One sleep cycle later.....
Spez slowly began to stir in his sleep. He slowly opened his heavy eyelids which seemed to burn a bit. When he fully opened them he turned his a head a bit and found himself in the same ruins that they slept in last night.
“Ah shit monkeys,” Spez said. He sat up and looked down at his hands for a few seconds. “Damn it!” He slammed his fist on the cobblestone floor, but then he regretted it once he began to feel the pain rush through it.
“Son of a bitch!” Spez grabbed his hand and began to squeeze it to try and alleviate the pain.
Sycro began to stir and turned his body towards Spez to see what the commotion was about. He looked to find Spez gripping his hand and cringing in pain.
“Really?...I wake up and you’re already hurting yourself.” Sycro looked around to see if last night was a hallucination. “Great, we’re still here...I guess everything we did and everything we saw was real.” Sycro said in a strangely calm tone.
Sycro looked away and began to think before he heard an ear shattering scream that sounded strangely similar to his little sister’s, “HOLY CRAP! You mean to tell me that everything was real?!”
Sycro simply nodded, “This could be-”
Before he could finish he heard a thud against the cobblestone. “Oh you gotta be kidding.” He just simply stared as Spez lay sprawled out on the cobblestone, completely unconscious.
He felt one of his eyes twitch as he realized that he was now stuck with a passed out cripple in the ruins of an old castle. “I’m going to kill him when he wakes up.”
Sycro stands up, his joints making audible pops as he stands straight. He let’s out a muffled grunt as he begins to stretch and as more pops were heard. He looked around, but nothing in particular caught his interest, though there was one thing he wondered.
“Wait...do we have food?” Sycro started to look around frantically for his bag, until he found it in the window sill that was closest to where he had slept.
He gave a sigh of relief at the fact that they still had it, though there was still the matter of whether or not it had food. Sycro reached the sill and reached for the bag and as he grabbed onto the strap he felt a sharp pain reach his hand.
“Ahh!” He backed away quickly, grabbing his hand tightly along with a hissing sound making itself present. He looked up and saw a snake coiling itself around and squeeze his bag as if it were something that it couldn’t live without. “Oh, you’re gonna pay for that you little piece of crap.”
He didn’t want to go for it directly since that would be stupider than Spez trying to feed the elephants again...that mud got everywhere. He had to find a way to lure it away from the bag, without it biting him again, there’s no telling if it was poisonous or not. He approached it and tried to reach for the bag only to have the snake try to bite him again, thankfully he pulled his arm away in time.
“Damn...how am I suppose to get the bag?! It’s like the snake thinks it’s it’s eggs or something!” Sycro just stared at the snake as it flashed it’s fangs and hissed at him. “Maybe if I hit it with something,” He said aloud to himself.
He looked along the ground finding only little pieces of crushed stone and vines growing under the pieces that were still connected to the ground. He kept looking around, but the largest piece of stone he could find was no larger than his nose.
“Better than nothing.” He gave an exasperated sigh and picked up the stone.
He heard the snake hiss behind him and he just cast it a sideways glance, before turning to it. He threw his arm back and aimed it the best he could.
“This better work.” He threw his arm forward and flung the rock.
He watched as the snake threw it’s head back, though it was hard to tell whether he had hit it or if it had dodged the stone. It shot it’s head back up and opened its mouth wide, shooting it’s fork tongue out as it hissed. Sycro gave another exasperated sigh and just glared at the snake. He began to grit his teeth a bit and he was clenching his fists a bit too tightly.
“Alright you little twerp, you wanna play like that?” He took an offensive stance and continued to glare at the snake. “Then let’s play.”
He charged at the snake and held out his arms, ready to strangle the thing at any moment, though things didn’t go quite as planned. Right when he grabbed the snake by the neck he forgot the the windows only reach up to his thighs and ended up falling out of it with the snake in his grasp and his bag surprisingly still in the window sill.
