• Member Since 1st Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Sep 13th, 2017


Mostly a romance writer, often taking an interest in trying different genres but always coming back to romance in the end.


Several years after returning to Equestria, Luna spends most nights isolated in her room with only her tomes and music for company. Her sister began to notice a growing sadness from her loneliness, and together with Princess Cadence they decide to try and search for a consort to cheer up the Mare of the Moon.

The commotion of this decision catches the attention of Discord, who can't help but be thrilled with the idea of "helping" his favourite two alicorns get together.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 58 )

This seems like it could work out to be a good story.

Already didn't expect it to go as it did, so I'm looking forward to writing the next bit too. Discord is just too fun.

Can not wait fore more love this story :heart::pinkiesmile::twilightsmile:

Seems interesting please continue :twilightsmile:

It's a good concept, but there are a few errors. Watch for capitalizing things that shouldn't be (pronouns not at the beginning of a sentence, including the majestic plural, such as "we" or "our".)
Specific examples:
“For more who would want a Princess as a trophy.” Luna retorted with a slight coldness.
The word "princess" refers to any given princess, not a specific one. Only capitalize when referring to the individual:
"Now introducing Princess Luna, Lady of the Night." The titles (princess and lady) are capitalized be cause they specifically refer to Luna. "Night" is capitalized because it is part of the title "lady."

“Name Lulu, gender Female, race Unicorn.”
"Female" as an adjective not at the beginning of a sentence should not be capitalized. "Lulu" as a name, is capitalized.

“We do not wish to be seen as solely a Princess, but more as a Mare with a desire for company. A Mare who desires a mutual interest and joy in the company of each other. Is that Desire made clear?”

The words "princess" "mare" and "desire" should not be capitalized. Even though "princess" and "mare" refer to a royal body, they follow the same rules as above. "Desire" despite being a royal proclamation, is not capitalized either.

Hope this helps, I am interested in where this will go.

Wow, is Twilight going to be surprised at finally receiving a response to that forgotten, and probably embarrassingly impulsive, dating agency submission.

Ah with those I was thinking more along the lines of what words they would emphasise, usually I went with princess when not being spoken and Princess when spoken. I think Desire was very questionable on that though, as she may have emphasised it but I didn't know if that one would come off as well as when referring to other ponies or themselves so I will change that one since it stands out as much as it does. I had a similar thought when it came to reading the words on the form which were capitalised but I guess those wouldn't be spoken like they are written, also changed the Mare to mare in Luna's speech also since looking back she did use the word only just after the end of a sentence so it probably stood out a little in a bad way.

I guess it probably isn't an accurate thing to do but for some reason I tend to do it as a way to try and show a little of the emphasis especially if relating to calling each other by name or title or similar, like Cousin or Sister etc. But I suppose I may have gone overboard with it. Probably should have kept it just to those things like Princess, Cousin, Sister and the names etc. I did it with Our and We for the same idea however since that is referring to herself in that "royal voice" way I think it might follow the same suit, but obviously not capitalised if actually meaning other people and not herself.

Love the Doomguy with cup of drink btw.
Probably would be a mixture of happiness and mostly embarrassment.

Your Discord feels right. Interested to see where this goes.

Pleased he does, I've written a few Discord things which I never finished / uploaded and always loved doing it, he is such an interesting character to write since there is so much you can do with him.

I guess my point was that the story flows better without capitalization cropping up in odd locations. I know there are other ways to structure sentences to emphasize certain words, unfortunately I am not a skilled enough writer to give any help there. Your Discord is well characterized.

Will definitely try and cut down on the use of it then, I still like using it but will not over do it like I did here to make it stand out as much as it did to be commented on hehe, flowing is definitely for the best. Also thanks I really love writing Discord, I suppose it is quite hard to go wrong with Discord though as long as plenty of chaotic things get thrown around hehe.

King of Chaos dating services. There's no possible way this could ever go wrong. :rainbowlaugh:

im liking this and i hope it is more than a two chapter story now on to other matters................. BY THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY DONT JUST WRITE THIS AND BUGGER OFF AND NEVER TOUCH IT AGAIN TOO MANY STORYS THAT ARE IN MY LIBRARY END LIKE THAT SO MUCH SO I HAVE A LIST LET ME SHOW YOU 8thcorner.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/kill_bill__vol_1__046.jpg

Nothing that would be unfun to him at least.

How long it will be I don't know, I originally had just the idea of it ending after the date but some more stuff keeps coming up due to Discord so it may end up being longer, though at this point I have no idea how long since it will only start to become clear as it writes itself.

As long as nothing bad happens to me again I'll keep writing this story. I did have a long break on Magician's Obsessions due to some issues but now that I'm back into writing I plan on continuing that older story and writing these newer ones.

is it sad that the best character here is discord?

6059473 indeed he does, get Celestia to distract him next chapter and he wont.

Fun note, this was meant to be a single part story, then Discord some how made his way inside. Then everything changed.... I think I just really wanted to write some more Discord.

