The Neighanderthal

by Mr. Grimm

Fight In The Everfree

Tarpan quickly trotted through the clearing towards the forest. He knew that he shouldn’t of left as he did, but he needed to be alone. He needed to think, to clear his head of the confusions that had bombarded him the very moment he had woken up in the middle of the strange pony settlement. Everything was different about this place, so much so that he thought he was in a different land altogether. The most noticeable difference was the heat. Tarpan had never recalled it being this warm, even in the summer months. He began to sweat beneath his thick fur, making him uncomfortable. This strengthened his resolve to get to the trees. He could rest beneath the shade, and contemplate his dilemma there.

The Neighanderthal had almost made it to the forest when a feminine voice rang out, saying something in the language he didn’t understand. He froze, then swung his angular head from side to side to look for its source. It called out again. Tarpan’s ears perked up as he heard the direction it had come from. He glanced upward to see a gray mare with a blond mane hovering above him, beating feathery wings. Tarpan raised a thick eyebrow as he noticed her yellow eyes, which did not seem to correctly match up. One of them looked down at the Neighanderthal.

The mare spoke again in her bubbly voice, her mouth in an innocent smile. Her words made no sense to Tarpan, but from her demeanor he took her to be greeting him. He bid her hello in his language, though he had little hope of her understanding him. Predictably, she did not. Tarpan sighed, and wiped a powerful hoof across his brow. The mare in the sky descended to the ground in front of him, and continued to talk. Tarpan suddenly heard a masculine voice cry out.

Both he and the mare turned to see a brown pony with a spiky mane running up to them. He seemed to be yelling something at the wall-eyed mare. He didn’t look angry, but seemed rather concerned, especially when he stopped in front of Tarpan. He cast a worried look at the winged equine, saying something in a very low, nervous tone. For a moment the mare just stared blankly at him. But slowly, Tarpan noticed that she too began to look worried. At that moment the stallion turned to the relic.

“I’m very sorry about all this,” he said in perfect Neighanderthal, “But, um, your being here seems to indicate that I made some kind of mistake. Be right back.” Tarpan’s jaw dropped as the stallion and the mare both took off sprinting. Before he could even think to chase after them, they had already jumped inside of a blue box at the edge of the meadow. Tarpan watched in awe as it began to fade, letting out a harsh grinding noise as it disappeared into thin air. He stood very still for a moment, trying to figure out what had happened. When he couldn’t, he decided to forget the whole thing and continued on to the forest.

Twilight raced through the streets of Ponyville, followed by both the Elements and the Princesses. The town’s inhabitants turned their heads as the eight ponies fled by, feeling somewhat strange to see Equestrian royalty running down the roads of their humble home.

“Where are we going, Twilight?” Rainbow Dash said as she flew above the unicorn.

“I don’t know yet,” replied the purple mare. She was currently wracking her brain in an attempt to figure out where a Neighanderthal would go if he was in Tarpan’s situation. Very little was known about their behavior in general, as they had been extinct for some twenty-five thousand years. Just as she was trying to remember an article she’d read on an archaeological dig, it suddenly occurred to Twilight that Tarpan might have been overwhelmed by the afternoon’s events. He would probably seek out somewhere he could collect himself, somewhere where he wouldn’t be bothered by anypony. Twilight could only think of one place in the area that would appeal to him. Unfortunately, this area was both quiet and devoid of ponies because it was incredibly dangerous.

“To the Everfree forest!” she cried.

Tarpan tread between the tree trunks, his mind engulfed in thought. So far he had figured out that he had somehow ended up in a gigantic tribe from the Southlands. He had absolutely no idea how they could sustain themselves in such large numbers, but they seemed to be full and thriving. Ponies from the Southlands always seemed to be doing better than his kind, but never as well as this. They must have been from somewhere else entirely. For one thing they seemed to be speaking an entirely different language. They also had the strangest chieftains Tarpan had ever seen.

A sudden noise made the Neighanderthal freeze in his tracks. It was a noise that could not have been heard by anypony else but him. Not only did he have the acute senses required to hear such a noise, he also knew what to listen for. Tarpan quietly inhaled, taking in a sample of the air. Once it hit his olfactory organs, it confirmed that he had indeed heard something. He continued to stand still, not moving a muscle. He could hear the something walking, padding across the forest floor with a stealth he respected and feared. Tarpan could tell by its movement that it did not know he was there. If he remained still, perhaps it would pass him by.

The Neighanderthal’s eyes went wide with horror as he heard a group of ponies loudly trampling into the forest a ways behind him.

