(He/They) Sometimes you just want to hear your favorite story told a little different
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This story is a sequel to Girlfriend Friend
Sure, all of Rarity's closest friends got the wrong idea about their relationship with her. But Rarity already has a special somepony. And they're royalty no less!
No not that one.
Or that one.
Oh dear...
***
StraightToThePointStudios did another amazing audio reading!
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And Cyrano thought HE had it tough.
It was all a hilarious train wreck... and then Thorax burst in and I lost it.
Poor Luna, having the rug pulled out from under her like that.
It's why she and Rarity would go so well together.
Gotta say I'm rather disappointed in heartbutt here.
May the gods bless you, Cadence
Ooooh. No. Noonononononono, NO. That's uncomfortable, that made me physically cringe. Nothing against them, I love their character but... Oh god, that felt weird.
Great sequel with amazing timing.
Let me guess. Chrysalis, Tirek, and the Smooze are next? Of them all The Smooze has gotten the...closest to Rarity. Or maybe there is a Diamond Dog that would want to slap her rump again and call Rarity a mule.
Then there is Anon if he exists.
Vengeance. Good sweet vengeance for the broken hearts of the others from Mane6. Especially for Twilight's.
Years later....
Luster Dawn bit her lip nervously as her, what she assumed to be, girlfriend looked at her with an expression that bordered on boredom and disappointment.
"You think we've been dating?" The older mare asked, her words causing Luster to flinch at the tone.
"W-well yes. I mean, I know that your older and---"
"Stop," Rarity interrupted. "We aren't dating, we have never dated and... How old are you?"
"I just turned nineteen!" Luster exclaimed happily. "Because most ponies look down on older ponies for being together with un-"
"Stop! Stop, stop, stop. We are not dating, we have never dated, and I would never imagine dating somepony younger than myself. Besides, I'm married."
"Wait, to who?"
"Myself," Rarity answered as another Rarity trotted up to her side. "The mirror pool allowed me to really get in touch with myself."
"And when I started touching myself, I just couldn't stop," the second Rarity finished.
"... Did you just-"
"Yes," they both answered.
This series gets more and more ridiculous and unbelievable every entry.
AND I LOVE IT.
Looks like Rarity really was dating royalty, just not the one(s) she thought...
5 mustaches
This is beautiful.
This was mad. Mad and funny. Well done.
Though don't think I'll forgive you for stringing along my waifu like that. Rarity deserves happiness, dangit.
Man Rarity just can’t catch a break, hopefully she’ll find a true special somepony at some point...or not that might be funnier.
Hilarious work, well done
Lovely
Walked into that one, Rares.
I adore that Discord's answer to the question of Rarity flirting with him was that it probably wasn't real.
That is something that is going to haunt Rarity's dreams. She will be just on the cusp of sleep when his comment comes back to her, and then any chance of sleep will evaporate as she contemplates the most remote possibility that yes, she was somehow flirting with Discord and he may have reciprocated.
Well, that was a glorious mess.
Goddamn, that's beautiful
!
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Months Earlier (Assuming this takes place after Starlight's reformation)
Twilight looked at the barren wasteland around her and Starlight, wind rushing past their manes as the ashes of the dead world clung to their coats. Starlight, the mare responsible for the untold deaths and unimaginable horrors of this world, seethed in anger as Twilight stretched out a hoof of friendship.
"I don't know what would possess you to create a village without cutie marks, and even though it was a morally reprehensible act with questionable ethics and dark implications of dark magic, I'm still sorry that I made you feel sad."
"Oh, you wanna know what happened to ME?!" Starlight demanded, as her magic began to surround herself and Twilight, dragging them through time and space to a familiar town. Twilight looked up to see a young version of Starlight trotting through the streets of her old home, cantering towards a vaguely familiar filly.
