//------------------------------// // Daisy Sandwiches // Story: The Neighanderthal // by Mr. Grimm //------------------------------// “And then Twilight teleported back to the library,” said Rarity, “Though I do wish she would have given us better notice.” As she finished explaining their story to Spike, the unicorn looked over at Twilight. She had been listening just as intently as the dragon, silently analyzing every detail in an attempt to piece together the puzzle of Tarpan’s sudden appearance. The lavender mare looked over at the mysterious stallion, who had been laid on the couch. “Well,” she finally said, “After going through the day’s events, I think I’m beginning to understand what happened.” “So what’s yer analysis?” said Applejack, who had been keeping a wary eye on the sleeping creature. “I think I know,” replied the purple unicorn as she stood up, “But I need to make sure of one thing first.” Twilight trotted over to one of the library’s many bookshelves and pulled out a particularly thick book, the spine of which bore the title ‘A Look At Equestria’s Prehistory’. Her friends crowded around her as she flipped through the pages before stopping at an illustration of a shaggy, powerfully muscled pony standing in a snowdrift. They all looked back at Tarpan as they realized how similar he and the pony looked. “Everypony,” began Twilight, “This is a Neighanderthal. Scientifically, Equus Neighanderthalensis. Judging from his physique, I’d say it is likely that Tarpan is a member of this species.” They all silently agreed with a nod. There was no mistaking the strong resemblance Tarpan bore to the illustration. “Okay, so we know what he is,” Rainbow Dash said impatiently, “But where did he come from?” “I was getting to that,” continued the purple unicorn, “You see, Neighanderthals lived scattered across Equestria during the Paleolithic era, until they went extinct about twenty-five thousand years ago.” “Ex-stinked?” echoed Pinkie, “Well, he does smell kinda funny.” Twilight sighed and shook her head. “No, Pinkie, extinct means that they died out,” she explained, “There aren’t any more left today.” Fluttershy frowned, looking positively miserable. “How awful…” she murmured, “Those poor things.” “Well they obviously didn’t go extinct,” snorted Dash as she thrust a hoof back at Tarpan, “How else would he still be here?” “The ice block,” Twilight said, “That’s the only explanation. He must have been frozen in there for millennia. Until now, that is.” Rainbow Dash let out a skeptical huff. “That sounds ridiculous,” said the Pegasus, “How on earth could he survive that? He would have died of hypothermia or something.” “Maybe he was dead,” suggested Pinkie Pie, “But the magic of our Hearth Warming’s party brought him back to life!” Twilight shrugged uncertainly. “I have no idea how it worked myself,” she said sheepishly, “But I don’t think it matters anymore. What matters is helping him.” As if on cue, a groan sounded off from behind them. Their heads swiveled to look at Tarpan, who was rising from the couch with a groggy look on his face. His nostrils twitched, and he suddenly turned to look at Spike. The dragon immediately attached himself to Twilight’s side, latching on with trembling claws as the Neighanderthal leapt from the couch and growled aggressively. “No!” Twilight shouted as she waved her forelegs over her head, “Tarpan! Stop!” The unicorn quickly grasped Spike in a hug, trying to make it as public as possible. “Spike is our friend!” Tarpan ceased his threatening stance and looked extremely confused. He pointed his hoof at Spike and rambled in his strange language, ending with a questioning sound. “Come on, Spike,” Twilight muttered as she pulled the dragon toward the perplexed pony. Spike writhed uncomfortably as he was presented before the Neighanderthal. The stallion squinted as he leaned forward and sniffed the reptile with powerful nostrils. “Twilight…” Spike breathed, clearly terrified of the relic. Tarpan drew back from the juvenile dragon and let out a grunt of bafflement. As Twilight had hoped, he no longer seemed threatened by Spike’s presence. “Okay, he’s not killing Spike now,” said Dash as she raised an eyebrow at the Neighanderthal, “So now what?” Twilight looked at Tarpan thoughtfully. The stallion peered back at her and the others with understandable confusion. “Well,” said Twilight, “I guess we could get some lunch now. Spike, do you want to help me make some sandwiches?” “Sure,” said the dragon, eager to get away from the creature that was currently gazing at a globe in the middle of the room. “Wait,” called Rarity, “What are we supposed to do?” She and the others glanced at the Neighanderthal nervously. He seemed rather passive at the moment, but given the shock and bewilderment he was experiencing they weren’t too sure if he would remain that way. “Just keep an eye on him,” Twilight responded as she disappeared into the kitchen, “Let him look around, just don’t let him break anything.” Rarity and Applejack both turned to face Tarpan. He was gently turning the globe on its stand, feeling the ridges and bumps of the continents with his heavy hoof. “Should we try talking to him?” the unicorn muttered out of the side of her mouth. “Don’t see what good it’d do,” Applejack whispered back, “He can’t understand us, and we can’t understand him.” As they spoke, a