"Bam! Just like that!" A tipsy patron slapped the tabletop and motioned with his mug towards the poster plastered against the nearby wall. "She summoned a gigantic centipede! Straight from the earth!"
"No way!" The stallion across from him in the hazy, dim-lit tavern sipped from his glass, belched, and gestured. "I heard it was a herd of manticores! Just like the ones that took out that batallion of Enforcers out west where she emerged!"
"I'm serious! It was a giant centipede! Or a millipede! Or some other underground demon spawn bug thing!" The patron hiccuped and pointed once more at the wanted poster, where several stallions from all walks of Ledomaritan life stood, crowded under flickering yellow lanternlight. Ambient violin music played over a mana-powered sound system that crackled through the crowded bar. "I'm telling you, they should totally raise the bounty on that winged pony! Twenty thousand of the Queen's bits isn't enough to try lassoing that kind of fugitive crap from out of the sky!"
"Heck, I wouldn't walk a mile for two of the Queen's bits?"
"Ohhhhhhhh I see what you did there."
"Hah hah hah! Hey barkeep! Another mug of Antelope Brew—!"
"Word is out that a posse is forming in Blue Nova," the drunken stallion said with a smiling slur. "They're gonna grab a zeppelin, fly south, and see if they can catch this blue vixen themselves!"
"Why such a hurry?"
"Cuz the Queen's got her Enforcers out there combing the forests for the freaky mare!"
"Stil? Even after a bunch of centipede-riding manticores nearly killed a hundred of the Queen's special guard?"
"Nah, man, it was more like two hundred!"
"Where the heck do you get all of your crappy info from?"
"Same place you do, bub! Somepony knows somepony who knows somepony who sleeps with somepony who listens to the Enforcer chatter over the manawaves! There's a friggin' horse-hunt going on in the south, and nopony wants the rest of the Confederacy to know about it! I'm telling you, whoever this winged freak is, she's gotta be super dangerous... and worth way more than the reward they're offering!"
"So, what, you going to join that posse in Blue Nova or something?"
"Heck no! I like my life too much to throw it away!"
"Yeah, you just keep saying that to the bottom of your mug."
"Heh heh heh... Hey, the Queen's not gonna get all of my coins? You know what I'm saying? Some of us just have to look out for ourselves—"
Just then, there was a flurry of cold air. The tavern door swung open, and every single soul inside the place froze upon the sight of an equine figure clad in red and black metal armor. The place turned dead quiet—even the music was cut off. With hissing steam and clanking footsteps, the armored pony marched solidly into the place.
The figure wasn't alone. With little grace, it shrugged its flank and—with a whip of a long, metal, prehensile tale—deposited a groaning stallion bound in shackles onto the floor against the front row of bar stools.
Several patrons stood up and trotted quietly away from the sight of the groaning, hoof-cupped stallion. The unfortunate soul let out a low moan and collapsed, unconscious. The bartender peered over the counter and sighed.
"Roarke, please..." The old pony beheld a tired expression reflected in the glossy surface of the armored equine's helmet. "For once, could you not toss your... your 'spoils' onto my tavern floor like yesterday's garbage?"
The air snapped from the sound of the figure's metal tail retracting into its armored flank. With a hiss of steam, it tilted its helmet over to glare at the bartender. "Just relax, Smitty." The pony's voice had a metallic ring beneath the obscuring helmet. After a heavy, resonating breath, it finished with, "In less than an hour, the Queen's Finest will be rolling by to grab this sack of Xonan-sympathizing filth, and I'll be collecting enough to pay of my tab. So make like a good breeder and give me the usual nectar."
Wincing, the bartender nodded, shuffling backwards. "Right. Sure thing, Roarke. Whatever you say, Roarke."
Leaning back against the bar, Roarke glared at everypony else at the bar. The stallion by its side stirred slightly, so it slapped him hard with a metal-laced hoofed so that he went out like a light again.
The two ponies at the table gulped and tried to ignore the armored figure. They cast each other nervous smiles as they continued their conversation.
"So, how many airships has the Council of Ledo sent after this thing?"
"Six, at least. I'm sure of that."
