• Member Since 24th Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen Feb 9th, 2023

zalla661


Trixie Senpai FOREVER!!! Ship Trixie with anyone and you'll make your fic 500% cooler/awesome! Also remember to give the golden mares some love! Mayor Mare, Cherry Jubilee, and Harshwhinny!

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Starlight Glimmer, now reformed has begun a journey to spread friendship across the land as Twilight Sparkle's student. Along the way she will make new friends and meet some old ones. Along the way she might even help shape Equestria to a land of equality and tolerance she always wanted.

Mare X Colt shipping later chapters. Thus has been warned.

(SPOILERS for Season 5! Takes place after Season Finale) BEST SEASON FINALE EVER!

Edited by: DualKitsune.

Chapters (48)
Comments ( 219 )

Too sappy by half, even for the show it originates from.

Gets one of my rare (I've only handed only 5 this year) thumbs down.

Good start...can't wait to see where this goes.

6685242 Funny you should say that, I get thumbs down for my stories being to intense so that's why I made it this way. This is a kiddy story by comparison to my other ones. Oh, well. Sorry you didn't like the start, but I promise it won't stay that way forever should you continue to follow it. :twilightsheepish:

6685252 Just you wait and see. Just you wait and see.... Muhahahahah!:pinkiecrazy:

You have past your first test, my student

Um, past the test?

Otherwise, not a bad chapter. Feels like something a bit more should happen.

yeah the first test is to make a friend otherwise you can't be her student

6688230 It'd be more like, 'You didn't make a friend?":twilightoops:

"No...."

"..."

"......"

"......"

"......"

"Fine, back to magic kindergarten for you.":facehoof:

"But I lost my friend back then!"

"Then do something about it!":twilightangry2:

Could use some editing for spelling and such, but I like the gist of the story.

Awesome, but your grammar was bugging me. Namely, the fact that you did not capitalize any of their names when they were speaking to each other.

6702133 That was only one that I found. I think you may be misreading or confused this with something else you read. If you could next time show me where the mistakes are it'd be greatly appreciated, cause I found only one name capitalization error thus far.:twilightsheepish:

Though I'm pretty sure you are mistaken. But I have missed lots of things in the past. And saying bad grammar is the equivalent to saying your English accent sucks when you're texting someone. How can you tell? Just saying somehtings bad and not explaining why is useless to someone like me who is trying to improve as they go along but no one will either edit (or stay as an editor for long cause people aren't reliable for some reason) or you won't TELL us why it sucks. You just say it does.

while critasisim is appreciated PROPERLY done would be preferable rather than... THIS.:ajbemused: (Awesome, but your grammar was bugging me. Namely, the fact that you did not capitalize any of their names when they were speaking to each other.) Cause honestly I only found one name error. Only one. Great now I can't find it. :facehoof:

But please if you see anymore feel free to tell me! I hate name errors at the very least.

6701968 I'm so glad you liked the competition. :twilightsmile:

I promise there will be lots more where that came from.

6688445 I'm not seeing where the spelling issue is. Perhaps you can recommend a DEDICATED editor? I've been on this site for a while and never find any that will stay or are dedicated.:twilightsmile:

6703400

"So rainbow, wh

see if twilight wanted

There might have been one more.
And sorry about that. I should know by now not to type at night. I honestly only mentioned and meant those, because they interrupted my reading. That's a good thing. It means the rest was going so well they it stopped me.
So not a big deal, just surprising to me.
(Also I solemnly swear not to type comments when tired as it always leads to confusion or anger. :unsuresweetie: Because I get lazy.)

For the next thing, grammar also refers to the mechanics of writing. Such as : proper tenses, subject-verb agreement, punctuation, spelling, capitalization, etc.
So it's actually easier to tell in written form. In fact, it's almost exclusively a problem for the written word.

Lastly, if you need an editor or proofreader, I'll be happy to help.

6706538 I've been trying to get one for over a year now but they never stick and the Proofreader group has proven to be unreliable thus far.

