Crystal owned a pretty nice couch in general. It wasn’t really stallion sized but it worked well enough for me. It was comfortable, somewhat pink, and feminine. Generally, I preferred the seating pillows but sometimes a pony just needed to lay out. Especially when he was being contrary.
“Oh, come on, it will be funny,” Crystal called from her bathroom.
My ear flicked. “I think it might be offensive.”
Crystal huffed. “No! Velvet, tell him it will be funny.”
Velvet poked her head out of her bedroom. “It will be funny.” There wasn’t a ton of conviction in her voice.
“Uh-huh. And why don’t you go as her costume-buddy?”
The earth pony shook her head. “Nope, you’re getting married. Couples costume or bust! Besides…” Velvet leapt out into the living room. She was wearing a white shirt, a leather coat, and had wooden stakes strapped all over herself. “I’m Velvet Belmont, vampony hunter!”
My nose wrinkled. It took a lot of effort not to laugh but I couldn’t stop the snort.
“What?” Velvet asked.
I cleared my throat. “You’re a vampony hunter? If you see a vampony, you’re going to run away! How do you plan to hunt them?”
“I could!” Velvet protested.
“Okay, sure, sure. I’ll remember that when one jumps out and bites you.”
Velvet gasped. “Don’t say that! Don’t even joke about that!”
I waved a hoof. “Okay, okay. If a vampony attacks you, I promise to protect you… and if it turns you, I promise to end your horrible unlife.”
“Thank you, I think,” Velvet said before wandering back into her bedroom.
“Stop scaring Velvet,” Crystal said as she came out of the bathroom. My eyes were immediately drawn to her. She was the spitting but smaller image of Princess Celestia. She had the mane, the tail, the regal accoutrements, and even the cutie mark perfect.
“Wow…” I said.
Crystal posed and grinned. Then she frowned. “Hey, wait, don’t tell me you have a Princess Celestia thing!”
I snorted. That was a tactic I’d learned mares used now and then. They called it a trick question. “Can I not admire my mare in costume? You’re glamorous.”
She came over and kissed my cheek. “Your turn.”
“I never agreed to this.”
“You did so! For one free favor.”
My eyes narrowed. “When?”
“You know when! Right after we… uh… well after we got up, after that other thing, but before we got out of bed.”
My face felt hot. Sneaky mare. “Fine, but if she’s upset, you’re explaining it. You’re explaining it all, or so help me I’ll tell her you tricked me by using your m—”
Crystal thrust her hoof over my mouth and called, “Velvet, bring the wig!”
☾
Princess Luna hadn’t stopped laughing for over a minute. Neither had Princess Celestia. In fact, both of them had to sit down after seeing Crystal and me in our costumes.
“He looks so miserable,” Princess Luna gasped between giggles.
Princess Celestia just nodded, tears in her eyes.
Crystal chimed, “You should have seen him while Velvet and I dressed him!”
More mares laughing.
“I said you’d be offended,” I put in, hopeful.
Princess Luna quickly shook her head. “Nope!” she gasped. “Priceless.”
With a heavy sigh, I just nodded. My beautiful, long, and glorious wig bobbed about as I did so. Crystal and Velvet had dressed me up as Princess Luna. Not just halfway, but all the way. I had a horn, a crown, hoofguards, and even her cutie mark. They’d gone so far as to color my flank black to match.
I was, without a doubt, a little white, blue, and black Princess Luna. I also made it look good. If I was going to be a parody, it would be a respectful one!
The key piece was the wig, though. It was a magnificent Princess Luna mane the likes of which was rivaled only by the real thing. Even when I’d briefly been a mare thanks to Runic, my mane had never looked so nice.
Crystal looped a foreleg around mine. “Come on, Mr. Grumpy, we’re holding up the receiving line. I’m glad you approve of our costumes, Princesses.”
“Oh, I do!” Princess Luna snickered before winking at me. “See you later, Mr. Grumpy.”
