//------------------------------//
// Two New Threats 
// Story: Criminally Stupendous 
// by dudenotactive 
//------------------------------//

"You have to be joking!"

Roman's eye twitched a little as he stared at Trixie who had a sheepish look on her face. His sombrero slipped a little to the side, his fake moustache nearly fell once he learned something unbelievable. Trixie was also wearing the same disguise as Roman, fake moustache and all. 

Both criminals were just enjoying their time in the city, they were leisurely walking about Manehattan, getting some fresh air and stretching their legs, Roman had enough being cooped up in the hideout. 

Humiliated by the subject, Trixie slipped her sombrero down to hide her face. "Trixie doesn't even understand how it works! All Trixie knows is, it just does!"

"How is that even possible!?"

"I just don't know, okay! Let's just forget it..."

"So, that time you showed up at Ponyville was because of her?" Roman's mouth twitched a little as he tried to understand. "I thought you had been practicing your magic."

"Roman, can we forget the subject and just go for some peanuts?" 

Roman sighed. "Yeah, it would be better."

As both were walking through the city minding their own business, a random stallion had rudely ran through between them, his saddle bags shook loudly as he dashed away. Trixie quickly turned to complain at the stallion as he ran further away. 

"Watch it you idiot!" She yelled, but her words couldn't reach the stallion. 

"Some people just don't have manners in this city." Roman scoffed. Before he could even say another word, his eyes had landed at a street light that he had passed a second ago. Right on top of it was a small nevermore, Roman's face contorted into a grimace. You gotta be kidding me. 

"Hey, that's a weird looking bird!" Trixie pointed out. 

"That's a nevermore Grimm, as to why it's here, I got a hunch." Roman continued forward, ignoring the Grimm that watches him with red glowing orbs. "That damn beowolf is smarter than it looks."

"You mean the one we fought?"

"There's only one reason why a Grimm isn't pecking someone's eye out right now, it's to keep an eye on me." Trixie's face blanched upon Roman's theory. "Damn wolf is probably waiting outside the city for another chance."

"Should we inform the Iron Legion? They are adept against these Grimm beasts. Or so I heard."

"And be forced to wear orange? God no!" Trixie flinched a little from the sudden increase of volume from Roman's voice. "I rather not risk it, there's no telling what they can do."

"Alright..."

"Let's just get some peanuts, I need some salt right now."




"So what did you wish to tell me, your highness." Ironwood spoke, he stared at the alicorn across the large oval table. 

Twilight and her friends sat on one side while a few Legionnaires sat on the other. The guards wore a hardened look as they awaited for their princess to speak. Bronze Oak and Feather Storm stood on Ironwood's side, as it was customary for every meeting held in the headquarters. Oak was Ironwood's right hand man, while Storm was his personal scout. Both were his most trusted guards in the regiment, good soldiers who followed every order and command. 

Applejack had her brand new weapon with her, the deadly shotgun rested on her shoulder as she sat comfortably on her chair while her pistol/rifle was placed on the table. This garnered some respect from the Legionnaires across her. Some even gave her a light nod and a smirk to show her that she was welcomed to the regiment. While a few gave Dash a very peeved off look. Dash returned the favor by sticking out her tongue at them, this increased the tension between her and the small number of guards. 

Luna was about to speak, but a pony in a grey uniform had just entered the room pushing a trolley with a steaming kettle. The room was silent as the pony served them the tea, Rarity eagerly accepted and gave a quiet "Thank you." to the pony. 

"Coffee. Black." Ironwood ordered as the pony reached him. They quickly prepared his order and served him a hot cup of strong coffee. 

Once finished with their task, the pony quickly but carefully leaves the room. 

Luna cleared her throat, then she spoke. "I have been speaking with Torchwick."

This caused an uproar with the guards. The Legionnaires spoke loudly to each other and to the princess. Their voices clashed as they gave their opinions and suggestions. The Elements were taken aback by how chaotic the guards became with each other. One had even tried to stand up, but instead they had slipped and slammed their own face against the table spilling hot tea on themselves. The others simply ignored the unconscious guard and continued to bicker with each other. 

