30. On Edge
The first week of the trip had languished in slow awkwardness. Once the excitement over my engagement was gone, Princess Luna had done a lot of moping in her suite. She had spent only a single evening playing games with us. Which, in turn, meant I couldn’t enjoy them since I knew I was the cause of her sadness.
Inflicting that sadness on a pony so close to me was excruciating. More than I could have imagined previously. I’d gotten accustomed to Princess Luna’s familial affection towards me. In fact, I craved it given how distant my own mother had been with her love. The love the princess gave me was starting to feel distant, too, and that frightened me.
The door to our shared space opened and Princess Luna wandered in looking tired. Her mane was tied back in a ponytail, her coat was mussed, and her eyes were red. It had likely been another double session.
“Good evening, Silent Knight,” she said absently as she walked past.
“Good evening, Princess. Another long session?”
She settled down onto the large pillow. “Yes.”
“Did you eat?” I asked.
“No.” It was short. She was being short?
“Would you like me to go get you some dinner from downstairs? I assume you need to eat if you’re training.”
“That would be fine,” she replied.
“What would you like?”
“Anything is fine.”
“Princess… are you angry with me?” I asked.
Princess Luna’s eyes focused and she looked over at me. “Angry? Why would I be angry?”
I crossed the small room and laid low beside her pillow. “Midnight’s Peak.”
The princess sat a hoof on my head. “I’m not angry at you.”
“I realize I haven’t seen you for nine weeks, but you’re not acting like yourself. I can’t say for sure, but I can only guess it started after I gave you the news,” I pointed out.
She sighed and shook her head. “I’m not angry. I’m sad. I’ve been… avoiding you for fear of saying something hurtful or foolish. What you did was good for our kingdom. I will come to terms with it in my own time.”
“Can I make it up to you somehow?” I asked hopefully.
“Could anypony make up to you the loss of your father?”
I winced and dropped my head.
The princess’s hoof followed me down and she groaned, “I’m so sorry, Silent Knight! This… this is what I meant. That wasn’t fair. They’re not the same at all. I’m going to be fine. It was just a stupid city. Ruins in an old, forgotten cavern.”
“It meant something to you,” I said weakly.
She sighed and nodded. “Yes, yes it did, and always will.” The princess then shifted her hooves to rest under my forelegs. She pulled me up from where I’d pitifully prostrated myself.
“You mean more to me, though,” she continued. “Far more, and I don’t want to let my temporary self-pity lead to more hurt feelings. I can plainly see that you regret doing what you did and the rational side of me knows it was the best choice given the situation. If I’d wanted to weigh in on it, I should have been back in Canterlot ruling. I am angrier with myself for being pulled in two different directions.”
I was surprised at the ease with which Princess Luna had lifted me. Evidently, me being adult-sized made little difference for the alicorn. “You shouldn’t blame yourself. You have to do this training. This is very important.”
“You’re speaking to the rational side of me, Silent Knight. She knows that. It is the emotional side that is struggling. There is no salve for that.”
Probably not, but that wasn’t going to stop me from trying. I sat my forehooves over hers and replied, “Even if you’re not mad, even if it was the right solution, I’m still sorry because it made you sad and that isn’t something I can protect you from.”
The princess softly chuckled. “Your duty is to protect my physical wellbeing. I believe the emotional is beyond the role.”
“As your house guard, sure. As your friend, however, I think there is more to do.”
“And what would you do?” she asked, brow arched in challenge.
What would I do? Yes, what would I do? I didn’t know what to do.
Well… when Winterspear was sad over Caramel Mint, I’d helped her. I’d gone to see her, I’d hugged her, and I’d told her I loved her. In the past, she’d known I loved her, but I’d not said or showed it. Not explicitly.
Princess Luna knew I loved her, though. Right? I knew she loved me. Although I’d never said it to her, either. At least I didn’t think I had. Not explicitly.
I smiled at her and shifted between her forehooves to more properly hug her as tightly as I could. “I love you, and I’d rather risk you saying something hurtful than to have you avoid me.”
The princess’s breath caught. Her hooves enveloped me in an equally tight hug as she whispered, “I love you, too, little stallion. If that is what you wish, then I won’t avoid you.”
“It is. I’m big enough to take it,” I replied.
Princess Luna leaned back to peer down at me. Her smile was soft and she just shook her head. “It is hard to see you that way, but I’ll try.”
That struck me as a little odd, but I dared not ask. Slowly, I drew back and said, “Now, let me go get you an appropriate dinner. I don’t know anything about magic, but I know working out. That requires food.”
“Very well. Find me something sweet for dessert, please.”
I smiled. “Of course, Princess.”
☾
In a city without direct sunlight, it was amazing how time simply slipped through my hooves. Princess Luna spent most of her days in the library studying. I spent most of mine in Moonlit Star’s courtyard doing the same. During the evenings, we’d meet up with the guards and play a few games to keep morale up.
Morale, as far as the squad went, was high. The princess was still sad, and I still felt guilty, but with each passing day, time seemed to ease both of our ailments. It wasn’t long before the two of us were no longer passing ships in the night. We were almost back to normal.
