• Published 26th Aug 2019
  • 2,976 Views, 147 Comments

Criminally Stupendous - trustissues



Roman thought it was the end for him, but in a strange twist of fate the thief somehow lives. Sadly, dying wasn't enough for him to rethink his life of crime, and now he's back at it again.

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Roman's New Trix

Trixie sat by the campfire that she had prepared for the night, her wagon was parked right behind her. They were almost about to reach the docks to Manehattan, but it was already getting late in the night to even go forward. She could see the docks in the distance with the city farther back, both illuminated brightly in the darkness, like a beacon to those who are lost. It was an awe inspiring view, Trixie had always did enjoy some of her travels, how she would always come across all sorts of things.

And across the mare and over the fire was her current source of headache, Roman Torchwick. The stallion himself was busy staring at the night sky, as if something had stolen and kept his attention.

Trixie was only a little bit of curious as to why he stared at the sky, she turned to face the same direction where his eyes were locked on and found Luna's moon shining upon them both. She was actually enthralled as well, the sight was truly amazing. The beauty that the moon held was captivating, she couldn't look away. She felt something in her stomach, Trixie felt as if her worries are starting to dissipate completely. Like she hasn't had any to begin with. Though she is mad that she had to follow around some nobody, she felt serene and relaxed as she kept her eyes trained on the moon.

That is until her stomach growled, causing them both to snap out of their tranquil moment. Roman switches his attention towards the unicorn, with his single brow raised. Trixie felt her cheeks flushed in embarrassment and quickly pulled down her hat with her hooves just to cover her face. She can't let that fool see her in a moment of weakness.

"Hungry?" He asked nonchalantly.

"What does it sound like to you!" She said without even letting go of her hat.

"Don't you have any food? I'm a little famished myself."

"As much as it is embarrassing to say, Trixie does not have any food."

"Really? You were planning to go to some big city, but you don't have food at all?" He sounded disappointed, Trixie wanted to say something, but she knows that he would just laugh at her face, like everyone else. "Oh sigh, my dear apprentice, what would you do without me?"

As she had expected, he was making fun of her small mistake. To be fair, she doesn't really have any bits. Trixie wanted to tell him that, but her expectations from the pony tells her that he'll just mock her some more.

"Oh Trixie, how shall we go through the night hungry? It would truly weaken our feeble bodies!" He dramatically spoke, his wings moved delicately as he expressed his sadness.

Trixie releases her grip on her hat to glare at Roman. "Why don't you just eat the grass if you're so hungry!?"

Roman only laughed lightly before diving both his hooves into one of his pockets on his jacket, then he took out four granola bars. "Nah, I think I'll have a snack instead, this'll help for the night."

Trixie stared at his snacks with envy, she hasn't eaten any food since this morning and now her mouth salivating by its mere presence. The cover of the granola bars faced her, she could see the label which read as "Schnacks!". It was also chocolate and peanuts, peanuts!. Roman looked away from the snacks to catch Trixie staring, when she noticed his gaze she quickly turned her head away.

"You know Trix'," The unicorn faced him expectantly, in hopes he would share. "you never really did tell me anything about yourself. So how about we get to know each other and I'll share some food, deal?"

Trixie frowned at his offer, she didn't like how he was trying to bribe her with food. But then again, she was too hungry to do anything at all. And with a reluctant nod, Roman tosses two granola bars over the fire and towards Trixie. She then caught both of it in her magic and the mare immediately ripped the plastic open before biting off half of the bar. She chewed the snack gracefully, savoring the taste of both chocolate and peanuts, especially the peanuts. It had been awhile since she even had any of her favorite snacks, peanut butter crackers, but this will do for now.

Roman on the other hand was having trouble with his, his hooves may have used his cane gun without a problem. But he doesn't understand why he couldn't open the plastic that contained the granola bar. An idea came to mind, he held up the snack with his hooves and moved his wings towards it. Slowly and delicately, his wings pinched the plastic tips and he carefully tears it with ease. Roman would then let out an impressed whistle, he just discovered how his wings are practically hands, even though he doesn't understand how the feathers worked at all.

