//------------------------------// // 13. Respect // Story: Secrets of a Royal Guard // by Anzel //------------------------------// The trip back from Haven was uneventful, but pleasant. The addition of two ponies to pull the chariots made resting easier, and it was clear that all of my guards were eager to be ‘out of the pit.’ Evidently, weeks with minimal sunlight could make even the sweetest pony less polite when talking about somepony’s home. Crimson Dawn and Tranquil Dusk didn’t seem to take it personally; they were too busy being excited about seeing the outside world. Today was our final day of travel and the siblings had moved from excited to exuberant. They were at the front of the large chariot with their heads poked out of the windows. The fact that the wind was whipping their manes was lost to them. Suddenly, Tranquil thrust a hoof through the window and squealed. “Crimson, look! There it is! I never imagined it would look like this!” It was the loudest I’d ever heard her speak. “Nor I,” Crimson replied as his gaze lingered on the massive battlements that surrounded the city. From my spot on the bench, I called, “You won’t find many places quite like Canterlot. It keeps much of the old architecture.” They were too excited to notice me, so I turned my attention to Lightning Flash. “Why don’t you hop out and fly on ahead? Let the palace know we’re coming home and to prepare to receive us.” “Aye, aye, sir!” he replied warmly before opening the door and leaping from the chariot. He zipped off ahead, full of energy. I didn’t blame him. I’d be just as happy to get back to Crystal and Winterspear. Radiant Orchid set her hooves on the railing. “I’m actually pretty curious to find out if my foals overpowered my husband.” I chuckled at that. “I’m sure he managed.” “You’ve never met my foals,” she replied with a wink. “So noted, Sergeant,” I replied, pondering briefly why that was the case. The most likely culprit was that I’d never made time to, and I felt a little bad for that. We’d been working together for years. My thoughts shifted when I felt the chariot dip forwards as we started to slowly turn into a downward spiral. We made several passes to reduce our altitude closer to the palace courtyard. Finally, the wheels made contact with the stones and we drew to a stop. I pushed the door open and the ramp down, motioning everypony off. Crimson and Tranquil were the first out of the gate, their eyes as big as could be as they looked around. “Oh my gosh!” Tranquil gasped. Crimson even smiled. “It is how I imagined Nocturna’s keep would be.” “Please don’t run off,” I said with a teasing tone, but I was seriously concerned that they were flight risks. As Exemplar Ferrel passed, she said, “I much preferred this trip to the last one, Silent Knight.” That sent a shiver down my spine and I averted my eyes, not sure how to respond to that. When her hooves found the cobblestone, she called back into the chariot, “Sergeant Orchid, do not forget that you have promised me lunch with noodles.” “Better noodles than my house,” Orchid muttered as she walked down the ramp. That left only me, so I followed suit and dismounted. Miley Hooves was approaching us with four other guards, flailing her hoof in a happy wave the whole way. “Welcome back, sir! Welcome back—” Her eyes went wide as Princess Luna stepped around the larger chariot. “Princess?” I cleared my throat. “Thank you, Sergeant. It is good to be back. Please escort Princess Luna back to her quarters and send ponies to unload the chariots. Everypony else is dismissed. Go back to your families.” Radiant Orchid chimed in, “Check in tomorrow as normal, but I imagine the lieutenant will be assigning leave.” She wasn’t really giving me a choice. Not that I’d have done differently. “You’re correct. Dismissed.” Miley leaned in close and whispered, “Am I crazy, sir, or is she taller?” I whispered back, “She’s taller. Be sure she makes it up to her room. I need to see to our new guests, okay?” “Yes, sir!” the little mare replied before her eyes fell to Crimson and Tranquil. She blinked, looked at me, and then just motioned at Princess Luna. “Princess, if you’ll come with me.” “Yes, of course, Miley Hooves,” the princess replied before trotting off with her escorts. Orchid and the rest of the party had flown off for home already, leaving me alone with the very obviously not-regular-looking nox ponies. This was going to be an interesting situation. For now, I just needed to get them a place to stay. “Alright, you two, you’re going to be guests of the prin—” I paused and then just shook my head. “Of the princess. She’s a princess here. Follow me, please.” I started towards the main entrance of the palace. Tranquil gasped, her eyes going even wider. “Into the castle?” “Yes, this is where you’ll be staying. Before I get you some quarters, I’ll need to take you to the front office and get you passes.” “Passes?” Crimson asked. “Yes, ponies can’t just wander about the castle,” I explained. “We keep a list of those allowed in much in the same way you protect the library. The two of you are the princess’s personal