To avoid thinking too much about what I had done, I kept my focus on the Knights of the Moon. It is amazing how much a pony can accomplish in three weeks when left to her own devices.
I’d repeatedly worked through both of the new books I’d borrowed and was still internalizing all of the knowledge. It was fascinating that ancient ponies would spend so much time and effort dedicating themselves to their profession.
Each book was thoroughly detailed and brilliant. High Marshal Moonglaive had been a genius and certainly ages ahead of his time. His training regimen could be followed without an instructor if necessary. It almost put the Royal Guard to shame. He’d ensured that as long as these books existed, so too could his order. They were a priceless treasure for certain.
I’d been so engrossed into the books that I’d been surprised when the princess announced it was time to go. Two more weeks had melted away. On our last day in Haven, I returned the third book, kept the fourth, and picked up the first and fifth. Moonlit Star, if she even noticed, didn’t seem to mind.
Now we were almost to Canterlot, and the princess and I were sitting together in the back of the lead chariot.
She looked over at me and asked, “Are we prepared for the Summer Faire in Ponyville? I’m looking forwards to that. I could use a happy change of pace.”
“Yes, Princess. The rest of the Guard will have been back as of a day or two ago. Once we’re home we’ll be one big family again. Just like normal. I’ve got everything settled out. The only business that is truly left is to promote Iridescence and find a sergeant for alpha squad.”
“Do you have any favorites?” she asked.
I lowered my voice so that the others wouldn’t hear us. “I think it is important she picks or, at least, has most of the input, since she will be the section sergeant. I do have some ponies in mind, yes, but I want to see where she is at.”
Princess Luna chuckled softly. “Shining Armor gave you the same test, did he not?”
“That he did.”
“You are wise to emulate him,” she replied before turning towards me. “I did not see you much during the day these last weeks.”
“I did not want to disturb your studies or hover over Miley. I kept myself busy.” Certainly not a lie.
The alicorn’s brow lifted and she asked, “May I ask with what?”
“Reading mostly. There is a collection of books by a pony named Moonglaive in the library. They’re fascinating.” Also not a lie, though not the whole truth.
Princess Luna’s eyes drifted off and then her brow furrowed. “Moonglaive? That name is familiar. Should I know this Moonglaive?”
That was something I had not considered when I set out to be vague about my activities. For all I knew, Moonglaive was alive when Princess Luna was a young alicorn, or perhaps a unicorn. “It is possible, Princess. It isn’t clear to me when he was alive. He doesn’t write about himself. He was a soldier, like me.”
“I see. Why am I not surprised that you would take interest in the books written by an ancient soldier,” she said with a smile. “No doubt getting all the more prepared for our next wargame.”
“I’m nothing if not predictable, Princess. And I most certainly do look forwards to a game. It has been a while since we’ve played. Most of my tactics have been utilized in Airship Armada against Runic these days. I’m a far better field commander than admiral.”
The princess grinned. “I’ll note that in your file. I should paint up some additional ponies.”
“That would certainly be fitting.”
“You could paint one of me,” came Willowy’s voice from behind us.
I turned to look back at her. “Assistants rarely take to the battlefield.”
“I go where Princess Luna goes,” she replied resolutely.
“I wish you two would be friends,” Princess Luna said. She then added, “I would be happy to paint a figure to look like you, Willowy.”
Willowy stuck her tongue out at me. “Thank you, Princess.”
Softly, I cleared my throat and muttered, “I’ll have to see if they have stats for civilian ponies that wander onto the field.”
“What was that?” Willowy asked with narrowed eyes.
“Nothing, nothing at all,” I replied before poking my head out of the window to watch Equestria go by. We were close to home now.
A few more hours went by before we were over Canterlot and making our landing at the palace.
“Welcome back, sir,” Iridescence said once we touched down in the courtyard and unloaded.
“Thanks, and I suppose welcome back to you, too. How was training?”
“Why don’t we talk about it in your office once we’re done here?” she replied.
That didn’t bode well. “Alright. Is everypony back and reported in?”
She nodded. “Yes, sir, we’re all back and ready for the faire.”
“Good.” I left her a moment to go over to where Miley was supervising alpha squad’s unloading. “Once the chariots are unloaded, you’re all on leave for the next thirty-six hours. Be ready for the faire. After that, a week of leave. Before you go, I want all of your talismans in my office. No taking them home!”
Miley perked up at that and shouted, “You heard the lieutenant. As soon as we finish this, we get time off! So hurry up!”
There was some chuckling but the guards did get back to it with additional vigor.
I let them be and headed towards the palace. “Come along, Sergeant,” I said as I passed Iridescence.
When we got to my office, I was stunned. My desk was covered in files. So was my chair and the floor in front of it. “What in Equestria happened in here?”
“I don’t know! It wasn’t me. Maybe Sunny? She’s been twitchy lately,” Iridescence replied.
Twitchy, that was a good way to put it. I checked out the first file on my desk. It was a Royal Guard record. Some stallion out of Cloudsdale.