I’d Mr. Grumpy her! Well… I wouldn’t… but maybe the next time she asked me for tea, I’d only put one sugar cube in it.
Still, I could handle being the rump of all their jokes for a night. It was a Nightmare Night party and I had a lot of fond memories about the first one I’d spent with Princess Luna. Plus, seeing as I oversaw the invitations, I’d sent out a few extras. A few that weren’t on her list but had been on mine.
It was unlikely that either Willowy or Princess Luna would figure it out initially. After all, it was a costume party and there were a ton of ponies here. At any rate, the princess would be meeting up to three special ponies tonight, whether she knew it or not.
Yes, once again my plans were all coming together. Never underestimate a stallion for being a stallion. Even if he is dressed stunningly as a mare.
When the Nightmare Night festivities were in full swing, it seemed like everypony that was going to attend had probably arrived, so the princesses left the receiving line. I hoped everypony invited was there, anyway. It was hard to tell under all the elaborate costumes.
Princess Luna had gotten her hooves on Miley’s special mane dye again and was back to her regally blonde self. She’d paired her new coat and mane color with a Daring Do costume to ensure her fun was doubled, or so she’d told me.
On the other hoof, Princess Celestia went more lowkey: she was dressed like a banana. Just a plain banana with her head poked through a hole near the top. Both princesses’ costumes were somewhat amusing, but mine seemed to be the winner for the evening.
Literally. I had a ‘1st Place’ ribbon stuck to my flank.
It was time to get to my mission, however, and verify that my special guests hadn’t refused such a lofty invitation. I wandered through the crowd, trying to figure out who was who. After all, the only thing I had to go on was a picture from a file.
“Princess,” Div said to me before bowing. He was in some kind of toga.
I glared at him and kept going as he and the red-coated stallion he was with started laughing. Laugh it up, boys! We’ll see what happens to you when you get a mare… then I paused. Wait a minute, Div had married a stallion. Hmm… Smart pony.
As I moved through the crowd, I spotted one of my targets: Lieutenant Melodic Ward of the Canterlot City Guard. Winterspear had checked up on her and she was an excellent officer, as good as her file made her look. She’d also been an associate of Sunny Day.
For the evening, she was dressed up as a cowpony. At least, I assumed it was a costume. Most ponies didn’t wear a hat, duster, and lasso to the palace or around Canterlot. Even under the costume, though, I could see she was fit and well maintained. I wouldn’t allow a slouch of an officer to command my unit.
“Good evening,” I said I as I approached. “I see you answered my invitation.”
She turned my way, looked me over, and then asked, “Lieutenant Knight?”
“Indeed.”
Her brow shot up. “Well, Lieutenant, when you invited me to this party, I was not expecting this at all.”
“A Nightmare Night costume party?”
She shook her head. “You dressed as a mare.”
I chuckled and then shrugged. “My fiancée was determined we would be a matching pair. If you see a small Princess Celestia around, that is her.”
Melodic Ward laughed. “It is good to see that the palace still has a sense of humor. If I might be bold, however, would you tell me why you invited me? I don’t think I know a single pony here.”
Straight to the point. I liked that. “Your file was impressive. Long service with the Guard and you’re a mustang like me. I’m not promising anything, but there might be some leadership changes here at the palace.
“This is an opportunity for you to meet both princesses, although I don’t want you to treat a conversation with them like an interview. Just go talk to them both, get a feel for their personalities, and let them learn who you are.”
Her ear flicked. “You want me to just go talk to the princesses?”
“Yes. If you ever plan to work in this palace you should be able to do that.” I cracked a small smile. “Also, you do know at least one pony here. See if you can find her. Good luck!”
While she stared at me in stunned silence, I wandered off. I had two more ponies to find plus be generally social. After all, Silent Knight is a fun party pony. Usually. Okay, probably not. Still, appearances had to be kept.