guests, yes, but you’re unknown to the staff here.” Crimson nodded. “That is perfectly logical.” I’m glad he thought so. All ponies needed passes regardless but I wanted to ensure these two had them. With the way they looked, some young guard might make a huge mistake. And given the looks Crimson got from every guard, it was a real possibility. When we finally arrived at the pass office, Crimson leaned in close to me and whispered, “Will we be welcome here? I sense… animosity?” I quickly shook my head. “It’s not that at all. It’s curiosity and confusion mixed with diligence to keep an eye out for anything different. These ponies have not seen a pony like you ever. They’ll settle once you’re familiar.” His posture relaxed and he nodded. “I see. The same way we felt when you arrived.” “Basically, and we all got along just fine, so I expect the same here,” I said before pushing the door open and trotting inside. The lieutenant in charge was polite and professional, but her eyes kept falling on Crimson’s leathery wings. I managed to keep her focused long enough to get the task done, however, and looped a pass around the neck of each nox pony. Once that was done, I led them to the guest wing and had the palace hotelier assign them two nice but modest rooms. They weren’t official dignitaries, after all, and the nicest rooms needed to be kept open in case somepony of political importance arrived. We stood in the hall outside their rooms. Tranquil already looked ready to take off, and Crimson was side-eyeing the nearest guard. “Now listen,” I said, “you two are not prisoners here. You may come and go as you please, but you must wear your passes at all times. I’d even do so outside of the castle just to be sure. “I also recommend that you remain within the palace grounds to start. Most ponies will be curious and may pester you endlessly. A small amount of them might be afraid and end up seeming rude.” Tranquil’s wings twitched in clear irritation. “There is a whole city out there, though.” “And you can explore it. Just start small and work your way up.” I tried not to smile at her petulant pout. It reminded me of Crystal. “After I’m settled back at home, I’ll be happy to give you a tour and show you everything there is to see. If you get hungry, there is a commissary downstairs, or you can ask to have food brought to your room.” “Brought to us?” Crimson asked. “As if we were nobles?” I chuckled and corrected, “Welcome guests who deserve hospitality.” That seemed to be most everything. Although, if they went out into the city, they’d need money. I rooted around in my saddlebag, pulled out the small sum of bits I had on me, and offered them to Crimson. He took them and nodded in thanks. “That isn’t much, but I’m sure we can get more from the princess tomorrow. It should be enough to get something from the gift shop, if you’d like.” “And until tomorrow we’re going to be all alone here?” Tranquil asked softly. “Just this evening and maybe some of tomorrow. I’d stay but I really should look to my home and family first. Any royal guard you see can assist you and you might make friends. Plus, you have each other. Hopefully that will suffice for a night.” Crimson Dawn shifted. “Is there anything we should watch out for? Dangers?” I shook my head. “Not in the castle. Canterlot is also very safe. Just be polite and remember that most ponies are curious, not dangerous. I can assign one of my House Guards to you for the time being, if that’d make you feel safer.” “That won’t be necessary,” Crimson said. “We’ll keep to the palace for now. At least until you return,” He then looked at Tranquil and added, “Both of us.” Tranquil rolled her eyes and sighed. “Yes, fine. Both of us.” “Alright, but don’t hesitate to ask somepony if you need anything. I’ll see you soon,” I said before heading for the palace entrance. Leaving them there alone started to play on my mind. They weren’t familiar with the world they were in. Would they be fine for a single night? Yes, right? Yes. It was the palace! When I got outside, I pumped my wings and flew into the sky. It was time to go home. I could handle those two in the morning. For now, I just wanted to go to my quarters and sleep in my bed. That sounded like an excellent way to spend an evening. Down below my quarters came into view, the windows lit with a soft glow. Winterspear was home. That was nice. I missed her terribly. I swooped down and landed on the balcony outside my door and unlocked it. When I pushed it open, I was surprised when I found five pairs of eyes staring at me. Winterspear and Iridescence were in the kitchen, Crystal Wishes and Dot were on the couch, and—“Mom?” “Hello, Son,” she said softly. “Why don’t you come on inside? There is something we need to tell you.” My heart started beating quickly as I walked into my quarters and shut the door. A quick glance around the room found sympathy in the eyes of all the mares. “Mom, what is going on?” She took a deep breath, her eyes closing briefly. My mother had always been a confident, measured mare. After what seemed like forever, she said, “Silent Knight, while you were