Criminally Stupendous

by dudenotactive


Bad Days Bites Back

The ursa tried to take a bite out of Dash, but the pegasus was too quick in the air. She flew circles around the Grimm until she slashed its throat with the kitchen knife in her hoof. It was pretty sharp, and it did the job. Another Grimm went down, all thanks to her new-found powers, which was given to her by Roman.

Speaking of which, the thief himself was just sitting on a decaying beowolf with a damaged book in his hooves. He was just reading it, not caring about her or the ursa she just took down.

"It ain't dead Skittles."

Just as he had spoken, the ursa shot back up and made an attempt to grab Dash with her back turned. Luckily, she was faster than the large bear and flew straight into the sky before plummeting down with the knife in front of her as she fell towards the ursa. With her weight and aura, the knife dug deep into the eye and Dash felt the tip touching the back of the skull.

With the ursa finally dead, Dash pulled the knife out with a grunt. Thanks to aura, she felt faster than before, as if she could fly across Equestria and still have the energy to do it again!

It only took a minute for Dash to learn about aura, not only that, she was also good with the knife. Roman told her to follow his stance and hold the knife with her right hoof. He showed her moves that she had never seen before, and what's more, he was quick with the knife.

Earlier when he was still showing her the ropes, Roman took the knife from her and he was quick when he encountered a random griffon, Roman had wasted no time and gutted the griffon with a series of slashes like it was nothing.

It is also worth noting that he insulted the griffin as it died.

Back to the present, Roman closed the half eaten book and made his way over to Dash. He poked the Grimm with his cane, and smiled.

"Nice work Skittles! You're a faster learner than Trixie!"

"Were those notes for Trixie or something? Because, it looked like it was for toddlers, the way you wrote it I mean."

Roman groaned for a second. "Yeah... Trixie is kinda... slow."

Dash snorted a laugh. "What, really? Give me a little detail of how bad she is."

Roman placed a hoof on his head and a frown had developed on his face as he recalled a memory with the unicorn. "There was this one time where she couldn't answer a math problem. And let me tell you, 3x3 is not that hard."

The pegasus before him burst into a fit of laughter as she learned more about Trixie. But she was quickly silenced when Roman whacked her on the face. "Ow! What's the big idea!?"

"Even if Trixie is a bit slow, she is still a better student than you."

"So wait, Trixie also has an aura?" Dash asked him, hoof caressing her cheek, the spot where Roman had struck her.

"Yes, and let's leave it at that."

The thief continued forward, he could see in the distance that some griffons were blasted out of the sky by a pillar of light. He knew that it was Twilight, but he wondered to himself of how long could the unicorn continue with the onslaught of Grimm.

Just then, a trio of beowolves had rounded a corner, they howled once they'd found the wicked soul that was within Roman. He smirked as he twirled his cane, watching them as they charged towards him.

"Skittles," Dash looked over to Roman. "Leprechaun Slam!"

Rainbow Dash grinned upon hearing his words, Roman dashed towards the charging wolves. Dash flew up high, a rainbow trailed behind her as she arced towards the three Grimm. Just as Roman was close, Dash blinked towards the wolves with speed that could be compared to light. She crashed into the small pack and a flash of lightning struck her with the wolves and flung the Grimm away.

Roman slid into the middle of it all and grabbed two by the tail with his hooves while his right wing held the last and brought them together with one mighty slam. And before they could even land on the ground, their throats were sliced open by Dash and her trusty kitchen knife.

And that was it, one quick combos that took the Grimm out in a snap of a finger. Dash was impressed with both of them, the way they executed the combo was like clockwork, a combo that was perfect for four beowolves that aren't too big for Roman.

"That. Was. AWESOME!" Dash couldn't hide her excitement, the adrenaline still present in her veins.

"Yeah, it was. Gotta say, we make a great team!"

"Heck yeah we do! And I can't wait to fight Grimm with you after this!" Dash was very giddy.

Roman sighed. "No can do Skittles, I'm more of an anti pony type of fighter. My cane is not made to fight Grimm, and besides, you can take care of them yourself by the time we're done."

"But you're so good at this! And you know more about them than any egghead on the planet, and trust me, if Twilight doesn't know, then nobody does." Dash had a point, he was great against the Grimm. "And let me tell you, Twilight is the smartest pony in Ponyville, even in Canterlot!"

"I know so much about the Grimm because I had studied on Grimm for three years of my life, and trust me, I know every Grimm that is recorded in history." He sighed. "I'll be honest, I wish that I could go back and tell myself to throw away the PhD I got because it is practically worthless."

"So wait, you're technically a doctor?"