"This is what happened. A cutie mark stole my girlfriend!" Starlight explained, as the younger version of Rarity entered a carriage and waved off to her friends. "She left me! She didn't even give me a goodbye kiss or an address to send her a letter. Then, imagine my surprise when, after years of looking for her, I find out that she's spending time being hounded by a bunch of creepy mares. So, I created a spell to remove cutie marks to scare you and your friends off, and I used Our Town as a way to test it out. I needed to make sure the effects were actually permanent, so that I could keep you all away from Rarity forever. But you ruined it!"
"I see... No friendship for you," Twilight announced as she reconfigured the spell to leave Starlight in the last timeline and returned back home, hopefully to spend some time with her girlfriend. While she would have usually hesitated to leave a mare in another dimension with no hope of survival, the articles in her magazines did say to "protect her mare" so to speak. And really, wasn't "banishment to a dying world" just a colorful way of saying "self-defense"?
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*wheeze*
Poor Rarity. Her feelings and emotions trampled underfoot.
This was gold to read. I specially enjoyed when the narration's voice was complementing the dialogue.
Fantastic follow up, just as hilarious as the first one.
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The second Rarity looks at the first.
"We're married?"
"Ye—of course we are! What are you saying?! We were at the altar together, just a few years ago!"
Rarity's expression turned doubtful. "I don't remember that. We never married. I have no idea why you would think we were ever an item."
Rarity's eyes nearly popped out of her head. Her ears splayed back against her skull as she sputters. "Bu—we, you—then, then who was there with me?!"
A nearby rock flickered in emerald fire. An older, but not necessarily braver, Ocellus stood there instead now. She coughed and touched the back of her neck. "I'm... I'm sorry, Rarity. That was me."
"What?! But—"
"But only because I was asked to!" The Changeling threw in. Her tone grew increasingly desperate as the words flowed. "At least in the beginning. But the more time we spent together, the more I realised I love you! I loved you ever since you were our teacher! It grew from a simple order to something I wanted, I needed! And now that you know I tricked you, our marriage is null and void! I'm sorry!"
"Ocellus!" Came a five-fold cry from afar. The other students. "How could you?!!"
Rarity held up a hoof. "Wait. You said it was for somepony else at first. Who?"
Ocellus bit her lip. Finally, she lowered her head. "Prince Pharynx."
"What?!"
"It's true." Ocellus nodded. "He was too shy. Even today, he couldn't come. He said something happened that required his attention."
Suddenly, a flash of brilliant white drew everyone's attention. The flash came from the perfect teeth of a tall, white stallion. "He was distracted," said Prince Blueblood, "by my challenge to a princely duel. For your hoof, my lady!"
"What?" Rarity asked, pointing an accusing, and widely asked-for alabaster hoof in his face. "You expect me to believe YOU challenged PHARYNX to a duell?!"
"Indeed!" Blueblood tossed his mane. Then he paused. "Though I did ask another stallion to fight in my stead. Equestria could never handle the loss of one such as I. Right now, Prince Pharynx should be battling Flash, who I might have insinuated to that he could win your affection through prowess in combat."
Rarity closed her eyes and took a deep breath. A thought crept up on her. "Wait. Which Flash? Magnus? Or Sentry?"
Blueblood tapped his chin as he thought. "You know, it might have been both of them actually..."
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“I’m also here,” a monotone voice drawled out from behind Blueblood, causing the prince to leap away in surprise as an earth pony with grey fur and a green turtleneck looked at the group with a disinterested gaze.
“Maud?! But you’re married, aren’t you?” Rarity asked.
"And a mother," the other Rarity pointed out, possibly upset at being the only one not to contribute for more than a minute.
“I am. I just came here because Tom was too worried to meet you. You haven’t answered any of his letters, and he’s really upset about it,” Maud explained.
“Tom? Who the heck is Tom?!”
“… You sick monster,” Maud spat out before turning away from the mare and trotting back home, possibly planning to consolidate a large rock about his heart break.
Rarity looked at all the gathered creatures, desperately trying to hold on to whatever remained of her sanity.
"Alright! Who else is apparently in love with me?!"
