• Published 19th Oct 2012
  • 9,031 Views, 9,515 Comments

Eljunbyro - Imploding Colon



Bellesmith must perform experimental tasks in order to keep herself and her beloved safe.

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 9,515
 9,031

PreviousChapters
Seeing Eyes

Darkness.

"Belle...?"

More darkness.

"Bellesmith?"

...

"I... I-I don't know where I am... I-I think O.A.S.I.S. is broken..."

...

"Is this Foxtaur? I... I don't know how I'm not burning. I... don't know how I'm alive..."

...

"Who's there?"

...

"Hello!?"

...

"I know that somepony is there..."

...

"Bellesmith... my beloved..."

...

"Do not give up hope, my beloved. I promise... someway, somehow... I will find you..."

...

"Belle, please, wherever you are, don't give up hope..."

...

"What matters is that... th-that we don't give up hope..."

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PreviousChapters
Comments ( 393 )

and don't panic.

2233435

I'm sorry. It must be done... "I'm not dead! I'm getting better!"

More to follow

I spoke too soon, hah.

And here we are. Wow. As promised, I will post a more in depth analysis of Shell later. For now I say what I did before: the pieces are scattered, but the game has only begun...

Now, the culminating event: we are going to do our 1-1-1 assessment. Not a true PT test, because you may not be in shape for that yet, but a rough guide to where you are. This will give me an idea of your level of fitness, and will serve as a guide in determining your physical training needs. Here's what you do:

As many push-ups as you can in one minute. Make sure you keep your back straight the whole time, go down until your upper arms are parallel to the ground, and back up till your elbows lock.

Rest for ten minutes.

As many sit ups as you can in one minute.

Rest for ten minutes.

Run one mile as fast as you can.

As much as I kid, I seriously do encourage y'all to do this and post your results. Remember, correct performance is important.

Knock 'em out!

Okay, so Belle, Pilate, Crimson, Roarke, Phoenix and Shell are still on the hunting game...
This is really really turning out to be very very interesting.

It's really sad that the characters some of us loved the most are gone now...

Can't wait for the next sequel.

I'm seeing red now. That bastard...those villagers...Eagle Eye and Josho...:twilightangry2:

I don't care what kind of sad story Shell has in his past. Any shred of sympathy or feels I had for the guy is now gone. I hope we see him again in the sequel, and I hope he suffers a painful, unimaginable demise.

At least Pilate, Belle, and Crimson are still alive.

*wakes up *

*sees 20 unread updates*

WHAT IS THIS BLACK MAGIC???????????

Well, we've come to the end already. While I loved Eljunbyro, I much prefer Austraeoh as a whole. Which did you guys like more?

2233443
'I think I'll go for a walk."

I'm so glad that there still alive!

and just think, by leaving shell alive the author has this much more time to think of an even better death for him!

Never thought I'd see a SS&IC fic close with those words. Truly, this must be the upbeat thing he's ever written.:rainbowwild:

OP was the hero of our time.

...It ends.

2233982
I do believe I like Austraeoh just a little bit more due to more world building and the peaceful flying chapters, but at the same time Eljunbyro was extremely, extremely entertaining... I was just hoping for a bit more conclusion to the Ledomare storyline by the end. Oh well, I'll be eagerly awaiting the next story.

2233982

I can't choose one over the other.

'Cause both are as one.

And stuff.

Hmph. That was quite the cataclysmic end. And a bloody cliffhanger at that. At least in Austraeoh you cleaned up all the loose ends.

It amuses me how we all predict things in the comments sections about what would happen, and then scream blasphemy when they do as if they had come out of the left field with a pack of ice-skating mongooses and danced the bolero. We all knew Zenith would fuck up, and they'd all lose out. We all knew that anyone we really liked would get killed off. We all knew Roarke would come back. And I think we all denied when Pilate died. And I know why.

You write this well enough that despite all those things, it still feels mind-blowingly intense from just the thoughts you're provoking with the description and characters' reactions. And that is a sign that you're bloody good at this shit.