"In Grimm History? Sure, why not. A doctor for a broken leg? Nope! I can keep the blood in, but that's pretty much it." Roman stopped just to face the pegasus. "And don't call me a doctor, the title doesn't fit me at all."

Dash just nodded as they continued towards the town hall.

"Hey, do you know where I can get some cigars? I only have one left..."

"Dude, don't smoke. They're bad for your lungs."

"Fine, but I still need something for my plan for later."


"Push them back!" The Legionnaire ordered his troops.

At the start of the attack, the mayor had ordered the construction workers to build a wall using materials that were meant for something else, and the results were perfect. Just within a few minutes, a 30 meter tall wall had been made out of bricks and the sturdiest rods of iron. It was enough to keep the ones on the ground out, but they don't know how long.

The guards held their spears with all they've got, a wall of pointy metal was the only thing keeping them away. They pushed and pushed, yet the beowolf on the end of their spears pushed them back instead. The Grimm had scaled the wall in an attempt to get through.

Twilight and Applejack had joined in and helped the guards with the Grimm on their doorstep. Applejack took the closest spear into her own hooves and pushed with all her might as Twilight charged up a spell. Once the Grimm was thrown off the wall, Applejack couldn't help but notice the number of Grimm outside. She didn't count, she just guessed that there were hundreds, and they're here to eat them.

For the first time in her life, Applejack had finally witnessed how much of a threat the Grimm are.

"Where is that reinforcement!?" The lieutenant questioned. "They should be here yesterday!"

"I have already sent a letter to Celestia, I'm sure the Royal Guards would be here in any second!" Twilight made an attempt to assure the lieutenant.

"We don't have seconds! Any moment now, those Shadow Beasts would bust through the walls like a waffle cone!"

"We just need to hold on a little longer! Keep them off the walls, I'll see what I can do to help us!"

"Incoming!" A guard warned the rest as dozens of fireballs rained down on them, a few unicorns in the mix quickly put up a barrier.

"Damn it! Someone get those manticores out of the sky!" The lieutenant demanded.

Twilight and Applejack quickly retreated back inside the town hall, where they saw almost every pony in the town, most were sent below into the basement. A room that was made spacious enough to keep half of the populace. While the rest were held up here on the ground level.

"Twilight!" Rarity rushed over to her fellow unicorn. "Rainbow Dash never came back yet!"

Twilight gasped. "What!? Then where is she!?"

"If she ain't here, then that girl is still outside!" Applejack spoke, and the others went wide eyed as they remembered where they had sent the pegasus.

Twilight quickly rushed over to the commanding officer who was busy patching up an injured guard with a dislocated foreleg. "Feather Storm, we need your help!"

"Can't you see I already have enough problems!?" The guard snapped at her as he snapped the injured pony's leg back into his socket.

"But Rainbow Dash is still out there!"

"You know who else? Our captain!" He said as he walked away to check on other things outside. "About an hour ago, Captain Bronze Oak went M.I.A. And we have no idea what happened!"

"Then he and Dash are still out there!" She tried to reason with him as she and her friends followed the guard. "We can form a search party!"

"And expose them to the enemy behind the walls!? I would rather kiss a Shadow Beast!" Feather Storm quickly climbed the ladder to the top of the wall and took
a look at the current situation.

The guard nearly fell off the wall as it shook, he was quick to regain his balance and looked over to the right to find a few beowolves slamming themselves against the wall. Storm scoffed as he watched them do it once more.

"Someone blast those wolves to next month!"

And as if the universe was insulting him, a manticore had swooped down and snatched the guard off the wall. Every Legionnaire on the wall could only watch in terror as the manticore wrapped its paws on Storm, and Twilight and her friends ran quickly as they could to aid the guard. But just as the Grimm was about to fly off with its new meal, it was struck by lightning and was shot out of the sky.

The Grimm fell right in front of Twilight and the others, Storm was free from its grasp. And on top of it was Rainbow Dash herself.

"Did somebody order a can of pure awesomeness?" Dash grinned as she glowed a cyan color. She stood on two hooves just like Roman, her forelegs crossed in front of her chest.

"Rainbow Dash!" Her friends cheered up once they'd learned that she was here, and she was safe.

"RD, you had all of us worried for nothin'!" Applejack said.

"Rainbow Dash, how did you do that!?" Twilight questioned.

"Hold that thought!" Dash hopped off the manticore and went over to its head.

There she raised the knife and quickly brought it down into its eye, killing the manticore instantly.

"Woah there RD, what's with the kitchen knife?" Applejack took a step closer.

"Oh, Roman told me to use it."