After a brief trip to the buffet with Crystal, I’d already found my second target: Silver Hammer. I was not impressed. He’d let himself go a bit and it seemed like, perhaps, his days as an even-hoofed, western royal guard were behind him. He’d stumbled through his conversation with me and didn’t instill much confidence. He’d also seemed more interested in the buffet than our conversation.
Typical. A pony gets all gussied up and all the stallion thinks about is food. Wait, that was an odd thought to have. Perhaps the wig was starting to get into my head.
At any rate, I had thanked him for some random thing he’d done that was in his file and told him to enjoy the party. There was no way that stallion was getting my job.
The last pony I was looking for seemed nowhere to be found. Perhaps she had decided not to come. A foolish thing to do, but it said a lot about her. She might have still been around somewhere, though, so I kept looking. There was plenty of evening left.
Off along the wall, a pair of ponies caught my eye. I headed over to them with a smile. “Well hel—” Aaaand Sunny was already laughing.
Soarin lightly cupped a hoof around her mouth and replied, “Hello, Silent Knight. You’ll have to forgive Sunny. She doesn’t appreciate a clever costume like you and I clearly do.” He was dressed as Commander Hurricane. That was a pony I wouldn’t have minded being tonight.
“It’s alright, I know Sunny well enough to know she means it in a friendly sort of way.”
Sunny, who was dressed up like a cat, just kept giggling under the hoof.
“Hi, Silent Knight!” Azurite’s voice came from somewhere behind Sunny and Soarin.
“Azurite?” I asked, craning my neck to peer.
“Hi! I’m hiding. Crowds make me nervous even if I know these ponies are almost all royal guards. The costumes are throwing me off.” She was completely covered in some kind of pink pajamas. Her head was stuck right in the middle of a bigger, fabric pony head with two big blue button eyes.
“I see…” I replied, peering curiously at her. “So, uh… what are you, exactly?”
“I’m Pink Pony!” Azurite cheered.
“Who is Pink Pony?”
Soarin let Sunny go and snorted. “Her do—I mean, her special plush pony friend.”
Azurite nodded eagerly.
“I see…” I repeated. “Well, it is a lovely costume. All of you.”
“You, too,” Sunny finally said, a grin spreading completely across her face. “Iridescence had mentioned you were a pretty hot little mare. Now I know she was right.”
My eyes narrowed. “I’m not little.”
“Fun-sized!” Azurite chimed.
“I’m going to leave you three now and go find ponies that are more fun. Soarin is excluded from my disdain, of course.”
He nodded sagely.
Sunny wagged a hoof at me. “Oh, come on, it’s fun. Besides, there is a pony out there asking around for you. A unicorn mare. Are you up to no good?”
My ear twitched. “Oh? What does she look like?”
“She looks like a scary mechanical pony!” Azurite said.
The yellow unicorn’s hoof poked me. “You are up to no good!”
“No, I’m not. I’m up to good! I’m up to doing the right thing. I do need to go find her, though.”
“Sure… sure. Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do,” Sunny said.
Well, that at least left me a ton of leeway. I circled the floor once more before spotting my costumed partner. I trotted over and nosed her cheek.
“Where have you been?” Crystal asked curiously before biting into a caramel apple.
“Mingling. I chatted with a few officers, Sunny, Soarin, and Azurite, and some other ponies.”
Crystal peered at me. “Were you chatting or doing security? As far as I can tell, there are plenty of palace guards here to do security.”
That was a fact. The princesses had invited their entire House Guards as guests. Of course, that would never fly. One squad for each was on duty, but Sunny and I had set it up so that shifts were only two hours. Each pony would work two and enjoy the rest. Plus, there were tons of palace guards to help.
I shook my head and held up a hoof. “Fake princess’s honor I was not checking into security. I was mingling and looking for Lieutenant Snow.”
“I don’t know Lieutenant Snow,” Crystal said matter of factly before smacking her teeth a bit, trying to get the caramel off.