The next sequel better come soon, or I will not hesitate to ask again. I'll just be watching. And waiting. Anticipating.

Shell. Shell, there are no words to describe the low-life bastard you are.

On the other hand, he has some things in common with Dashie. The most obvious of which being his fierce loyalty to his Queen and country.

And in the end we lucky ones feel nothing but pain. Pity those who have naught but emptyness.

...and now place your bets for the name of the next one, fellas.

Avalanche of updates.

Well, there's nothing to say that hasn't already been stated. The story remains open-ended. Roll on Book 3.

And now it becomes a quest for the survivors to rescue Rainbow Dash from Searo

Wow, that was a subtle sequel hook...

2234053
You mean 400 000+ words right?

No. Nononononononononononononononononononononononononononono. NO!

You better post a sequel within the week, Scolon... :pinkiecrazy::twilightangry2:

2233473
Push-ups: 37
Sit-ups: 51
Mile: 11:13 (I'm kinda slow... not built for stamina, either...)

i seriously can not wait for the sequel..your writing got so much better since Austraeoh. (not saying it was bad before, just saying its even better now!) you have set the stage with this last chapter for an epic sequel. i only wish some characters from Austraeoh would show up to help eventually. (and maybe rainbows love interest from dragon land could find a place in the story aswell, i really grew attatched to her character, Ember Speak was it?) Even if that dosent happen i cant wait for the threequel.

2235471

Not bad, not bad at all!

Seriously, that's better than most of the privates we get these days. Now I know we need to work on cardio. :rainbowdetermined2:

2233473
25 Push-ups.
37 Sit-ups
6:50 Mile

Three years of JROTC and a goal to enlist in the Army has helped with these numbers immensely :pinkiehappy:

2233982

I don't think many people will outright disagree with you, there. Austraeoh had a sense of stylistic unity that Eljunbyro often lacked, and felt more inspired by the show's universe itself than Skirts's personal brand of pulp. The Sequencing (and most of Blue Shelf in general, really) felt like a bizarre and oblique manner of plot progression that served to fill in some gaps in the backstory but otherwise spent a lot of time for relatively little payoff, whereas Austraeoh, even in between arcs, always had some feeling of progression.

I appreciated the focus on character development that Eljunbyro added to the mix, though. There isn't any moment in Austraeoh that's as powerful as hearing Dash talk to Scootaloo over Lunacom, or Eagle Eye brushing Belle's hair in the ruins, or even Dash nervily opening up to Belle and Pilate. But it felt like the story was only beginning to distinguish itself from its predecessor in that regard when, well, these last fifteen chapters happened. I wanted to believe that Eljunbyro was the fractured installment where the story fumbled a bit by introducing too much before hitting its stride for good, but that ending has completely blown that out of the water.

I'm nervous as to exactly how this will work out, but I'll hold my breath. Good luck and good writing.

2235657
Wow! Damn good time on the mile. You shave twenty second off, do it twice and you max the run!

Don't worry, I'll get you where you need to be for basic. Follow my lead, and youll be the platoon Iron Man. Though honestly, those numbers on a 1-1-1? I'd only yell at you a little bit. :pinkiecrazy:

2235695 :rainbowdetermined2: Yes, Sergeant!

and lol to the yelling bit :pinkiecrazy:

2235658
I think you're spot on with your comparative analysis between the two stories. However, I disagree on the count of progression stalling. Rather than focus on physical distance, Eljunbyro focuses primarily on character progression. Austraeoh's Rainbow Dash spent the entirety of the story blazing as quick a trail as she could without compromising her loyalty to herself and her virtue. At each location she hung around long enough to resupply and learn enough to try and impart her own brand of harmony upon the souls of the east, incidentally discovering her journey was far more complex than even she knew. Regardless, she was still running away from herself. Eljunbyro saw her shift, and saw her slow down. Her experiences at Blue Shelf literally forced empathy upon her, and the remainder of the narrative was dedicated primarily to showing her reattain that which she thought she may have lost: loyalty via friendship.

