//------------------------------// // Have I Been Here Before? // Story: Criminally Stupendous // by dudenotactive //------------------------------// A pink light flashed in the middle of a grassy field and out came a well dressed pegasus holding teacups in his arms. He let out a pained grunt as he landed right on his back, the teacups slipped off his hooves and were spread around him. He stared at the sky, his head was spinning and he felt sick in his stomach as he experienced teleportation for the first time ever. He groaned loudly, unable to lift himself off the ground. Roman couldn't tell how much time had passed. All he could think about was how many things he was gonna throw at Trixie for her mistake. But, he can't really blame her. She was just over her own head when she succeeded with the spell, so he'll just hold back a little when he punishes her. As he was thinking of numerous things to use against Trixie, his vision of the sky was obscured by a rainbow with eyes. "You okay there buddy?" Instincts took over Roman and he launched back up on his hooves, cane pointed at the intruder to his personal space. Now that he was actually looking at it, it turned out to be Rainbow Dash herself. "Roman, it's me!" Dash raised her hooves in the air as she stared down the cane that was too close for comfort. "Skittles? Wait, don't tell me... I'm in Ponyville!?" He exclaimed as he lowered his weapon. "I'm guessing you didn't just pop out of nowhere on purpose." "Let's just say a unicorn cast a spell on me, mainly teleportation." The things he was gonna do to Trixie once he got back had increased greatly after he had realized how far he was from Manehattan. Dash paused for a second before speaking. "Woah, I just got a feeling of déjà vu there..." "You too? Just standing here is making me feel weird." "Anyways!" She lifted a hoof towards a town in the distance. "Ponyville is just over there. So wanna race?" "Yeah! Race! Race! Race!" A different voice spoke enthusiastically. Roman looked up to find a cloud floating above him, and on that cloud was a young orange filly. "Oh, I almost forgot about you!" Dash said before she flew up to the cloud to retrieve the filly. And only a second had passed as Dash returned to the ground. "So, who's this?" Roman questioned. "I'm Scootaloo! Dash's number one fan!" The little one introduced herself. "Hmm, alright then. As for your challenge Dash, I'm sorry but I can't really fly." His fellow pegasi was caught by surprise. Especially Scootaloo. "You can't fly!? But why!?" "I was the only pegasus in a family of earth ponies, I had no one to teach me because grandma was already playing bingo with grandpa." He explained. "That's terrible, mister..." "Roman Torchwick, but just call me Roman kid, none of that mister stuff." "Alright Roman. And to tell you the truth, I can't fly also!" Roman raised a brow. "Is that so?" Scootaloo gave a quick nod. "Yup! And Rainbow Dash is teaching me! Maybe we should practice together?" Roman, pondered her offer for a second. It sounded like a great chance to actually learn how to fly the natural way instead of reading a book. He needed experience to truly understand, and though it was a bit embarrassing, there was nothing wrong to learn about something your race is supposed to know. "You know what kid, I'll take your offer. I don't really know how long I'll be stuck in town, so it'll be a good use of my time." Scootaloo's wings started to flutter excitedly. "Awesome!" Dash gave them both a nod. "Sounds like a plan, but I'll have to go now. I got some stuff to do. So Scoots, you teach Roman the basics. And Roman? Try not to get hurt." "Oh, haha Skittles, tease the newbie. Real mature, Skittles." "Alright then, take care Scoots!" Dash saluted right before she launched into the air quicker than Roman could even blink. Roman whistled as he watched Dash fly towards town with speed faster than a Bullhead. Maybe even faster than Red. Now that he remembered it, he should give the idea of VTOLs to the twins. They'd make a killing with it. Now alone with this random filly, Roman couldn't help but feel a little awkward since he doesn't really know what to say for the first time. He stood there in silence, waiting for the other to speak first. "So I was thinking," Roman let out a sigh of relief once Scootaloo started talking. "that the first thing we should do is see how well you could use those wings!" Without missing a beat, Roman used his third pair of limbs to bring out a deck of cards from his jacket. He shuffled them with ease, even did a few tricks just to show Scootaloo that he was adept with using his wings differently. And Scootaloo couldn't help but be amazed at the dexterity of his wings. He flicked a few cards up in the air and caught them with no problem at all. "I'm a street magician kid, these wings have seen action." "Wow! That was awesome!" "Oh please! You've seen nothing yet! But we should save that for next time, let's get back to business." "You're right... So, next is that you have to really feel it! Flap your wings real hard and try to hover." Roman stretched out his wings, but couldn't move them just yet as Scootaloo pulled the hem of his jacket. "You should really get on all fours so you could properly launch yourself." She advised him. Roman was reluctant, but he actually did what he was told. With the cane safely on the ground besides him, Roman took a stance and prepared himself. In truth, this would be the first time Roman would use his wings for its purpose, originally, he had used it to steal people's wallets. And now, he's about to learn a really good trick. Roman