“Come on,” said Twilight, “He couldn’t have gone--” She was suddenly cut off by a thunderous roar. The mare’s eyes turned into pinpricks as she spotted its source, which appeared before her in the form of a large and decidedly hungry feline.

“LYBBARDE!” screeched the unicorn as she leapt six feet up in the air. Her cry was followed by a procession of screams emanating from her accomplices. Even the Princesses were terrified by the monstrous cat, its tensed muscles showing beneath its black fur. A bristly tongue ran flickered between two huge saber teeth as it hungrily licked its chops, eyeing up its prey with two pale-green eyes.

“Everypony stand back!” Princess Celestia commanded as she was joined by her sister. The six ponies huddled behind the alicorns as their horns glowed with a magnificent light. The Lybbarde sneered angrily, unsheathing its claws. Before it could attack, a beam of the Alicorn’s combined magic flew through the air towards the snarling predator.

However, upon impacting the creature, the beam of magic burst into little bits of light, falling from the creature’s frightening form like bits of broken glass. The two sisters looked upon this unexpected feat with horrified awe. Out of all the ponies present, it was only Twilight who knew the terrible secret of the Lybbarde’s survival. They were ancient creatures, dating back to Tarpan’s time. Though thankfully scarce, they were one of a small number of Equestrian species that possessed an ability that terrified unicorns everywhere: They were immune to magic. When this became apparent to everypony else, there was only one other card to play.

“Do something, Fluttershy!” cried Rarity as the unicorn hid behind the cream-colored Pegasus. Fluttershy turned to see everypony looking at her. The pink-haired mare gulped and apprehensively trotted forward towards the salivating monster.

“Uh-um, hello Mr. Lybbarde,” she squeaked, “I-I was just…um…” She was cut off as the Lybbarde let out a series of terrifying snarls. She turned back to her friends and relayed the feline’s message.

“He says he’d like us to join him for dinner--AH!” She suddenly cried out as Dash flew forward and pulled her out of the way, narrowly missing the Lybbarde’s slashing claws. The very same moment, an unkempt pony came charging out of the undergrowth. The Lybbarde turned just in time to see it ram into its side, knocking it from its paws. The eight ponies flinched as it sprang back up, letting out a furious roar as it faced its attacker. The pony retaliated by letting out a bellow of his own. The Lybbarde snapped its jaws and swiped its paw at the equine.

Twilight watched openmouthed as Tarpan once again charged at what was considered one of the most dangerous creatures in all Equestria. Moments before he impacted, the Neighanderthal leapt into the air, landing awkwardly on the feline’s back. The sudden weight of the equine threw the monster off balance, and the Lybbarde tipped over on its side. The onlookers then watched as the two combatants proceeded to roll about on the ground, kicking up patches of earth as they fought. Though it was considered insanity to even consider engaging a Lybbarde in hoof to hoof combat, they would later state that Tarpan made it look relatively easy.

The short but furious battle was finally ended when Tarpan grabbed the animal in a headlock and shoved it downwards, stabbing the Lybbarde’s saber teeth into the earth. Though it could have easily drawn them back out, it was far too tired to continue the fight. So was Tarpan, apparently, as he suddenly passed out next to the creature. Very quickly and quietly, the eight mares crept up besides the exhausted Lybbarde, picked up their unconscious savior, and fled like mad out of the Everfree.

Comments

[Dirty Bit]

Hehehe, the Doctor was hilarious as ever. And for some reason, the fight in this chapter made me think of Beauty and the Beast, when Beast engaged with the wolves.

[RavynKarasu]

DOCTOR HOOVES!!!!!

[JBL]

Aaaaand there's the crappy Dr. Hooves cameo.

[Frazzled Pony]

I like the rest of the story, but this chapter is far beneath the rest in quality. Mostly because I agree with
2952493.

But even more because you felt the need to shoehorn in a creature that specifically was immune to the princesses in order to give Tarpan a chance to be awesome. I could see it coming a mile away, not that that's bad, but if you wanted this kind of scene, then you should have kept the princesses out of the picture. If you had just had the patience or foresight to ensure the princesses absence, either by not having them actually show up yet (they weren't exactly helpful yet) or having this happen after they left, you could have had the exact same events transpire, without it feeling so forced. As it is now, you pull something out of the hat that only exists in the story to give Tarpan a chance to shine and that bugs me. I would have like this much better if it had only been the mane 6 and then if you had used a manticore. That way, he could have jumped it and beaten it before the other recovered from the shock and you would have avoided the incredibly cliche "oh, it is conveniently immune to magic, so all the competent canon characters suddenly need the help of the OC".

Now, bear in mind that the rant is powered by the disappointment and that disappointment is only there because the rest of the story is quite good.