If you're willing to do a chapter a week I'd be glad to have you as my editor, but know this! I demand a strict schedule from my editors. but only because I hate all the ones that bail or take weeks to do. :pinkiecrazy:Also I have horrible 'grammar' and I know it. It was the second worst subject for me in writing aside from math. Math is the devils art for us humans.

but please if you can help me I'd greatly appreciate it! And don't feel bad, I'm an artist so criticism is my bread and butter. :twilightsmile:

6706881 :pinkiehappy: I'd love to! Just pm me any specifics. I can do a chapter a week.

6706947 Love to....but it's almost 1AM where I am... :derpytongue2:
So tomorrow!! This will be fun!:raritystarry:

I only watched the season final a week before, because I was somehow wary about the whole season, even if at least half of it was somehow good, nearly 8 episodes where actually awesome.

Now I´m a bit dissapointed that I didn´t watched it earlier, because Starlight was still as awesome as I remembered her. I don´t know what I have to expect in a drama story, but I really want to read it.
Sorry if I didn´t managed to continue with every of your storys, but I somehow wasn´t in the mood for a long time, at least not for everything.

Nice idea, and nice proceeding of the season final. I´m maybe only in some sort of hype for Starlight at the moment, but she is, and was one of my favourite Ponys since the first time I saw her at the season start. I´m glad that she was suddenly there again, and actually managed to fight off Twilight so many times, I don´t know how strong she really is compared to Twilight, but at the moment it looks like she could be even stronger than her if she would learn under Twilight. (At least in her current state Twilight thought she couldn´t just beat Starlight)

I think twilight is probably more clever than Twilight, but Twilight actually knows more if you know what I mean.
I feel like they would complete each other, because of that I somehow like the first tries of romance storys about them.

In this brief moment of clarity, Starlight's eyes glowed with a rainbow glow. So brief was it, that Pokey Pierce never saw it. Starlight would have cried had she not been so overjoyed by this revelation.

If it would be somepony else, than I would actually needed to happen, but then again I feel like this isn´t as bad as the Cutie Map if I think about it.

I guess what would be weird, is if Staright would be really one of the "choosen ones", as I like to call it. The strange thing there is, that Twilight choose exactly her, and it rarely happens, that someone get´s choosen that is actually not that awesome, even if there is no way for them to know that they were choosen.

I don´t really hate those things I mentioned, as you maybe an already guess. Sometimes I just feel a bit more weird about any sort of cliche or something like that. Yeah I think you could say I can´t take it seriously in rare moments that I have, but I really like it so far.

Friendship Gained::heart:

that´s a nice idea, but don´t make it always to easy for her, and maye let her gain some friendship wwith Ponys, that don´t work that much with Twilight´s personality please.

"You actually wrote fanfiction about him?" Starlight asked mockingly.

Twilight blushed, but Spike's next words left them both speechless, "You should hear her when she sleeps. The dreams she has can be intense."

Wow, that´s somehow funny. I don´t know that Clover guy that much, but I think I would actually agree with Starlight there.

Trixie could come later.

If you should use her in that story, I would prefer Starlight to actually be the first that is getting through to Trixie, and make a friend out of her.

hhhhmmmm I don´t have many wishes right now, but sometimes I´m actually curious about how much they can cuddle/nuzzle, till it would look like they have feelings for each other.

6777666 Sooo, no more love for Trixie, hmmmmmmmm?:rainbowlaugh:

That's OK, I still love the blue unicorn. Speaking of which check this out.

40.media.tumblr.com/bf70079746d3ef377e678f16e5596a83/tumblr_nma8o21MkK1rxd4wio1_1280.png

6778323

Sooo, no more love for Trixie, hmmmmmmmm?:rainbowlaugh:

:pinkiegasp:no I never said that, at least I hope I didn´t:twilightblush: I actually often don´t have a that favourite pony, I more have my top five.
Starlight
Trixie
Fluttershy
Chrysalis
Derpy
and Derpy I think. It often change a bit, with every fanfiction I read, the order I mean, the top 5 are mostly the same, one for every category (main six/ex-Villain/Villain/not sure in which category Trixie should be since I don´t really see her as a Villain.