inched closer to the ground with his wings spread out as wide as he could. With one mighty push, he threw himself into the air, and his wings flapped faster than he had ever thought. Roman had succeeded with his training, all those things he had read as well as Scootaloo's help, though it was not much, had finally allowed the thief to hover. "You did it!" Scootaloo cheered. "Uh, you should slow down your wings a bit." "Well, thanks kid, you were really helpful." He said as he landed back on the ground. "No problem! You're a fast learner, I wish my wings would finally grow now so I can also fly!" "Thanks. But seeing that Skittles just left you with some random guy far from town, I can't help but feel like she's just dumping the responsibility to me." "Rainbow Dash is just busy, that's all." "I'll take your word for it." He said as he took out a cigar. "Um, Roman... Rainbow Dash said that pegasi shouldn't smoke since the lungs are important to a pegasus." "Lungs are important to everybody. And to tell you the truth, I've got something that keeps my lungs as healthy as ever. But, I just realized that I shouldn't really smoke near a child, so I'll just save this one for later." Roman then returned his cigar and reached for his cane on the ground instead. "And Roman..." The thief paused just as his hoof was an inch away from the cane. "Can you give me a ride back to town? Dash was supposed to drop me off but forgot about me..." "I wasn't just gonna leave you here kid, that would be irresponsible." Before Scootaloo could even thank him, Roman had picked her off the ground and held her close with the cane in front of her so she wouldn't fall off. "Hang on Scooter, and don't let go of my cane." "Scooter?" She asked. "I like to give people nicknames, okay?" And without warning, Roman had already shot up into the sky, his recent training was very helpful. Back then he was a bit doubtful of his wings, since he was once a human, but now that he had the hang of it, he soared through the sky faster than he would ever believe. Though not as fast as Dash, she was leagues ahead of him with speed. But Roman will find ways to triumph against Dash and come out on top. Roman was confused, something felt wrong and he couldn't answer why. Right in front of him were two ponies in iron armor. Both glared at Roman as if he had insulted their favorite chick flick. The tension was high between him and the armored ponies. But after a few seconds of silence, they parted away and allowed Roman and Scootaloo to pass. Roman gave one last glance at the guards as he walked away, something was really weird and he couldn't really tell why. He leaned close to Scootaloo. "Hey, what's with the grumpy duo?" "Oh, they're part of Ponyville's guards, the Iron Legion." She answered. "They stand guard around the Everfree Forest, so they made their base next Ponyville to be closer to the forest." Roman finally understood their purpose. "Right, the forest is full of anomalies where monsters exist. I read about that, makes sense to have some soldiers on standby." There were guards everywhere, a few were just patrolling, some were just standing around. And one was even reading some newspaper next to a kid who was selling said papers. "Something is odd about this..." He muttered to himself. "Guess I'll have to rely on my magic tricks to earn some bits since there's too much eyes around..." "What?" "Nothing. Does this town even have cops?" He asked another question as he eyed a few guards who were just minding their own business. "Yeah, but there's only ten since the Iron Legion are always around." She explained. "Well that's interesting. Want some ice cream Scooter?" She beamed upon hearing his offer and her wings started to flutter once again. "Really!?" "Sure, I've been craving for some sweets since I got here." Not looking where was even going, Roman had bumped into a random pony. "Hey, watch where you're going buddy!" He stuttered back once he found out who he had bumped into. "Is that how you greet a friend Roman?" Applejack asked rhetorically. "Well if I knew it was you Blondie, then I would've done something else!" He gave her his best smile. "Is that so? Well Ah' would like to see what you had in mind." "It's nothing much, but I'm treating Scooter over here with some ice cream. And I'm wondering if you could spare some time and join us." "Sorry, but Ah' can't right now, I'm needed back at the farm. But if you get some time yourself, you should drop by sometimes." She turned to leave, but just as she was about to take a step, she faced Roman one more time. "Also Dash told me to distract you for some pranks." "Oh, I know." He said aloud before he struck a small rock nearby with his cane. The rock flew off the ground and went straight into a random cloud in the sky. A pained yelp came from the cloud and out came Rainbow Dash who plummeted back down right in front of Roman and the others. "How did ya know?" Applejack asked Roman as she inspected her friend with Scootaloo by her side. "And how did you do that!?" Dash asked her own question as she shot up back to her hooves with one hoof over her head. "I was clearly hidden in a cloud!" Roman gave them both a lazy shrug of his shoulders. "I'm both a clairvoyant and a good shot. So what exactly were you trying to do Skittles?" "I thought you were a clairvoyant?" She said with obvious sarcasm. "That one was a joke. I just got some good tricks up my sleeves." He spoke with a smug look on his face. Scootaloo rubbed her eyes for a second, she was sure she saw Roman glow just for a moment there. She looked over to the others to see if they