• Member Since 5th May, 2013
  • offline last seen January 27th


Every time you read one of my stories, an orphan is allowed to be happy. Do it for the orphans.


Twilight Sparkle considers herself a learned pony. With the power of her intellect and a healthy dose of friendship, there’s no problem too big to solve. Or so she thinks.

However, when she criticizes Discord’s favorite action movie, the mad god takes revenge in a way that nopony saw coming—he turns her entire life into a summer blockbuster. Now, Twilight’s out of time, out of options, and out of luck, as... the princess under fire.

Many thanks to JeffCvt for editing. Cover art and all chapter art provided courtesy of the talented Magello.

I am forced to assume that neither of those two gentlemen have ever seen an explosion, because they're always facing away from them.

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 97 )

Fantastic. I wish I had this idea.

I especially loved the idea that someone would plant a bomb to kill Twilight that would presumably also kill the assassins trying to kill Twilight. That's covering your bases blockbuster style.


I asked myself, "Self, how do you solve plot-holes?"

And my self answered, "Well, self, don't be a dumbass—explosions."

Everything kind of resolved itself from there.

i'm in!!!!!
I love the concept.
I hope that twilight gains a new appreciation for action movies.
I know that well-developed characters and settings make good movies but you need mindless fun sometimes too.

Action Twilight is best Twilight.

Good story
+ 1 Favourite
+ 1 like

Now, Twilight’s out of time, out of options, and out of luck, as... the princess under fire.

Alright, your entire little hook there? People need to hire you to write their story summary things. I cannot begin to explain just how much of my attention you nabbed with that.

But surfing FiMFiction at work brings with it the risk of finding an awesome story JUST before we get busy. I'll be back.


Woohoo, glad you enjoyed it. Stay tuned for updates every Friday.


*Fist pump*
Nailed it. Thanks!

Oh, no...I have a feeling Applejack isn't long for this world.


Wh—whaaaa? Naw, friend, naw! No waaay!

Last day on the job? :rainbowhuh:

RIP AJ. :fluttercry:

Ohoho, this looks fun. And the art looks cute too :D

Hope it lives up to your expectations. I can't speak for how it is to read, but it sure was fun as hell to write.

4268608 "I am forced to assume that neither of those two gentlemen have ever seen an explosion, because they're always facing away from them." COOL GUY ARE TO BADASS TO LOOK AT EXPLOSIONS!!!" or something like that anyways...

You don’t understand how amazing life can be when you stop thinking and start doing!
At that thought, Twilight wiped all traces of levity from her expression and fought against her excitement. I will not acknowledge this as fun!

Yeah, you tell 'em, Twilight! Don't give in! :moustache:

Ha! Even Discord can't control what he does! :pinkiecrazy:

Can't wait to see Fluttershy's big action scene. We all know sexy clothing only makes women better fighters.

I'm guessing that explosive bow-tie is about to come in handy really soon.

I was rolling at "half-chicken and half-pussy." :rainbowlaugh:

One of these days she'll pull off a good one-liner.


Dun dun dun! :pinkiegasp:

But I like her one liners....

“Twilight?” Fluttershy said as her smile shrank. “Is—is something wrong? Is this too fast?”

“Twilight?” Fluttershy said as her smile shrank. “Is—is something wrong? Is this too fast?”

Seems you wrote that line twice


Thanks for catching that!

Ok, hooves in the air, who else called it?


Oh! Oh! I did! I called it!

Luna is a President while Celestia was a normal cop?
Awkward... :pinkiecrazy:

what? what? what? i don't like this anymore. i don't like this at all.

still gonna read it to see if it gets redeemed, but this is a no no...

4372139 Who didn't call it? It was pretty damn obvious, especially after Celestia 'went missing'.

Twilight Sparkle in a Last Action Hero plot? C'mere, story, you're headed into my Read Later list for a bit . . .

I see what you did there.

And I like it.:rainbowkiss:


Thanks for the ribbon! I'm sorry you had to read something with such lavender language, but I'll be fixing that soon.

Lavender? I can't say I saw a comment-able amount of that.

You're very welcome for the ribbon, though.


Miss doesn't need a period after it.

Awful lot of dead ponies for a prank. Including Luna and Celestia. :unsuresweetie:

Thank you for this story. It was a joy from beginning to end.

It seems like Discord's spell grew out of control and has taken over the whole of Equestria. Now Twilight has to go defeat/rescue everypony she knows to help to snap out of their characters. Next is Twilight Sparkle is Princess on a Mission.


I really, really hope Celestia's beard keeps growing back.

Also, I crave a sequel as well!

Twilight, you silly pony. You need both the cool jacket/coat AND the sunglasses. And possibly a machine gun.

Luna’s breath came out in gasps by the time she emerged through the trapdoor, but she couldn't pause to rest. A swift kick threw the cabin's door off of its hinges. Outside she went, where she made to sling the bomb skyward, and—

Some days, you just can't get rid of a bomb!


Aha, god! This entire story is so cheesy! :rainbowlaugh:

But that's how action explosions movies are like. :trollestia:

4222341 Best resolution ever.

4290990 He's the spirit of chaos. The knowledge that things won't always turn out as you expect comes with the territory.

Only BRIAN BLESSED could provide the necessary ham required to go with this cheese

OH COME ON i want the DIE HARD sequel

Ah, the romantic interest finally arrives! Now the action movie feels more whole! All that's missing are guns, black shades, and Twilight coming up with a satisfactory one liner.


Spoiler alert: At least one of those things never happens.

I can really see this as a series: each of the Mane Six wake up one morning to find their lives being dictated by various genres of movies (horror, fantasy, mystery, etc.). Not sure how to keep them in a consistent timeline (t'would be redundant to have Discord parody Ponyville over and over again), but the idea still strikes me as interesting.

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