• Published 19th Oct 2012
  • 9,086 Views, 9,536 Comments

Eljunbyro - Imploding Colon

Bellesmith must perform experimental tasks in order to keep herself and her beloved safe.

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When they came to a stop, it was in a solid hover, with Eagle Eye's lavender hooves dangling bare inches above the Foxtaur floor. He winced, squirming in Rainbow's grip. Exhaling through the misty vapors, Eagle Eye stared out through the mess of trees, ruins, and vines. His trembling breaths brought a shudder through his petite body.

Undaunted, Rainbow Dash spoke. "Any sign of anything?"

"I'm lucky to see my own horn in front of my face."

"What gives? Aren't you supposed to be good at sight?"

"And aren't you supposed to be good at speed?" He hissed up at her. "What kept you, Rainbow Dash?!"

"I had a case of Accute Dizzyitus."


"Look, I got vertigo, fell on my flank, and didn't wake up until twelve hours later."

"You get vertigo and yet you're a winged pony?!"

"I have what you might call... a condition."

"Yeah, well, I have what you may call a skull, and it almost got fractured on account of something attacking the party while you were gone!"

"Look, try as I might, I can't be in all places at once. The only reason I'm awesome is 'cuz the rest of the world isn't."

"Yeah, okay, I'll buy that."

"Did you see where this thing attacked our friends from?"

"Uhm..." Eagle Eye glanced around the forest from where they hovered. "At first, it was from the upper trees—branch level. But then it attacked with metal coils from the forest floor. Whatever it is, it can gain and lose ground quickly."

"And we're talking 'metal mares,' right?"

"Best idea I heard all day."

"Wanna hear the worst idea for the day?"

"Uhhh... can I pass?"

"Nope." Rainbow Dash plopped the stallion down on a soft bed of grass. "But you can stand right here."

"What, as a lookout?"

"Not so much a lookout," her voice cracked. "Mmmmmm-more like bait."

Eagle's violet eyes bulged. "Say what?!"

"I'd prefer you say 'booga booga booga,' that'd get attention more."

"What kind of stupid plan is this?!" Eagle Eye stomped his hooves, growling. "I thought we were in this together!"

"And we are!" Rainbow Dash nodded, flying up and up through the mists. "Together but apart—"

"Rainbowwww!" Eagle Eye moaned.

"Just chillax. I'll be back."

"Where in the hay are you off to now?!"

"To shed some light on this mess—pegasus style."

He blinked awkwardly. "Huh?"

It was too late; she was gone. Eagle Eye unsheathed his sword and glanced left and right, trembling, his hooves squirming into the soft bed of leaves and grass below him. Suddenly, his ears twitched, for a sharp wind was picking up. Only, it wasn't anything natural. Soon, his silken mane was kicking up from a cyclonic gust of swirling air.

He gnashed his teeth and shaded his eyes with a forelimb as twigs and clumps of leaves flew into his figure. In amazement, he watched as the mists dissipated all around the ruins, being channeled up towards the sapphiric sky above the canopy by a blue blur.

To Eagle Eye's mixed delight, Rainbow Dash was spinning and spinning and spinning counter-clockwise, forcing all of the cloudy fog to flow into the upper troposphere. Beneath the agile work of the expert cloud kicker's blue wings, the body of Foxtaur Forest was once more exposed in utmost, emerald clarity. Eagle Eye stared—all the while squinting—as the trees, barks, and branches of the trees revealed themselves immaculately to his gaze.

As his eyes flowed down the massive trunks, his vision stumbled upon a series of nets made out of fine wire metal mesh. He gasped upon seeing the struggling forms of three unicorns, a zebra, and a gold-coated mare encased in the suspended traps. Eagle Eye hollered up to the largest of the dangling bodies. "Crimson! Captain, are you all okay?!"

"EE!" Crimson grunted, swiveling upside down to shout at the lone stallion. "She's here! Run!"

"Where—?" Eagle Eye spun and looked up.

A black body was swing towards him on a length of metal cables. A forelimb extended, its hoof rotating to expose a flickering taser.