All that could be heard was him rolling around on the ground as he spat swears at the snake, as it attempted to bite him multiple times. Oddly enough, he ended up rolling to the front of the castle and was still wrestling with the snake, how this didn’t wake Spez, we’ll never know.
While this was going on there was a quiet rustling in the many bushes that were close to the window sill that Sycro had fallen out of. A sapphire blue hoof, covered by a sparkling blue glass shoe, stepped out along with four others in a sort of prone position. It was that little alicorn that they had seen the night before with the larger white alicorn and those other ponies, and the one that Spez flipped off.
She was chuckling quietly, having seen the incident with Sycro and the snake. She looked up at the window sill that he had fallen out of and noticed the bag. She tilted her head a bit and stared at it, her interest peaked at what could be inside of it. She tries to use her magic to bring it over to her, but the only thing that happens is the appearance of small blue sparkles around the bag.
“That’s odd.” She looks around to make sure that she doesn’t get caught and once she’s satisfied she sneakily makes her way over to the window sill. She uses her hoof to shoo away the little magical sparkles and studies the bag. It didn’t look like any bag she’d ever seen before and had some odd looking silver devices on it that seemed to move along some odd linked shapes. She grabbed the device between her teeth and pulled back on it, but nothing happened so she tried to pull up on it. She ended up hearing an odd noise and noticed that the device had moved up.
“Huh?” She looked at the device and noticed that under it the odd line had been split apart.
She brought one of her cyan eyes down to the small opening and tried to look inside, but it was too dark to see anything. She went back to the device and gripped it in between her teeth once again, and she started to pull it upward. She heard that odd noise again and soon found that she couldn’t pull it anymore, she looked down and saw that the entire line had been split.
She couldn’t help but squeal a bit before she used her hooves to pry it open it. She looked inside and saw even more odd items, though one of them looked strangely similar to something that she had seen before. She tried to use her magic to get everything out, but found that it didn’t work on any of these things either.
With a frustrated sigh she reached her muzzle in and grabbed the first thing she felt in between her teeth. She pulled the object out and lightly rested it on the window sill without bothering to see what it was first. She looked down at it and her curiosity only grew, it was an odd black rectangular shaped device, that was only a few centimeters thick. She saw something near the bottom of it that was circular and had a white rectangle outline. It looked like some sort of button, though she didn’t really bother thinking about the consequences when she pressed the button.
Spez started to stir as he heard his favorite song start to play and a smile graced his face. He tried opening his eyes, but found that they felt heavier than usual and that his vision was blurred. He sat up, but regretted that soon after when he felt something in his leg move and a sharp pain shoot throughout his leg.
“HOLY SHIT!” Spez fell back down onto his back, and gripped his leg, putting pressure on it in hopes of relieving some of the pain.
The little alicorn froze as soon as she heard the pained cries and hid behind the stone wall under the window, in hopes of not being seen. But when she heard another cry, she couldn’t help but poke her head up a bit to see what was going on. It was definitely the same thing that she barely remembers from her memory. She looked at its features, and judging by the sound of its screams, it was male.
It had weird, but similar looking clothing on and lots of it. It’s limbs were long and had claws at the end, though they seemed to be rounded at the end. It’s eyes were small like a predator, it’s mane was short and black, but most important of all, it was hurt. Why isn’t she do anything to help it?
“I need to help it, but what if it attacks me?” she thought, though that seemed unlikely and since, by the looks of it, it couldn’t even move.
She moved forward a little and tried to look more through the window, though she ended up sliding a stone out of its frame, causing it to strike the cobblestone floor. Spez silenced himself immediately and looked around, slightly afraid.
“Hey Sycro, is that you man?” Spez looked around but he couldn’t see anything without his glasses. He squinted his eyes, trying to see if it helped, but all he sees is a blue blob.
He starts to move his arms across the floor, trying to feel for his glasses. He kept looking for them until he heard a snap and the sound of glass cracking.
“Ah oh,” Spez moved his knee out of the way, as he realized that he broke his glasses. He felt around for them before he found them where his knee and been and he picked them up.