Applejack's eyes went wide. "Roman!? Wait, where is he right now!?"

Dash blew raspberry as she walked over the guard and towards the farmer. "Roman? There's absolutely nothing to be worried about! He told me that he has this big plan!"

"Alright..." The guard groaned as he rose back to his hooves. "Let's hear it then."

"Well, all we have to do is stay positive!"

They stared at her for a second, the noisy monsters could be heard from outside as the four became silent.

"No really!" She waved her hooves around. "Roman said that these Grimm monsters are attracted to negative emotions, and all we have to do is make everyone positive so the Grimm would leave us alone!"

"And what makes you so certain that this Roman guy is telling you the truth!?" The guard was skeptical, who wasn't?

"Because he's over there." Dash pointed a hoof towards a house in the distance, on top of a cloud stood a very interesting pegasus.

Roman had his cane hanging on his elbow as he fiddled with what looked like a megaphone. What was really strange was that no Grimm would even look at him as all of their attention was solely on the walls that kept them from the delicious pieces of meat inside the town hall. Not even the manticores and griffins give a single glance.

"By Celestia... it's like he's invisible..." The guard tried to understand, but his mind couldn't do so.

"Well I'll be a ripe apple in winter..." Applejack muttered.

Dash grinned as she faced her friends. "See!? Now where's Pinkie?"

As Pinkie's name was mentioned, a pink blur had zoomed out of the building and towards them. "Sergeant Pie, reporting for duty!"

"Pinkie, we need you to make everyone in that building smile! Roman told me that the amount of negative emotions here is bad for his plan!"

"What exactly is his plan?" Twilight inquired.

"Just wait and see." Dash gave her an answer before facing the party pony. "Alright Pinkie, get in there and make 'em happy!"

"You got it!" Pinkie saluted once more before buying away to do what was requested.

"This is gonna be awesome!" Dash couldn't hide her enthusiasm. "Keep this safe Twilight, I'll need it after I come back!" She gave Twilight a notepad and flew off towards Roman.

"Dash, wait!" Twilight tried to call for her, but the pegasus was already too far.

"Alright..." The guard grunted with displeasure. "Let's just get this over with!"

"Oh, my!" Rarity swooned over Roman. "What a courageous stallion! Don't you agree Applejack?"

Applejack smiled as she glanced over to Roman in the distance, something inside her felt warm as she watched him. "As much as Ah don't understand what's runnin' in that boy's head, Ah appreciate that Roman would risk his life out there. Just hope nothin' bad happens..."


Roman furrowed his brows. The whole picture reminded him of Vale, the night when the Grimm had finally attacked. The night where he died on top of the Atlesian airship. And it reminded him that Red had probably escaped, unlike him.

The thief stopped himself, he cleared out his mind of all negativity, or else the Grimm would notice him.

He still needed his plan to fall into place. His hoof had reached for the last cigar in his jacket, but he resisted the urge to use it. Roman only had one, and this wasn't the time to just pull it out. There was too much work to be done, and right now, he just wanted to finish it.

A flash of lightning caught his attention, and in the distance, he could see Dash speaking with her friends. He smiled, Roman was truly proud of her progress. Before they had met back in the tavern, Dash couldn't even handle something as easy as a boarbatusk. But now, she just snapped the spine of a very unlucky manticore.

And unlike Trixie, Dash was more interested in learning how to fight with a weapon in her hands hooves.

From what the thief could understand, Dash's semblance was lightning. She could generate electricity as well as becoming light itself which is solid enough to perform a devastating tackle. It was simple, yet impressive, though Roman couldn't really tell how the semblance affects her aura. He had seen her use it dozens of times, and she showed no sign of fatigue at all. And Roman honestly had high hopes for Dash, and he rooted for her. But he would definitely fight her soon, he had the advantage, so there was nothing to be worried about.

"Hey Roman!" Before Roman knew it, Dash had returned. There was no trouble with her journey to Roman, not a single Grimm showed any interest for her as she flew. "I did what you asked me to, and Pinkie is already doing what she does best!"

"Cotton is such a sweet girl, it makes me happy just hearing about it!" Roman snapped his feathers like snapping his fingers, though he had no idea how. "Alright, time for phase 2!"

"Heck yeah!" She cheered, but then she just realized something. "Wait, what's the plan anyways?"

"Eh, I think you can already tell." That was his answer, the hoof that held the megaphone shook in front of Dash to give her an idea.

"Oh..." She said as she understood. "Before we do this, I have been wondering... What do you think of Applejack?"

"Well, when compared with you and the other four, she's the least appealing by looks in the group. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"What? No, that isn't what I wanted at all."

