In one of the most bizarre incidents to ever occur in Ponyville, Pinkie Pie's Hearth-Warming-in-July party results in the reviving of a relic from Equestria's prehistory: A Neighanderthal. Cast out of his own time and thrust into a culture that is alien to him, he struggles to adapt. Luckily, the Mane Six have decided to help him find his place in the world. But nopony said it was going to be easy, especially since there is a twenty-five-thousand year span of history he has missed out on.
Chapters (13)
I swear, when you mentioned the Krampus, I thought of the Venture Bros.
Also, I never thought a fic like this would be born into this fandom. Consider this thing tracked
NEEIGHANDERTHAL!
da krampus! Whatever that is.
Liking it so far. Everyone feels in character and I look forward to seeing where you take this.
Krumpus? Makes sense Pinkie know that tale given her puritan upbringing.
Well dragons are Apex Predators; I'm guessing their relations with ponies we're less cordial in Tarpan's time.
It won't be long until he's either prone to future shock or speaking with lack of personal pronouns while seeming accepting to Equestria's modern culture.
I shall await that moment with a smile bigger than this
1036333
From the ancient past. It'll be explained in the next chapter.
TRUFFLE SHUFFLE!!!
I actually did laugh out loud at that.
Fuck yo' bread!
Just give him to the Princesses, I am sure Luna can find some use for him.
I want to see Tarpan talk to Derpy...Or maybe the Doctor, but I shall await to see what ideas go through your head
"Twilight let out a loud sigh as he released her magical hold on it."
"as he"
Shouldn't it be as she? It'd make more sense, but the her and magical hold after that would make it have less sense than it would have with a she. So, change that with a she, will you?
1058028
But Doctor Whooves will just send him to the past and ruin all his friendships! That is why I dislike having Doctor Whooves in stories.
But I better deal with it. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
1058251
Actually, I set it up so he can't be sent back to the past, as he is technically there already. Sending him back would probably create some kind of paradox.
The language spell being super-hard is logical. But I think that unicorns can work together to cast difficult spells cooperatively for three reasons. First it would fit the theme of the show "Friendship is Magic". Second Pegasi can combine their weather magic to create and control large storms it isn't much of a leap to assume that unicorns can do something similar with their own abilities. Third it would make no sense to have books full of spells that practically nopony can cast; Twilight is a once a millenium super-prodigy if a spell is hard for her its flat impossible for anypony else. Anypony else casting it alone anyway.
If Twilight, Luna and Celestia cast it cooperatively it should be manageable.
1235984
HEAR HEAR!
Hehehe, the Doctor was hilarious as ever. And for some reason, the fight in this chapter made me think of Beauty and the Beast, when Beast engaged with the wolves.
Hah! That last line
You can't beat the classics.
Fun Fact: The artist in the link is the same man who composed the famous 'Sabre Dance'
Ugga ugga. Me like story. Me want more!!
nice job
Yay! It updated! *commences read*
EDIT: Heh, so the changeling finally speaks at the end. Would've been funny if both Tarpan and Edgar were both verbally incapable throughout the chapter
The question remains, however...Everfree Forest or Whitetail Woods?
This can only end in tears if she puts Tarpan in a cage...
I'm kind of thinking of the episode of Billy and Mandy where Billy did such a deed to Fred Flintstone
I wonder whatever happened to the Doctor...
Eh, I'm sure he's fine, whenever he is.
In any case, most entertaining thus far. I look forward to more, especially when the Mane Six eventually track down poor Tarpan.
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Plus, assuming Pinkie's parents the Equestrian version of Amish or Pennylvania Dutch, they would have a version of Belsnickel who indeed punished bad children and was feared. I only know this because I live near Amish country by one country away.
I read the story as it being a Neanderthal... but oh well, Neighanderthal is just as good.
2436598 Don't you mean Jake Steel?
2456098 I see what you did there
Five out of six, not all. Spike is...not invited to an activity with his only close friends for some reason? It always puts a frown on my face when he's treated as an outcast rather than what he actually is: part of the group.
404 on that "something." Following this story.