“Great! First I broke my leg, then I broke my glasses. What’s next? Aliens probing my ass?” Spez looked down at the blurred ground, slightly disheartened.
She couldn’t help and feel sorry for the creature. Though, what she couldn’t shake off was that it spoke Equestrian. She moves closer to him and the similar chime of magic could be heard, along with an aura enclosing her horn. She made an aura around Spez, though it wasn’t touching him. But as soon as Spez heard the chime and saw everything around him turn blue, he started to freak out.
“WHAT IS THIS!?” Spez looked around him and tried to move himself.
“OH NO! YOU ALIENS ARE NOT GONNA PROBE ME!” He tried to crawl, though his attempt was cut short as he felt the sharp pain shoot through him again.
The little alicorn was able to hold the aura around him, though as she tried to close it so that he was in her grip, the aura dissipated into small magic sparkles like last time.
“Why art thou immune to our magic?!” She demanded, causing to bit of ground around her to shake.
Spez responded by turning to where he heard the voice. “What? Magic? What the hell are you talking about?!”
“What dost thou mean?! Does thou not know about magic?!” she explained.
“Nope, magic is not real. Unless you took a shit ton of drugs.” Spez thought, and then he squinted his eyes to try and see this person. He sees a sapphire blue looking horse in front of him. He tried to keep looking but his eyes started to hurt from the squinting.
“Excuse me who ever you are, is that your horse? Are you behind the horse? Sorry I can’t see worth crap.” Spez chuckled and winced a bit in pain.
“Horse? We be not from Saddle Arabia, alien.” She looked down at him slightly annoyed and with a scowl.
“You mean Saudi Arabia,” Spez corrected. “Saddle Arabia? What kind of stupid name is that?”
“Tis better than Saudi Arabi-”
“Get off of me you venom jerker!”
The third voice surprised both of them, and before they could turn in the direction that it came from, the double doors opened and slammed into the side of the walls. And in the entrance, Sycro was still wrestling with the snake. It had wrapped itself around his arm and he was holding it back with one hand while the other tried to pry it off his arm.
“Get...off...of...me!” He grabbed its tail and pull as hard as he could.
The snake circled around his arm as it was being pulled, and once it had completely come off of his arm it had slipped out of his grip and flew towards Spez.
The snake landed on Spez’s left leg. Spez’s only reaction was to scream like a little girl, and flare his arms around. The snake was startled and bit into Spez’s leg before it feel off and quickly slithered away. Spez couldn’t take the pain from the snake, as if the broken leg wasn’t enough for Spez. He looked at the snake as it slithered away and then to his friend and the mysterious women.
“Hehe, we’re off to never-never land...” Spez started to feel a bit light-headed, the next thing he knew he was looking up at the sky...has the sky always been black?
“...Welp, he’s knocked out,” Sycro said in a strangely calm tone as he stood up and dusted himself off. “Great, just more dead weight to carry around.”
“Tis your fault.” The little alicorn stated matter-of-factually.
Sycro looked over at her with an unamused expression. “Bite me.” He walked over to Spez and started to drag with to the closest wall around them.
“Does thou really require us to bite thee?” The little alicorn asked with a raised eyebrow and a slightly disgusted expression.
Sycro sat Spez up against one of the walls before he stood back up and looked over at Luna with an unamused expression. “Are you seriously that stupid?”
“Watch thy tongue!” She demanded, pointing a hoof at Sycro.
“And who’s gonna make me? You?” He asked, as he scoffed and knelt back down next to Spez to check on the snake bite.
The little alicorn looked down at the ground, she was obviously getting frustrated, but now wasn’t the time to try and gain respect. Sycro had inspected the wound, and while it had two puncture wounds, there was no sign of venom.
Luna looked back up, having chosen to forget the comments that were made and just figure out what they were and why they were here. She approached them, though she kept her distance not wanting to cause any more problems.
“...Umm.” Luna looked down at Sycro quizzically and raised a brow.