I sighed. “Alright, I’ll figure out this mystery later. Close the door.”
Iridescence did so and then took her helmet off. Her magic then removed mine.
With a skeptical look I said, “If you failed, taking my helmet off isn’t going to spare you from my disappointment and stern language.”
The mare stared at me for a moment with a meek look. Then she cracked a smile and started bubbling, “It was amazing, Silent Knight! The whole place was held just miles from the most beautiful beach I’ve ever seen. Every night we went out together and just spent time as a couple.”
She swept closer and held her hooves to her chest as she continued, “No responsibilities, no little sisters, no princesses. Just us. Each day was a chance for us to really get to know each other, and it just clicked.”
“I’m glad,” I replied, still wanting confirmation that they had attended class.
Iridescence hugged me. “Thank you for setting it up. It was a wonderful gift. Silent Knight, it finally happened, she opened up to me. The wall she’d put up after Caramel Mint finally came down some. It was like we were a real couple instead of just… I don’t know, dating.”
“I’m still glad,” I repeated.
“We ate out, we relaxed, we swam, we made love on the beach.”
“What! Why would you tell me that?” I gasped as I pushed her back.
She turned red. “I’m sorry, I got carried away. Totally not appropriate. Still… thank you.”
I rubbed my eyes with my hooves, trying to get that concept out of my head. “You’re welcome. Now, please tell me you two actually went to class.”
“Of course we did! We both passed.”
“Thank goodness for that,” I replied before going to my desk and opening the top drawer. It was full of files. I opened the next one. More files. The bottom drawer I always kept locked, somehow not locked and full of files. “This is a joke,” I mumbled before digging around and finally finding the wooden box I was looking for.
I picked my helmet up, slipped it on, and offered the box to her. “Sergeant Iridescence, in recognition of the fact you successfully completed your Advanced NCO course, your time in service, and on your merits, I hereby issue you the field promotion to first sergeant. Congratulations.”
She smiled and accepted it. “Thank you, sir. I’m surprised you didn’t want to go through the standard process.”
“Who has time for that? I’ll take care of that later.”
Iridescence nodded, pulled her old rank pin off, and replaced it with the new one.
“Now, as your first official duty, I want you to find a new sergeant for alpha squad. Somewhere in this office is a list of names. Which technically means your first duty is to find the list. Then find the sergeant. Then the last duty.”
“What is the last duty?”
“Never, for the rest of my time alive, say the words ‘make love’ to me again in any context related to my sister.”
Iridescence grinned brightly and replied, “Yes, sir! Understood.”
“Good, now find the list in this mess and, while you’re at it, clean this up. I’m going to go fight with Sunny over making it,” I said before trotting around the mess and out the door.
“You’re taking advantage of this situation,” I heard her call after me. Yes, yes, I was. Rank has its privilege.
When I reached Princess Celestia’s wing and headed to the admin hall, I found Sunny’s door wide open but the office was pitch black inside.
“Sunny?” I called into the dark office. The unicorn lanterns were out and the shades had been drawn over the windows. “Hello?”
“No appointment, no commander!” came her voice from the darkness.
I took two steps in and said, “Sunny, it’s me. I’m back and here to help.”
The lamp on her desk flipped on, revealing a tired-looking yellow-and-orange mare. “Oh, Silent Knight. I remember you.”
My eyes rolled and I flipped the light on. She hissed at me. I grumbled, “Yes, you do remember me. I’m the pony that is going to take some of your workload. Assuming you’re not pretending to be so crazy that I relieve you for being unfit.”
“Is it working?” she asked.
“Not really.”
Sunny shrugged. “It was worth a shot. Glad you’re home.”
“Me too. What is the deal with all the files in my office? Is that something you need me to do?”
She blinked and looked confused. “No idea. That wasn’t me. But more importantly, you’re all set for the Summer Faire?”
“Looks like it, yes. Is there anything else?”
She waved a hoof. “There are a few things, but they can keep until after the faire. I started Iridescence’s paperwork for you. She’ll be on the selection list.”
That was a surprise. “Thank you. I went ahead and gave her a field promotion for now, but that will be a lot easier.”
“Yeah, it always is,” she replied.
I started to turn away before I remembered. “Hey, I don’t remember if I mentioned it when I got back, but Crystal Wishes and I got engaged. I was hoping, when it came around to the time to discuss a wedding, you’d lead the Arch of Sabres.”
Sunny’s head tilted and her eyes went wide. “First, let me say I’m flattered. Second, you just casually mention you’re getting married? Like it’s just this normal thing? No, you didn’t mention that!”
I shrugged. “Ponies get married all the time. You find the right pony, fall in love, get married.”
Sunny rubbed her forehead, muttering, “Oh yeah, it’s just that simple.”
That was sarcasm. Sarcasm from Sunny who is usually nothing but sugar and sunbeams. “Is something wrong?”
Quickly, she shook her head. “No, I’m really sorry, Silent Knight. I’m happy for you. I would love to lead the Arch. I’m surprised you’re asking me and not Russet, though.”