deployed, there was an accident. You know how your father is. Blind or not, he thinks he can do anything.” I took my helmet off and set it on the table by the door. It was suddenly smothering me. Being blind was not something that had ever stopped my father from trying to do whatever he wanted. There had been incidents in the past. “How badly is he hurt this time?” Winterspear stood up and exchanged glances with my mother before she came over to hug me. My mother swallowed and blinked her eyes several times. It took her a moment to find her composure. “This time it was just too severe.” “What?!” I gasped, struggling against my sister. “What does that mean?!” “He’s gone,” Winterspear whispered. My stomach knotted and I had to set my jaw to stop my lip from quivering. It took a few steady breaths to stop the shaking. “Excuse me, please,” I said before I pulled away from my sister. “Of course,” my mother replied before stepping back. Winterspear did the same, pain and hurt in her eyes. With as much dignity as I could manage, I walked past everypony and into my room. Once the door was closed, I let gravity take over and collapsed. I shook within my armor as tears pooled in my eyes. Stratus Knight was not a nice pony. It might even be fair to say he was callous, cold, and even cruel, but he was my dad. He’d been my hero and now he was gone. Suddenly gone! I hadn’t seen him in over a year and now everything left unsaid between us would be unsaid forever. When the tears had finally abated, I forced myself up and removed my armor. I cleaned my face as best as I could and went back out into the living room. Once again, the sympathetic eyes fell on me. I went to my mother and pulled her into a hug. She held me and whispered, “I’m sorry, Son.” I nodded. “I know. Me, too. What needs to be done?” “Not much, honestly. Stratus wanted a headstone in one of the Royal Guard cemeteries, but he also wanted to be cremated and scattered in the wind, per our traditions.” “Alright. I can get with veterans’ affairs for the headstone,” I said, throwing myself into the tasks ahead. A purpose would help occupy my mind and keep it from going into darker places. “Thank you,” she said softly, patting my forehoof. Then we all stood in silence. No pony seemed keen to say anything. What could you say? Finally, Winterspear asked, “What about some plans for you, Mom? This changes everything, doesn’t it? Why don’t you move here with us? We’ll all be together.” She winced. “Well, most of us.” “You should,” I put in. My mother shook her head. “Thank you, but no. I’m happy you two have made a home here. You both have lovely…” She trailed, looking at Iridescence, “...partners, but I’ve lived in Cloudsdale my whole life. That is where my friends are. I’m not sure I would fit in with Canterlot society. You’ll just have to come visit more often.” That hit a little too hard and my breath hitched as I fought back a sob. Quickly, I wiped a forehoof across my eyes and nodded. “Of course.” Over on the couch, I caught sight of Crystal Wishes looking my way with deep concern and sympathy. “Have you eaten yet?” Iridescence asked, offering a much needed and appreciated distraction. “Since you got back, that is?” I shook my head. “No.” I went to the couch and settled between Crystal and Dot. My marefriend looped her hooves around me and I softly ruffled Dot’s green mane. “I could eat.” “Me, too,” Dot said. “Alright, I’ll go ahead and make a little something,” Iridescence replied before heading into the kitchen. Winterspear went to help her. There was a long, awkward silence, filled only by the sounds of dinner being prepared. My mother cleared her throat. “Crystal Wishes, I fear that every time we see each other it is under unfortunate circumstances. I hope that won’t dissuade you from sticking with my son.” Crystal shook her head. “No, ma’am. If anything does come between us, it won’t be because of something like this.” “You do seem like the strong-willed sort. You, too, Iridescence. I find it curious that both of my foals have similar taste in mares.” Dot snorted and laughed. “Oh, you have no idea, Mrs. Wallflower!” In the kitchen, Iridescence’s eyes went big before narrowing into a glare at the smaller pony. I simply looped a hoof over Dot’s mouth and pulled her close to me. Mother’s brow arched, but she was polite enough not to inquire further. I wasn’t sure if she’d put two and two together or remembered our discussion during Hearth’s Warming Eve. Iridescence stirred the pan in front of her, finally asking before the silence dragged on too long again, “Sir, do you have any interesting stories from your recent mission?” It was a merciful change of topic. “Yes, several, to be honest. It was a complete success. You’re going to be surprised when you see Princess Luna. She’s grown.” Crystal looked at me curiously. “Grown?” “Yes. She learned a lot of night alicorn magic, and evidently that makes her grow,” I explained. Dot peered at me. “When I learn spells, I don’t grow!” Iridescence started setting the table. “Well… based on your grades, I’m not certain you’re actually learning spells.” “C is for