Criminally Stupendous

by dudenotactive


A New Page In Her Life

Roman waited patiently, he sat upon a comfortable recliner in Lucky Spice's home. It was what one would expect from a mare who almost had it all. The room he was in was painted turquoise, the floor had velvet carpeting. And paintings decorated the room, some of which were perfect conversation pieces. A butler would come by a few times to offer Roman some refreshments, but the thief simply declined. 

He was here for business, nothing else. Both he and Spice still remember the moment that transpired back in the bar where she threatened to hold back information he had rightfully earned. There were complications between them. But hopefully Roman would resolve this problem quickly. 

"Oh, when they said that you were here, I thought they were simply lying!" Roman turned towards the doorway where Spice stood. She wore a smile that hid her true emotions. Ever since their first conflict with each other, Roman had managed to break through the wall of lies that Spice had built. He could easily tell if she was honest with her smile. 

"You expected me to avoid a friend? You are mistaken, my dear Spice." He spoke as the mare took a seat just across him. 

"Well, friendship is magic, as many have claimed." No matter how much she hid her true self, Roman could see it in her eyes, that malicious intent. He made sure that he could see her hooves right where he wanted them. 

"And I believe it, it was friendship that allowed me to make a name for myself in this crazy bizarre world of yours." Roman paused the conversation just so he could light a cigar. He took a short drag and huffed out a cloud of smoke. "And where would I be without our friendship?"

"Enough with the formalities Roman," Her smile shifted from fake to vicious. If the person in front of her wasn't a hardened criminal they would've soiled their pants. Good thing Roman found it more like a cute little gesture. "just take your order and be on your way. I have other business to attend to."

"No, you don't." Roman silently chortled. "I checked your schedule and you have nothing planned until tomorrow."

She huffed. "That is quite rude to simply invade a lady's privacy."

"Listen, Greeny, I know that we are having some issues between us. That's why I wanted to make amends. Ten percent."

"Ten percent of what?"

"You aim to make a profit out of my scroll. I have no idea how you managed to make a copy, but I don't care anymore. What I do care about is that you tried to sell it without my consent." Roman sighed. "I understand that a scroll would make tons of bits, and you wanted to keep it to yourself. But that won't do at all. If you plan to make some money out of my own property, then it would be better to give me a small share of the profit. So ten percent, take it or leave it." With that, Roman raised his gloved hoof towards Lucky Spice and waited for an answer. 

She stared at his hoof, contemplating for a minute.

Roman growled for a second as he rolled his eye. "Fine, I'll give you fourteen months before you can start giving me my share."

"Deal!" She caught his hoof with hers and shook it like she was trying to rip his limb off its socket. "Oh Roman, I am so glad that we came to an understanding, I was planning to reveal your hideout to the authorities!"

Roman smirked as he retracted his hoof away, free from Spice's gorilla-like grip. "And I don't have to kill you! Imagine that, where would I even buy the things I need for my heists? Also, the code to disarm the bomb under your chair is the month and day we first met."

"The bomb?" She mimicked his smirk. "Do you mean the one that had been defused by my butler right after you planted it?"

"Oh, you clever girl." Roman wasn't even mad, he was indeed impressed by Spice's workers. Always the best for her. "Alright, with that out of the way, let's begin our business. I require some blueprints for a place I plan to hit soon. But there is a possibility that you won't be able to provide. Can you do it?"

"Roman, with my connections, I am sure that I can provide."


Trixie ducked down in time to dodge Fuchsia's wooden stick. She raised Smoke And Mirrors over her head and brought it down only to be blocked by Fuchsia. The earth mare grunted as she stuttered back a step. With a press of a button, her cane retracted back into the orb allowing it to fall past the stick. Once it crossed Fuchsia's defenses, Trixie used her magic to activate her cane once more, grabbing it by the end she immediately slammed it into Fuchsia's face. Defeating the earth mare. 

Trixie's opponent recoiled back and keeled over with a flop. The magician stood proudly on her hind hooves, her cane rested against her shoulder as she triumphed over her enemy. "Trixie wins again! Huzzah!"

