Criminally Stupendous

by dudenotactive


A Doctor's Appointment

"Ugh, why do we have to come with you?" Dash inquired with the guard. 

On this fine morning, Dash and Applejack shadowed the captain of Iron Legion. Their destination? It was unsaid for some reason, the two were blind to the task and simply followed without question, until now of course. 

As the three marched along the road of Ponyville, it did not take that long for Dash to voice her complaints and doubts about their little mission. Applejack remained passive as she trailed behind both. A few wandering eyes followed them, a lot of these ponies had a look of concern, it must be because of Applejack's weapon. The shotgun and revolver were holstered on her back, many had already learned about the destructive power it possessed, most ponies in Ponyville were loyal customers to Candlewick, and word of their dealings with the Iron Legion wasn't really a secret. 

The General and the corporation joined together to fight the endless tide of Grimm, and to catch the infamous thief of Equestria. But that doesn't dissuade the consumers from buying any Candlewick products. Though many are frightened by the weapons for good reasons, that wasn't much of a concern to the Element of Honesty. 

These guns of hers were one of a kind; they were the only ones on Equestria. The Flim Flam brothers had originally planned to give it to the General as a gift, but Ironwood showed no interest in any of their guns, so instead, they sold it to Applejack. She was almost scammed as well if it weren't for Ironwood. Who would've thought that a gal like her was going to be armed one day, heck, the guns made her feel a little complete. Something about the idea of her on a mountain of Grimm, posed with the weapons still hot from all the action, a handsome stallion in her hooves... 

Applejack slammed her face into the dirt as a flash of orange nearly blinded her, the earth quaked when her head shattered the ground. Luckily, Dash and Bronze Oak were too far ahead to notice her sudden outburst. Sadly she could not say the same with the onlookers.

She rushed to follow her friend with her hat over her red face. 

"You didn't have to come..." Bronze finally spoke. "All I said I was going to Ponyville to check on someone, but you two decided to just follow."

"No we didn't, you asked us to come." Dash claimed. 

"Miss Applejack?"

"Dash just wanted to skip Adam's training just for a day, she is scared of him." Applejack finally told the truth, like always. 

"No I didn't!" Dash denied the fact. 

Bronze simply sighed. "Understandable, Adam seems too much in my honest opinion. If anything, I don't mind if you two want a break, just call me and I'll bring an excuse."

"So, where we goin'?" Applejack asked curiously.

"Oh, a friend of the General's, he's odd, so be warned."

This piqued Dash's interest, she hovered over to Bronze's side. "Oh, what are they like?"

"Like I said, he's odd, he was also the inventor of the hay-powered engine. Which we still use despite the new engines from Candlewick Corp." Said Bronze. "Ah, here we are!"

They came upon a strange house, they'd of course seen it countless times, it always stood out unlike most buildings in the neighborhood. But Dash always wondered who lived in such a house. It was like an observatory mixed with a clock tower. A giant yet silent generator was attached to the back of it, and it was apparent that this house was not connected to the main power grid. 

The mailbox was shaped like a miniature phone booth, Dash being the mischievous mare she thought it was a grand idea to see if it housed a letter. Her mistake did not go unnoticed as hundreds of letters flooded out from the small mailbox. 

Bronze glared at her for invading someone's privacy, and without speaking, he ordered her to clean up her mess. With a sigh, he knocked on the door and waited for an answer. 

"I had just sat down!" A voice whined before the door opened. It revealed that the owner of this home was none other than Time Turner, Doctor extraordinaire. "Oh, Bronze, can this wait until tomorrow? I'm a bit on edge..."

His eyes landed on the two mares who were shoving his letters into his mailbox. There was an awkward silence shared amongst them. 

As if the scene itself was not a strange one, Turner opened his door and welcomed them. "Come in, I have some coffee if you all would like. Just leave the mailbox, it's mostly junk mail anyway."

"Oh, thank you!" Bronze smiled as he entered followed by his two companions. 