1021523 The Krampus, to the best of my knowledge is either a German or Austrian tradition (possibly both) in which an individual dresses up as a demon-looking thing and gives sweets to kids and...I don't remember what they do to bad kids. It's been a while since I last heard about it. The point is though, it's a nation-wide thing for them, and it's expected every Christmas.
1235984 Perhaps that would make sense, if not but for a single fact. You see, when Pegasi combine their magic, they are simply combining the power in an easy to perform way while moving in an easy to follow direction while doing the same thing. Do you see all the places unicorns casting spells could go wrong? For one thing, all the ponies would likely have to be extremely well versed in the spell being performed, and simply lack the power to cast it alone. This spell seems like it needs more finesse than strength. Secondly, the Unicorns would have to cast the spell at the same speed, inputting the same amount of energy while avoid any mistakes whatsoever. I'm not saying it's impossible, as our orchestras do something similar every time they perform, but it would have to be very well practised.
Oh-ho...So Tarpan finally speaks, hm? This is gonna be interesting, knowing that he's now evolving at an alarming rate.
Fun fact: did you know that music is subjective? Not only that, but that a sense of what sounds good in music, what sounds sad, what sounds happy, and what sound mad are all based on what a person hears when they are growing up? While we might be able to detect the emotion behind a piece of music from a different culture we don't get enjoyment out of it unless we listen to it as we grow up. Also, we have to expect to hear emotion out of something for it to contain any. For example, I could walk around playing guitar in my school, but not a single person will be moved by it if they don't expect to be.
In other words, you'd better choose yours very carefully.
2659402
As I understood it the language teaching spell gave Tarpan the ability to understand Modern Equestrian but his vocal chords can't make the full range of sounds necessary to speak it without great effort. But, right now lives are in danger and that kind of effort is warranted.
Tarpan. The king of the tundra, and the speech. Behold, and worship, at his might call.
"Big-Blachk bug-pony!" Coincidentally, I'm picturing this guy with a sort of Germanic accent, as with the phonetics you've typed out, it's the only way it makes sense. They do have some pretty gutteral sounds in that language.
2659675 Noted. Duress can bring about the best in folks, human and pony alike
So apparently Twilight actually did have her closest and youngest companion stay shut up in the library, away from social interaction, while she ran off to do something fun with the rest of their friends. Then Rainbow Dash showed a disturbing level of flippancy when her young pal was almost beaten to death by a hairy, smelly brute, and there still exists a shadow of a doubt that Tarpan is fully convinced that murdering him is off limits, which no one cares to address even after the language spell is in place (and considering the violent tragedy that nearly occurred, it should've been the first thing Twilight explained to Tarpan). And Pinkie threw, not one, but TWO big parties without inviting Spike.
I gave it a chance after the first chapter, and although Derpy's role in the story and Vinyl's “old school” line made me crack up pretty good, I just can't stand the idea of Spike's alleged friends treating him like a background character in their own lives, as if his friendship is optional and his happiness, safety, and sense of security are inconsequential statistics.
Some days, you just can't be bothered to maintain your happy-go-lucky cover story. Not when faced with an insecticidal maniac. Looking forward to more.
2659959
I am now imagining Tarpan as Equestria's answer to Arnold Schwarzenegger. And it is glorious.
Dear Mr. Grimm, I was pondering as to where that cover photo came from? It seems rather familiar, and while I do have a hunch, I am uncertain.
The title was fitting. Was beginning to think he would either take a liking to bananas or use them as weapons
2791104
I believe it's an image taken from the Lascaux cave paintings in France. As to the exact source, I don't quite remember...
Okay, this sounds just too promising not to read!
2791433
If I am not mistaken, it's from the opening sequence of Clan of the Cave Bear.
Tarpan may be clumsy and brutish, but hay if I ever found a near-pony this amusing to watch!
Tarpan may be clumsy and brutish, but hay if I ever found a near-pony this amusing to watch!
So, Tarzan is the king of apes...Right? So tell me, what is Tarpan the king of? Drapes? Capes? Tapes? Could it be...Fates? Granted, that last one is a bit of a rhyming stretch, but still.
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Me too, I had to stop and give a good nostalgia roll for that one
Fluttershy is the epitome of adorable in this chapter.
And as for anything else....Oh, Luna... silly, silly Luna...
DOCTOR HOOVES!!!!!