“Russet would be good, too, but he may end up in the wedding, and I also wanted to show you that I do actually appreciate you. And if you think she can get the sabre high enough, I’d like Azurite to be part of it too.”
Sunny stared at me and then burst out laughing. Really hard, in a kind of unhinged way. I closed the distance to her desk and peered at her.
The golden mare kept laughing and waved a hoof at me. “High enough…” She gasped. “Cause she’s short.”
Azurite was the littlest adult pony I’d ever seen. She was even smaller than Miley which said a lot. I didn’t want a sabre at eye level. “Yeah… I’m serious, though.”
Sunny kept giggling a while before finding her voice. “She’s a unicorn, Silent Knight. She’ll just levitate it.”
Ah, magic, right. I felt my face flush. “Or she could levitate it.”
That only set Sunny into another fit of laughter. It really hadn’t been that funny.
I waited for her to get some semblance of control before asking, “So you’ll do it?”
“Of course! I’ll need four more names, though.”
“Right, I’ll have to think on that. We have time, though.”
“Okay, well, if you come up short I’m sure we can find somepony that knows you well enough,” she said before grinning wide. “Come up short? Get it!”
She was starting to look looney, so I circled her desk and pulled her helmet off. She swatted at me the whole time.
“Quit it!”
“Just making sure you’re okay!” I said, pressing my hoof against her forehead. It was a normal enough temperature. Honestly, I didn’t do that great during the field medic portion of my training. Bandage a wound, sure. The other stuff, not so much.
Sunny gave me a light push and replied, “I’m fine. Just a bit punchy.”
“Alright, why don’t you call it a day? I’ll take over for you.”
“Yeah… you know what, that sounds good actually. I could use some sleep.”
I nodded and stepped out of her way. “That sounds smart. Maybe come in late tomorrow, too. I’ve got this.”
“Maybe I will,” she replied, heading for the door. When she got there, she stopped and looked back at me. “Silent Knight?”
“Yes?”
“Have you ever felt trapped?”
“Trapped? How do you mean?”
Sunny shrugged. “You know, like you make a decision, thinking it was the right one. Then you make another one based on that and then another and another. Eventually, you’ve made so many decisions you’re stuck on that path and there is nowhere to go but forwards. Do you know what I’m saying?”
Our eyes met and I stared at her a moment. Clearly, taking on both House Guards, the palace, and everything else was starting to get to her. Not that I blamed her. Princess Celestia was always busier than Princess Luna.
At the same time, I knew exactly what Sunny was saying. It seemed like that I was on a path with only one conclusion. It was something I was actively trying not to think about.
“Yeah, Sunny. I actually do,” I replied softly.
“It kind of sucks,” she mumbled.
My head bobbed in agreement. “Kind of, yeah. Might be for the best, though.”
“Might be. Might not be.”
Silence fell between us. She didn’t seem ready to leave and I wasn’t sure what to say to her. I finally smiled and offered, “You’re a really strong pony. You’ve been doing this longer than me and, in the face of everything, you’re always positive. If anypony can figure out how to escape the trap, it will be you. Just keep at it a little longer and I’m sure it will work out. Okay?”
“Okay. Thank you, Silent Knight. Really, I mean that.”
“Sure, Sunny. Get some sleep?”
“I will,” she said before letting herself out.
With Sunny gone, I decided to stay late to keep an eye on the palace. That, and if I was going to get any work done the next day, I had to figure out all of the files.
When I got back to my office, they were slightly sorted. A note was sitting on top that read, ‘Found the list, I’m going to delegate this to somepony else. Learning!’
That pony would be me. If I was going to work, I needed some semblance of order in my office. That meant getting these files where they needed to be, so I started to collect them, organize categories, and settle files into them.
From outside my office, I heard hoof falls. They were a little quieter than normal. Recognizing ponies I knew by how they walked was starting to become normal to me, thanks to Tranquil Dusk’s tutoring. These belonged to Steel Wings.
“Oh, sir. You’re back and in your office,” he said without the usual firmness in his gravelly voice.
“Yes, Chief, I’m back,” I said over my shoulder.
“I was hoping to talk to you before you saw this,” he muttered.
That gave me pause. I turned to look at him. “You did this?”
“Yes, sir. You said pull files. I pulled files. Uh… well, Crimson, Tranquil, and I pulled files.”
My ear flicked. “Chief, they can’t pull files. They don’t have any clearance to do so.”
“Yeah… so I sort of thought we didn’t want anypony knowing we were pulling files and looking at these ponies. You know, so they couldn’t track us. So we… well, you see, it was a mission.”
I closed my eyes. “Chief. Please tell me that you didn’t sneak into the archives, steal all of these files, and then hide them in my office.”
“Alright, I won’t tell you that,” he replied.
“Chief, this is a screw up.”
“I know, sir.” For once, his tone was humble. There was no cockiness or arrogance. Just the resignation that this was, in fact, a huge mistake. “We hid them here until you got back. We… well, I made this mistake. I’m not good at this sneaky stuff. I was hoping you’d know what to do.”
“Did you find any good candidates?” I asked as I tried to figure out how I was going to fix this.