They avoided Turner's gaze as they passed by him. 

As he had promised, Turner brought some coffee for everyone as well as some milk and sugar. They sat upon a comfy chair and took in the aura of this house. Certainly messy to some people, but it was also well sorted out, Turner had no problem looking for anything he needed. 

What caught the attention of both mares was the toys that decorated the wall, all sat neatly on shelves that spanned from one side to the other. There were hundreds of them, made either with plastic or wooden materials or metal. It ranged from miniature wooden griffon soldiers to metal ships. It was clear that this was a hobby of his, and it was not the end of it. 

On the table was an odd toy, Dash felt a strange attraction towards the toy as if she was familiar with it. 

"It's a plane if you're wondering," Turner told them, and they looked over to him with curiosity. "Though it is a toy, on a grander scale, this plane would allow ponies without wings to fly above the clouds."

"What?" Dash could not produce any other word. 

"Oh," Bronze smiled. "Are you going to invent another amazing machine, Doctor?"

"Yes, but... I am trying something for sure..." He said as he inspected a strange tool. "So, do you need anything, Bronze? I doubt that the General would send you here for nothing. His check-up is on Wednesday."

"Right, excuse me, the General was wondering if you would be interested in some weapons and some magical crystals."

"Ah, yes, the Dust from Candlewick Corp. I don't really hold any interest in such things, magic is too much of a shortcut for me." He said as he snapped the tool open, it was then that everyone realized what he had in his hooves, it was Applejack's shotgun. 

"What the!?" Both mares exclaimed. 

"Sorry, I was just examining your weapon, and I have to say, this is one complicated gun." He stared down the dark barrel and noticed the strange mechanism inside. He then inspected Applejack's revolver, though they all did not even understand how he managed to steal the weapons from Applejack. "I may suggest a simpler design..."

"Hold on now, who said y'all could just take a mare's belonging just like that!?" Applejack nearly crushed the table with her unbridled strength. 

"Someone who knows what they're doing," Bronze claimed. "Let him be Applejack, the General trusts him more than anyone, so I'm sure you can do the same."

Without even flinching, the Doctor snapped the weapons together. "Hmm, too bulky..." He commented. "Though the barrel combining together to increase the range of its rifle form is an interesting design. But I can do better."

"What does that mean?" AJ asked the guard. 

"It probably means he'll fix up the guns you have."

"I'll be back..." Time Turner would then walk away from his guests. 

Confused and unsure if they made the right decision, Applejack could only drink her coffee as Dash and Bronze conversed. 

"So what does this guy do?" Dash asked. 

"He's a freelancing inventor, but I barely see much of his work because he prefers to keep his designs and inventions unrelated to him." He answered. "Though the Doctor did make his hay-powered engine public, so I can't really say."

"He sure makes a lot of toys..." Dash hummed. "So how long have Ironwood and this Doctor guy been friends?"

"Over ten years I believe, they have known each other ever since they met in a gala. They were pretty young back then, the General was but a Captain, and I was still a rookie. Time Turner simply walked up to him and offered his first invention, and I tell ya, it was weird." Bronze chuckled. "He brought with him a shield that would explode outward if it gets hit. He called it reactive armor, and you could put it on any surface. He got weird looks from the other guests but the General had a different face, it was a curious one. Before I knew it, he and Ironwood were drinking their night away, and I honestly can't remember the rest because I lost consciousness."

Dash whistled. "Huh, he must be a big deal then!" 

"No joke, the General has been trying to recruit him into the Legion, but the Doctor just has other plans."

"Hey, what's this?" Dash noticed something underneath the table, she reached for it and discovered a strange device. It was a handle attached to some kind of cylinder. Must be a toy. 

"Alright!" Time Turner returned with a much cleaner version of Outlaw's Redemption. 

"What'd you do, exactly?" Applejack inquired as she received her weapons back. 