noticed it as well, and indeed they did. But none of them would even point it out, they were too impressed with Roman's skills to even say anything about the glow. Roman tapped his hoof on the handle of his cane. "I'm waiting Skittles." "Alright fine, the plan was that I use the cloud to rain on you. But you wouldn't have to worry about getting wet since I can help dry you off." "Good idea, but choosing me as your victim for your prank is where it backfired. And I'm guessing Applejack isn't really busy, is she?" "Well, guess we're goin' for ice cream today." Applejack simply accepted the results of Dash's failed prank. "Just to be clear, Ah' did not want to take part in Dash's little prank but she just wouldn't take no for an answer." "I understand Blondie. How about you, Skittles, and Scooter go on ahead. I need to check something first, I'll catch up after." Roman took out a small pouch from his pockets and gave it to Scootaloo. "Don't worry Scooter, it won't take long." Scootaloo eagerly accepted the pouch, and she smiled after. "Sure thing!" "Yeah! Free food, especially after you hit me with a rock!" Dash spoke with great enthusiasm as she and Scootaloo ran off. "You need ice more than ice cream for that small bump on your head, RD." Applejack spike as she followed the two pegasi. Roman then made sure that they were really gone, the thief had also checked to see if any guards were around. Once he was sure that it was just him and some other random ponies who just went on with their lives, Roman walked over to the colt who was selling newspapers. "Hey there mister!" The little colt spoke with an accent, and a few stacks of newspapers stood proudly behind him. "Would you like to buy a newspaper? There are some very interesting things happening in Canterlot!" The boy attempted to sell to Roman, but unbeknownst to him, the thief had other plans. "Hey kid, do you have anything about Manehattan?" "Yes sir, just arrived today! And you won't be readin' about Manehattan anywhere else on Ponyville! I'm the only one who got them!" The boy spoke with pride. Roman grinned. "Did you read any of them?" Roman received a "no" from him. Roman's grin turned into a smile as he produced another pouch of bits. "One thousand bits." The colt was taken by surprise. "But mister, that's too much for a hundred copies." "You've misread me kid, I'm not buying, I'm paying you to burn them." The colt froze, his mind tried to understand but couldn't as he stared into Roman's eye. He swore that he was seeing something evil within the emerald eye. "Unless, you don't want the bits..." Once the bits were mentioned, the colt had set his eyes on the pouch on his hooves. The pouch was calling out to him, he swears it did. In one quick motion, the pouch was already in the colt's hooves. After that, he began to push one stack of newspaper away from the rest to do what he was paid for. Roman smiled even wider, he had easily "convinced" some kid to burn some papers. And hopefully no one would notice the colt or Roman, it would be bad if the whole town starts asking questions. Especially if they knew who he was. "Roman!" The thief frowned. And judging from the voice, Scootaloo had followed him instead of going to some ice cream shop. "Hey Scooter!" Roman greeted her with a smile as she approached. "Why aren't you enjoying some sweets?" "Well, you are new to Ponyville, so Applejack had told me to bring you over!" She answered. "Were you buying newspapers?" "Yup," Roman took one from the top of the pile. "I was just curious about something. Anyways, we shouldn't keep the mares waiting." Roman patted Scootaloo's head as he walked by her. The filly pushed his hoof away, embarrassed that she had just allowed him to do that. And as the two were headed to Applejack and Rainbow Dash, Roman couldn't help but notice Scootaloo's silent glances. His hoof clenched the handle of his cane even tighter as he began to suspect that Scootaloo had watched him pay the colt with a huge pouch of bits. This would be a problem if left by itself. "Roman..." He waited for her to ask, and mentally prepared himself for an escape plan just to avoid answering. "Why do you walk like that?" Roman sighed with relief, he had fully expected her to ask a different question. "You see kid, I just like being tall, that's all." "Oh, I wanna be tall also!" Roman thanked the universe for giving him this path in his life instead of the other. "So, Scooter, what are the schedules for the trains to Manehattan?" "The trains won't be running until next week." "What!? Why!?" "Some... fillies had accidentally destroyed the tracts after a mishap. And the town doesn't have the budget to fix it yet, so they're waiting for a few days to gather up the bits." "Why don't they have the budget?" "They went to the repairs of the town hall after a monster attack, it's been happening more frequently." "Alright universe, I'm cursing you right now." He muttered before he would speak to Scootaloo. "Guess I'll be stuck here until I can find a way back to Manehattan." "That's alright! I can ask my aunt if you could crash at my place." "Scooter, I'm glad, but I would rather not be a burden to you or your aunt." He rejected her idea. "I'm sure Applejack would have a barn I can sleep in, I'm not picky." "Alright then, if that's you want..." With that, Roman was at peace, for now that is. Still, he wondered why it felt wrong that the town had its own guards. But it made sense since this town was literally next to a very dangerous forest. Still, it felt like everything was different than he would remember even though it's his first time being in town.