“Yes, sir. Several, actually. I figured we could look at the mission plan and weed it down to a smaller group.”
“Alright. Any chance you’ve talked Crimson and Tranquil out of this?”
He shook his head. “No, I’m afraid Crimson’s head is full of fairy tale nonsense and hers is full of misguided loyalty. Talking can’t dissuade them. Those are the kind of ponies that get killed in this sort of thing so I’ve been riding them hard. Safely, but hard.”
“Good, keep that up. Where are the files for the ones you liked?”
He motioned to my filing cabinet. “There.”
I actually chuckled. “Of course. And the rest of these?”
“Hidden in plain sight. Nopony would be stupid enough to steal a ton of records and leave them out for everypony to see, and if anypony found them here you had a rock-solid alibi.”
That was very clever, actually. “Who came up with that?”
“As much as it pains me to say, Crimson. Not that I mind him having ideas. It is just… well, sir, he read it in a comic book. A comic book!”
“Of course he did. Alright, Chief, thank you for letting me know. I’ll sort this out. They’re not so much stolen as incorrectly borrowed. Keep up the training. I’ve got a busy few days and then I’ll join you.”
“Yes, sir. Good luck, sir.”
Good luck, indeed. I was going to need it.
The palace finally settled itself out just before sundown. It was a far longer day than I normally worked but it helped Sunny and I had a lot to do. The whole time, her question about being trapped kept trying to force itself to the forefront of my mind.
That was not what I wanted, so I just kept myself as busy as I could and hoped it would go away. Once all the work was done, it started to worm its way back up, so I had to move on.
On the way home, I stopped by Runic’s shop to see him. He was, not surprisingly, out with Miley, and Rossby wasn’t the kind of pony who liked to talk, so I just casually checked the drop, grabbed the information in it, and let myself out.
In the safety of crowded streets where nopony would pay a random guard any mind, I took a quick look through what Maya had left me. The first thing I saw was a piece of paper with crisp, nondescript typewritten letters on it.
Package is on the boat. Will personally observe it once it arrives and report when the best time to pick it up arises. Be ready.
My hackles rose. This was going to happen. Our mission was no longer the fevered dream of a broken, bitter pony. It was real. Alastair was going to be in Equestria, hiding out and thinking he was safe. After all, who would look for him here?
I shoved the documents into my saddlebags and started to march forwards. I needed to get to Crystal’s condo. She could calm the thoughts swirling in my head.
There was no way he’d surrender. This would be a fight to the death. I was going to have to face him and kill him.
I wasn’t sure that was what I wanted anymore. What right did I have to take these ponies with me and put them at risk? How could I live with myself if I got one of them killed? At least Lavender and the others had known the risks.
What I wanted was irrelevant now since the machine was already in motion. Maya had gone to great lengths to make this happen and Alastair was going to be here. All of the pieces were on the board, and there was a mission that needed to be completed.
How could I explain that to the princess, or Crystal? That this mission was necessary? There would be no way they could understand. Princess Luna would be so disappointed in me. And Crystal… I couldn’t think about what she would say.
By the time I reached the door to her condo, I was wound up tight. Too wound up to think straight. My hooves trembled with a mix of rage and anxiety. Couldn’t I just walk away, get married, and have a quiet life? Why couldn’t I? Hadn’t I earned it?
That wasn’t what Knights did though. That wasn’t what Stratus would have done. Always put the mission first, Son. Never give up until it is complete. On the battlefield only one pony gets to walk away. Alastair doesn’t get to walk away. Not this time. Not again.
Calm down, Silent Knight. I stood outside the condo and tried to take long, deep breaths. They weren’t helping. None of the things the doctors had taught me in the hospital helped. What did they know, anyway? A soldier is tough. A soldier is hard. They don’t survive something like that and then get weak. They get stronger from the experience. Focus on the mission, soldier!
I tried to drive the swirl of emotions deep within me. Bury them for later. It wasn’t working, though; all I could see was the smug look he’d given me when he’d broken my wing. He’d killed my ponies. He murdered them. He murdered Alton and his own kind, for what?
“FOR WHAT?!”
My hoof slammed against the decorative column outside of Crystal’s condo. The plaster shattered under the force. How could I consider backing out? This wasn’t vengeance or revenge. No, not in the least. This was retribution! Righteous retribution and justice!
I stood there panting. All I could see through the haze of pain in my foreleg were the flag-draped coffins. No turning back. No turning around. There was one path. One path left. One pony walks off the battlefield and Alastair was no pony. He was a monster that loomed over me.
To my side, I heard a soft gasp. “Silent Knight. Are you okay?”
Crystal was in her doorway, a look of shock and confusion on her face. And something else. The worst possible thing: fear.
My jaw was clenched tight. I hadn’t realized it. Our eyes met and the anger started to drain out of me. I could never look at her and be angry. “I…”
More of the plaster on the column gave in to gravity and fell to the floor.
I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I was angry. It was a stupid thing to do. I’ll pay for it.”
Crystal held out a hoof to me. It trembled slightly. “Okay. It’s okay. Come inside. You can tell me what’s wrong.”
