Criminally Stupendous

by dudenotactive

Snow Dust

Twilight Sparkle never thought that she would see something so, bland. Everything around her was just dirt and rock, barely any grass. The sky was just cloudy and every time she saw a pegasus flying by, they carried a cloud with them for the collection. She and her friends along with Pinkie's sister were walking for an hour now, and they had just reached a big gate with a large fence to go with it.

But the odd thing was that there were ponies in white suits and fedoras that stood near the gates. They eyed them carefully as the group approached. The ponies acting as guards simply opened the gates and allowed them access, no questions asked. Twilight couldn't help but wonder why, it was strange as if they expected them to come, allowing the group to walk on a stone path towards the Snow residence. There was also a fact that these guards were armed by weapons that were clearly manufactured by Candlewick Corp.

Their hooves held Atlesian models and were ready for an attack if it ever comes.

Just ahead of them lies a house, Victorian design and painted white. It was surrounded by hedges and statues that was something Twilight would not expect in a rock farm. A sparkling fountain was just to the side and a statue of Celestia stood beautifully at the center holding a jar with water flowing out of it.

Once the group had finally reached the door, it was an amazing craftsmanship of a door. Pure mahogany from the looks of it, and the design was truly something to appreciate. Pinkie bounced up and gave it a good knock.

"Who's there?" A stallion with a strange accent answered from behind the door.

"It's me, Pinkie Pie!"

"It's me Pinkie Pie who?"

Before the group could even make sense, another stallion started speaking and scolded the first one. "White Stone you idiot, enough with your useless jokes and go help my son with the tea! The guests are here and yet you dawdle!" The door quickly opens and a white unicorn stallion with a white mane and a moustache greeted the group. "Twilight Sparkle, it is an honor!"

"I-it certainly is." Twilight stuttered back a little, surprised that they were truly expecting them.

"Come in, come in!" Without any protest, the stallion pulled all four of them inside and took them to a nice and clean room.

Three blue couches now occupied by three mares and a young drake. A small coffee table was set in front of them, and all around the room were decorations made completely out of ice. The room itself was a mix of blue and white, seemingly going after a theme.

"Excuse my brother in law, he is just obsessed with his knock knock jokes. Ahem, I am Rocky Snow, the owner of this fine farm you stand on." The stallion now known as Rocky Snow bowed. "It is truly amazing to meet the fabled Twilight Sparkle."

"Thank you, but-"

Before Twilight could even finish Spike went on and cut her off there. "Hey, can I have some of those Dust crystals? I'm hungry."

Rocky eyed the young drake, with a reluctant hoof he called over a White Stone to bring in some crystals. He was a unicorn as well but his mane was black just like the moustache on his face. "Take it as an offering of my kindness, we have plenty of Dust to go around." Rocky generously gifted Spike a basket filled with a perfect cut of Dust crystals.

"Really!?" Spike said excitedly.

"Yes," He smiled as he watched the young drake digging into the basket for those dangerous crystals. "White, where is the tea?"

"On the way, Wheat will be out any second now." White simply assured Rocky. Then the stallion simply backed up towards the doorway to the kitchen and simply stood there, watching them with a careful eye.

"While we wait, I have a few questions about these-" Once again Twilight was cut off, but this time it was a pony slamming the door wide open.

"Sir! We have a problem!" The pony cried out as he ran up to Rocky.

Rocky groaned deeply before facing his guests. "Forgive me, but I must see this problem immediately. I cannot trust my brother in law, so I will leave you with my youngest daughter."

With that, Rocky and the pony who was a worker for the Snow farm had left to see what was the cause for concern. And seconds after the stallion had left, another unicorn had entered the room. Her mane was platinum blonde in the style of a side ponytail. She wore a white dress which was bluer as around the hem. And a bell sleeved bolero lined in red with a ruffled collar.

"Pleased to meet you," She gracefully bowed her head. "I am Weiss Schnee. If you have any questions then I am happy to answer."

"Oh, very well. I am Twilight Sparkle, and this is my assistant Spike." She introduced herself and Spike.

"Weiss!" Pinkie bounced up from her seat like she always does.

Weiss sidestepped away, dodging Pinkie's tackle. "Pinkamena, I would say it is a pleasure to see you again but then I would be lying. Limestone."

"Weiss." The earth mare greeted back as she narrowed her eyes.

"Weiss!" They heard Rocky call out from the outside. "Be nice to the guests or else!"

"Yes father!" She answered much to her silent protest. "What do you wish to know?"

Pinkie quickly raised her hoof in the air.