"That's five to zero with miss Trixie in the lead!" Lavender Lace announced for the audience, the Flim Flam brothers. "What an embarrassing display, right folks?"

"Trixie is just far superior to the two of you. I have more experience!" The magician gloated. 

"Yeah..." Fuchsia Blush moaned in pain, she just wasn't getting a break at all. "I'm gonna rest here... Lavender, I'll take my cigarette break right now."

"But you don't even smoke." Lavender pointed out. 

"Let her, she had enough of my grand performance!" Trixie smirked with pride. "And maybe when we have the time, all three of us can practice some magic acts! Trixie always wanted some lovely assistants to help me on stage."

"Oh, I would love to be sawed in half!" Lavender was eager. 

"You hear that? She called me lovely..." Fuchsia was happy for the compliment. "That's going to the vault, yup, never gonna forget this moment."

Flam laughed with his brother. "Hear that Flim? Maybe we can hire those two to perform for our company! Imagine the motivation our employees would have, imagine the profits!"

"I believe so as well, dear brother of mine!" Flim agreed. 

"Really!?" Lavender zoomed towards the twins. "That would be totally awesome! I wanna do so many things like pulling a rabbit out of a hat! Or maybe escaping a tank full of water!"

"Well, as long as you have the training of course!" The moustachio informed her. 

"Hold on now Lavender!" Trixie walked ups to the eager mare's side. "We have to practice first! Allow the Great and Powerful Trixie to help you! With her guidance, you will shine bright like a star! -Not as bright as me though- Forget the simple rabbit trick, think bigger! Let me run a saw through your guts!"

"Yeah!" She cheered while the twins blanched. "Cut me up!"

Flam leaned over to his brother. "We should make sure that no one gets hurt if we ever do go through with it. We would rather not have some problems towards the company." To which his brother nodded with agreement.

Just then the shutter doors were opened and in came Roman, several rolled up blueprints under his arm. He strolled calmly over to the twins and dumped the blueprints in front of them. Trixie tried to greet him but was ignored. "Finn, Dan! I need you two to study my plans over and over!"

"Sure thing boss!" Flam said as he picked up and unrolled a blueprint. Then his eyes bulged out of his head. "R-Roman, this place is..."

"Impenetrable? That's where you two come in! Just read up the plans and do some practice in front of the mirror. I'll be needing you to do a part soon and I need you to be flawless." Roman grinned. 

"But boss, this just seems dangerous, even for us!" Flim said warily. 

"I know, but if this plan works, then the order for Dust would increase! Think of the profits boys, imagine the bits just rolling into our hands!"

And as easy as it was, the twins were swayed over by Roman with his silver tongue. He didn't even need to tell false promises, money was the only thing he needed to mention. He trusted these two to do their part for his upcoming heist. So with nothing else to do, he marched towards the exit. 

"Roman?" Trixie tried to get his attention, but the thief just breezed past her, his eyes stared forward towards space. For the first time since they met, Trixie saw a glimmer of determination in his eye. And for the first time since they met, she felt weird. She stared at Roman as he left, her eyes focused on the thief solely. Even after he was out of sight she stayed frozen. Staring at the entrance where Roman was. "Roman?" She muttered. 

"Trixie?" Lavender was first to notice her odd behavior. She leaned over to her partner. "Hey, miss Trixie is acting weird."

Fuchsia who was still recovering looked over to her partner. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know, she's been really nice ever since Roman came back. Remember when we first started working as her assistants?"

"She was always so confident, proud of her own success even if it is just a minor one. But hold on, she didn't really change much... Though she does become a bit friendlier when Roman is... around..."

"See? Now look at her, I'm starting to see something." Lavender said. 

"No..." Fuchsia found herself in the same wavelength as Lavender. "Oh, no."

"On my god!" Lavender said aloud but she quickly covered her mouth with her hooves. 

"Is something wrong you two?" Trixie asked them.

"Nothing's wrong!" Lavender assured Trixie. "We should do something." She whispered to Fuchsia. 

"Why?" Fuchsia whispered back. "I don't think this is our problem. We should just forget it."