No, I couldn’t. She’d never understand. Crystal wasn’t a warrior and she was certainly a better pony than this. She deserved a better pony than this.
I took her hoof and let her lead me inside. My head fell. Maybe she wouldn’t notice. Maybe she would never figure it out and we could stay together.
That would certainly be the preferable path but, like Sunny, I was trapped. There was only one way left to go.
Three of Diamonds begins right around this time: My Trip To The Faire
Crystal's Wishes Companion Chapter: Brought to Light
If you are enjoying this story, please consider taking a look at Crystal and my's website QuillnBlade.com for extra content such as mini stories, Q&B AU wiki, and special rewards for the awesome folks who support our Patreon. We have monthly art give aways, a Q&B Discord RPG, a several other fun gifts for patrons.
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Oh, geez the ending. It's all starting to take it's toll on Silent now.
Ah, and I see what you meant last chapter by your plan for Luna's reaction. Nice little hint of realism in the mixed emotions dulling the severity, and then Luna getting hit by the full brunt of what happened once she comes down off the excitement. Objection retracted.
It'll be interesting to see how Crystal helps him through this next bit—doubtful she takes "I'm fine" for an answer if he tries that play.
Wow. That is intense. I wonder what is going to happen in the next chapter. Great job. Good luck.
This is getting critical.
Everything that is going on, every single scene that is shown here, it is all piling up on Silent Knight. A drop after a drop, a grain of sand after a grain of sand... The stallion has grit, he has valor and he has honour, but his heart is grasped by rage and his mind filled with vengeance... And you cannot embark on a mission of this magnitude with an emotional anchor. Killing is a business cold and... pragmatic.
... his failure might cost him more dearly than anyone thinks.
Do your worst, friend. You're doing your best so far.
The feels... There were a lot.
Crystal's going take Silent's anger the wrong way, especially if he doesn't tell her the reason why.
~Melly~
Stealing files... for shame! rofl
And the rage is real.
B-b-but, Azu said she's bigger than Miley!
Sunny is having some problems too and all I can do is think about what's wrong with her or in her life, instead of SK whose path we seem to know already.
I wonder how the files will get back?
Oh boy, on the edge indeed. But what does Silent Knight care, it is only one more acid belching chain saw to keep in the air.
:silentknight: Wait a moment princess, I am not sure if I understand your meaning and if I do, what about Crystal?
:luna: Most have forgotten the old ways, but not I, she shall be a most welcome addition.
six words, and that went waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy to far
how big is this column exactly?
holy hell. silent is really having second thoughts isn't he?
I hope he at least explains as much as he can to crystal so she won't get any wrong ideas.
I really hope he doesn't get found out, especially after the fact, that will probably result in a court martial, with a possible life sentence (just guessing)
6335995 I'm glad you liked the ending. I wanted it to have a huge punch. Up until this point the cars have been on the chain pulling to the top of the hill. 30, in my mind, is the top of the hill. We know what happens next.
Much appreciated. I thought Luna came out well. It was harsh writing the thing about his dad but that is how it goes sometimes when we're hurt.
6336020 Thank you thank you! InTense is the name of the game for a little while :D
6336070 Yes it is. We're at the top of the hill and it looks like there is only one way left to go. Hang on to the railings!
6336086 It was a very feelsy chapter for sure! Goal achieved!
6336123 He had to get them somehow!
6336147 Miley said she was bigger! Miley is bigger :) Azurite is tiny, tiny.
6336177 Oh you! Polyandry isn't for everypony! Or is it polygamy in this case? Those terms don't work great for same sex couples!
And now, the Three of Diamonds cover:
i.imgur.com/eKk9FgV.png
By Potates-Chan
6336297 'Better not have gotten them from my office, Lieutenant.' ~WP :rofl:
6336297 Yeah, I think the unintentional shot at his dad helped show the raw emotion. Honestly, it's a lot better than what I originally envisioned and mentioned to you—both here and in messages.
6336297 *actually checks facts this time*
Welp, you're right. I dunno why I felt that it was Azurite who said it.
6336255 Yes it was. Very TMI! The column wasn't huge or anything. It was decorative.
As far as the outcome, it can range. Obviously he'd lose his commission and he'd be dishonorably discharged. He is using his position to create an off the books, unauthorized, military unit. If they go through with it and kill Alastair it gets a bit more hazy. Alastair is an enemy of the state and a soldier so it wouldn't be "murder." There would be some jail time though.
6336300 How would you even know!
6336329 Well thank you! I really appreciate that praise.
6336341 Totally okay. Miley was just being contrary ;D
6336371 'I'm in .... intelligence. It's my job to know.' rofl
Things are getting intense. Silent Knight really needs help but he feels trapped and unable to tell anyone. This is very bad.
As we approach the conclusion of the gryphon arc, we see things starting to come to head. Including Silent's conflicting moral sense and thirst for (poorly justified) vengeance. Oh, now would be the time to duck down, as it seems the massive shitstorm is making a turn for the Equestrian Fan Emporium.... I can't wait to see this!