After taking a small bite, he glanced at the mare on the other side of the campfire. She had just finished her first granola bar and was about to eat her second. But Trixie paused when she noticed Roman staring at her.

Roman swallowed down his food before speaking. "So, anything to share to the class?"

Trixie had just forgotten her recent deal with the pegasus, she was just too distracted to even remember. So she cleared her throat to tell him her story, but she won't really tell him everything. "Trixie shall have you know, that she was a student of princess Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns! And that's all you're gonna get from Trixie."

"Really? Never heard of that school before."

"You haven't!? That school is the most prestige school on Equestria! Unicorns who wants to be talented as I dreamed to be enrolled there! Of course a pegasus wouldn't understand, the only things your kind could do is controlling the weather."

Roman raised a brow, he hadn't expected this fact. Even though he has his doubts, he still believed the unicorn. This actually excites Roman, knowing that there is a way for him to control the weather is making him feel glad for being on the planet right now.

"What about you, huh? What cloud did you fall off of?" Roman was snapped out of thoughts by Trixie, he looked at her to find that she had already eaten her second bar.

"I'm from another universe, and all that jazz." He calmly said as he took another bite out of his Schnacks.

"Stop joking." Trixie glared at him, if it was a joke, then she won't be laughing at it.

"And what makes you think I'm joking, or better yet, lying? I'm a man of my word, and a deal was a deal, Trix'."

"Because it was about knowing each other, not telling the truth. Trixie was honest, but you Roman? You are deceitful, and I don't trust you one bit."

Roman grinned. "You're catching on quick, aren't ya'? You don't want to lose a second time, so you're paying attention to every word I say. Be warned though, you might be caught off guard if you just focus on one thing. But I'll be generous, ask me any questions and I'll answer truthfully, and only the truth. If I lie, then you can have three demands that I promise to fulfill."

"Does Trixie have your word? And how shall Trixie know if you are lying?"

"By my name I promise to you that I shall not tell a lie, with Oum and the brothers as my witness."

"Very well, Trixie shall ask you only one question. What do you even need from me?"

Roman's grin fell, now his mouth was just a flat line on his face. He straightened himself and sat in a more comfortable position. "Do you have any friends Trix'?"

Trixie was caught off guard by the question. "Does Trixie have friends? Of course Trixie has friends! Why are you asking me this!? You didn't even answer my question!"

Roman sighed before taking out a single cigar with his wing, he hovered it over the fire to light it and placed it into his lips after. "No you don't." Trixie glared at him, she was about to chew him out for saying so but he continues. "You have a superiority complex, and a personality like yours drives people away. You're a traveling showgirl, friends stay where they are while you yourself have to move to city to city. You don't have room for friends Trixie, because you keep moving and you keep pushing them away. I may not know what happened, but I understand how you feel."

"But what does this have to do with you and I!?" She yelled out, nearly waking up the nearby critters in the vicinity.

"Because we both need friends."

Trixie's eyes widened, she was once again caught off guard by the stallion. She did not expect this answer at all. "W-what?"

He sighed a second time. "Like you Trixie, I don't have anyone, not anymore. I'm all alone in Equestria, I have no one to turn back to. I lost everything that I hold dear to, and was left to wither away on the road. That is until I met you, and in those eyes of yours, I saw a little young filly. She was lonely, just like me. She had no friends... just like Neo..."

"Neo?"

"Its no one, listen, all I'm saying is that you and I are the same. And we both need this, we need some friends in our lives. I'm willing to be yours if you're willing to be mine." Roman wrapped up his answer and exhaled a puff of smoke, making sure not to do it at Trixie's direction.

Trixie herself couldn't really think of anything to say, his words were just as he had promised, they were honest. But she can't just believe it just like that, he was a stranger. Though there was something in the back of her mind that do believe him, sadly she just ignored it. At least she got something out of this, a name of a pony, Neo. She was curious of who they were but Trixie will not ask Roman, maybe next time.