"I am!" A voice called out from above before an extraordinarily tall blue dragon empress clad in golden armor landed in front of her.
"Ember?! Are you serious?!"
"It's true, since the day I met you in the Dragon Lands, I knew that you were the only one for me. Even under that costume, I could see the beauty beneath the stitched scales and googly eyes, I could feel the warmth of your magical gaze kiss my wings. You've been the only pony on my mind since that fateful day. Please, Princess Twilight, would you-"
"Wait, I'm not Twilight though," Rarity corrected, causing the dragon empress to peer down at her.
"Damnit, all you ponies look alike. Uh, no offense," she said before extending her massive wings to fly away.
As Rarity and the others watched her leave, a tall orange abyssain wearing a red trench coat walked in with a bouquet of flowers in his paws. Once the ponies and other creatures took their eyes off of the dragon, their gazes lingered on the stranger from the Storm Lands, who coughed awkwardly.
"Um, hey? Is now a bad time, cause I can come back later..."
The orange tabby was suddenly shoved aside as a unicorn with maroon fur and an artificial horn looked around desperately.
"I head that there was a challenge for Rarity's hoof. Where is it?!" She demanded.
"Tempest? B... Have we even had a conversation before today!?" Rarity asked.
"No, but I heard there was a fight and I'm so bucking BORED!" Tempest lamented. "Besides, if I win, I could barter for a herd and get together with Princess Twilight," she explained, revealing her true intentions.
"You might have to fight a dragon for that right, darling," the other Rarity warned.
"... Twilight's tits, I'm so turned on by that. I need to go!" Tempest shouted before she teleported away.
"Okay... Anypony else want to suddenly jump in?"
"I do~" A velvet voice said, as Rarity's shadow began to rise.
"N... Nightmare," Rarity whispered as the familiar visage of the Nightmare entity rose up above her.
"Yes darling, it is I. After I merged with you all those years ago, I realized that you were the only one for me. Please, come back to me my bedazzling dream, and together, we can conquer all of Equestria! Or, you know, just go on a date and see where the night takes us, that could be nice too."
"... Buck this shit I'm out," Rarity appeared to sing, trotting away from the many creatures and demon that gathered around her. The one who pushed the first domino of this chaos looked around uneasily until her gaze lingered on the other Rarity.
"Soooo... Herd?" She asked hopefully.
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got a laugh out of me with the Ember bit in there
OK, that was pretty funny.
This. Right here, the best line. Bravo, this was fantastic.
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These are the best comments I've ever gotten. I'm dying laughing you guys are great
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I added a bit more to it. I think it has an ending, but someone else may add onto it next. I'm really hoping for a third story to make a trilogy.
And then Chrysalis
Goodness, this is such a solidly amazing sequel to a beautiful story! Both are super enjoyable, got all that humor, all the weirdness, just everything needed to make this all a big joy to read! I know I'm a bit late to this, but I hope ya didn't mind that I made a reading on this neat sequel fic of yours!
Audio Linkyloo!: https://youtu.be/TqsXkomujAQ
(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)
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Sometimes, the best thing for yourself is....yourself.
What a perfect sequel! You use the qualities of each of the characters so well. Luna and Discord especially really pop out of the page. And I can just picture the scene at the end!
And also, the title! I laughed just from that alone.
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OH MY GOSH! This is great! Thank you so much!
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YEEEEES! Make a threequel where the villains confess their love!
How did I miss this until now! Great job!
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Well, just because he was kidding about killing her didn't mean he was going to let her go without some kind of punishment.
Odd that she didn’t try to at least take Celestia up on it. Heat of the moment I suppose.
I wish I could double-extra-favourite stories. because this and the previous instalment definitely deserve it.
I am definitely going to seek these out again, prime re-reading material.
Not sure why this story is trending but I'm glad it is I love this story!
The titles are wild and the comedy is great!
An oddball ghost happened across your fic and read it. Have a review!
You can has review!