In the end honesty with those you love and trust is the best choice, to do otherwise is an insult to you and them. Silent has more more integrity than most, he'll have to be honest with both of the main mares in his life and just take the judgement they render with the stoic resolve we know him for.
hah! luna misunderstood what type of love silent knight meant.hah! both screwed up.
Good chapter! The suspense is killing me. Why you do this Anzel?
6336418 Yes he is. He is pushing forward without anypony to hold his hoof.
6336434 Indeed! With the package on the way it seems the days are numbered for when this will all come to a head.
6336441 A very valid point. Keeping this sort of thing from those your love is very hard. It takes a strong pony to fess up though.
6336451 How do you mean? I just want to make sure I'm tracking :D
6336457 You know that is how I do! I promise though, it should be a fun ride down!
I'm still not entirely sure how to feel about the path Silent's chosen. As much as Alastair needs to be brought down, I think Silent's not the one who should be doing it.
But he's also in a situation that I have never been, and I have a perspective that he doesn't; I can't just tell him that ostensibly getting closure for those in the past is only going to hurt those in the present. Really, he's picked the wrong group of ponies to focus on. It's actually kind of upsetting that he's shown longstanding, low level grievances against his father, yet he still justifies major life decisions by the things his father did.
Then again, emotions are almost specifically not rational.
6336589 I have to say I'm extremely flattered that you're having those feelings. That is precisely what I was going for. We can all see it but Silent can't. We also can't see it like he can. There is supposed to be tension between us and him for sure.
6336603
We can. The problem is that we also see so much more.
Pretty much everything I've seen about long-awaited revenge tells me that Silent is just not the kind of person who can really live with what he's trying to do. And what he's doing may also remove the support network he will probably need afterward. I don't think he'll honestly be able to handle the consequences.
Honestly, I'm hoping that the Elements will be there waiting for Alastair. One of the other ponies in Twilight's official entourage (Maya, though she never says so) will approach Silent and say:
"Good, you showed up. The Princess will be properly protected while she deals with this. What? You thought you would be handling this personally? Hardly. This is an international security issue and that means her."
6336622 You're hitting on everything I'm ever! So much! All of the tensions and strings. =D
I more meant we can't see it fully through Silent Knight's lense. Although maybe we can.
I think you meant fourth
6336657 Ah but in this case, I didn't! ;D (And we'll see why soon).
6336371 still, one does not simply punch any plaster column down.
silent really needs to go big or go home. it would not do for him to hesitate and get shot down right as he's about to finish the mission
(for some reason I started hearing your name as 'anzel pony' in my head, gofigure)
Ah finally Silent Knight feeling some sort of backlash for everything he put himself in :)
6336483
And it will all end in explosions of one kind or another.... Temper for sure, but other explosions are a definite possibility.... *evil laughter*
6336657
Bat ponies.
It's not revenge you will visit on Alistair, Silent Knight, nor justice. No, what you will bring to his doorstep will be something else entirely...
bit.ly/1PA7Bh7
You know, this is the fifth re-write of this comment, because I want to articulate exactly what I mean.
I want Silent Knight to be the one to kill Alistair, and not in some self-defence caveat that lets him "not mean to" in the last second. I want him to commit murder.
I want this because it puts Silent on a true journey of redemption. A true journey to understand whether he is a good pony, and what that truly means. If he cops out, if he flinches and lets some pony else do the deed, or does the deed by panic or accident, then he's "not really a murderer," and gets the sort of ethical blank check we always see in stories.
I don't want this story to softball this. I want to know Silent Knight is enough of a character, enough of a living being, that the story will allow him to commit an atrocity. That it will let him cross the moral event horizon, and try his best to come back from that.
Really, it's the case of a Clockwork Orange. Is Silent Knight truly good, if the story doesn't allow him to be bad?
6336667 We'll have to see how Silent Knight handles it, if it gets there. By that message though we'll be finding out sometime soon.
6336690 He's been feeling it, it has just been subtle though. Now it is coming to the forefront.
6336741 That is more or less accurate, yes ;D
6336827 Silent Knight is the Punisher in SoaRG!
6336967 Only time will tell. I'd say don't be bummed out until the final current has fallen.
It will be interesting to see Crystal's point of view on this chapter...
Will she be supportive? Will she be disgusted? Maybe both, maybe none, but only time will tell
This "should I or shouldn't I" dilemma actually rings true, considering that equestria and the world in general are peaceful and it's questionable but not impossible for alastair to threaten them again. This is hard to do in pony fiction because if it happens after a war then of course it should be done. There were a ton of 90s books in human land about quasi legal pre emptive strikes and special ops but they had to make up villains and make up red tape to disregard. Nowadays everyone knows the military can just do whatever and does so too much to too many people but here it's actually a dicey question.
If I were to say something to Silent, I'd tell him "there's always a choice." Famous words from a fictional hero, Batman, as well.
6336967 I totally hear what you're saying. And to be clear, I'm not in anyway passing on responding due to the content. Your points are excellent.