"All just to catch one pony?"
"This is a pony with wings that we're talking about. Can you imagine if there's a whole race of them?"
"I bet the Queen would want to make first contact before the Xonans. They'd be an exceptional edge to the war effort."
"Not to mention really flippin' scary. I mean, a mare with wings?! That just means more crap in the way!"
"Hahaha... You suppose the freak has feathers or leather?"
"You wanna know what I think?"
"What?"
"Flaming bands—like a demon!"
"I think you should just take a barrel of that stuff home and sleep with your own stupid ideas."
"I mean it! How else could she have summoned creatures of the underworld!"
All the while, Roarke was craning its neck. The figure's helmet tilted to the side. Then, with a gust of steam, it stomped forward on heavy hooves. Several drinkers stood up and got out of the bounty hunter's way. Others froze in mid-sip of their mugs, staring timidly. Golden lanternlight flickered off the polished surface of its full body armor as it approached the wall and shoved several yelping ponies aside. Leaning forward, the pony within the immaculate shell breathed deeply, studying the descriptions of the "blue-winged monstrosity" and the scant details that there were to illustrate it.
"I'm telling you," the one drunkard muttered, careening in his seat. "This is by far the most dangerous thing that's crossed our countryside since the last Xonan incursion! I honestly doubt a posse of a thousand stallions could take this sucker out!"
Roarke turned to glance at the pony. Turning back, it stared at the poster once more. A hoof reached up and snapped off the lower piece of its helmet. Steam billowed out from the metal muzzle-piece, revealing a brown chin studded in equadistant spaces with metal plugs. A pair of lips curved until they smirked devilishly.
"Hmmm..." A feminine voice hoarsely uttered. "Now this is more like it..."
Oh buck...
Steampunk bounty hunter? Yes please!
Bounty hunter has arrived. I'm thinking a cross between steel tooth and Boba Fett. This goes to show how bad rumors can get when you keep them secret. I think I'm gonna like this Roarke mare.
BADASS ENGAGED. EXECUTE TRACKING PROGRAM.
There's a whole race of them all right but only one Rainbow Dash.
The Hunt - Sepultura
RD's never getting a break, is she?
1992922 Eeenope
1992303Erm...I already figured that out...I'm on chapter 100 and something right now.
Hot damn.
Welp, this should be interesting. Since it's a female, only one of two things can happen:
A) Rainbow Dash is forced to kill her, thus producing those damn feelz that ):( loves so much.
or
B) She falls madly in love with Dashie because of her infinite swag.
Either way, fur and feathers will fly.
No push0ups this round, ):(, but you've been on a streak of that lately. Once you DO screw up...
1992857 1993157
Female* Steampunk. I'm curious if Shell will feel threatened, matriarchy being a theme and all.
you just wrote in agent Texas didn't you?
1993157
98.7% probability.
1993157
Push0ups? What the FUCK is a pushzeroups? Son, Colon might not have fucked up, but you sure as hell did. So how 'bout you give us twenty for your incompetence.
1993443
......
Son, if I reached deep, and I'm talking proctologist deep in my ass, I highly doubt that I could find a smaller shit to give about your opinions. There is most likely a fossilized microbe of pterodactyl shit out somewhere in Bum-Fuck, China that is larger than the shit I give about your opinions. If, at any time in the distant future, space aliens from the planet Uranus dig up the petrified ruins that will be what is left of your house after I come over there and skull-fuck you until you sneeze semen, and they find your rotted, dessicated corpse, and then proceed to give you an anal probe, they would most likely not be able to find a small enough shit to equal what I think of your opinions.
Have a nice day.
1993198
You know what would be hilarious/awesome? If Roarke never gets to meet Dashie, because she runs into Shell first, and they then kill each other. Ironic irony is ironic.
