• Member Since 16th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Nov 15th, 2020


If you happen to cry, I will be there. If you happen to smile, will you do the same for me?



This story is a sequel to You're a Lesbian, Spike!

After a night of drinking, Rainbow Dash managed to convince Spike he was a lesbian. The morning after, she received a summons from Princess Celestia to explain the whole situation.

Rainbow Dash was convinced she had the correct answers ready for the occasion. Yet what happens, when the Princess asks the wrong questions?

Warning! Contains suggestive topic references of sexual nature.

Reading by ScarlettBlade (Thanks, Captain! )

Special thanks to Octavia Harmony for editing.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 169 )

Socks would say otherwise.

7400870 :) I know :D

After a night of drinking, Rainbow Dash managed to convince Spike he was a lesbian.

Spike must've been drunk as hell to be convinced that he was a female dragon sexually attracted to other female dragons.

the cover art is glorious

7400900 :) That's how it all started :D This is just the sequel

7400936 I know, right?! :P

:moustache: ????
:rainbowderp: !?!
:duck: ...
:facehoof: !?!
:trollestia: Spikey gets all the mares

Either Celestia is trolling hardcore to get back at RD or make sure Spike isn't heart broken.

Or Celestia is.....OK frankly I have NP idea what else she could be doing. All I know is apparently she spy's extensively on the EoH Bearers and may or may not be into mares.

Very good story I enjoyed it and shared in RD's reaction to Celestia's confession.

7400880 So confused. So happy. Wait. I get it now.

It would be hilarious if Discord decided to convince Celestia that she is sexually attracted to Equestria.

"Celestia, My dear, I'm afraid you're a geosexual."

The alternative ending to this story is that Spike walks in on his mom banging his new fillyfriend.

And then the next story would be "You're gay, Spike!"

Mistaking Thunderlane for Cloud Chaser? I see what you did there. :rainbowlaugh:

**** me here we go again

7401140 tLOL! That should totally be the sequel:rainbowlaugh: Now we need someone to make it.
7400870 Hope this doesn't turn out like the would it matter if I was thing, that would be a lot of shipping. Of course, would it matter If I was to start a Your sexual orientation is a genre, Rainbow dash group :trollestia:

Of course, refering to the comment earlier should make it. Your the one who come up with the idea in the first place.


This somehow makes more sense and is even more confusing than the first one.

7401671 The second it started to snowball, bans would be handed out like Dove bars on the surface of the Sun.
Staff threw a collective shitfit over "Would it matter?" and expanded/reinforce the bandwagonfic-ban placed after Five Score Divided By Four.

By the sound of it all, RD is bi as fuck and doesn't wanna admit the hetero side.


...Not gonna lie, that level of spying is more than a little creepy, Celestia. :rainbowhuh:

And that's why anypony has to drink cyder and think about relationship with his friends in the same night.

And here I thought Rainbow was being bitchy......:rainbowderp::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:
Celestia, you no-gooder, you

"I know that Twilight hatched him, but I raised him." A single accusatory glance pierced Rainbow, making her heart to stop for a few seconds. "It's no secret that I think of him as my own child."

Actually... It kinda is. Because you never ever acted like it before. So, way to go, mom?

That geek? Shock briefly pierced through the pegasus' confusion. Seriously? You fell for her, but not for me?! What the hay does she have that I don't? Like, I'm totally awesome and all! She's just a bookhorse that had five fiends in her life!

Five fiends?! That's a lot of demons! Moon Dancer is, like, an epic summoner!

"Like, seriously, mom!" The throne room door swung open and a fuming Spike stopped in, arms waving in the air. "Can't you just give him wings for a day or something? If I have to hear him cry how you always favoured Cadence to him, I think I'll... Err, you okay, RD?" He directed his attention to the pegasus.

I can totally see this.

And it would still make for a vastly more likeable Celestia than a majority of stories where Blueblood and her interact.

Poor Rainbow Dash. Celestia is a master :)

"Mares have been making subtle hints for years, Dashie. You just never noticed," Celestia said then chuckled. "How could you, since you are definitely, a hundred percent, not a lesbian."