To avoid any spoilers I'm not really going to comment any further other than to say that the writing is complete and we'll all see it together :D
6337084 I'm looking forward to it too. She'll actually be caught up pretty soon for sure.
6337115 It is certainly a dilemma for both him as a character and me as a writer. I'm a big believer in my pony stuff being generally happy. Of course generally happy and "always" happy aren't the same thing :D
6337162 That is the trouble. We know things that no other character does. There aren't any ponies there to tell him =\
It seems Silent Knight still has some issues he needs to sort out. He mentioned how strong soldiers are strong and tough. Or how they don't go through trials and tests and weaken...well he's wrong. A soldier might be strengthened through trials, but that doesn't mean they don't come out form it undamaged. A sign of strength is seeking help from a friend or family member or significant other. He is not in this alone so he doesn't need to go through this alone. I know he needs to keep some things secret, but I'm sure there is some way he can let off some steam without jeopardizing his plan.
Sorry, I just needed to say that. I guess that was my inner airman talking. I can't say I went through the same thing, but I can understand how he must feel overwhelmed and trapped like Sunny. ZOMG is right also. Crystal can help him. Even if he tries the "I'm fine" BS, she isn't going to let that go so easily.
On another, less serious note...I can't help but think that the chief putting the files in SK's office is like a cop busting a guy for possession because someone else asked them to "hold this for me"...
There is one more thing, Crimson and Tranquil are starting to get a little irritating what with their insistence on being involved in SK and the chief's off the books mission. The chief was right about his descriptions for those two. Crimson is going off some glorious type of hero stories while Tranquil is awfully loyal to a cause she hasn't much business in. Without much combat experience, they are going to get their asses handed to them come this mission.
6337175 I hear ya. Thanks for catching the edited version!
6337250 That is precisely the theme I was going for. A lot of service people suffer in silence. He isn't the first, nor the last that will have those thoughts. The real question is, will he get the help he needs?
6337264 No worries :D
Warhammer 40k Mini reference im guessing?
Anyway I can see why Luna took it abit hard about the loss of Midnight Peak to the dragons, and I can see why Silent is starting to worry about the mission considering that others are getting involved. I think he sees it as a failure on his own part to not be able to do this himself. I think him breaking the column outside Crystals house is a warning sign that the stress is getting to him. Anyway a good chapter. cant wait for the next as always
6337162
But just as there's always a choice, there's always a consequence. There's a lot riding on Silent Knight going after Alistair; a lot of resources have been tied up in it.
But the thing is, what Silent Knight is, really, is right there in his name: He is a knight, and a knight is so much more than just some guy with a sword. A knight is to serve as an example not so much of what is, but of what could be. A knight — insofar as we see here — is a leader, but also a servant. A knight is a protector: The Knights of the Moon certainly served as protectors from the dangers and horrors of old. Sometimes, that meant killing, and sometimes, that meant dying, but that was the burden of the knight.
A true knight, even a silent one, does these things not for themselves, but so that others don't have to.
But a true knight is also clever. Alistair must be neutralized; that is unavoidable. But he does not necessarily have to die.
I wonder.
SK has darkness with in himself.
SK willing to get those around him hurt (crystal)/killed (the twins) for his revenge.
He buoys himself up by repeating the mantra his father told him.
Everyone thinks The Darkness is going to strike at Luna again.
Luna is learning, growing, and much better mentally than last time.
Luna implicitly trusts SK.
When the fight with Alistair goes down, the twins get in trouble, SK is only able to save one.
Then a voice "I will give you the power. Save the nox, kill the gryphon, complete your mission."
The Darkness posses SK.
Silent Knightmare vows to exterminate all the gryphons forever.
And thus Luna is rendered vulnerable by watching her first guard/friend/Knight of the Moon fall into The Darkness.
Self doubt and self blame on account of not having seen it.
It could happen.
I wonder that Alistair will not be the smug captain he was but rather a beaten bird wondering where his life went so wrong almost pitiable.
Oh my....
Oh Moon and Stars above...
Be Brave, Silent.
Be brave...
*Also, congrats on 555 likes, dude!
6337960 OH SHIT! #plottwist did not see that comin. Some clever thinking there and half of me wants it to come true... But only because the other half of me doesnt want it to come true. We shall see if your musings are correct...
It is not revenge.
It is not justice.
It is not fighting against monster.
It is kill or be killed.
It is making sure that specific threat is no more.
Well, huge amounts of discussion on this chapter. That makes me extremely happy! Especially considering how many of you are picking up so many of the themes I've been weaving into the story. Silent Knight is struggling for sure. Stay tuned, I can promise you the next few weeks are going to stay very interesting!
6338749 That is likely Silent Knight's view on this, yes. Alastair is a soldier and they're doing battle. Vengeance and retribution are very different things ;D
6338516 Thank you :) Very cool milestone! The question in this case is, what is the brave thing to do? :D
6337960 Very interesting ideas! As always, to avoid any sort of spoiler I'll just smile and nod in a non-committal way. All I can say is that the writing is complete. It is just waiting to be revealed!
6337404 Well said!
6337384 Generic miniatures war game :D