"That's crazy, we're her only friends other than Roman."

"We are?" Fuchsia was doubtful. It had only been weeks, so Fuchsia couldn't tell all that much. Of course, Trixie once treated them to a fancy dinner in one of Lucky Spice's restaurants after Trixie's first solo heist, and Fuchsia enjoyed her meal so much that she became a frequent customer. And it's thanks to her current work that allows her to indulge in such a fancy place. 

"Duh, and plus she helped us a lot. So it's only right for us to pay her back."

"Ugh, fine." Fuchsia finally agreed. 

"Seriously, what are you two doing over there?" Trixie asked. 

"Miss Trixie!" In a blink of an eye Lavender had covered the distance between her and Trixie. Lavender held Trixie's hooves with hers and stared deeply into the magician's eyes. "I promise that Fuchsia and I will help you!"

"Help me? With what?"

"We'll help you earn Roman's affections!"

There was a short pause, Trixie's face was frozen for a second or two. Then her face turned red as it shifted into a look of Shane. "What!?"

"Oh don't pretend you didn't know, I saw how you look at him," Lavender said.

"No seriously, WHAT!?"

Fuchsia, who had finally recovered from her short break, walked up to the two mares. "She's right you know, you always act so passively when Roman's around."

The magician's face flushed red. "That doesn't mean Trixie desires his attention! No, he is simply Trixie's best friend! Trixie is more comfortable around Roman because Trixie trusts him with every bone in Trixie's body!"

"And now Trixie is being defensive." Lavender teased.

"That's it! Trixie will deduct your pay!"

"Go ahead, but that won't give you any chances with Roman!"

"Trixie is warning you!"

Fuchsia sighed, her head dipped down. "If that wasn't the case, then why were you so bummed out when Roman ignored you?"

"Wouldn't you be sad if Lavender ignores you!?"

"Woah, take it easy Trixie. Besides, Lavender and I aren't best friends, we're just coworkers."

"Aw, we aren't?" Lavender asked with a fake frown. 

"Anyway, I'm pretty sure you'd feel a little angry about being ignored, and not act like a deer staring at a laser beam," Fuchsia said. 

Lavender stared at Fuchsia with a strange look. "That's oddly specific, I have not heard of that phrase before."

"A deer freezes up when a laser beam is coming right at them. I've seen that happened twice and- don't just change the subject like that! We have to talk some sense into Trixie!"

"Trixie will not hear anymore of this! Trixie shall go and sharpen her skills elsewhere." Trixie huffed. 

"You can't just run away Trixie, sooner or later you'll have to face facts," Fuchsia said blankly. 

"She's right," Lavender stood in Trixie's way and prevented her from escaping. "if you just bottle up these feelings then it'll become an unhealthy obsession. For all we know, he might actually like you back!"

"And if he doesn't!?" Trixie's aura flashed, her teeth bared at them and her brows knitted. The pair took a step back, surprised by her sudden outburst. Trixie acted so defensive that she practically admitted right in front of them. 

"Sheesh," The three heard someone else speak, yet the voice belonged to one of them. "Might as well scream it to the world at this rate."

All heads turned towards Trixie's clone who was unconsciously brought into reality.

"Honestly, Trixie has more control over Trixie's feelings better than you, and that says a lot because I'm the clone." Great, now there are three of them. Trixie, the original, started to feel furious at all of them. "Just say it and move on, Trixie is hungry."

"Twoxie is right, we can't help you until you ask us," Lavender said. Trixie glared at them, her teeth started to grind with an audible squeak. 

"Of course I'm right, I am indeed the Great and Powerful Trixie. Where exactly did these emotions even start?" The clone wondered. "Hmm, knowing you, it probably started when he offered you his friendship. And then the whole peanut butter crackers, I'm sure that made you like him more. We do love those crackers. Maybe it was the time-"

"Shut up!" Trixie struck her own clone in the face with the rod of her Smoke and Mirrors. The clone was launched into the wall where she bounced off the surface and landed on the cold hard floor with a painful thud. "Fine! I like, like him! So what!? I don't even know when it started, I just woke up one morning, and then he just started to sparkle whenever I looked at him! He's my friend, my only best friend in Equestria! I just... I just don't want to lose him!"