Not bad, but I have maybe already seen it somewhere, it looks familiar. well I hardly can name a special somepony, it always hurts not to choose one of the other ponys. well I somehow could place Chrysalis third, or second, just because she isn´t really on the good side (not sure what that has to do with it although).

hhhmmm

1.Starlight/ Trixie
2.-
3. Fluttershy/Chrysalis
4. -
5. Derpy
I think I see it more like that.

"Darling please, it is almost seven in the morning. You shouldn't stay in bed all day," Rarity replied rubbing the mare's back.

well I like to get up early as well, but I would call that all day.

"Now Starlight I know we've had our differences in the past but I think a nice day out together could help us bond," Rarity said pulling the pink mare along. "Now come along dear, I have a whole day of fun planned, starting with a hearty breakfast."

I think the other story I had read before this is might affecting me a bit, sometimes if I read that someone, or usually the main char ist forced to something really mean, I can get angry about it at times, or rahter just not happy (I don´t want to make it look like I would overreacting right now).
I´m just saying this, because I noticed that I´m more on alert now, about what is written.

Rarity dropped her cup, scooting back in her chair away from the angry unicorn across the table. Starlight's eyes were blood shot and dilated and she herself stood on the the table balancing on her front hooves, leaning into Rarity's face to where their noses touched. Starlight breathed heavily, glaring down on the cowering white unicorn. Realizing what she was doing, Starlight got off the table and looked down in shame.

well she wanted a tired Starlight.

She thought of her friend who was coming to visit her and wondered if she had been too pushy for Starlight this morning. That and she felt guilty for waking her up so early.

aahhh I knew I had just to wait, I like it if they start to reflect about stuff they maybe have done wrong.

Had she been awake and aware, Starlight would have heard the nasty comments being made behind her back. Some said she was another Trixie coming to take over Ponyville by tricking the new princess.

should they even know so much bad stuff about her? I think most of what starlight did was either not seen, or happened in her own Village.

urning to face her student, Twilight placed her wing around Starlight's shoulder asking, "What's wrong, Star? You wee doing so well thus far. Why'd you have to pick a fight with Clappy?"

huh? she started:rainbowhuh:

Twilight should really tell her castle stuff about the people that are allowed in there, and I actually kind of like those storys, where Twilight let the people go to the libary without to ask for an appointment or something like that. However that is not the real point here.

"Please don't harass my student anymore. Unless I say otherwise, she, my friends, and Spike are always welcome in the castle. Understood?"

well that is what I get from having to make my comment while reading the story:scootangel:

Entering her room Starlight was not expecting to see what she saw. The floor, once bare crystal, was now covered in a lovely rug bearing Starlight's cutie mark. Similar tapestries hung from the walls and a few bookshelves and a table with an elaborate Armour was set to the side with a large wardrobe. Starlight was amazed at how the room looked and changed so quickly. Looking around, she saw a small note on the table. Walking over and taking hold of it with her magical aura she saw it was a note to her from Rarity.

I get it that she was walking slow, but man was she slow that they had the time to do all of this.
I honestly don´t remember how fast Rarity really is in the show, but I actually like to see it if she doesn´t make something like this in mere seconds.

Infamy Gained: X Not sure about that, while I admit it is somehow stupid to force yourself past a guard, or some sort of authority, it was more or less Twilight´s fault for not even telling them sooner about it. Well I guess it depens on how personal the guard is thinking about it.

Rarity herself doesn´t seems to think to bad about her for that.

Well again I like it, but it feels different to read it tonight, probably because I´m not really in the mood right now.

"Also, how is the new outpost in the Everfree coming along?"

If this were from anybody but Twilight, it would be a not-so-subtle hint that some shaping-up had better happen or else.

elaborate Armour was set to the side

Do you mean armoire? Or this another reminder that residence at the castle is a privilege and that there are a multitude of dangerous places to which a pony might be sent?

