• Member Since 5th May, 2013
  • offline last seen Jan 27th, 2020


Every time you read one of my stories, an orphan is allowed to be happy. Do it for the orphans.


The day after she swears off her petty, villainous ways, Starlight Glimmer is finally ready for her very first friendship lesson! To mark this grand occasion, Twilight decides a walk through town is in order to let her new student make some friends the right way.

It turns out that Starlight Glimmer is exceedingly bad at making friends the right way.

Many thanks to Syeekoh and Kamikakushi for taking a big one and prereading this for me.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 235 )


Majin Syeekoh

I'll take a big one for you any day.

Uhhh... I had something to say, but after finishing this story I just gave up:derpyderp2:

Have a like

Let me dig in the freezer, see if I can heat up the cold bag.

That was a nice little read. I wonder how many times Roundabout ended up in the family tree? Grandfather? Great Grandfather? Also, how does a pony with such a propensity for dragon bullying manage to survive long enough to sire anything? A mystery for the ages.

This is actually one of the most serious and believable stories of Starlight's post-season five forgiveness stories I've seen on the site.

Wow, that feature sure was fast. Congrats! :pinkiehappy:

Well that was acidic, cynical and mean-hearted. :trixieshiftleft:

“So she can restyle my mane before that jerk comes back as his own grandpa to insult me some more.”

Huh, so that was why she restyled her mane.

Apparently a generation of inbreeding doesn't teach a pony when to keep their mouth shut.

I don't know what I expected, but it certainly wasn't this.

Majin Syeekoh

7409328 Nobody expects the biggest dick.

The title itself is fave worthy.

7409330 Kinda like the Spanish Inquisition?

Majin Syeekoh

7409344 I guess so, yeah.

I really enjoyed this and laughed many times. More author-worshipping, a really bad summary of the story that everyone here just read, e.t.c

I rate 27 out of 13 giant dicks.


Yeah, minus the comfy chair.

Majin Syeekoh

7409360 Don't forget the fluffy pillows.

I'm not going to lie.
The title is what I came here for.


If anything, each cycle of inbreeding probably makes that kind of mental gymnastics rougher. Two or so more and he should be down to DURRRR POTATOE.


Why is this story in its own Similar section? :trixieshiftright:


Your comment made me so unimaginably happy.

Roundabout is no Lazarus Long.

Oh dear Lord... Roundabout certainly was named properly wasn't he?:rainbowlaugh::derpytongue2:

I suppose it would be accurate to call him a motherfucker.
She totally weeping angel'd him.
Can't say that I disagree with her, and Twilight is a terrible friend for not smacking his shit before then.


Just the way I wanted it. Thanks for reading!

Didn't Futurama do this?

Bwahahahahahahahaha :rainbowlaugh: pretty damn funny. loved the bit with the arsehole being his own dad adn it being him pissing off starlight that made it that way. have yaself a like and a fav


that was a thing

that happened

Oh, my.....that was just hysterical!! Just a perfect Twilight reaction to everything Starlight did and Starlight just being as she should. Very well done!

So, Starlight left out that that second time travel spell is also a gender change spell, right? I bet he's a fan of all those zombie movies

7409541 Everything has been done already: we're just seeing variations of it. Besides, this plot focus is on Starlight and Twilight and, while he's important to the story, it's not exactly his story.

Anyway, always nice to see another variation of Starlight who has very clear, very extreme reasons for why she made few friends growing up and required a talk down from the resident princess of friendship.

...Well, that just happened.

Nothing like the grievous & irresponsible misuse of godlike power to lift my spirits! :pinkiehappy:


7409499 Oh my god! You genius! :pinkiegasp:

“Okay, then what does fluoride have to do with friendship?”

Fluoride is totally a main ingredient of friendship. A nice, pearly white smile can make you a surprising amount of friends. No, really, it's true. You wouldn't believe the kind of difference that kind of first impression makes.

Also, goddamn it, Mesa!

The ending is like icing on a cake! Sweet, with a side of lols. LOVE IT!

The hell?! I once tried to upload a story with a cover image with a censored swear word in it. How did you get away with that title?!:rainbowderp:

Starlight lifted an eyebrow. “Isn’t that literally how you became a princess?”


Also , isn't stopping your friends before they can insult each other or do something ugly to each other a key part of friendship ? Some Princess of friendship there Twilight ! :trollestia:

I've been writing Starlight wrong the whole time.

amazing title. 10/10

Publish it, rename it later...

wwaaaaaaaiiiiiittttt....... Fry...... is that you?

That title is absolutely hilarious.

Edit: and the story even more so.

7409220 Alright then, pull down your pants. We'll make this quick.

7410121 Username checks out.

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