"That crook!? Then we should just drag him into jail right now!" One spoke. 

"No, it's better to conscript him, he showed both skills and knowledge!"

"Are we taking criminals in now!? I thought the Legion knew better!?" Another argued. 

Ironwood's hoof slammed against the table and the guards went silent as a mouse. 

"May I ask how and why, your highness?" Ironwood leaned forward on the table, his eyes hardened as he listened intently to Luna. Applejack did the same, her friends followed as everyone had been curious to Luna's explanation. 

"A few days ago, I had discovered his realm of dreams. There we conversed." Ironwood cocked a brow. "At first, I was simply curious as to who this pony was. But then I've discovered more than I expected." Her eyes shot towards Twilight, the unicorn froze under her gaze, none had noticed this as they were too focused on Luna. "Roman Torchwick is not from this world."

The whole room gasped, the guards nearly erupted once more but we're quickly silenced by Ironwood. 

"What the hay?" Applejack cursed. 

"Wait, that kinda explains a lot of things..." Dash pointed out. 

"An alien?" Pinkie frowned. "But Roman isn't even green."

The three were quickly hushed by Storm. 

"Elaborate." One single word, Ironwood was straight to the point. 

Luna nodded. "A unicorn had meddled with reality across the dimensions." Dash for a second did not have a clue to who the unicorn was, that is until a light bulb lit up in her mind, she was not alone, the rest of her friends had swiveled their heads towards the only unicorn strong enough to commit something so grand. Twilight then flashed her friends with a sheepish smile before Luna continued. "Roman Torchwick was summoned here by a powerful unicorn, not only that, he is not even a pony. But a strange creature that is called a 'human', the summoning spell tampered with his body and transformed him into a pegasus stallion, giving him a sense of anonymity among the ponies. Using this new form of his, he is able to hide among us."

"Do we have a lead on who this unicorn is?" Ironwood inquired. 

"Yes," Luna nodded, she stood up on her hooves and turned towards the cause of Roman's appearance. "isn't that right Twilight Sparkle?"

Half of it was already staring at Twilight, now all of it was focused on her. She shrunk on her seat as everyone stared at her, then she shyly grinned at them. 

"I have to say Twilight Sparkle, I knew you had great potential," Ironwood complimented her. "but never have I thought you could bring an alien into our world. Show me."

Twilight's eyes widened, Ironwood's gaze quickened the pace of her heart. "R-right now?" She asked. 

Ironwood stood up then took a few steps back. "Yes." The guards followed their leader, the chairs they were seated in screeched as they got off of it and moved away from the table, their hooves tapped against the floor loudly and then it went silent as they stood waiting. 

Luna mimicked Ironwood's decision and stood far from Twilight. 

Twilight swallowed a lump in her throat as Ironwood and his guards waited, a sweat ran down her cheek as she nervously climbed off her seat. A hoof was placed on her shoulder, she looked to her side to find Dash standing next to her. Dash gave her a nod as the others chose to stay by her side. She smiled meekly. "Thanks..." She whispered. 

"No problem!" Dash smiled back at her. 

"Really darling, did you honestly believe we would leave your side?" Rarity smirked.

"Besides," Applejack spoke. "you look like a badger stuck in a tuba!"

"Ha!" Pinkie snorted a laugh. "Tuba."

"Anytime now, Sparkle." Ironwood frowned. 

Before Dash could even say a word, Twilight had raised a hoof to stop her. "Alright, General. I will now attempt to summon a creature from Roman's world. Any requests?"

Ironwood pondered for a second, then he met her eyes with a passive look. "Bring me someone who could talk."

Twilight nodded, her horn glowed for a second, then poof! She was gone. But before anyone could say a word, Twilight had immediately returned, but she had brought with her a book. She quickly flicked through the pages before stopping at the one she was looking for. Twilight laid down the book on the table, her horn flickered alight. 

Luna waited with curiosity, she wondered what kind of creature Twilight would summon, all she could do was watch. 