6793664 Not sure what you mean by shaping up. Unless you mean that Twi meant it as a threat. :raritywink: no I meant armoire. Besides, Twilight wouldn't do that. Noooo, not at all.... maybe... :twilightsmile:

As in a large store cabinet for clothing. I thought I fix that.

media.restorationhardware.com/is/image/rhis/prod370012?$l-pd1$

6792663 Aww. I'm sorry my story caught you in a bad mood. Here, why don't you look at this. It should brighten your day!

Rarity dropped her cup, scooting back in her chair away from the angry unicorn across the table. Starlight's eyes were blood shot and dilated and she herself stood on the the table balancing on her front hooves, leaning into Rarity's face to where their noses touched. Starlight breathed heavily, glaring down on the cowering white unicorn. Realizing what she was doing, Starlight got off the table and looked down in shame.

well she wanted a tired Starlight.

:rainbowlaugh: Cause nothing is more amusing than a tired person to talk to!:ajbemused:

well that is what I get from having to make my comment while reading the story:scootangel:

Don't feel bad. I like how you catalog your thoughts in the comments as you read along. It makes deciding what to do in my stories later a lot easier. I like to shape stories for my audience while keeping it my story. You know what I mean? Also the next chapter of Trixie Secretary Extraordinaire will be emotionally big so don't be in a bad mood when you read it. I still can't spell my title without spellcheck!!! Dang it!

What I mean is that Thunderclap needs to learn her place. She's Twilight's servant, not her nanny. An good servant is always there when you need them, never in the way, and anticipates their master's needs and desires. Thunderclap's role is to keep away everyone Twilight doesn't want to see, pass everyone she does, and only bother her mistress with a handful of edge cases. While I'm sure she received some training somewhere about how to do her job, ultimately she's answerable to her boss, not her teachers.

What she did wrong in particular was bar Starlight with a "by order of the Princess", not check with Twilight when Starlight said she lived there, and make an unwanted interjection into their conversation. Unless Twilight literally ordered her to keep everyone out, she made up orders or overstretched her authority on the first one, overstretched her authority on the second (it's her first day, she can ask), and spoke out of turn (servants don't get a turn) for the last.

Though, again, it is her first day. She's still got some time to learn before Twilight cans her. Hopefully, she'll get an opportunity to have her job spelled out to her by Twilight and then be smart enough to read between the lines to figure out her real job.

6794556 Don´t worry, Coffee should probably get me into the mood anyway, but to be sure I just don´t read if I´m to tired to think about what exactly I read. Sometimes I just can´t wait, but this time it had another reason.
Are you some sort of admin for the group? Not sure what the + means.
It is the third Starlight group I have seen so far, but right now this one looks still small and cozy.....that or my room is just a little bit to warm, I guess I stop the heater in a few minutes.
Not sure how much you have to decide, or what you prefer, but please try not to take to much story-corpses, that are staying there for two years, and probably never get an update, that was something I always hated, if I was actually looking for something good.


6794574 somehow because of your comment I suddennly start to like Thunderclap a little bit more.

6794608 I'm the artist for the group so far. Juuusst me.:ajsleepy:

Don't worry my stories aren't dead. Just sleeping. :raritywink:


6794574 I get you. :scootangel: Don't worry, Clappy will get hers soon. That's what happens when you have a uptight guard with a relaxed princess.

I guess the butterfly was already Luna huh?, or at least the sheeps, but I get the feeling she controlled the whole dream.
While I don´t think she needs to meddle with every dream, this is one of the times I really liked it, and the music was nice too.
It could be the music, but I think Starlight maybe actually needs to catch up on her lost fillyhood.
I mean even if she maybe overreacted that event was probably traumatising for her as a little filly, that and in some storys Ponys seems to be even more in the need of friends, and good emotions. However I like it if they are actually able to not cry right away, but since Starlight just started to change herself I would be okay with nearly every reaction she could have at the moment.

Nice chapter, maybe I listen to the music a few times more, the first music box I liked that much.