"See, was it so hard to just admit to your feelings?" Lavender asked kindly.

"I don't want to lose him..." Trixie muttered. She ignored Lavender and collapsed onto her stomach, tears started to form in the corner of her eyes. "He didn't even say hello..."

"Woah, okay," Fuchsia raised her hooves. "I didn't think she'd start crying."

"It's a normal reaction for a mare you know?" Lavender glared. "It's as if you haven't fallen in love."

"Love!?" Trixie said before she began to choke on her saliva. "I don't love that dolt! I like, like him! There's a total difference!"

"I'm just glad that you won't cry anymore. That was kinda sad to watch." Fuchsia said blatantly. "The thing is Trixie, he isn't your only friend. Lavender and I are technically your friends even if we barely did anything, and I'm sure the twins can be your friends also if you set aside your differences."

"Yeah, you're right," Trixie said, eyes stared down at the floor. "But you girls weren't there... I... I used to be someone. I was just Trixie the Great and Powerful, not Trixie the Foul and Mischievous. Back then, all I did was perform on a stage in front of crowds. They would marvel at me with hopeful eyes. Praise me, love me, they all wanted more. It was like that until I arrived at Ponyville... That's when my reputation was ruined by a purple unicorn."

She paused for a second just to subside her emotion. Trixie felt something just from thinking about a certain unicorn. 

"After Ponyville, ponies started to treat me differently. People would boo and hiss during my shows instead of cheering. Money started to be a problem, I noticed that it was harder to come by now that ponies avoided my shows... I was alone, I had no one to turn back to but my mother. Yet I didn't dare to go home as a failure. I knew that my career was over... but I still kept going forward. Then I found him, just sleeping in the middle of the road. My first thought was that I'd steal any money or valuables on him and I almost did, but he caught me red hoofed."

Trixie chuckled, Lavender and Fuchsia listened intently and absorbed this new information about their boss. 

"But instead of yelling at me like a common thief, he challenged me to a game for the gems he called Dust. Whoever manages to hide the joker card, wins. At first, I thought I won with no issue, but he had used a loophole in his own rules and I lost all without the aid of magic on his part. After that, Roman tricked me into a state of desperation, he used my moment of weakness to beat me. And I have to say, looking back at it now, I'm actually impressed. That's how he and I met, and from then on, I followed every word he said. I trust him more than anyone in my life."

"Wow, so that's how you two found each other." Lavender was honestly moved by Trixie's story. 

"Guess that's how it started for all of us, huh?" Fuchsia smiled. "Without Roman, the three of us wouldn't have met, so we have to thank him for the friendship we have right now."

"Oh, I knew you'd come around!" Lavender said as she wrapped her arms around Fuchsia who tried to resist only to fail terribly.

"Get off!" Fuchsia said. "We need to focus on Trixie, not whatever this is!"

"Thank you..." Trixie muttered, but it was loud enough for the two to hear. 

"No problem," Lavender smiled brightly. "With us, Roman will be looking at a whole new you!"

With that, the trio began to think up ideas of how to help Trixie in the newest challenge in her life. And what a dreadful challenge it was, there will be some obstacles for sure, but with the power of friendship, they will overcome any problem that comes their way. 

Unbeknownst to the three mares, there was a fourth pony in the building, technically a fifth if you counted the unconscious clone. This mare, older than the rest, had been eavesdropping on the three from behind the wagon, away from their gazes. She sighed deeply as she leaned against the purple wagon. 

"My baby is growing up..." She whispered. 

She was worried, unsure of what she should do. The mare only had a few options, there was just no other way. And all she can do is either accept and allow fate to decide. Or intervene at one point in the story. Sunflower Spectacle hoped that she would make the right choice for the betterment of her daughter's life. A tear ran down her cheek, the idea of Trixie suffering on the road had struck Sunflower right in the heart. She wished that she was there when Trixie was at her lowest, just so Sunflower could embrace her daughter.

But the present is now, and it would seem that Sunflower herself needed to make a choice of her own.