“Is there something you need?” Sycro asked as he whipped his head around and stared at Luna with a stern expression and there was a bit of hostility in his tone.
“Well...” Luna looked back at him with the same stern look. “Shouldn’t thou be afraid or running from us?”
His expression melted into one of confusion. “And why would I be scared of someone who’s three times smaller than me?”
“Your friend seems to fear us,” She stated, holding her chin upward.
“I’m sorry, who are you again?” Sycro stared at her with an utterly puzzled expression as he started to stand up straight.
Luna looked down at him, shocked. “Does thou not recognize the Princess of The Night?!”
“Princess of The Night?” Sycro walked over to her and bent down and stared into her eyes. “And just who would assign a pony as ‘Princess of The Night’?” He made air quotes with his fingers to emphasize how ridiculous it sounded.
“We should be asking thou what thou were doing out here,” She retorted staring back into his eyes.
“Counting the stars in Orion’s penis, what do you think we’re doing out here?! We’re lost!” His sudden outburst made Luna flinch and take a step back with wide eyes, staring at Sycro.
The alicorn’s expression hardened and she approached and stared at Sycro with rage in her eyes “Thou shalt not speak to us like that!”
Spez stirred in his sleep as the two started argue with each other, going back and forth, with thoughtless insults.
“But mommy I don’t want to go to school....I want to stay here and make cookies with you,” Spez said to himself.
Both Sycro and the little alicorn stopped and they both turned to look at Spez, who was still up against the wall.
“Did...he just…?” Sycro turned around and looked at Spez before he approached him slowly and when he finally stood before him he just stared down at him...
“Wake up!” Sycro raised his foot and ran it into Spez’s gut with as much force as he could muster.
Spez’s eyes shot open when he felt Sycro’s foot impaled him in his stomach and possibly bursting it, along with his pancreas.
“F-!,” Spez couldn’t finished his sentence, he was too busy getting the wind knocked out of him and trying to breathe as much as he could. “W...what the hell was that for?!”
“For passing out like a weak hearted sissy!” Sycro retorted, with an annoyed expression on his face.
The little alicorn stood behind them, dumbfounded at how they treat each other and yet they still stay together. She shakes her head as she returns to the problem at hand and starts to approach them.
“Excuse us.” Sycro and Spez both turn to look at her as she stops beside Sycro’s leg. “But does thou have any way that thou would like to be greeted or identified?”
“Gary Fucking Oak,” Spez told her in a sarcastic kind of way.
Spez didn’t like this little alicorn. All of this is so confusing that he can’t tell what is or isn’t real anymore. “I swear, my mind is totally fucked. Seriously are we on fucking drugs? Did I hit my head too hard when we landed? Did that snake bit created a new high?”
Meanwhile in Sycro’s mind...”What...the...fuck?”
Sycro sighed and turned back to the little alicorn. “I’m Sycro, and that numnut over there, is Spez.” He points his thumb back towards Spez who was still on the ground, gripping his stomach.
“Oh shut up and help me up.” Spez held out his hand for Sycro to pick him up. Instead of actually helping him up, a dark blue aura surround Spez, but it soon dissipated into tiny sparkles.
“Don’t bother trying to use your weird mojo on us. It’s obvious that it doesn’t work.” Sycro stuck his hands and his pockets and stared down at the alicorn. “Now, we told you who we are, now you have to tell us who you are.”
“Did she try to give me magical cancer or something? If she did then I’m having a shitty day,” Spez rubbed his hand hoping that he wouldn’t get anything bad or harmful from the magic. “Hey at least I didn’t get diabetes or something like that.”
“Diabetes?” Sycro turned a bit to look at Spez with a dumbfounded look. “Are you sure you didn’t lose some of your brain when you landed?”
“No...I hope so...can we find a doctor or something? I don’t think this little talking horse is going to help us.” Spez rubbed his temple from the slight headache he received.
“ENOUGH!” The little alicorn yelled as if there was a group of jumbo jets having an orgy. It was obvious the she was a little annoyed by the two constantly bickering, plus she was being ignored.