CUUUUTE!! Little dream Star was adorable! I agree with Texus, Star probably does have a need to catch up with her fillyhood.

But this dream was wonderfully done, and the music an excellent choice.:twilightsmile:

look! Praise! It makes me strong....

6812483

However I like it if they are actually able to not cry right away, but since Starlight just started to change herself I would be okay with nearly every reaction she could have at the moment.

Now, I get what you mean, but she DID lose her ONLY friend as a foal in the season finale. She then went on to explain that colt, starburst was his name? was her only friend she ever had up to that point. So I felt her reaction to cry in losing her friend was well justified. :raritywink: It actually makes me sad to think of that. Like when trixie was abused for not being able to take on an ursa minor. At least she tried. And little Star, clearly had no role models or other friends to help her.

Make sense? And keep a hold of that theory of yours.

6812976

CUUUUTE!! Little dream Star was adorable! I agree with Texus, Star probably does have a need to catch up with her fillyhood.
But this dream was wonderfully done, and the music an excellent choice.

This is the first time I out right tried to make something cute by any means. And not the lovey dovey kind like in my other stories. I wasn't too sure if I caught the foal innocence in the dream but glad you guys liked it! Keep hold of those theories.

Which reminds me.

BEHOLD PEONS FOR TRIXIE TRANSCENDS ALL OF TIME!

derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/11/28/1032212__safe_meme_screencap_trixie_image+macro_doctor+whooves_time+turner_spoiler-colon-s05e26_the+cutie+remark+-dash-+part+2_alternate+timeline.jpg

6813215 I guess I didn´t made it completely clear, like I said in starlights chase it is actually okay, but I just had read a story, where the Stallions is always running away after three sentences, or crying very fast, and even if I want to be nice, I can´t helpt myself but get annoyed because of it a bit.

Now I think you are talking about the episodes right? Well I think kids are reacting much stronger to everything they experience, so yes your right, that can be reason enough for her to turn out that bad. The thing with the role model could be true too.
While we haven´t seen any parents I somehow got the feeling no one tried to get her to make new friends.

It was a beautifull chapter, even if it was only the dream.

"I have no such reservations for monsters like you." She whispered into Starlight's ear making her shiver. "When I learned what you did in your little town and who was there I knew I had to get this post."

I noticed that I not reacting.....(what was the word for if I´m not standing on either side?), but I didn´t liked it that Starlight suddenly looked so weak. Maybe because I liked her attitude as a Villain, or because she is one of my top five (first or second actually), but that is only the first impression.

Not sure if that makes sence, but if I remember myself that she started to open up to others a bit, to change her hard personality, I think at the same time she is letting herself open for emotional attacks.

"I have connections in the Royal Courts Starlight Glimmer. Something you would do well to remember." the brown mare threatened, passing by and leaving Starlight to her thoughts.

ahhh yes I like you for that, you have a way to play a bit with emotions, or should I say set some sort of tension`....to the story? You know all the conflict moments, like when Applejack was hurting Applebloom in the other story, or some moments with those evil siblings in the other story.
This time it looks like she is very unprofessional, and probably has a important moment in this story, where Twilight has to "friendship" fix her, or that could actually be a task for Starlight. Can I say that looked like she was corrupted? Sorry if my comment is a bit unorganized today.

Starlight shook her head as the doors creaked. Just before they completely closed she caught sight of Guiding Wind giving a sly look and winked at her through the doors just before the shut. Starlight blushed slightly and quickly trotted down the isles looking for Twilight. It didn't take long before she fond the princess with her muzzle buried in a thick tome.

:heart::rainbowhuh: Not sure what that meant, but honestly I thought the maid likes Rainbow Dash.

As always I like it if there is something that doesn´t seems right in the story, but at the same time you manage to make it better than some others I think. In another story it looks like the main Char (Human, who else would get a bad time), is all the time, every day, evey second, and the whole year, punished with something sad that could make him insane. I guess he is my first real Gary Stue?