complete!” Dot chimed. “I’m not sure about that, sweetie,” Winterspear replied. “Grades are very important, Dot,” my mother said. “Especially if you want to make something of yourself. Hard work is rewarded. Look at your sister. She’s a sergeant in the House Guard. That is a very important position.” Dot squirmed against me. “I understand. I’m doing better, honest.” “Dinner is served, ponies,” Iridescence said, the smell of cooked vegetables reaching me. I stood and headed over to our table. It was designed to seat two comfortably and four in a pinch. Six was probably going to be tight. My mother walked past me and over to Iridescence. “Have a seat; I’ll do the serving.” “Yes, ma’am,” Iridescence said, moving to the nearest chair. It happened to be at the head of the table. Softly, Mother cleared her throat. “Not that one.” Iridescence stopped mid-seat and moved to the next chair over. I moved the living room chair over to the table and nestled it next to one of the sides. “Crystal, why don’t you sit here?” “Thank you,” she replied, settling into the comfortable chair. Winterspear flipped over our trashcan, sat a pillow on it, and pushed it next to Iridescence. “Sorry, Dot, this will have to do.” “That’s alright,” Dot replied. Mother started setting out portions on all of the plates. She then sat at the foot of the table and nodded at the chair opposite her. “Silent Knight, sit down.” I looked at the head of the table and then over at her. “No, ma’am,” I replied softly before sitting down beside Crystal. Winterspear smiled briefly at me before taking her place at the head of the table. Stratus Knight was gone and there would be things about him I’d want to carry on. This was not one of them. Winterspear was the eldest, and things were going to be a little different from now on. Our dinner was quiet with forced conversation. I shared some of my experiences in Haven and about how I’d returned with nox ponies. That was met with a lot of questions from Dot. In a way, it was welcome. Once we were finished, I felt myself needing another moment and slipped out onto the balcony. The fresh air did me good as I tried to process the idea of a world without my father. My mother came out of my quarters to stand beside me and we exchanged glances briefly. “I’m sorry you had to come home to this,” she said softly. “This isn’t exactly the sort of thing you plan,” I responded. “No, I suppose it isn’t. At least if he’d been off somewhere fighting it would have been more expected. Still, you shouldn’t have to be gone so long doing your duty and then face this right when you get home.” Mom was always apologizing for my father in one way or another. She’d always supported him but also cleaned up the messes he left. I shook my head. “Why don’t you move here, Mom? What are you going to do there alone?” She shifted to look at me directly. “Silent Knight, I appreciate the sentiment, but I won’t be alone. All of the ponies I know live in Cloudsdale, and they aren’t going to be sent away on dangerous missions nor judge me for wearing or not wearing the right frock. My name may be Wallflower but I am anything but. And—” Mom stopped talking mid-sentence. Her eyes fell briefly before she set her hoof over mine. “And forgive me for saying this, but I think I’d like to be away from the Guard for a little while. I know my children are going to follow their father’s path, but for just a moment I’m going to pretend I’m not a Royal Guard mother. “I’ll just be a regular mare whose husband didn’t come back different from a war and whose son didn’t almost die in nearly the same way. I just need a little room to breathe. Can you understand that?” It hurt to see her like this, almost more than knowing my father was gone. There wasn’t anything else I could say except, “I guess I’ll have to.” “That is appreciated. This is what I need. At least for now. Perhaps I’ll take you up on the offer soon. Maybe sooner if you start having foals. Although I’ll be quite frank with you, living below the clouds seems unnatural to me. The fact that both you and your sister have attached yourselves to unicorns is beyond me.” My brow arched. “You don’t approve?” She softly chuckled and shook her head. “Oh, I don’t care who you like, Silent Knight. Crystal Wishes is lovely. This isn’t about her or Iridescence, specifically. It was your father’s idea to leave you in this city and he got far more than he bargained for. You’ve adapted too well, but you’re still a pegasus. I just don’t want you to forget who you are. You’re meant to live in the clouds, above all of this.” “I don’t understand what you’re getting at,” I admitted. “I know, but perhaps one day you will. Either way, I’m happy with the stallion you’ve become. Just… find a balance between being Stratus Knight and Silent Knight, alright? There was more good in him than I think you and your sister realize.” More apologies. I’d heard those all my life. It wasn’t what I wanted to hear right now, so I changed the subject. “I’ll go over to veteran’s affairs in the morning. Dad will easily qualify for a spot in Canterlot’s Royal Guard Cemetery. Even if