“HOLY BISCUITS!” Spez covered his ears and hoped that they wouldn’t be bleeding afterwards. Man, it has to sucks to be the guy in bed with her.
Sycro also covered his ears, thinking of how he could get payback if he became deaf. Son of a bitch, I bet the guy having sex with her is deaf.
“Geez, could ya tone it down a bit?” Sycro asked, taking his hands off of his ears as they continue to ring.
“Yea, i’m pretty sure you made my ears bleed.” Spez was dabbing his fingers in his ears to make sure that his ears weren’t a bloody mess. “Okay good they haven’t bleed yet.”
The little alicorn’s right eye twitched and started to grit her teeth. But in a couple of seconds she calmed down to tell the two humans her name, “Our name is Princess Luna, Co-ruler of Equestria. Now w-...”
“What the hell is ‘Equestria,’ and you’re a princess? Crap man, we ain’t in free ‘Merica anymore,” Spez looked at Sycro in a worried mood.
“...Eh,” Sycro just gave a half-assed shrug.
“...That means we can’t do what we want to do. Like they will tell us what to do for their country.” Spez almost fainted at the thought of losing his freedom.
Sycro knocked Spez right side of his head, “Dude we can be explorers of a new world, except it’s been conquered....by this...talking alicorn...what did you say your name was? Luna? Or something like that.”
Luna gave an affirming nod and looked back up at the both of them. “And thou said thou’s names were...Sycro...” She looked over at Sycro and then looked over at Spez. “and Spez, correct?”
“Yep.” Spez gave her a thumbs up but she looked at him in confusion.
“What art thou doing?” Luna tilted her head at Spez and he tilted his.
“This is called a thumbs up....it means good,” Spez and Luna still looked at each other with their heads tilt.
“Actually in the Middle East, it means ‘up yours’.” Sycro began to rub the back of his neck feeling a bit bored and tired.
Then Spez and Luna both tilted their heads towards Sycro. “What?”
“Yeah, even though i’m lazy back home, I still know a lot and I remember once finding out that a thumbs up in America, means ‘up yours’ in the Middle East. So you Luna.” He gave Luna a thumbs up and his expression showed some annoyance. “Up yours.”
Luna still looked at him in confusion, “What is this, ‘up yours?’”
Spez shaked his head and looked at Sycro, “Dude....I bet you got that information from the Internet. The Internet is a place for insults, porn, and bullshit.”
“Not really, I use to know someone who was from Asia, and whenever I gave him a thumbs up he would curse me out then give me a pointless lecture on why it’s offensive there...I even did it in front of his parents once, they never stopped giving me the dirty look since then.”
“Dude....he’s lying to you. You know what, drop it before we waste our time. We need to talk to the ‘princess’.” Spez quoted the last word as he looked at Luna. Gonna need some brain bleach to get rid of this memory.
“Whatever, I can’t change what you think.” Sycro sighed and looked at Luna. “Now...where exactly are we?”
“Thou art in the Everfree Forest.” Luna waved her hoof over all of the wilderness that surrounded the ruined castle to add emphasis.
“Reminds me of the South, except the ruined castle,” Spez chuckled a little and winced in pain again.
“Art thou okay?” Luna trotted over to Spez and looked at his leg.
“No....I broke my leg when we landed,” Spez sat back down to try and ease the pain. Luna tried to use her magic on her again, but this immediately frightened Spez and he started to flail like a baby bird trying to fly.
“HEY HEY HEY! What are you doing?!”
Luna ignore him, but, like before, her magic had no effect on his leg and just dissipated into cobalt blue sparkles and disappeared.
“I’m pretty sure we’ve established that you're freaky mojo doesn’t work on us.” Sycro said in an obvious tone.
Luna ignored Sycro again and tried once more, but her magic still had no effect on Spez’s leg.
“We are one of the most powerful beings in Equestria, why are thou not healing?!” Luna tried again but gave up once the same result as before happened again. Meanwhile Spez and Sycro looked at her as if she was someone who had been locked in a cell at a mental hospital.