Can I just say that this IS Rainbow Dash she's talking to, I wouldn't be surprised if she was oblivious to subtle hints because of how blunt her personality is, you can't use a pony's obliviousness to determine sexuality. I'd say that Rainbow in this is bisexual leaning towards the lesbian side if she's anything.
Meh, that aside, this fic is a pretty amusing read and I'm not sorry I read it, so I'll say "good job" :twilightsmile:

Dash is always about 20% subtler than the rest so of course they wouldn't be subtle enough

And the question still stands WAT!!!!

She's just a bookhorse that had five fiends in her life!

"Hey! I resemble that remark! :twilightangry2: "

And I can't forget the amount of letters I've received from—" she paused for a moment to take a deep breath "—concerned individuals, sobbing about you not paying any attention to them."

So... since being rejected by Rainbow Dash isn't technically a royal emergency, this would have to be a pony that would regularly send Celestia letters about her personal life, wouldn't it?


7401003 Or... all the mares get Spike? :D

7401026 :) Well, she does have her hall of video screens (shown when Twilight ascended). Of course she'll see everything :D
Very glad you enjoyed the story (even with the Celestia trolling :))

7401126 Oh dear... :)

7401140 No! Just no! Twice is plenty! :P

7401184 it could happen O:)

7402022 Err... I'm not sure anymore O:)

7402513 Wait, what? I though she was hetero... So confusing... :D

7402548 :) Trye, personally I'd consider what is going on. The sun sees everything :D

7403015 Trolestia is a thing that I enjoy a lot and makes for great humor.

Also I always thought the hall of vid screens was Twilight ascension doing it since the Elements blased her there.

Though after this o wouldn't be surprised if the castle has a sub level dedicated to a bunch of CCTV cameras that are all over the place watching and her having a network of spy's throughout the country.

Yes yes it is.

7402556 Dexter's Laboratory? :)

7402701 :) Well, it might turn a bit extreme... :)

7402710 Well, what do you expect? She's protective of Spike :D
Also she isn't that bad. She could have had Rainbow squirm for much longer :)

7402718 :) To be honest I'm baring it on two things:
1) Spike's remark during wrap up "you're not my mommy"
2) Celestia's nite to Spike during Dragon Quest

Only speculation, but is nice to think she took care of the little guy growing up :)

Also, I think Blueblood would make a great alicorn :D

7402755 Hey, Skar :) Indeed, she is :D

7402759 :) Thank you :D
Well, this is just a theory. She might as well be. On that note, I'm curious what she'd look like with long mane :)

7402832 Rainbow Dash is as subtle as a brick to the skull :D

7402898 The truth is out there... *ominous music* :)

7402910 ...indeed, it would. Indeed, it would :D

7403058 Honestly, you did an amazing job, that's one other fiction what I ship Spike and Rainbow Dash. I think if one of all the mane six if he know the truth of Celestia be the Spike's mother, is the Rainbow Dash, because her reactions is precious.

Well that was something. :rainbowderp: Not bad, something. :derpytongue2:

Seems a but unrealistic though. Something tells me this is more like Trollestia at work in the same way Rainbow was in the first fic. That grade-A logic. :trollestia: It always seemed to me that Equestria would be more accepting and not so "normal versus sin" like the story hints at.

As much as she tried she couldn't remember an instance of making out with a mare. Not one single one!

It would also explain why none of her relationships worked out. Well, excluding the one with Derpy, but that was way too strange for Rainbow's taste.

There needs to be a spin-off story about this. The bizarre "romantic" adventures of Derpy and her "lesbian" "lover" Rainbow Dash sound far, far too entertaining to be teased at and never explored!

Pity I found an year in that she was polyamorous.

This is literally the only bit of the story that bothered me. This isn't polyamory.


Wasn't there a comic actually with Derpy and RD? I think it was in the second Hoof Beat Book...

Honestly Celestia just trolled the hell out of Rainbow. Maybe Rainbow is bi. Either way not many ponies would be able to deal with egos like hers so maybe that is why all here relationships failed. Though the mondfuckery here was awesome, much better than Dash's toward Spike. :trollestia:

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