Hmm, evidently, I needed to treat her to caramel more often. It was amusing to watch her eat it. Quickly, I shook my head. Focus! “No, and neither do I. I’m hoping she might come work at the palace so I—”
Crystal huffed. “You said you weren’t working!”
“No, I said I wasn’t checking on security. I’m not working. I invited her here socially to see if she got along with everypony on a social level. It’s just social socializing.”
The mare glared. “You’re vetting her, social or not.” Behind Crystal, I saw a mechanical pony cruising through the crowd.
My mare and I exchanged glares and then I smiled. “You dressed me up like a lady. I’m claiming my favor.”
Crystal’s nose wrinkled, and finally her glare fell. “Well… cashed that in quick, didn’t you? Fine, free pass. Go talk to your Lieutenant Snow, but then you better get back here and be my sister all night!”
I bobbed my head in a quick nod. “Yes, dear. Incest is best,” I said before kissing her cheek and hurrying off after the mechanical mare.
“Wait, what?” Crystal called after me.
Carefully, I flapped my wings and flew over the crowd. I came to a landing between a boxy mechanical pony and the buffet table. I couldn’t see any part of her. “Lieutenant Snow?”
“Princess Luna?” the pony replied.
“Lieutenant Knight.”
“Of course, my mistake,” she said, her tone very even. Was she kidding? “Yes, I am Lieutenant Snow. Thank you for inviting me to the party.”
I tried to look her in the eyes but the visor over the box she was wearing made it impossible. “You’re welcome. Would you care to take your helmet off?”
“And break character? No, sir!”
Was she kidding again? “Alright… well, I’m glad you could come. I invited you for a reason. This is by no means a sure thing but there might be some leadership changes here at the palace. This is an opportunity for you to meet both princesses. Casually. I don’t want you to discuss the job. This is more about personality.”
The mechanical head tilted slightly. “I see. Well, I’ve had a lovely chat with the real Princess Luna already. She was amused by my costume. Was she amused by yours?”
“Very.”
“I see. Well, I suppose I’ll go talk to Princess Celestia when we’re done, then. I was going to anyway since we haven’t spoken in a while. Thank you for the opportunity. I’m honored to be considered, even if it isn’t a sure thing.”
She knew Princess Celestia already? Interesting. “Of course, your file is excellent,” I replied. The boxes made it hard to tell if she was in shape or not. Currently, her only shape was square and rectangle.
The visor peered at me. “Is it normal for a House Guard commander to look for officers for the palace?” It wasn’t an accusatory question, just a plain one. Sharp, though. Very sharp.
“No, but I’m a special case.”
“Ah, of course. Well, if you’ll excuse me? This suddenly feels like an extremely important evening.”
I waved a hoof. “Yes, but don’t overdo it. Social only, alright?”
“Yes, sir,” she replied before wandering off.
The party was still going strong as I headed back to Crystal. Her ire was down now that I intended to remain glued to her hip for the rest of the evening. That included doing what we called dancing. It was mostly bobbing up and down and shaking back and forth.
Of everypony there, we were probably close to the worst dancers. Not that we cared. To my surprise, however, Princess Celestia had a lot of talent when it came to modern dancing. She seemed to be having a great time, too.
Without warning, I was bumped from behind and lifted. My forelegs remained in place while my rump and hindlegs ended up on top of what looked like a big rock.
“Oh, Celestia! I’m so sorry, Lieutenant,” came the voice of Miley Hooves.
Runic’s voice followed immediately after. “Hi Silent Knight!”
“Hi Miley, Hi Runic,” I said before moving forwards enough to get back on all my hooves. I turned around to try and figure out what they were. “Oh, of course. You’re a rock.”
“Not just any rock!” Runic said. “Watch!”
Suddenly the rock split in two. On the inside of the somewhat cone-shaped halves were a lot of pretty, glimmering swirls. At the center of each half were Runic and Miley’s faces.
“We’re a geode!” they exclaimed.
“Very pretty!” Crystal cheered as she clapped her hooves.