nervous, trembling Fluttershy sidestepped her way towards the Neighanderthal. Though she found his brutish exterior to be very intimidating, she was also worried that he might think her impolite for not introducing herself. She froze in her advance as his ear turned towards her, followed by the rest of his head. “Um…” she murmured in a barely audible whisper, “Um…Hello.” Tarpan raised a bushy eyebrow and cocked his head to one side. Fluttershy hid behind her long mane, looking back at the stallion apprehensively. “I-I’m Fluttershy,” mumbled the Pegasus, pointing to herself the way Twilight had done earlier. The cream-colored mare contorted her body in surprise as Tarpan lurched forward, touching the end his bristly nose to her own. He inhaled as he drew back, and then said something in his indiscernible language. Fluttershy was somewhat shaken by the action, but was afraid of offending the Neighanderthal by making a fuss about it. “Hi there!” came the overly-enthusiastic voice of a certain pink mare, causing Fluttershy to jump. Both she and Tarpan looked to see Pinkie Pie trotting over. She stopped beside Fluttershy and gave him a keen smile. “I’m Pinkie Pie!” she announced, “But my friends just call me Pinkie! I bet we’ll be great friends once I show you around a bit! I bet you’ll love Sugarcube Corner! We’ve got all kinds of yummy treats that you’ve probably never tasted before! Did they have donuts back in the Paleo-whatzit era?” Tarpan drew back from her with a flustered frown, his eyes wide in confusion. Dash quickly noticed this and rushed in beside her rambling friend to prevent an unwanted incident from occurring. “Might want to keep it down a little bit,” she whispered, “We don’t want to freak him out.” “Oh. Okay,” said Pinkie. She turned back to Tarpan with the same massive grin. “Hey, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile in the whole hour and a half we’ve known him.” Much to Dash’s dismay, the pink mare thrust her smiling face into Tarpan’s. “How about it? Can you smile?” She pointed towards the gleaming crescent on her face. Tarpan let out a nervous snort, which in turn made everypony else in the room nervous. All except for the beaming Pinkie, who kept nudging a hoof toward her mouth. At last Tarpan seemed to halfway understand, and his lips slowly began to twitch and stretch. The resulting expression looked much more like a grimace, in which he exposed his gigantic, peg-like teeth. Though they were not at all rotten or crooked, they were covered in a thin layer of yellow plaque that made Rarity shudder. Pinkie’s own smile faded, becoming a mildly disappointed frown. “We’ll work on it,” said the party-obsessed pony. Before she could do something that might’ve triggered a disaster, Rarity and Applejack stepped in. Tarpan’s forced smile vanished as he returned to the blank, curious expression he normally wore. “Howdy,” said the farmer, “Name’s Applejack.” She instinctively extended a hoof out to the Neighanderthal, though moments later she realized the gesture would probably be lost on him. It was, as instead of shaking her hoof he stared at it with a furrowed brow. The earth pony gently set it back down, looking as sheepish as possible. She glanced over at Rarity, her green eyes silently asking for some kind of social assistance. The white unicorn obliged her and introduced herself to the relic. “Good afternoon, Mr. Tarpan,” she said eloquently, “I am Rarity.” As he had with every other pony, Tarpan looked curiously at her, particularly at her horn. Rarity noticed this and smiled uncomfortably. “Well, um…yes, that’s my horn. I am a unicorn. I understand that you might not be familiar with unicorns, seeing as you’ve probably never seen one before.” “He might actually have,” rang Twilight as she and Spike returned with a tray of daisy sandwiches, “It depends on how old he is. Archeological evidence suggest that Neighanderthals probably had contact with Equus Sapiens at some point.” Spike rolled his eyes as she spoke. “You’re just full of those, aren’t you?” he mumbled. Twilight must not have heard him, because she began passing out sandwiches via magic. Tarpan’s eyes widened as he saw the sandwiches float across the room toward the dinner guests, and he spouted off a series of words in a manner that made Twilight think he was swearing. He ended with a peculiar word that sounded like ‘Indrik’, which he put a special emphasis on. Everypony stared at him, backing away as if he might explode. Twilight gently levitated the sandwich toward Tarpan. He stared at it, seemingly afraid. A bead of sweat rolled down Twilight’s forehead as she waited for him to react. Slowly, the Neighanderthal reached out with his foreleg and gently grasped the sandwich. Twilight let out a loud sigh as she released her magical hold on it. Tarpan hesitantly nibbled on the bread. He let out a noisy grunt of disgust, after which he spat it out. The relic grumbled to himself as he tore the two slices of bread away and shoved the daisies in his cavernous mouth. Everypony frowned simultaneously as they looked back at Twilight. The unicorn frowned back. It was suddenly dawning on her that Tarpan would have to be taught how to act in an entirely new culture. He would need to learn everything, the language, the customs, and on top of that, find a place to live and work. And somepony would have to teach him.