• Member Since 6th Jun, 2018
  • offline last seen Dec 30th, 2019

trustissues


"Why, as a child, I thought sharks were my friends. [In ominous voice] I know better now." -Professor Membrane

T

The fall of Beacon Academy was a tragic event, many had died in the chaos, and one of them was Vale's most wanted, Roman Torchwick. We all know his story and how he had fallen into death's embrace, Roman didn't expect to lose to a nameless girl, and he thought everything would end once the darkness consumed him, but he was wrong.

Now he finds himself in a whole new world of multi colored horses, where he also encounters a certain showmare who speaks in third person.

Follow the dashing thief of Remnant as he takes the greatest second chance in his life, by doing what he does best.

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 19 )

Very promising! And you get a thumbs up because I'm a fan of RWBY, more specifically... Ruby herself and Roman Torchwick.

Hopefully, you don't rewrite it again, I read some stories that went 3 or even 4 rewrites, it was annoying XD.

9802138
Hmm, I'm not really telling anyone on what to do but if you rewrite a story after the third time, I think that's where you just give up.

If rewriting it thrice with each being a bit different isn't enough then you might as well just axe it there or keep going with your third rewrite. Sometimes doing it over and over makes things dull and lowers the readers expectations. Even though we got so much "I turned into X because of Truck-kun's brother, MerchantMan!", don't really got anything against those type of fics, buts its a good example.

That's just what I think and I thought about the " rewrite" subject since the day you commented.

So I'm trying to give Roman a semblance and I already thought of a few ideas, just wanted to tell you all.

I have an idea if I could share it, maybe shadow manipulation would be a good fit for Roman, and as far as I know no one has that semblance, so it could work.

Roman didn't expect to lose to a nameless girl,

He died in a fight with Ruby Rose. A fight he was winning I might add, until he was killed by an animal from behind.

Not exactly a nameless girl, unless your referring to the Grim that killed him.

The Monk
“A spider’s got to spider.” -Scarheart

9839061
No, I was referring to Ruby, I just always thought that Roman doesn't bother learning her name and just stuck with calling her Red. But now that I think of it, (if I remember it right) he did call Blake by her name in the train episode. Which was probably because he learned it from other White Fang members.

Yeah, it would actually be reasonable for Roman to find out Ruby's name. Being a thorn on his side and all.


9839055
Well I do have some choices, and I was actually leaning over to the noise canceling semblance where all noise are nonexistent in a small radius area for a few seconds or more.

You know, to fit his rouge like class, gotta ask for details though.

Are you saying like that guy from Naruto or like Blake? Or Zed from League of L? Never mind, Zed and Blake are kinda the same now that I think of it.


9838946
Sorry dude, wrong answer

But on a serious note, the description that I gave doesn't really say Octavia. Also, since I'm cutting her out of the fic.

Funny that she was about to reveal that she had aura in the original fic and she would go against Roman. Heh.

9839089

I just always thought that Roman doesn't bother learning her name and just stuck with calling her Red

THAT, is a very, very good point. Your right, I don't think that he actually knew her name.

I stand corrected

The Monk
"Knowledge is power and power corrupts, so study hard and be evil." - Reykan

9839089
I was thinking of a combination of some of the shadow arts from Naruto.

Here is a list of light and shadow jutsu from Naruto.

I'm thinking if you pick my idea you can chose some that fit Roman's character. but that's up to you

9839142
I might pick some kind of shadow manipulation, that alone in the dark style seems cool. Like my noise canceling idea, seems too OP though but I can always think up some down sides of Roman's semblance.

I think that if an Author wants to reimagine an earlier story of theirs, they should indeed do so. They say that hind-sight is 20/20 and it is very true. We often come up with ideas that we wish we would have used when we originally wrote our works. So, no biggie.

I have to hand it to you though, you did one thing absolutely right. You did NOT delete the original work. You kept it up and that is the right thing to do. Nothing pisses me off more than getting 30 chapters invested in a story, only to have the dam thing deleted by the Author. Every story has fun points and unique situations that made reading it in the first place fun. Even if the original is a dead work, rereading it for those fun and unique situations can be entertaining. The perfect example of what Im talking about is the story Great, I'm the new bad guy by Lichlord18 He He got 20 or so chapters into a story that was kind of light hearted / tongue and cheek, then deleted it to rewrite it with a more serious tone. The original, which had some fantastic moments is gone forever. Its a loss to new reader who will never have a chance to see it. (Luckily I archive these things, or at least the better ones, so I still have the original.)

Now Im not saying to never delete old work. Stories with one or three chapters, or stories written in "Cave Man" speak is a different story. As is any story that uses the word "chuckled" more than 20 times, or "She wore" followed by a description of what every single one of the mane six is wearing should be automatically deleted.

Any way, good job on the rewrite, Im liking it so far.

The Monk
“Heat? isn't that when... I took a whiff of air when I smelled a smelly smell that smells smelly.” -The Kitsune

9802138
Those are the people who get in the car to grab something to eat only to drive in circles unsure what restaurant to hit. 😎

The Monk
“Puberty was a curse for those inflicted with it, and boundless amusement for others who survived the process.” -Scarheart

9841159
Thanks, I kept the original one because of pretty much what you've said. I got too far just to delete it, it can even serve as an inspiration for me. Like if I need a few ideas for a different story, I can look back at my old works.

Like how when I was writing my second fic, a borderlands crossover, I used my first plan of bringing back dead people from the rwby series into my first story. The second fic actually helped me decide on rewriting this one because I thought "Hey, I can't just use the same idea on two different fics!"

Also, you got any quotes about how awesome water is? I got a joke religion going on with my friends and we praise water as the beginning of life and all that stuff.

Edit: you made me conscious if I used the word "chuckled" over twenty times, might actually count it later...
"Long ago, before man walk upon the earth, we were fish." -My friend Jose

"I know, I know, I'm an an amazing guy. You could even say I'm-" His right wing moved towards under his chin and mimicked a check mark with a small feather on top of his wing pointing up and his 'index feather' pointed to his left. " criminally stupendous ?"

Role credits +1

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