We all know how this goes, don't we? Some unlucky schmuck goes to a Halloween party or convention dressed up as someone evil, gets sent to Equestria, and then ends up antagonizing the locals.

Well my story goes a bit differently. My name is Isaac Donohue, and after a night of drunken partying that I STILL can't remember, I wake up in Equestria fifteen hundred years before the events of canon with five seemingly random superpowers:

Angelic Physiology, so I'm frickin gorgeous now. Oxygen Independence, so I don't need to breath. Asexual Reproduction, just call me Mister Mommy why don't you...Bubble Breath, something useless that I rarely use. Power Replication, otherwise known as a game breaker.

So anyways I befriended everyone's favorite draconequus Discord, and we made such beautiful chaos together. Well, it was more of me trying to reform him before he got stoned by the Princesses in an effort to change history for the better. What a waste of time that was, and as a result of this I got petrified as well for being his accomplice. Can you believe that?

Since I'm free, I've decided to settle down and rule a kingdom of my own. I'm sure there are enough tyrants in the world that need to be overthrown despite Sunbutt's best efforts. But if there aren't any, I'm pretty sure I can steal the Crystal Empire from Sombra before Shining Armor and Cadence do.

The only problem is, THE LAW WON'T STOP CHASING ME!

A LoHAV story that I'm writing as I go on.

ANNOUNCEMENT 6/4/2017: I'm sorry, but this story is cancelled. This has been a long time coming. As I've progressed as a writer I look back on this story with increasing amounts of disgust. Still, I know people enjoy it for some reason which is why I'm leaving it up for posterity's sake. Maybe I'll completely rewrite it from the ground up in the future, but that time is not now.

Set after Twilight's ascension, the previously considered senseless tribes of humans are holding their own against a powerful Griffin invasion set against their civilized homeland.

The humans, as they are, are little more than savage beast with honed killing instincts. The brutality of these abominations is second to none. They fight amongst each other and sell the defeated males into slavery for things that they couldn't produce on their own.

However, they now seem more organized and united now than ever. Which has Celestia worried about a possible growing threat.

Twilight is sent on a mission to learn as much she can about the humans and their tribal ways, and as she continues her journey she begins to unravel the mysteries of a species that perhaps, should have stayed dead.
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Twilight is set as the main character in this adventure and is told through her point of view... more or less.

Not 100% percent sure where I'm going with this story, but that's part of the fun, and I know I'll get there eventually.

The pic was made by a, BLAZ PORENTA, to my knowledge, at blazporenta.blogspot.com

Also, this is my first real story here, so please give me criticism and your opinions on the story.

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Considering rewrite
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And also I want to say thanks to mikemeiers my editor

Okay let's just go over everything that's happened so far. Dragged into a road trip, check. Dragged to a convention, check. Dragged through dimension. Wait what? Okay, universe. Stop! Seriously what did I do to deserve that last one! Stop throwing me into impossibly horrible situations! It was bad enough being world thrown, but public enemy number 1!? What did I ever do to you!?

Evidently, I must have done a lot. I have been trapped here with nothing but my wit and ingenuity, but I'm still alive and have at least one friend. I decided that it would be better make the most out of my new life, and see if I can live at all in this crazed world of Magic and Myths. Hopefully I won't screw up too badly. I fear what may come if I do. Though.... this is all starting to feel familiar. I'm having some difficulty remembering from where though.
Co-authored from chapter 22 and on with Shinigamisparda

Alt Cover Art
Story inspired by "F**k it, I'm having fun" by JimmytheGrape and everything else in the League of Humans acting Villainous.
Props to them! Cover art is not mine.
Edit*2/13/2014*FEATUREBOXYES!
Edit**4/28/14**Technopathic is amazing and you should thank her greatly for working on new cover art for me. It's not done, but as she does it, I will continue to update my cover.
Edit***5/23/14*** NEW cover art is COMPLETE!
Edit****6/28/14**** Old cover art is back by popular demand

Hey there. Name's Discord. I'm the janitor at a high school. I clean up after bratty teenagers and the odd drama queen or two that turns into a demon and wrecks up the school. Ain't my job grand?

Birthday gift to my bro Skeeter The Lurker, a really rad dude everyone should check out!

Awesome art from the greatly talented ManiacPaint, who you should definitely check out for more good art!

"We live in what we believe is a shell, a closed sphere where all is constant. As physics would have it, nothing in the universe is unique, nothing is wasted or destroyed: it is repurposed. But now I prove them wrong. With a single idea, I realize that we are not so insignificant as we think. We are not slaves to destiny and existence. We are the ashes of gods, the fruits of eternity, the products of choice and fate. We are not meaningless. This universe is not our prison.

This is our empire."

- Excerpt from A Lexicon of Impossibilities, by Cypher

Special thanks:
AeronJVL, for the amazing cover art.
Emberspeak, Forderz, RTStephens, PropMaster, and RazgrizS57 for their editing.
shortskirtsandexplosions for the idea.

Vaati the Wind Mage has grown bored with the whole villain thing. He's trapped himself in a cycle doomed to repeat itself forever. Seeking a way to escape this miserable cycle of escape, kidnapping, and defeat, the legendary sorcerer inadvertantly teleports himself to another world entirely; a world populated by talking magical ponies who believe friendship is magic. Just how will the former villain survive this sugar bowl of a world? Will he end up learning a few lessons in friendship himself? One thing's for sure, retirement has never been this exciting.

AUTHOR NOTE: This story takes place in an episodic format. That is, it follows the style of the show in that every chapter is an 'episode', hence why they will all be lengthy. Some episodes will be canon ones with Vaati along for the ride, and others will be original where Vaati takes center-stage. The first episode takes place shortly after 'Griffon the Brush-Off'. Vaati is from Legend of Zelda and is property of Nintendo. You already know who owns FiM.

Power. Notoriety. Money. Drugs. Mares. Fear. Weapons. Racing chariots. Blood. Respect.

...Pipsqueak?!

This is the tale of how one little colt inherits the largest criminal organization in the history of Equestria, and manages to turn the underworld on its head...

A collaborative effort between the Esteemed Scholar of Debauchery, Mister Moniker, and myself. If that wasn't motivation enough, you are sad and I no longer wish to speak with you.

It was suppose to be a normal day of sky diving for two bored friends. But fate had other plans for our them, as they somehow traveled to an alternate universe. This not only proves the multiverse theory, but also leaves our friends bored, confused, and, worst of them all, hungry. how will they deal with this new odd possibly dangerous universe? Will they accept their new life? Or rage quit and destroy everything? Okay maybe not the destroying everything....yet. How will they react to the technicolor inhabitants? How will the inhabitants react to them? Why am I still asking these questions? Why are you still reading this description? Read the damn story already!

Warning: This story takes place at the beginning of season one. There will also be many bad jokes and puns. You've been warned.

A colaborative story with Xx -Sycro- xX Date Featured: 08/06/2013

Fluttershy has found a new kind of creature in the forest. After tending to its wound, she brings it home with her and decides to keep it as her own. She soon realizes that this creature is more than just an animal and soon finds a way to communicate with it since neither of them speak the same language.

In one of the most bizarre incidents to ever occur in Ponyville, Pinkie Pie's Hearth-Warming-in-July party results in the reviving of a relic from Equestria's prehistory: A Neighanderthal. Cast out of his own time and thrust into a culture that is alien to him, he struggles to adapt. Luckily, the Mane Six have decided to help him find his place in the world. But nopony said it was going to be easy, especially since there is a twenty-five-thousand year span of history he has missed out on.