FOAL FREE PRESS
WEDDING DAY MARRED BY MONSTER ATTACK AND SCHEDULING ERRORS
A couple in the town of Ponyville nearly had to cancel their wedding plans due to an unexpected error in the invitations; due to mistakes made by a mailpony identified only as “Muffins,” the date printed on the cards was listed as one day earlier than had been planned. As a result, the couple, donkeys Cranky Doodle and Matilda, were faced with a choice between rescheduling their wedding and canceling it altogether.
“In the end, we decided that the only choice was to move everything up to today,” Matilda says. “We’d rather have a rushed ceremony than not get married at all. We’ve been waiting far too long already.”
Unfortunately, while the couple scrambled to get their act together, a monstrous bugbear decided to attack the town. Fortunately, Princess Twilight and her harem were able to bring the beast under control before it could cause too much damage. In addition, reports indicate that an unknown benefactor known only as “Agent Sweet E. Drops” was somehow involved in the conflict.
In the end, despite the many issues facing them, the couple was finally married. However, even after the ceremony, a final unexpected surprise followed: a changeling was spotted among the guests, after which it successfully evaded capture. Princess Celestia, who was present at the ceremony, insists that the Ponyville guard is incompetent.
“That bug was there for hours, and then it just slips away without anypony to catch it. Why? I don’t know, but it sure isn’t my responsibility!”
After the ceremony, several other couples expressed a desire to get married. In particular, a lesbian couple consisting of earth pony Bonbon and unicorn Lyra Heartsrings are already making plans for their own wedding.
“Up until recently, we couldn’t openly express our love for each other,” Heartstrings explains. “Due to laws restricting our rights, as well as people’s opinions about our love, we had to maintain the true nature of our relationship a secret, only ever referring to each other as ‘best friends.’”
“Fortunately,” Bonbon says, “public opinion on homosexual marriage has become much more accepting over the years. And, thanks to the Equestrian Supreme Court’s most recent ruling on marriage equality and gay rights, we can finally be united in matrimony!”
The editors would like to congratulate these two mares, as well as any couple who wishes to get married, regardless of class, race, or gender.
And pretty soon you'll be united in a whole new way in your dreams.
According to Larson, the changeling was a friend of Matilda's.
Cranky and Matilda's Wedding
*1/2 /5
I had heard about this event and was intrigued. I hadn't ever tried a dish that had been percolating for nearly 40 years, but the whole thing was a mess. Just about everything went wrong. The flavour was almost completely ruined by all the stress stemming from everyone running around trying to get the event ready a day early and the giant monster attacking the town. And the children were also mucking things up.
Would not recommend.
-Doomie Jr.
6203735 and you believe him?
6204041 Sure. Chrysalis can't be the only hive out there.
6203735 Interesting, I guess that would explain why no one took notice of it.
6204087 That's true though the changeling could've been of Chrysalis' hive and could be a step towards pony-changeling peace relations finally.
6204719 Maybe a little of both?
Dear Diary,
Day five inside the Bug-Bear.
I believe I have entered the small intestine. The puking seems to occur like clockwork every two minutes and forty-five seconds. However, I cannot be sure of this since there is no light or way to tell time inside of a monster's organs. But at least Princess Milkshake put a spell on me to prevent me from dying. Also, I may be hallucinating from a lack of oxygen and having to constantly eat my own vomit, talking candle. And that was the third time I saw that dancing goomba. Right after I miked that flying dog.
Signed azure milk toad,
Singing Monkey Elevator.
~KBO.
6204195
Ya know, besides the fillies and colts who were cowering away from it instead of sitting next to it.
Awesome.