"No Pinkamena, I won't be your best friend." Pinkie retracted her hoof. "Any other questions that are important?"

Spike raised his own limb. "Yeah I got one, what's with the guards? They honestly looked like they were ready for a big fight."

"As a rock farmer, there comes a risk of Diamond Dogs raiding your land for gems as well as the dark creatures of Grimm, the Shadow Dogs. My mother and her brother as well as my sister could take on the Diamond Dogs easily, but the Grimm are far beyond our strength alone."

"But doesn't this town have Iron Legionnaires?" Twilight questioned, it was obvious that it did, which was the norm for every settlement as they are the one thing that keeps the Grimm at bay.

"Yes..." Weiss dragged on the S and made a long hiss with a face that was expressing fatigue as if her body was drained of energy just to go on.

"The guards in Rockville are a bunch of idiots." Limestone spoke out her mind.

"By Celestia, they are a bunch of idiots." Weiss agreed with the Pie sister for once. "They focused on some pointless conflict with each other most of their time and whenever they do fight against the Grimm, the town spends more time on rebuilding than cleaning because they always go overboard with their assault."

"Really?" Twilight asked with disbelief.

"Yeah," Pinkie confirmed it. "just last month while I was visiting, there was this big bear Grimm and the Iron Legion blew up the candy store!"

"Wait, they did what? What happened to the Grimm?"

"Oh it fell into a sinkhole where the candy store used to be. We filled that hole with dirt, gravel, and other things we didn't really need which was a nice bonding experience!" Pinkie sighed softly as a tear ran down her cheek. "I'm gonna miss that candy store..."

"Woah, that sounds awesome!" Spike said enthusiastically.

"Spike, not awesome!" Twilight was quick to correct her assistant. "These Legionnaires sounded like they are not qualified for the task."

"That is why my mother hired personal guards instead." Weiss gave Twilight the reason why. "And before you ask, she is busy right now speaking with a friend."

"I see," Twilight pondered for a second, she understood that keeping some guards around was a great idea, but something about it was strange to the unicorn.

The guards were armed with weapons made by Candlewick, that is reasonable since they are pretty much the main buyer for the Dust. Then...

"Where did Dust come from?"

Weiss did not flinch, her body was still and unloving. Her face was like a doll, emotionless and vacant of any life. "I am afraid I cannot answer that. You must speak with my mother instead, but sadly she is busy."

"Well, when can I speak with her?"

"My mother is a busy mare, the only free time she has right now on her schedule is in two years. I believe it would be best to make a letter instead so she can read it in her short breaks between work. She will surely answer it when the time comes. Will that be all?"

"Yes..." Twilight sighed leaning back on the coach.

"We're done here?" Limestone asked, she was eager to leave and would rather not stick around.

"Before you all go, please enjoy this tea that I made!" A young stallion suddenly entered the room with a tray holding a tea set and a teapot floating by his side. "Uncle, would you kindly help serve our guest?"

"Of course!" White Stone was happy to help.

"Oh, very well..." Twilight did not wish to be rude so her only option was to accept.

The only one who did not accept the offer was Limestone who simply glared at the youngest of the Snow family to which he was happy to accept her choice. And as Spike was busy eating his crystals, Twilight had hundreds of questions. These would have to wait for now, and hopefully the answers she desired would come to her one day. And hopefully, Roman would soon be brought to justice. Speaking of the thief, she wondered what he was doing right now.

---

"Just one more!" Fuchsia cried out as she held on the slot machine as if her life depended on it. "I can win it all back!"

"This was not part of the plan Pinky!" Roman, who was in his disguise which was just him being naked, was trying his best to pull Fuchsia off the machine as a crowd gathered around them both and spectated the show. "We have to go now, Oum damn it! I have a lot of work back in Manehattan!"

"No, I can do this! Just one more!"

"Grimm attack!" A pony near the entrance screamed, much to Roman's displeasure.

"You've got to be kidding me!" The thief silently cursed at the gods above for putting him into another situation like this. In the middle of the city of all places. How in the world did they get into Canterlot!?

The whole room turned to chaos as a couple of Beowolves stormed in and attacked anyone that their eyes landed upon. Even though the destruction was very close to him, Fuchsia still refused to let go. The casino was already on fire even though the attack just started. And as the chaos and destruction continued, Roman swore he could hear the gods above mocking and laughing at him in his predicament.

"I need a drink..."

Author's Note:

Doppelganger and such, Weiss enters the picture for today! Will she return for future chapters? Who knows.

Next chapter, Roman fricken dies!