Twilight started muttering something under her breath, words that were foreign to Ironwood. Twilight's horn started sparking, a purple lighting arched around the room as everything started to glow pink, then red. The lightning from her horn struck the table, and as if it was a pen it drew a circle on the table itself. The guards muttered amongst themselves as they saw it carve a symbol on the table. 

Ironwood eyed it carefully, it was a head of a beast, one that looked ferocious, three claw marks were cut into the symbol. Giving it an intimidating design. That's when Ironwood had a strange feeling in his gut, somehow the symbol reminded him of Grimm, the way it looked as if it was owned by savages. The General glanced at his two trusted soldiers, they nodded back at him and drew their weapons out. Noticing this, Applejack quickly hopped away and raised her pistol towards the middle, her sudden shift had caused the rest of the guards to prepare their own weapons. 

Dash and the rest of her friends were too busy being awed by Twilight's performance to notice the change in the air. Luna simply waited for the results. 

Soon enough, the lightning stopped and started forming a ball of purple light. Luna's eyes widened, her horn lit up and the light changed to blue, this almost broke Twilight's focus but she simply continued with the spell. 

And with an anti climatic pop, the light vanished. In its place was a brown stallion with a short chestnut mane, he wore a simple white shirt and a green apron. The stallion stood on his hind hooves and held a broom on the other. A pair of round glasses was on his snout, and his cutie mark was also just a pair of round glasses. What was really worth noting was that he had a pair of floppy ears on the side of his head, giving him a total of four ears. 

He stared at Twilight for a second, then screamed loudly as he defensively raised his broom. "Oh god, what the hell!?" He screamed. 

"Calm down now! I know this looks weird, but we can answer all of your questions if you just put down the broom." Twilight tried her best not to look menacing, but somehow it failed as the strange stallion bonked her on the head with the broom. 

"Hey!" Dash scowled, only to be slapped by the same broom. "That does it!" Before she could even pounce on him, Ironwood had simply ripped the broom out of the stallion's hooves. 

"That's enough." He frowned. 

That's when things turned weird. The stallion screamed as tears rolled down his cheeks, he quickly dived to the floor and bowed before the General. All eyes were on him as he cried. "I'm sorry!"

"What?" Oak cocked a brow as he stepped closer to the weeping stallion. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry,  I'M SORRRRRRRRYYYYYY!" He apologized. "Please don't kill me, General Ironwood!"

"How do you know my name?"

The stallion raised his head, eyes red from the tears. "Y-you don't know?" He rose back to his two hooves, but quickly shifted to four. "Now that I think of it, you aren't James Ironwood."

"Enough with the riddles."

"So-sorry... Wrong guy." He smiled sheepishly, then it just clicked. "Wait, this isn't Vacuo! And you guys aren't even human or faunus!"

"Who the heck are you anyways!?" Dash asked as she tried not to jump at the stallion and slam her hoof on his face.

"I'm Perry..." He paused for a second, his eyes caught the symbol etched on the table. "Are you guys White Fang?"

"No," Ironwood answered. "We are the Iron Legion, the main line of defence against the Grimm."

"Oh, you got Grimm problems too?" 

"What can you tell me about the Grimm?" Ironwood glared at Perry. 

Perry simply shrugged his shoulders. "I never studied on Grimm..."

"I see."

Luna then enters conversation, starting with a question for Perry. "Do you know who Roman Torchwick is?"

Perry froze, then he stared at her intently. "He's alive!?" A smile cracked on his face. "I knew it!" Then he frowned. "Great, he's alive..."

"You seem to take this situation rather lightly." Luna pointed out. 

Perry shrugged his shoulders. "Life sucks back home. Maybe this place is better. No humans right?"

"None, unless you count Torchwick who is a human in pony skin. Just like you."

Perry scowled. "I'm not a human lady, I'm a faunus! And what do you mean just like-" His eyes wandered down to see hooves instead of hands of feet. Then he fainted. His body came crashing down against the hard floor with a loud thud, Fluttershy and Rarity flinched while the others only watched him land on the solid ground. 