In short, Austraeoh was themed as a solo sojourn, Eljunbyro was about friendship and relationships. Bringing the "wind back to Austreaoh" was quite literally "make some friends." This is encapsulated in each story's respective finale, as Austraeoh ends with Rainbow Dash afraid of being alone, and Eljunbyro ends with the hope of being reunited.

As for the sort of abrupt pacing change, I blame the precedent of "200 chapters." I do not think that's actually a hard limit, I think it just makes symmetry easier. Whatever is next, my hunch is that it will be a sort of blend of these first two stories where we will be forced to simultaneously hold isolation and sojourn with companionship, friendship, and unity.

2233473
I hope you don't mind a delayed response. Work has kinda thrown a wrench in any workout plans for today.

2233982
I liked Austraeoh better. A lot more moving around and world building (I'm a sucker for world building). Plus, the introductory set of chapters? Pure art. So much said with no dialogue whatsoever. That's what drew me into this story in the first place.

2235769

It's all good. Just report back when your complete. :rainbowdetermined2:

That sure ended in a mess. Dash is (maybe) kidnapped, her only rescue is crippled and in no shape to fight his way to her, Belle is getting shipped to Doomsday City, Pilate is... uh... well, you just read it. Eagle Eye is dead. The only bit that anyone can feel good about is that Shell is stranded and his plans have been foiled (for now, the invincible SOB). The next installment has my full attention.

2233473
Push-ups: 60
Sit-ups: 70
1-Mile: 5:35

OORAH

2235831
Damn right! I'd expect nothing less from one of my hard-charging Devil Dog brothers! HOOAH!

Interesting parallel here...

Austraeoh consisted of RD being alone and staying loyal to her goal of reaching the Midnight Armory. It ended on a note of hopelessness and loneliness.

Eljunbyro consisted of RD getting friends and staying loyal to them. It ended on a note of hopefulness in the face of dispair, and well, not a whole lot else.

Also, a guess as to the next story name... We've had an A and now we've had an E. I think the next one up should be an I, but I wouldn't be surprised if IC gave a turn to the consonants for once.

*sees 16 chapters* Initial reaction: Yep, they're all going to die.

Now where's my sequel :flutterrage:

What a finale o.O

Still, I don't get why everyone is thinking that EE is dead. Sure, it's possible, but if Crimson can have get cut up, have his leg chopped of, survive a massive fall, not faint, drag himself out of the rapids, drag a SHIP out of the rapids before even cauterising his bleeding stump, cauterise his own wound, then pilot a freaking air-ship despite all of that, then EE can survive a fall that he was teleported out of -.-

Seriously, he was bruised and battered, but most likely he just fell unconscious. That is just looking at it from a physical stand-point. From a narrative perspective, he is with a alive Josho, and there is no real point keeping Josho alive if he is on his own. The two of them have a role to play yet. :twilightsheepish:

Where are people getting that EE is dead??? He just passed out!!!
RD may be in some trouble now.. But I hope that she made a friend with Mecha-pony and will be able to come back with a vengeance. :rainbowdetermined2:

Cant wait till the next story!!:pinkiehappy::rainbowdetermined2:

Oh!

Holy hell, he's ALIVE!

All of my YES! :pinkiehappy:

I logged in, and all of a sudden I see my favorites list has jumped by about 15 chapters from this alone.
Holy crap, I actually can't read it all tonight.

2238208Come on. I've survived Austraeoh and Eljunbyro up to this point. What could possibly break me now?

Liked Austraeho better but this was great in its own way. I just love how the wilderness and landscapes and features just go by. Also, RD wont be flying west I don't think:raritycry:

Came to this for a nearly 50-chapter sprint to the finish and just... wow. Time to go start Innavedr. I swear, if IC somehow manages to extend this so that he has an O and a U, then I'll probably just die happy or something.

All is calm. The players are scattered. The goals are lost.

It's a new beginning...

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