“Because we’re awesome!” Spez flashed her a large toothy smile, while Sycro threw his head back and facepalmed, groan while he did.
Sycro looked at Luna curious as to how she would be able to “heal” Spez’s leg. “How can your voodoo, or whatever the heck it is, possibly heal his leg?”
Luna looked at him with a dumbfounded expression on her face. “thou does not know about magic?”
Spez and Sycro both stared at her with their expression full of surprise and utter shock. They took a moment and looked at each other, and took a moment to make sure that they were thinking the same thing...they started to laughing.
“Hahaha, yeah right!” Spez continued to laugh then stopped once the pain from his leg made itself present again. “Gah!...Ow...”
Luna stared at the both of them confused. “Did we say something humorous?”
“Well you said magic, and everyone knows there’s no such thing as magic,” Spez responded, with his words seeming to be forced as he continued to grip his leg.
“There is magic, how could thou believe otherwise?!” Luna couldn’t believe that these creatures don’t believe in the wonders of magic.
“I don’t believe it until I see it, so if it does exist then prove it,” Sycro told her as he crossed his arms.
“Fine!” Luna backed up from the two humans and looked at a near by large rock, easily larger than her.
Her horn started to glow dark blue and the boulder had gained a similar aura around it. The boulder was then started to slowly lift off the ground and it seemed practically effortless. Seeing this, Spez and Sycro’s jaws both dropped, both of them had become stupefied, not being able to think as they witnessed this feit. Luna moved the boulder over the bit and she watched as the their eyes followed, but without warning she dropped it and it ended up landing next to Sycro.
“We’ve proven it.’” Luna smiled victoriously at Sycro and Spez, still dazed by her performance. Luna giggled at their expressions then gave a loud yawned.
“If thou excuse us we need rest, we will get thy sister here to help with your troubles.” Luna trotted over to Spez and Sycro’s parachutes, but then looked over at them confused.
“What is art these?” Luna pointed her hoof at the chutes and giggled again when both Spez and Sycro shook their heads to try and regain their composure.
“Huh?” Sycro looked over at Luna and looked at the chutes. “Oh, they’re parachutes, they help slow us down when we’re falling through the air.”
Luna crawled under one of the chutes, almost like a cat, then poked her head out from under it. “Tis so warm and cozy.”
She crawled back under it, but this time poked her head out from the opposite side and then snuggled into it, like a young naive girl snuggling into her bed.
“Isn’t that uncomfortable for you?” Spez asked.
The his question fell on deaf ears as there was already some light snoring coming from Luna and the rising and falling of her chest was visible through the chute. Sycro gave a defeated sigh and sat down against the wall, the stared up at the cloud covered sky.
“Looks like we’ll just have to wait it out.” Sycro put his arms behind his head and sunk lower until he was lying flat on the floor.
“Shouldn’t we just wake her up?” Spez started to walk over to her, a bit quietly even though he wants to wake her.
“Go ahead, though I won’t help you when she gets cranky and drops a boulder on your other leg.” Sycro brought his right arm forward and laid it across his eyes. “I’m just gonna take a nap.”
“But we woke up about ten minutes ago,” Spez stated, though he had backed away from Luna after thinking about what she would do to him if he woke her and she was cranky.
“So? There’s nothing else to do, you can sit here and play with rocks, but i’m going to relax.” Sycro craned his head to the side, a small ‘pop’ is heard and he returns it to where it originally was.
“Fine, whatever.....dammit,” Spez got bored and grabbed a few pebbles. He started to play war with the pebbles.
“Men we are here to conquer mt. Broken Leg from our enemi-”
“Could you keep it down a bit?” Sycro asked, without looking over at Spez.
“Fine.” Spez dropped the pebbles and started to crawl his way to the entrance of the ruined castle. CRIPPLE SPEZ IS OFF TO FIND SOME AWESOME SHIT IN THE RUINED CASTLE!