it is just a headstone. If that is alright with you.” “It is, but that can wait until we get back,” she said. “Get back?” My mother nodded. “We have to spread his ashes. Winterspear and I put it off until you got home, but tradition demands it be done soon.” That didn’t make sense; pegasus tradition was to mourn for almost a month before spreading the ashes. That gave all members of the family time to come pay their respects. My mother would follow the tradition exactly. Then it hit me, that was exactly what she was doing. “When was the accident?” Mother replied as evenly as she could, “Two days after you left. We’ll need to leave tomorrow.” They’d known for weeks and had time to mourn. I got an evening. One lousy evening. Would I be ready tomorrow? It didn’t matter; tradition is tradition and my father deserved that at least. “Alright, tomorrow.” “Tomorrow,” my mother repeated before reaching out to take my hoof in hers. We squeezed each other and held on in silence, watching the stars twinkle in the sky. ☾ West of Canterlot and high in the clouds, Winterspear, my mother, and I stood looking down at Equestria below. It appeared small and insignificant compared to the task we were meant to perform today. The wind whipped through my coat and swirled all around us. The landscape below showed the earliest hint of spring, but the air this high was bitterly cold. My sister and I wore our ceremonial guard armor: hers gold, mine dark purple. Mother had found a suitable black dress for the occasion with the help of Crystal Wishes. It was sad that for this solemn occasion, there were only the three of us. There were a lot of ponies that respected my father, but he didn’t really have friends. We stood in relative silence, the urn clutched in my mother’s grasp. Winterspear asked softly, “Do we just dump it? Shouldn’t there be a ceremony?” “He wasn’t much on fancy ceremonies,” Mother replied. “He wasn’t keen on a lot of things, Mom,” Winterspear retorted bitterly. “This isn’t only about him.” I took a few deep breaths. The tension that was building between my sister and mother was almost palpable. It made me uncomfortable, especially right now. Mother shook her head. “You’re right, but please, if only for today, have a little respect.” She sighed and offered the urn to me. “Silent Knight, I think you should do it.” On instinct alone, I recoiled. “Why?” My mother held the urn out still. “You are his namesake and son. Regardless of whether it is right or wrong, that meant something to him. He may have never said it but he was proud of you. Now, this may not only be about him but they are his ashes, his body, his spirit. This is what he would have wanted.” My eyes met Winterspear’s and I could see the anger and bitterness in them. There was also sadness and perhaps even shame. Being the eldest had never been enough for our father. She had always fallen short and now, when it was all done, she was to be passed over a final time. “Do it,” Winterspear said in an emotionless tone. With shaking hooves, I took the urn, carefully removed the lid, and waited for an appropriate gust of wind. When a particularly strong one hit, I turned the vessel sideways and let the ashes spill out. “We return Stratus Knight to the sky from whence he came,” Mother said quietly. “May he be at peace knowing the wind will always be beneath his wings.” In that moment, the whole situation was more than I could bear. With my composure cracking, I turned my back on them to cry. Winterspear’s voice was shaky as she asked, “What now?” “You say your goodbyes and go home,” Mother replied, her tone tightly controlled. She was holding herself together with the mountainous strength she’d always possessed. “What about you?” my sister asked. “I’ve already said mine and it is time I head home. It has been good spending so many days with you, Winterspear. It was a shame we couldn’t all be here together. You’ll come visit me more often, I hope. I miss our lunches.” “Of course. I promise,” was the reply. Then I heard the shifting of armor and cloth. It was likely they were embracing. I couldn’t look at them. My mother came to my side, standing a pace back to spare me my dignity. “You’re a fine soldier, Son. You’ve got everything figured out and I have no doubt you’ll be able to stand on your own hooves. Come visit me soon.” “Yes, Mother,” I said softly before wiping my eyes with a hoof. When she turned to leave I stood my ground a moment before turning to swiftly follow and embrace her. “It’s alright, Silent,” she said, squeezing me back and lingering in the hug. Eventually, it ended and she patted me on the chest. “Be well.” With that, she hopped off the cloud and gracefully angled herself towards Cloudsdale. My mother was an incredibly strong mare. She’d always put up with my father and supported him. Still, I worried what she might do alone without him to watch over. When she was out of sight, Winterspear came over and looped her hooves tightly around me, grinding our armor together and causing me to cringe at the sound. “You can cry. It’s okay, I’ll never tell anypony,” she whispered. And so I did.