• Published 19th Oct 2012
  • 9,075 Views, 9,536 Comments

Eljunbyro - Imploding Colon

Bellesmith must perform experimental tasks in order to keep herself and her beloved safe.

  • ...

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Flank Whooping

"Is that..." Placid stammered, his jaw quivering as he gazed, wide-eyed, across the hazy room. "Is th-that a pony with wings?!"

Another guard screamed as his body was flung thirty-feet over the confused slaves' heads.

Felicity turned to glare at her beloved. "Jee, honey, what was your first clue?"

"I don't understand..." Placid gulped and looked worriedly at Belle. "What's she doing here? What's her part in all this!"

"Don't you get it?" Belle exclaimed over the rising commotion of murmuring equines. "She's the subject that this facility had locked away! That I was being sequenced with!" Belle swallowed hard and said, "But she's more than that! There's a secret to her, something that involves the foundations of the world and the sanctity of our very future!"

Felicity's head jerked as a blue blur soared overhead, shoving two guards into a stalactite before they collapsed to the floor with a thud. She squinted at Belle. "Does it also involve medication?"

"Is this supposed to... to help us with breaking out of here?" Placid asked.

"First thing's first." Belle leaned forward. "I'm willing to bet that Shell just went through here."

Felicity nodded with a cold shudder. "About twenty minutes ago: he had two ponies with him, being held against their will by his stallions."

"Was Pilate among them?!" Belle breathlessly exclaimed.

Placid ran a hoof through his soot-stained mane and shuddered. "You know... come to think of it, one of them seemed to have stripes. I thought I was just imagining things..."

"Where did they go?!"

"About three hundred meters northeast."

"What in Spark's name is 'northeast' in this infernal abyss?!"

"Calm down, Belle!" Felicity interjected. She pivoted and pointed past a pile of gravel towards a flickering passageway looming beyond. "The Prime Enforcer went that way! His whole ensemble trotted with him. Whatever it is they're doing, it was making a crazy noise, at least until your 'salvation' dropped in—"

As she said that, a groaning thug fell to the ground beneath them, along with a splash of no less than ten berets.

"Whew!" Rainbow Dash spat five more articles onto the purple pile of headwear. She grinned up at Bellesmith. "These guys are three loogeys short of earning themselves the 'Totally Lame Award.' Why the heck are you miserable ponies letting them push you dudes around down here, anyways?" She tilted her head up and blinked dully at Placid and Felicity. "Oh. Great. More unicorns."

"Rainbow Dash, I know where Pilate's gone! We need to hurry!"

"Never mind that! Look!" Rainbow Dash fished her hoof throught the pile of berets that matched hers. "I got more souvenirs!" She grinned devilishly and raised one up to Belle. "Go on! Try one one, Ding Dong!"

"Did you hear me?! I said—"

"Put on the beret!" Rainbow Dash screamed with twitching eyes.

Pale as a sheet, Belle sat on her haunches and flung a hat onto her skull. She gazed wide-eyed at Rainbow Dash. "B-b-better?"

"Awwwwwww yeah!" Rainbow Dash chuckled with flapping wings. "It's like we're having ourselves a regular hat party in this rock pile!" Her voice cracked between giggles, and she reeled dizzily. "Whew. Say, is it hot in here or what...?"

"Is..." Felicity winced. "...she with the program?"

Belle sweated beneath her oversized beret. "Well, she did just wake up from countless months of dwindling in a comatose state while her body mutated into a chaotic nether creature."

"And you woke her up... why?"

"I've got a better question." Rainbow Dash sneered, glaring at the two trembling unicorns. "Why aren't you wearing berets yet?!"


Everypony within vicinity turned to look.

A tall, muscular guard galloped to a stop, aiming a mana crystal gun at the group. "Lie down on the ground or I open fire!"

"Hey!" Rainbow Dash gasped, pointing. "What's that right behind you?!"

The guard blinked and glanced over his shoulder, only to see Rainbow Dash's grin as she landed from her dive.

"Whoopsy-daisy!" Rainbow grapped him by the shoulders, flapped her wings, spun, and power-bombed him skull-first into the rocky floor. The unicorn groaned, his horn being embedded into the stone surface. With a deep exhale, he slumped—unconscious and upside down—like a living tent peg. "Woo-hoo-hoo!" Rainbow Dash dusted her hooves off and landed beside him. "Now you really are a daisy! A wilting one! Ha ha ha..." She smirked at the group of slaves. She blinked.

Everypony in close proximity had placed a discarded beret on their heads, including a trembling Felicity and Placid. They smiled nervously in Rainbow's direction. Belle gave the group one glance, sighed, and trotted over to Rainbow Dash.

"Rainbow, thank you so very much for taking out so many guards. I'm sure the ponies down here need it. But there's something I need still." She gulped. "Pilate is down here, and if we don't stop Shell soon, there's no telling what he might—"

"Let me guess." Rainbow Dash pivoted and pointed at the passageway beyond the pile of gravel. "They went in there."

Belle's lips pursed. "How... did you know?"

"Uhhhhh..." Rainbow Dash shifted where she stood. She gazed at the passageway; it was brimming with lavender light, piercing her eyes between each blink. She smiled nervously Belle's way. "Just call it a hunch."

With a nervous breath, Belle asked, "Are you sure you're up for what's going to come next?"

"Pffft. Silly Bill."


"Whatever." Rainbow Dash slapped a hoof on her shoulder, teetering slightly. "If you take time to question everything, how ae you gonna have time to answer everything?"

Belle's brow furrowed. "But you don't exactly look like you have it all together."

"And just how the hay would you know that?"


"Let me do my magic, girl." Rainbow Dash spread her wings and offered a hoof. "You coming for a front row seat or not?"

"W-we are saving my beloved, right?"

"Just tell me which stallion not to punch, and we'll be golden."

"Well I guess that works—Gaaah!" Belle shrieked as she was whisked away in blue feathers. She shouted back over Rainbow's shoulders at the ponies watching them. "Tell Garnet! Tell him we're going to try and stop Shell! Eeep!" Belle yelped as the two threaded through the passageway like a missile.

The emaciated ponies stood in a line, staring at the two's departure.

Eventually, Placid murmured, "Do you think they're gonna be able to save us?"

"I don't know, honey..."


"Do you th-think it's safe to take off these berets now?"

"Nope. Not in the least."

"I didn't think so."

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