It was, but there was a major flaw. “How do you see where you’re going when you’re together?” I asked.
Miley grimaced and Runic kicked a hoof. “I’m not going to lie, I didn’t fully think that through when I made the costume.”
I chuckled. “I can see that. I’m going to rather enjoy watching you attempt to bob for apples.”
“Oh, that sounds like fun!” Runic replied before rushing off suddenly.
Miley sighed. “I better make sure he doesn’t drown.”
“Good thinking,” I said, watching her wobble after him in her unbalanced costume.
Crystal started to giggle and lightly pushed my shoulder with a hoof. “See, they’re in a couple’s costume. I bet Runic didn’t complain.”
“He’s dressed like his favorite thing in the world. Why would he complain?”
“And Princess Luna isn’t your favorite thing in the world?” Crystal asked slyly.
I shook my head. “No. You’re my favorite thing.”
The mare’s cheeks turned red and she nestled close to me. “Well, aren’t you a clever filly.”
My eyes narrowed. “Please don’t say that. I have a thing about my mares leaving me for mares. Next thing I know, I’m going to find you running off into the sunset with Velvet.”
Crystal huffed. “No, never! She’s like my sister. That would be weird.”
“I see,” I replied before going back to dancing.
Crystal swatted me with a hoof. “Don’t be like that. You know I’m playing. Speaking of sisters, though… where is Winterspear?”
“She and Iridescence took Dot to Ponyville. They felt like that would be more fun for her.”
“Oh, well, sure. I haven’t seen a single filly or colt here, now that you mention it.”
I nodded in agreement. It was an adult pony party for sure, especially since there was hard cider involved. Although the idea of knocking on doors and getting treats wasn’t a bad one to me. Nightmare Night wasn’t super popular in Cloudsdale. Well, at least not with my father.
“I’m sure she’ll have fun,” I said.
Crystal beamed up at me. “She will! Velvet and I used to go to Ponyville when I was a filly. I really enjoyed it.”
“Well, maybe next year we should do the same thing. We can go with Dot and have a good time!”
“You’re not having a good time here?” Crystal asked, one brow raised.
“I am, but there is nothing wrong with wearing costumes and eating candy. Besides, we can see your friend High Horse.”
Crystal nodded and smiled. “Fair enough. I think this party turned out to be a huge success, though. I bet Willowy is thrilled.”
I bet she was. Wherever or whoever she was. Probably in some costume with a mask, lurking near her princess. Our princess!
I was particularly thrilled that the invitations went out correctly. She had seemed to think I couldn’t manage that. She was likely sulking that I’d done so well, and that thought made me grin. “Oh, I don’t know about that.”
The mare huffed. “When will you two stop fighting?”
“When one of us drops dead. My bits are on her. She’s high strung,” I replied.
“That isn’t nice!” Crystal glared at me.
“Well… I’m not sorry. I don’t care that she is part of your mare-harem, I don’t like her,” I said, putting up a fake stonewall face.
Crystal lightly pushed me and just shook her head. “Rude!”
☾
Well past midnight, the party started to slow down. Over half of the guests had already said their polite goodbyes and headed for home. The rest of us weren’t too far behind, either. Almost everypony was seated and engaged in casual, quiet conversation.
The few that were left on the dance floor looked like zombies. Mostly because they were dressed like zombies, except for one mare that was dressed like a bag of oats… or was wearing a bag of oats. Either way, she was oats.
Crystal, Velvet, and I were sharing an oversized seating pillow. I was sitting, Crystal was laying up against my side asleep, and Velvet was leaning up against Crystal and pretending not to be asleep. She hadn’t wanted to miss anything.
Sunny was sitting across from us with Azurite, who had also fallen asleep shortly after Soarin left. He needed to be up early the next morning. Such was the life of a Wonderbolt.
Our initial conversation had been awkward. Evidently Sunny and Velvet had had a thing at some point and then Azurite and Velvet became friends. In the end, though, everypony got past it and just had a good time.