Trixie turned away from Roman and faced her cart. She unclasped her cape and wrapped it around herself like a blanket before turning her hat into a makeshift pillow and lied down on it.

"Trixie is going to sleep." She told Roman.

Roman didn't say anything, he only gazed at the moon above. He silently sat there, smoking his cigar. The fire was the only thing that made any noise, it cracks and pops every now and then. He was thinking over his answer, word by word. Everything he had said was true, he really was alone in this world, and he could tell that Trixie was doubting him. He can't really blame her, even he wouldn't believe himself.

A few minutes went by, Trixie was peacefully snoring away, mumbling something in her sleep. Roman quietly chuckled, then he frowned. He stood up and walked over to her side, the frown still on his face. He gently flips her over to her back, Roman was surprised that she didn't wake up from that. He stared at her sleeping face for a minute, a single thing was running through his mind.

"This is either the worst bet I'll ever make or I'll hit the jackpot in the end." He whispered to himself.

Roman nearly tripped on himself when Trixie stirred a little. "Hmm, yes...Trixie will have a million peanut butter crackers..." She spoke in her sleep.

Roman would have laughed, but it would have woken her up if he did so. "Heh, are all ponies adorable? I hope so." He then gently placed his hoof on Trixie's chest. "I gotta say, Neo would've loved it to be here..."


Today, Trixie had woken up fully rested. She felt as if she herself was a brand new mare that was ready to take on the world. And to make her morning even better, she woke up on the right side of her hammock. Which confused her, she didn't remember going inside her cart last night. She decided to investigate and exited her wagon. Trixie's eyes widened after she took a step outside, she finds herself surrounded by other wagons carrying all sorts of stuff. Some had contained hay, others were crates that obviously held vegetables inside.

After collecting enough information, Trixie came to a conclusion that she was on a ferry boat. The showmare was even more confused as to how she got there at all. But then she remembered her new "friend" that she met on the road. And speak of the devil, there he was, walking towards her on two of his hooves. Some ponies stared at him but Roman seemed to ignore them. Roman's forehooves were holding two cups of what Trixie believes as coffee, while his wings held two plastic bags.

"Morning sunshine!" He greeted her before setting down one of the cups of coffee next to her and also the plastic bags. "Glad you're up, any more sleep then I would've woken you up myself!" He jested.

Trixie ignored him and took the cup in her magic before taking a sip. "Its bitter."

"Well duh, I haven't given you some sugar. That came out weird." He said, and gave her some sugar packs to sweeten her coffee. "Oh right, almost forgot! Here." Roman pushed one of the plastic bags over to her. "There was a guy selling these on the upper floor."

Trixie stared at it and stared at him, she then reluctantly opened the bag. She gasped with delight, inside the bag were a bunch of peanut butter crackers. "R-Roman, how did you know?"

He chuckled. "You talk in your sleep a lot. Always going on and on about those things, so I figured that you liked them."

"And you bought all these for Trixie?" She asked with a much chipper tone in her voice. But then she realized something. "Hey wait a minute! You're just trying to bribe Trixie with these delicious snacks!"

Roman's brow twitched. "Did it ever occur to you that I'm just trying to be nice?"

"Oh no you don't, Trixie won't be fooled by a thief!"

"Shh!" Roman shushed her, he looked around to see if anyone was listening, thankfully no one. "Keep your voice down Trix', or else the party would start way early than I planned. And before you ask, no, I did not steal any of these. The money on the other hand..."

"By Celestia, you are nothing but a criminal. If you keep this up, then you're gonna land yourself in prison."

"What makes you think that you'll be safe?" He grinned devilishly. "You're practically harboring a criminal."

"And what's stopping the great and powerful Trixie from just telling the officers of the law on you?"

"Would you really do that to a friend?" He took another sip from his coffee, the grin still on his face. "Besides Trix', we had a deal."

"A deal that was made on nothing."