Eagle Eye was too slow to deflect with his sword—

"Hang ten!" Rainbow Dash was there like a missile. All four of her hooves slammed into the metal spine of the armored pony. The cord snapped as the equine was plowed into the ground before she could strike Eagle Eye. Rainbow Dash easily rode her for six yards—grinding across the forest floor like a pegasus atop a surf-board. All too soon, however, two bursts of mana surged through the equine's rear limbs, and she forward vaulted into the woods.

Rainbow Dash was thrown off her. She flipped forward, spun, and drifted in a reverse hover. Before she could make a move, a burning taser was flying towards her scalp. She ducked the rogue pony's swing swiftly; a lock of red and orange mane hair was lopped off in a burning spark. Falling now, Rainbow bucked the figure away from her. The two bodies plunged in opposite directions, landing in reverse slides at a distance of twenty yards.

"I got her!" Eagle Eye leapt at the figure from behind with his sword.

The figure squatted impossibly low to the floor. With a sickening crack of metal joints, her forelimbs rotated back one hundred and eighty degrees, caught the stallion, and braced him for her rear legs to kick him across the clearing.

"Gaaaah!" Eagle Eye flew several feet and slammed hard into the trunk of a tree. Before he could even slump down to the ground—"Ooof!"—he wheezed as a weighted series of cords flew tightly around the tree, pinning him to the trunk. "Nnngh—My lungs!"

"Shut up, breeder!" a harsh voice clicked from beneath the black and red helmet. The metal mare turned around—

—and right into Rainbow's diving hoof. "Rrrrrgh!"

With a clash of sparks, the bounty hunter twirled twice from the blow.

Rainbow Dash stood on her rear limbs and held both of her front hooves together to slam down over the equine's flank.

With a loud snap, the mare's rear legs clasped over Rainbow's and nimbly twisted.

"Whoah!" Rainbow was slammed sideways into the ground. "Unf!"

The imposter jumped up, spun like a sideways top, and came down with a serrated pair of horseshoes. "Grrkkkkk!"

Rainbow gnashed her teeth and flung both of her wings forward.

A burst of air exploded between them, shoving the metal mare away before her attack could slice Rainbow's throat open. The pony toppled backwards through the air and landed in an expert slide.

Rainbow Dash kipped up to her hooves—only to have a loop of metal coils flung forward, ensnaring her front left limb. Rainbow merely blinked at the cable, then smirked. "Oh really?" With a snarl, she flung herself forward, gained some slack, and yanked up and down on the cable with a jerk.

The length of the metal coil flew in a wave towards its owner and knocked her off her own armored hooves. While she was airborne, a blue blur surged into the metal mare, shoulder first. "Gakkk!" Her voice crackled beneath her helmet as her red-glowing form was flung through the underbrush, deflecting viciously off a tree trunk, and grinding to a lurching halt against an aged wall of brick.

"Yeesh..." Eagle Eye wheezed.

"Hah!" Phoenix cackled from where he dangled up high. "How do you like them apples?!"

"Shut up, you idiot!" Zenith grumbled, fumbling with his restraints. "You did nothing!"

"You shut up!"

"Quiet, everypony!" Bellesmith exclaimed. Gulping, she peered down through her metal net and stammered, "Rainbow Dash! Is it really you?"

"No, the sky farted down swamp gas just to save your flanks."

"It certainly sounds like her," Pilate muttered.

"Rainbow!" Belle grinned, panting with ecstasy. "We're so glad to see you—"

"Let's save our reunion for when I'm not sharing Ragneighrok with a pony in a suit made out of cheese graters." Rainbow Dash stood ominously before the figure, grinding her hooves into the soil. "Well, hot shot?" Her nostrils flared as her ruby eyes narrowed. "What it'll be? The lame way or the awesome way?"

The figure slowly stood up, its slightly scuffed-up helmet reflecting Rainbow's brazen figure. A line of red light shimmered down its visor, and a hoarse, feminine voice rang from within: "Whichever hurts the most..." A clicking noise. "...Ledomare's most dangerous game."

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