• Published 19th Oct 2012
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Eljunbyro - Imploding Colon



Bellesmith must perform experimental tasks in order to keep herself and her beloved safe.

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Princess Luna

"Come on... Come on..."

Rainbow Dash hovered back and forth like a father stallion pacing through a hospital waiting room. The moon glinted off her bangs, eyes, and hooves alike, but the glow of the pendant around her neck wasn't increasing.

"Get a signal. Get a signal, you stupid hunk of junk! Come on!"

"Maybe... uhm..." Belle stirred where she sat on folded legs besides Pilate. The couple gazed up at Rainbow Dash, worriedly observing her anxious figure. "Maybe if you flew higher up?"

"It's worked at this level before!" Rainbow Dash grunted, slapping at the Element of Loyalty with an errant hoof. "Grrrr... Maybe the Ledomexicolts did something all black magical to this thing. Unnngh... stupid world-manipulating unicorns—" Rainbow froze in mid-air, wincing. "Erm... sorry..."

Belle smiled softly. "None taken."

"Why?" Pilate mused. "I didn't hear her insult zebras."

Belle slapped him with her tail.

"Ow..."

"Or maybe..." Rainbow bit her lip as her eyes glistened with starlight. "Maybe the chaos rift finally exploded and Luna isn't there anymore!" She chewed on one of her hooves. "Or maybe Luna turned back into Nightmare Moon! Or... or... squirrels invaded from the north or something!"

"Rainbow Dash, don't fret so much!" Belle said in a soothing tone. "I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for it all. There's no need to worry. Besides, it's not like you." She paused, blinking. Belle then squinted and said, "Is it?"

"I doubt squirrels are ambitious enough to pull off a country-wide invasion."

"Pilate..."

"I should have prepared for this..." Rainbow Dash muttered, clutching herself with her forelimbs as her body dangled loosely from her flapping wings. "I should have asked Luna for some way to... I dunno... launch a magic moon fart her way that could alert her that I'm still alive or... or..."

"Maybe this is one night too early?" Belle remarked.

"Yeah." Pilate nodded. "Just because it's a full moon for us doesn't mean it's a full moon over in Eclopia."

"Equestria."

"I knew that."

"Nah... That's a good thought," Rainbow muttered. "But it's a full moon for the whole world everywhere, from what I understand. Just like it's a rising or setting sun for the whole world all at once."

"I still find it absolutely fascinating that the rulers of your home are capable of controlling the celestial bodies at will," Pilate remarked. "And yet, they never let their ambition get the better of them?"

"Huh?" Rainbow Dash glanced down.

Pilate tilted his head her way. "If Queen Ledo had even a fraction of the power as your alicorn goddesses—"

"Oh. Right. I get the picture."

"Do you, though?" Pilate's brow furrowed. "There are countless empires out there who would use such power to conquer and control. And yet, from the sound of things, your rulers seek peace above all else."

"Yeah. They're boring like that."

"Boring?!" Bellesmith made a face. "Rainbow Dash, do you have any idea how lucky you are?"

"I mean it!" Rainbow Dash shrugged. "For the longest time, I thought all they were good for was writing letters and attending tea parties! Heck, that's what I'd do if I was a princess."

"Well, if we had—"

"Then again, I'd never be caught dead becoming a princess..."

"Well, if we—"

"Princesses are overrated, if you ask me."

Belle frowned. "Are you done?"

"Sorry. Ahem. Shoot."

Belle said, "If we had tea with Queen Ledo, we'd suspect there was something wrong with her head. Besides, the Royal Matriarchs of the Confederacy have only ever attended ceremonies as part of some sort of political ploy."

"Yeesh. And just how long have you been dancing to this nutjob's tune?"

"Well..." Belle blushed and squirmed where she sat. "It's one thing to think less-than-satisfactory thoughts about one's government, but another thing altogether to act on them."

"We've trotted more distance in the last three days than we have in our entire lives," Pilate said. "I don't know if you realize that, Miss Dash. We've only ever gone where our government had allowed us."

"Yeah, well, your government sucks."

"They also protect countless ponies from crime and foreign invaders."

"At the cost of what? Freedom? Decency? Artistic expression?" Rainbow Dash shrugged. "It sucks."

"Verily, what sucketh?" The pendant around her neck glowed. "Who art thee, and how hast thou commandeered this leyline?!"

"Buh?" Belle's face contorted.

"Booyakashaaa!" Rainbow Dash bellowed, grinning a crescent moon as she tilted the glowing pendant up and nuzzled it. "Boy is it fantastic to hear your ugly-as-flank speech, your Highness!"

"We beg thy pardon? What manner of illicit communication is this?"

"It's me, Princess!" Rainbow Dash beamed. "It's Rainbow Dash!"

"Rainbow Dash?" The voice faltered, stammered. "Rainbow Dash, born in Cloudsdale?"

"No, Rainbow Dash, born in Courtneigh Love's left kidney." Rainbow Dash frowned. "Who do you think?! It's me, Luna! Element of Loyalty and Badflankery! Awesomeness personified!"

"Rainbow Dash!"

"Yes! Now you've got it!" Rainbow flew loopty-loops, cheering in the starlight. Down below, Pilate and Belle nuzzled each other, watching their companion with contentment. "Haaa-haha! How ya doin', ya looney sky goddess, you?!"

"Rainbow Dash, we... we had thought the dead..."

"Yeah, well, you wouldn't have been too far from the truth." Rainbow Dash's eyes lit up as she spun in lazy circles, smiling wider and wider. "But what matters is that I'm fine now and I owe it to these two fine specimens of radicalness. Oh! Luna! I gotta introduce you! Pssst!" Rainbow Dash squinted down at the couple. "Stripesy, Ding Dong, say hello to Princess Luna of Equestria!" She held her pendant out as far as it would dangle from her neck.

"Hello, Princess Luna of Equestria," Pilate and Belle both spoke as one, their eyes frozen in nervous expressions.

The pendant flickered back, "We greet thee, thou ponies of... erm... remarkably colorful names."

"Ehhh... their real names are boring. 'Driver the Zebra and Beauty the Unicorn.' I dunno. But what matters is that they rock my horseshoes off and I'm back in action all thanks to them!"

"Please forgive us, Rainbow Dash. We art... we art most grateful to hear of thy well-being... and..."

"Yeah...?"

"This is... this is just so alarming..."

"Don't drop the moon or nothing!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed with a wink aimed heavenward.

"We... we were almost convinced that thou hast perished. For weeks and weeks we considered informing our sister of thy passing—"

"Weeks and weeks?" Rainbow Dash blinked, her eyes wide. "Wait a second, Princess." She took a deep breath, as if about to take a mighty plunge. "H-how long have I been out of it?"

"Since the last time we communicated with thee?"

"Yeah..." Rainbow Dash gulped. "How long?"

Pilate and Belle tilted their heads up.

Eventually, the pendant flickered. "Why, we do believe it has been ten moon cycles, Rainbow Dash. We were worried beyond description for thy safety."

Rainbow Dash exhaled long and hard. She slowed her wings and lowered down to the ground, hanging her head as a soft smile lingered on her muzzle.

After a few seconds: "Rainbow Dash? Art thou still there?"

"Yes." Rainbow Dash inhaled sharply and tilted her head up, grinning. "Yes, your Majesty. I'm totally here." With a calm breath, she gazed at her two companions and exclaimed, "And boy have I got a story for you..."

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