6823705 Oh don't worry. I know Star looks like a weakloing, but you have to also realize she is trying not to fight and use force first because she wants to change. This time she held back but that's not to say she will every time. Just saying.

I like powerful figures too.

As far as unprofessional goes that's exactly what I was going for between Star and Clappy. :rainbowlaugh:

ahhh yes I like you for that, you have a way to play a bit with emotions, or should I say set some sort of tension`....to the story? You know all the conflict moments, like when Applejack was hurting Applebloom in the other story, or some moments with those evil siblings in the other story.

Tensions something I like using as you have come to expect of me.:derpytongue2:


6823627

Glad you liked the ending. Your comments make this story 20% cooler every time you add to it. :twilightsmile:

6823864

Oh don't worry. I know Star looks like a weakloing, but you have to also realize she is trying not to fight and use force first because she wants to change. This time she held back but that's not to say she will every time. Just saying.

If I have to be really honest, then yes I like it if the character can hold his ground, but I get the feelng this is more because I know her old personality.

Not sure if I can really see it that way, but I always start to think Starlight has problems with her emotions right after her change, it is a new.....thing for her (Oh god I really have problems to find the words I want to use at the moment.

Well I just wanted to be sure you know what I mean, since I sometimes get the feeling that I make my comments more confusing than anything else. However I think once again you understood enough, and I guess you could say it was a bit like Celestia would cower from Ironwill or how that minatour was named.
Well again nice story, I now I have to wait a bit before I can say much sometimes in your storys, and it wasn´t something bad, just something unexpected.

6685745 Okay, so I think this story has improved massively... AND you've decided to follow one of my stories. So, being the shameless person I am, I'm taking away your 1 downmark... making this story have a perfect 100% record of pluses!! HURRAH!!

6828044 Wow, thanks. I have to admit most people wouldn't do what you did, from my personal experience anyway. Glad you decided to stick around and like the improvement.

I am curious though, what improvements did you like?:raritywink:

Also I love drama and Diamond Tiara and Silver. They're my favorite fillies.

6828298 Hi there. Well, let's see... I like Starlight's interaction with the Mane 6, the new characters you've introduced and the storyline, which seems to be moving in an unexpected direction.

Anyway, the reason I decided to reread this story is because someone on this site gave me a second chance, so I decided to give some stories on this site I disliked a second go... And yours stood out as one I unfairly judged. So, please accept my apology (I don't always adhere to the motto in my avatar, lol) in jumping the gun on this fic. So, keep on updating now! :)

6828339 Oh, well I'm glad you liked it! Hope you like what's coming up next!

6828362 I hope so too... Don't let me regret my humiliating climbdown :moustache:

This looks like a sweet story:twilightsmile:

This story looks great so far. The interaction between Starlight and Pokey was sweet, and I really like the idea of Pokey being Trixie's brother, as well as the idea of Starlight learning the magic of friendship. However, I feel the need to point out that you misspelled "friendship" in the chapter title.

6848779 Thanks for that. I like the idea of Pokey being Trixie's brother too. I actually got the idea from a picture I saw a while ago and played with the idea for a while but never implemented it. Part of the problem was it never fit in. :twilightsmile:

And oops. Typo in the title! Not good! Thanks for letting me know! My editor and I completely missed that. :facehoof:

6848795 You're welcome. For future references, do you think most writers on this sight are offended by commenters pointing out misspellings?

6848807 I'm not sure.

I personally don't care cause I'd like to know so I can fix them. I reguallry read my own fics and improve them as much as I can but I always miss something. So I love it when others point it out. As long as they're polite about it. Like you! :raritywink:

Now if someone were to say you suck and you're spelling is horrible then yes it'd offend most people. In fact my editor originally upset me with his comment about how I never capitalized the characters names, which I did and made very clear, and one thing lead to another and that was that. Now he's my Daimond Tiara, erm editor.

Also dang you read fast. What do you think of the story so far?

6848903 Got it. The reason I asked is because my family keeps telling me not to do that unless I'm the beta reader, but I disagree with that.

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