1993481
images.sodahead.com/polls/003307233/432123477_WaitYoumadbro_xlarge.jpeg
1993490
That there are so many factions out for the group's blood is troublesome. You are correct, though, I think the calamity of errors and clash of emotions from Shell having to compete with these factions, and Roarke in particular, would be the awesome route to go. Shell does not strike me as the type to want the help of an independent contractor, their conflict would be interesting to watch play out. Of course, there's always the dangerous possibility each group (Roarke, the Enforcers, other hunters) collides at a central point, resulting in one rather catastrophic, chaotic cacophony of violence. Whether that collision centers around Rainbow is another matter entirely.
1993443>>1993481
i356.photobucket.com/albums/oo1/KILLA388/full_metal_jacket.gif
1993532 1993549
cdn.motinetwork.net/demotivationalposters.net/image/demotivational-poster/1003/drill-sergeant-army-drill-sergeant-demotivational-poster-1269295344.jpg
1993550
Touche.
Also, for shits and giggles:
1993549 that's exactly what I was picturing in my mind as well
AS PREDICTED.
Also, with a bounty hunter in the picture, I can only surmise that this is all going to cluminate In a massive battle at some sort of crossroads, like the dark side of the world or something. Most likely involving three parties.
Stay here for a moment whilst I go and get some steamcreams
A mighty bounty hunter who is also female? Sounds like Samus Aran to me.
We better hope she doesn't have any (helpful) ties to the military here.
The "badass fighter is actually female" thing is a little cliche -- saw it coming when you used "its". Still, interested to see where this goes.
Not going to lie, I misread the title at first.
Oh and it seems I am a steampunk badflank bounty hunter.
There's only one word that can describe this:
Awesome.
It's like... a ponified Samus.
....
OH S**T.
(also, MY NAMESAKE IS MENTIONED AGAIN!!!)
woah, Roarke totally pulled a Tex from RvB.
1995627
GOD DAMMIT. I was reading through all of the comments, thinking, "Nobody has mentioned Tex, nobody has mentioned Tex, nobody has mentioned Tex," and then YOU have to go and RUIN it for me.
Grrr.
I predict foe-yay.
Daaaaaaang. Roarke sounds like a badass.
Millipede
Yeah....another nuissance
just what we needed.
(inb4shejoinstheparty)
I'm betting the next chapter has Dash doing something really stupid/goofy after all the talk that went on in the bar about her being the evil Queen of the hybrid manticore/centipede race.
And now the trio have a new pursuer (who reminds me of June from A:TLA). Could things get anymore entertaining? I think it would be best if everyone involved in this debacle all met at the same time and just duked it out in one epic clash - then at least some of the bad guys would end up attacking each other. Or maybe Shell and robo-pony will admire each other's evil badassery so much that they'll get it on. Who knows?
IIIIIt's Dashie's evaluation time!
So it appears a bounty hunter of sorts has arrived! Roarke seems to be like Steel Hoof (I think that's his name from Austraeoh) with all of her fancy gadgets. She looks to be a challenge for Dash to overcome. There'll be an epic battle for sure. These are my thoughts so far.
-MASH
Well this could be interesting. Bounty hunter coming to... bounty hunt. But honestly, I don't see how she can be that much of a threat, it could be more interesting any conflicts between this bounty hunter an the enforcers...
Onwards!
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kp6js7WwNc1qzvw5po1_500.jpg
Just sayin'. But yeah, Steelteeth is the word. Our friend and author has already proven his love for cyborg-ponies earlier. Maybe Dash will finally get that Darkstine porn scenario she was plotting out for the constable before...
1995627>>1993318INDEED.Honeytiger sees wat people did.
So now we've got a badass bounty hunter and half the Ledomaritan Defense Initiative after Dash, and on top of that, a bunch of armed civilians looking to make a quick bit.
AHA! Another character from the Poster on Imploding Colon's home page has appeared! also, according to ):(, Roarke is kind of badass.
Oh no.
No no no.
Bounty hunter? Not good.
pony samus? evil pony samus?
4279447 Evil steampunk pony samus, who i suspect (for no reason at all) shall become love interest.
4279447
Also Happy to finally someone active at this level.
It would be interesting to see Dash encounter this party. Sometimes I think about what happens to the ponies affected by Rainbow Dash, when all we receive is a passing mention.
1993481
Permission to express my undying love for you, sir?!
Hello, Tex. Been a while.