“I’m thinking it might be time to go,” Sunny said softly.
I nodded. “Yeah… most ponies are asleep. At least we’re off tomorrow, although it feels odd to leave while they’re still up.”
Sunny’s head turned towards another set of pillows. The princesses were sitting there talking, giggling, and generally just being sisters. I hadn’t seen them cut loose as much as they had in a long time. It was refreshing.
“Yeah… but we are off duty,” Sunny replied, then rolled her eyes. “Although I know you never go off duty.”
My only answer was a light shrug.
Sunny waved a hoof at me. “Alright, well, you keep an eye on them both for me. I’m taking Azurite home.” Her horn illuminated and levitated the small, pink-clad unicorn onto her back. “Goodnight, Silent Knight. Give my regards to Crystal and Velvet when they wake up.”
“Will do, try to sleep in tomorrow.”
“That is an order I can absolutely follow!” Sunny winked at me and then headed off for home.
Once she was gone, my eyes drooped a bit and I let them close. A little nap surely wouldn’t hurt and if anything got out of hoof I’d hear it.
It dawned on me shortly after that hoofsteps were approaching. The pony that owned them was attempting to be quiet too. I opened my eyes and looked up. Princess Luna was peering down at us and smiling.
I tried to smile. “Princess?”
“Did I wake you?” she asked.
“No, I was just snoozing. Weren’t you talking to Princess Celestia?”
She nodded. “I was, but she went to bed.”
She had? When? My eyes were only closed for a second!
“Then I saw the snuggle pile over here,” Princess Luna continued. “I think it is time you retired, too. I’ve had a few rooms in the palace prepared. All you have to do is go upstairs.”
That sounded great. Carrying Crystal and Velvet home that late was possible but didn’t seem thrilling. Plus staying in the palace was always an honor. “Thank you, Princess, that’s most kind. Could you do me a favor and levitate my companions onto my back?”
Princess Luna grinned and nodded. “Of course. I think we had a very successful party. Don’t you?” she asked as her magic encircled the sleeping mares and gently settled them onto my back.
I rose slowly, making sure I didn’t shift or jostle them too much. “Without a doubt. You’re going to have a hard time topping it next year. I’m sure Willowy will come up with something, though.”
“Agreed. Good night, Silent Knight, and have a wonderful day off tomorrow.”
With a smile, I replied, “I will. And you take it easy, too. We don’t want a repeat of what happened at my graduation party, do we?”
With her hoof resting on her chest in mock protest, the princess glared at me. “What are you suggesting?”
“That somepony doesn’t always know when to call it quits,” I teased back.
“That might be fair,” she replied before nuzzling my cheek. “Sleep well. I’ll be turning in shortly myself.”
“Goodnight, Princess.”
Velvet and Crystal, overall, didn’t weigh much. Even with both draped over my back, it wasn’t much of an effort to get them up the stairs and into the guest hall. A few times, I was confident Velvet had woken up but, when I looked back, her eyes were still closed. She was snoring a bit too… fakely? Was fakely a word?
Crystal, on the other hoof, was completely zonked out. I’d shared a bed with her long enough to know when she was asleep.
When we got to the first suite, I opened the door and said, “Okay, lazy, first stop is you.”
Velvet didn’t miss a beat as she slid off my back and grinned. “Thanks for the ride! See you tomorrow.”
“Yup, have a good sleep.”
She nodded and hurried through the door, shutting it behind her.
I chuckled and went down to the next guestroom. That one would be ours. It had a better view of Canterlot and I wanted Crystal to see it in the morning.
Once we were through the door, I took her over to the big plush bed and carefully rolled her off my back and onto the mattress.
Her forehooves wiggled a bit in my direction. Before slipping into bed with her, I took my wig and horn off. I didn’t want to wake her, so I just left her costume accessories on.
I nestled up close and looped my hooves around her. She snuggled her cheek to my chest and promptly went back to her deep sleep. I closed my eyes and joined her.