"Hmm, growing a bit of backbone are we? I admire that. But I know you wouldn't even do that, especially with your friend."

"You aren't my friend." Trxie let out a growl, her face shifted into a frown.

"Sure I am, I got us tickets to Manehattan, bought you your favorite snack. And I'm even kind enough to stay by your side!"

Trixie glared at him, as much as she hated him, she actually liked his company, even if he was a criminal. She wanted to tell him to jump off the boat and drown, but she decided not to. Trixie didn't feel right with the mix of emotions in her gut.

"Fine." She muttered, but it was loud enough for Roman to hear.

"Wonderful," The stallion wrapped his free arm around her and held her closer to him. "glad you're coming around Trix. Stick with me and you won't go hungry ever again!"

Trixie sighed, she didn't even struggle in his hold, she only accepted her fate. "So, friend" She was reluctant to even call him a friend. "what do you have in plan?"

"Time will come Trix', and I'll tell you when it does. But I can tell you my other plan." Trixie raised a brow in curiosity. "Our first order of business is establish a good source of gold coins, or bits. So, when we get to Manehattan, we are gonna start up a business. I was thinking of maybe some street performance, you know, being a magician and all."

"You want Trixie to perform her amazing and awe inspiring acts on the streets?" She scoffed. "Trixie shall not do as you wish!"

"Well alright then, I'm going to go with plan B I guess."

"And that is what exactly?"

"I'm going to perform! I have a few tricks up my sleeves that can blow those suckers away, and don't worry, I won't outshine you."

"If you're trying to fool Trixie into taking your bait, then just give up, Trixie is too great to fall for your pathetic trap."

"Uh no, I'm actually serious on doing it on my own."

Trixie rolled her eyes before standing up and going inside her wagon with the plastic bag of peanut butter crackers, leaving Roman alone outside. "Fine, do what you want. Trixie does not care at all."

"Alright, but you better pull the wagon on your own when we dock. Honestly, how do you pull that around Equestria all the time? That thing was heavier before I moved you inside."

Trixie only ignored him, she focused on doing her daily morning routines. Which is brushing her mane and coat to perfection. She was too caught up with talking to the thief to even do so, but it was a nice change of pace. At least she had someone to talk to this time, unlike back then.

Trixie stopped brushing for a second, she stared at her own reflection. Roman's face was still lingering in her mind, she contemplated if she really could call him a friend. She glanced at the crackers he had bought just for her, the thought of him going out of his way just to make her happy slightly pleased Trixie. She then went back on brushing her mane, this time with a small smile on her face.

Meanwhile, Roman was eating his last Schnacks he had just outside Trixie's wagon. No one else were around, and he rather not talk to anyone for now. The ponies were a bit too friendly for him, heck, that's how he even got the bits. A couple had invited him over because they liked the way he dressed. Roman was not a man to miss an opportunity. So when they all were chatting about the weather, Roman had not only stolen their bits but their ferry tickets too. He didn't regret it, though seeing them dismayed hit him a bit too hard. So he bought them two tickets with their own money. Though they don't know that, and they were extremely pleased by him, enough to even give Roman coupons for their local cafe. How it all ended greatly for Roman, sadly the thief would probably steal from them a second time.

Unbeknownst to Roman, a tall gray mare in a green suit jacket with a slick black mane that had a single dark gray streak was silently watching him from a few wagons away. She watched Roman's every move with a curious smile. She had been watching him ever since he took a step into the boat, her curiosity had brought her to him. How he had walked and the way he spoke was truly something different. And after hearing him speak with the unicorn, the mare knew that Roman was no ordinary pony. The unknown mare then changed her smile into a wide grin, she had made a decision of keeping a close eye on the pegasus. Whatever he had planned, she will find out. She could see great potential in Roman, and she hoped that he would prove her right.

Author's Note:

So I'm trying to give Roman a semblance and I already thought of a few ideas, just wanted to tell you all.

And some of you who have read my first fic may know who the unknown mare is, so yeah, she's back and much earlier than before.

See ya next chapter.

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