The General sighed. "Take him to the infirmary, and interrogate him once he wakes up, find out anything useful from this... creature." Ironwood motioned for his guards and gave them his order. 

"Aren't we gonna send him back?" Twilight questioned. 

"Can you?" Was all it took to silence the unicorn. In truth, Twilight had not even tried to reverse her spell, not once had she thought of it. The idea had never crossed her mind once. 

"This will be important Twilight." Luna returned to her seat. "Everyone, return to your seat. Ironwood, I would like that your most trusted stay in this room while the rest leaves."

Ironwood nodded at her, then he nodded to the other guards, most had left, leaving only three guards in the room, not counting Storm and Oak as they stood where they belonged. Once the door closed and the last guard had already left, Ironwood faced Luna expectantly. 

"Applejack?" Luna called out to the farm pony. 

"Yes, princess?"

"What do you know about aura?"




"And then Trixie slammed the ninja against the wall, right after I dodged their attack!" Trixie playfully swung her hoof across her as Roman listened to her story. "Then the ninja ran away and Trixie shot them with a rocket! Flim and Flam gasped as Trixie escaped through the doors of the bank, right into enemy territory!"

"But Lisa told me you had a bruise on your face when you got back into the hideout. I'm pretty sure the ninja got you back there."

Trixie scoffed. "She must have thought wrong! Trixie was probably just tired and she had mistaken the bruise for something else!"

"Deny it all you want Trix', by the end of the day, your magic skills are below-"

"Shut up!" She hissed. "I am better than her, you'll see! Trixie will outshine her and then I will be the one who defeats Twilight Sparkle, not that damn- hey, it's that guy!" Her hoof shot up and pouted itself towards the stallion from before, he was occupied with speaking to some peanut salesman that he didn't notice the two criminals approaching him. 

Once he was done ordering some peanuts, he turned around and was met with a very angry Trixie with a moustache and a sombrero. "Oh dear..."

"'Oh dear' is right buster!" She glared at him and her horn lit up under her sombrero. "Someone outta teach you some manners!"

"I-I would like to advise you not to do that, miss. Attacking a poor defenceless pony such as me would truly tarnish your reputation." He said. 

"Tri- I mean... Cobalt decides to do whatever Cobalt pleases!" But before she could even cast a harmful spell, her hoof slipped on something and she came down with a loud thud, her face planted against the pavement. 

The stallion took this moment to run away, Trixie launched off the ground to tackle him, but her hoof was just out of reach. Roman only watched as Trixie face planted on the pavement for a second time, he chuckled lightly as the stallion escaped.

"Having fun down there?"

"That damn dolt got away!"

"That's your problem." Roman shrugged his shoulders. "At least we got something out of it."

Trixie cocked a brow, she got up to her hooves and made sure her disguise was in place. "What's that?"

Roman raised a sketchbook up. "I tried to steal his bits, but I only managed to get this."

"Ooh! Maybe we can steal his art!" Trixie swiped the book from Roman and opened it to see what sketches it holds. 

"You do that while I go buy us some peanuts."

"Roman wait!" Trixie jumped into his path and shoved the sketchbook onto his face. "Look!"

"Damn it Cobalt! What exactly is so important that-" His eyes widened, his breath hitched, and his heart quickened. The beat was so loud in his chest that he could practically hear it in his ears. "What?"

The sketch that really had Roman's attention was something he had not expected in this world. On the page was a detailed sketch of a human, more accurately, a girl with an oversized garden tool. It depicted her standing over a decaying nevermore that had its head severed. 

"Red..." He muttered, then he noticed a name written on the top right corner. "Ruby Rose? What a dumb name."

"That's a human right? Just like from what you described!" Trixie asked as she leaned against Roman's face to get a good look at the sketch. Trixie used her magic to turn the page, her eyes widened as she saw what was on it. "That looks like you!" She exclaimed. 

Roman scoffed. "That is me. As much as I am happy to see my handsome face, we have bigger problems to solve." Roman shoved the book into Trixie's hooves and stared off towards the direction the stallion had run. "And I want some answers."