"Then what?" He raised a brow as he lifted the megaphone to his face.

"Ugh! Never mind!"

"Alright, let's just get this started!"


Twilight scanned the notes, her eyes couldn't believe what she was reading. Her brain was absorbing new information. Though the way it was written was strange, she was still very excited to read something like this. An unknown power within the soul, and from what she could tell, Dash had this power. And from the name that was written on the back, this notepad belonged to Roman Torchwick. She smiled as there was other information on it as well.

A few pages had some info about a place called "Vale", wherever that place is.

Childish doodles in some pages that depicted a shattered moon, and a stick figure of what Twilight guessed as Roman himself. There were also other doodles, such as what she could tell was a hooded girl, one that wielded a giant scythe. There were words on it, threats and insults towards the hooded doodle.

There was so much things on it that Twilight could not hold herself back. She brought out her own notepad and started copying every single thing on Roman's note. These were important, and she needed to find out how to achieve the power of aura.

Just as she touched the notepad with the tip of her quill, a very painful screech had filled the open air. All eyes were trained towards a cloud where the sound originated, even the Grimm had turned to face a pegasus with an orange mane.


Roman inhaled, the smell of dumb Grimm mutts was in the air. He took a second before his mouth opened to speak. "Why did the faunus get kicked out of the diner!?" His voice was heard by every single one, many guards gave him a strange look. "Because of cannibalism!"

Dash slapped her own face with her hoof. Twilight tried to understand what exactly a faunus was. And the guards, they were judgemental at first, but then they noticed the Grimm acting so strange.

"Really? Tough crowd!" Roman snickered to himself. "How about this! My ex-wife still misses me! But her aim is getting better!"

A lone guard chuckled a little, but was silenced by the glare from the others.

"Sheesh, what do you mutts want from me!? You want me to sing!? Sing about death, death, devil, devil, evil, evil songs!?"

"Roman, why are you doing this? You're embarrassing yourself!"

"Easy there Dash, just trying to have some fun before we get chased like rats." Roman grinned as he faced the crowd of Grimm that stared. "I hate Grimm, I hate griffons, I hate that everything on this planet is so colorful. I hate how this place is corrupting my head! I hate that I was zapped into this situation by Trixie! I hate that I had to stay up at night to do important things to ensure my survival! I hate that I only have my emergency cigar left! I hate that I don't have hands anymore! I hate that Red won in our fight and now I'm in this world! I hate that Cinder got her way and I got sent here! And I hate Twilight Sparkle for causing this Shadow Beast invasion!!!"

"What?" Nearly everyone asked as their eyes landed on Twilight Sparkle as she smiled sheepishly, not sure why it was her fault at all.

Then the wave of Grimm roared, it was so loud that it shook the earth itself. That was when Twilight and her friends knew that Roman had just planted a big target on himself. The horde wasted no time and had charged towards Roman and Dash.

"That's our cue!" Roman tossed the megaphone aside and flew off the cloud and away from the Grimm.

"I hate you." Dash muttered as she followed Roman's tail.

The Grimm horde that chased after them razed the buildings as they passed, hundreds of monsters destroying homes like it was nothing thanks to their numbers. Roman glanced back as he dodged a fireball, he clicked his tongue and shot the manticore that tried to burn his jacket. It was his only one on this planet, and he'd be damned if he loses it.

Everyone back at town hall couldn't believe it, what was once a field of black and white, was now back to its original state. No Grimm in sight as they all chased after Roman. Twilight then knew what Roman meant when he mentioned her. The day before, she remembered how the thief was irritated, so much that she saw a killing intent in his eye.

"Alright boys!" The guards turned towards Feather Storm. "Let's fix things up and fortify our defence!"

"What now Twilight?" Rarity spoke.

"We need to help Roman and Dash, but this would be dangerous." Twilight said with determination in her eyes.

Applejack traced the brim of her hat with a hoof, a smirk on her face. "Don't need to tell me twice, sugarcube."

"Rarity?"

"I'm sorry dear, but I don't believe I'm meant for fighting Shadow Beasts." Rarity sadly declined.

"I understand." Twilight nodded. "Let's go Applejack!"

"Not without us you aren't!"

"Feather Storm?"

Storm scowled, behind him were four Iron Legion guards. "That's right! Me and other Legionnaires can't just leave a breathing pony to those foul Shadow Beasts!"

"Your bravery is deeply appreciated." Twilight smiled.

With that, the group set off to help Roman and Dash in their plan to rid the Grimm. And hopefully, Roman's plan would be a success. But something was within the horde, something different from the other Grimm beasts.