Yesssssssss... Yessssssssss... Needs more Discord.

Interested so far, but I may be biased for the subject matter and the cover picture.:twilightsheepish:

Discord is always fun.
It is one of my preferred couples to do things with, and the picture was the most suitable I had for both looking nice and suiting the story.

The scene involving the assorted bachelors felt rushed, almost as if the author was just trying to get past it as quickly as possible. There's a difference between a character wanting to be done with something fast, and the actual text reading too quickly. There seemed to also be a lack of true scene transition. They'd be in one place, then another within a few short sentences that barely describe the scenes.

On that note, the dialogue between characters needs to be touched up a bit. There was very little flow between characters, just a game of pong from one to the other.

In a more positive light, your grammar and spelling were fantastic for the grand majority of the chapter.

If Luna has crying jags brought on by chronic low self-esteem, then what she needs is a psychiatrist. Getting a girlfriend instead is unfortunately likely to make the problem worse rather then better (even if they would be perfect for each other :raritywink:). Still, I'm looking forward to see where you go with this.

The scene with Luna speaking to the gentry and then her in her room afterwards were the two parts I was least happy with. I was stuck between either playing Luna's character as more generally depressed and down rather than getting upset and crying, and ended up eventually picking the more upset version which I did feel may have come across badly since I was torn between them while writing those scenes. I went back and changed things on the bedroom scene especially countless times before finally deciding to just go with what I had as I knew something was going to stand out sadly. I think perhaps I should have just remained on the depressed side but then the story would have felt more depressing which I didn't want. Sadness is easier to solve with some laughter from Discord.

her crying is brought out more as a result of them attempting to solve the problem which made her feel that way. Otherwise she would just be continuing to stay alone permanently which they want to fix, but clearly don't really know how do to it since they brought in all the wrong kinds of ponies.

Discord is being a real pain in the but.

It's what he does best.
Thanks, will do.

6079452 Yes but not like this. You don't fuck with romance, the emotions are too high and one wrong mistake can cause catastrophic consequences, especially when someone as neurotic as Twilight is involved.

Such high stakes probably just make it even more fun to mess around with. But hopefully the 4 Princesses should be able to keep him somewhat controlled.

6079644 That is if They can ma sure that Twilight or Luna don't go off the deep end again. The worst would be both going mad at the same time.

Well, right now all he's doing is making sure it's really a 100% Blind Date, keeping Twilight too distracted to examine the letter fully and cutting out as many of the middleponies as possible so nopony makes a lucky guess. Probably because he figures it'll be funny to watch them show up with no idea who they're meeting.

Hate to be that guy but if Celestia is an aunt to Cadance, Luna as Celestia's sister would still be an aunt to Cadance not a cousin, but this is still awesome

Discord really took things out of proportion, but what was meant to happen in the first part will now happen in the 4th!
These family things are the most confusing thing. I was wanting to go with Cadence being adopted by Celestia type of origin but then had no idea what words work for it. Think her calling Celestia Auntie seems like something she would do since she was the one to adopt, but then whether Cadence is classed as a niece or as a daughter or as something else I have no idea, and I figured Luna works as a cousin since she was absent as Nightmare Moon imprisoned at the time. Totally confused there. :facehoof: Asked for help on it before but still ended up being confused~

6104853 Think of it as this:
Your mother has two sisters, those two sisters are both considered your aunts, which is what I think is the situation here

6104808 While true, we are talking royalty. Go look at historical European royal family lines if you dont' believe me how it's possible to be one sister's niece and another's cousin..

the "Royally Screwed up Family" trope exists for a reason.

Yea I guess it would be then, the bit that threw me off was if Luna being absent made it different or not. But I've gone back through and changed the it to be aunt / auntie or other things through the story instead of cousin now. Thanks for helping with that since these family terms are seriously confusing when you never had to deal with stuff beyond parents and brothers / sisters personally hehe.

my cousin and sister-in-law

Luna is not Cadence's cousin, she's her Aunt.

Yea someone pointed that out, I had problems with understanding how families worked it has been corrected now.
It is fun how they are all related to each other and how the English family are sort of German.

Spike rubbed his head a little from the shock as he made his way from under the furniture to see his royal guest. “Oww, oh. Princess Celestia it is an honour!” Spike attempted to kneel again before being forced not to in a similar way to Rainbow earlier.

Cadence I should think.

Well he knocked his head.... yea I changed it just thanks for pointing that out. :twilightsheepish:

There's something that's been digging at me since I read the first chapter. Before something can be referred to with the, it should be introduced to the reader.

well this is cute and adorable, i look forward to more.

I really hope there will be more soon. This is good. The incoming TwiLuna is looking like its going to be a mix of cute and good laughs.

6186813 was hoping to keep to a weekly thing with it, but should be getting around to it in the next few days unless more things pop up to delay it a bit more. Cuteness is bestness.

6187828 TwiLuna cuteness is bestness :twilightsmile:

And incoming updates pleases me.

6187828 i blame the stupidity of the world for us NOT having a chapter right now

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