"I've changed the cylinder of the revolver to take in .50 Beowulf rounds. But you can switch back if you'd like, just a simple process. The shotgun I've also added a function to shrink so it could be more compact." He explained. "As for the shotgun, I have added two modes, one for 7.62 rounds, and the .50, I also added this new joint for the two barrels."

He pointed at the end of the shotgun, on both sides a plate to keep it from malfunctioning which was a design she'd never push away. She opened the gun and noticed how easy it was to do so. The shotgun was smaller, she could tell, was lighter too. 

One quick move and she fused the guns together, and boy was she surprised how easy for her to move thanks to Turner. 

"You know a lot about guns..." Bronze pointed out. 

Turner chuckled as he sipped from his mug. "Well when I found out that a new invention is taking Equestria by storm, I was curious. I may have been conducting experiments..." Applejack knew that was a lie, but she could not bring up a good reason for him to be dishonest. 

There was no point in lying, and he proved that he knew so much about the weapons. This only confused Applejack far too much, so she instead chose to ignore it. This information did not benefit her in any way. 

"So, what else do you need?" The Doctor asked Bronze for the reason for their visit. 

Bronze Oak coughed awkwardly into his hoof. "Well, Doctor, the General would like to hire you for a small job, nothing permanent. We simply ask for something that would be used against the Grimm, using the Dust crystals of course."

"So you want a weapon," He hummed. "I only make inventions that would help society, and a giant bomb or other destructive devices will not do. I can of course create something to defend you, Legionnaires."

"Any help is appreciated, Doctor."

"Yes, but may I ask why you have a very dangerous individual amongst your guards?" 

Bronze was taken aback by the question. "What do you mean, if you don't mind me asking?"

Turner stared into his mug, the black brew was like an empty abyss that stared back at him. "Never mind, I will be able to invent something with the Dust crystals, but I will only make one invention. I must be honest here, Dust is something I'd rather not tamper with."

"I see..." Bronze said, confused that he said something about Adam, it was clear who he meant by 'dangerous individual'. But he did not know Turner's perspective because Bronze thought that ponies like Turner are always odd. "Very well, but may I have some light on what you plan to do?"

"The cyan Dust crystal can be used to create hard-light which will be of use to many of you, after some tests it will be ready tomorrow."

"That quick!?" Dash was taken by surprise. "H-how long have you been researching Dust?"

"A day, only because I wish to be done with them. They are like magic in many ways and I much prefer doing regular science." Another lie, but with a partial truth.

"Twilight hasn't even gotten a breakthrough with those Dust crystals!" Dash claimed. 

Turner only stared at Dash disinterestedly. "Bronze, I think you've all overstayed your welcome, I will see you and Ironwood soon."

"Oh, then I must thank you for your hospitality, Doctor. Come on Applejack, Dash, I'm sure Adam would be fuming by now." Bronze thanked Time Turner for his time and proceeded to the door. 

"Uh, thanks, Doc..." Applejack smiled warmly. 

"Wait,"

All three froze, they turned around to see a killer look in Turner's eyes, and it was all focused on Dash. 

"Please drop my cane, Rainbow Dash."

"Cane?" Then Dash realized the strange toy she had found. With an embarrassed smile, she quickly placed the supposed cane down and rushed out after giving Turner a small apology. "That was a cane?"

She asked the others once they caught up with her. Bronze tapped his chin as he thought about it. 

"Honestly, I've only seen him use it as a screwdriver for years now, but I think there were a couple of times when he used it as a cane..."

"He's a weird one, that's for sure." Applejack huffed. "Feels like it ain't gonna be the last time we'll see him."

"Hopefully he'll help us tomorrow night as well, it would certainly make things easy." Bronze said. 

This got Dash curious and she wondered what else the Legionnaires needed from a pony like Time Turner. It started to feel like the guards were dependent on Turner as if he was the messiah. Either way, the day was still young, and both Applejack and Dash will have to face Adam's wrath soon. Hopefully, he'll go easy on them.