• Member Since 23rd Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Sep 24th, 2016

The Bourgeoisie Bear


T

Set after Twilight's ascension, the previously considered senseless tribes of humans are holding their own against a powerful Griffin invasion set against their civilized homeland.

The humans, as they are, are little more than savage beast with honed killing instincts. The brutality of these abominations is second to none. They fight amongst each other and sell the defeated males into slavery for things that they couldn't produce on their own.

However, they now seem more organized and united now than ever. Which has Celestia worried about a possible growing threat.

Twilight is sent on a mission to learn as much she can about the humans and their tribal ways, and as she continues her journey she begins to unravel the mysteries of a species that perhaps, should have stayed dead.
++++++++++
Twilight is set as the main character in this adventure and is told through her point of view... more or less.

Not 100% percent sure where I'm going with this story, but that's part of the fun, and I know I'll get there eventually.

The pic was made by a, BLAZ PORENTA, to my knowledge, at blazporenta.blogspot.com

Also, this is my first real story here, so please give me criticism and your opinions on the story.

-------------------
Considering rewrite
+++++++++++
And also I want to say thanks to mikemeiers my editor

Chapters (19)
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Comments ( 684 )
Comment posted by Nharctic deleted Jan 24th, 2014

“Dear sister?”

Try, "Sister dear?"

Comment posted by The Bourgeoisie Bear deleted Jan 24th, 2014

3453793 Don't ask questions, here is your butterfly: Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Also, I finally summoned the courage to publish it. :pinkiehappy:
Would appreciate it if you could give it another look.

+++++++++++
Sigh, a thumbs down.

I like it so far.

This looks promising, have a like and fav.

3839643
Here you go Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

3839798
And here you go Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
++++++++++++
Thank you both for a comment.
Also, expect chapter 2 very soon.

like Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ and fave <3

Interesting so far, can't wait for more.

Moral of the cover intro-
Don't piss off the Human race, no matter how primitive we may seem. :pinkiecrazy:

Do humans have any form of magic?

3840280
This is for you: Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

They don't use magic like unicorns, that's all you're going to get from me. :raritywink:


3840276
i1330.photobucket.com/albums/w562/WolfWaffle1/Pics/1373080178074_zps63098e98.jpg
:pinkiesmile:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ


3840036
For you and thank you.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
3839900
As promised.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

More is on the way either tomorrow or sunday.

Me. Gusta. Me. Motherbucking. Gusta. :moustache:

3839452
It's a pretty good story, all in all.

My biggest piece of criticism? You misspelled butterfly in the description. :rainbowlaugh:

this looks....interesting ima gonna watch this

This great so far. Can't wait till they get to the human lands. A like and a fave for you :pinkiehappy:

Edit: Oh! Just had a thought! You should give some of the humans horns and gnarly sharp teeth like your cover image!

Is this another "humans are bastards" fics? :trixieshiftleft:

Interesting will the evolve back to the feudal age?

3840620
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
:twilightblush:


3842324
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Hope you enjoy


3842423

You'll see what that's about. :rainbowwild:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

3842536

No, the humans in my story will not be some misanthropic statement, they will be real characters with a personality.


3842964

Maybe. :pinkiecrazy:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

3842301
Let us never speak of this again.
:duck:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

3842301

Mine is the griphon warlord: he is so tsunderebipolar and unstable than I cannot imagine how can he be in charge.

3843254

Bipolar people seem to have an easy enough time climbing into places of political power, at least from my perspective.

i1330.photobucket.com/albums/w562/WolfWaffle1/Pics/images_zps946f3d67.jpg

And also remember Celestia helped put him in power, I'll better explain that later in the story though.

++++++++

And Chapter 2 will be up later today everyone.

This looks like it will be amazing :P

And human weapons that kill at a long range? Very interesting!

Are the humans casting spells like an army of Gandalf clones?
Are minotaurs simply unfamiliar with the Bow and Arrow?
Or this going to be one of those fics where humans have come from the future, and these long ranged weapons are in fact Sniper rifles and other such weaponry? It would explain the losses...

Regardless, I sit here in eager anticipation for what may follow, update at a frequent rate, please :P

i think i missed something. Octavo is supposed to be a human, but why is he being described as a pony? or did i really miss something?

3844265
I think he is supposed to be a pony.

Cool a New Chapter came out after 5 seconds I finished reading

Nice world building.
I like that.
But I like humans even more.

3844250
Your gift for commenting. Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
And thank you for the positive feedback!
I'm not used to it.
And regarding your inquiries... You will see... but they don't really use magic.

3844598
3844265

I didn't really foresee people thinking that... but yeah he's a stallion, pony, unicorn.
One each Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

3844603
WAS THAT A FAST ENOUGH UPDATE FOR YOU PEOPLE!!11!
:pinkiecrazy:Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

3844656
:pinkiehappy:Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Ty I tried, also humans in chapter 3 I promise.

3840370 so they do but it's different?

3844671

They know it exist. That's all I'm saying. :duck:

3844675 is it Runestones? Merlin style sorcery? Dresden Files magic? Harry Potter wizardry?

That was legitimately awesome. :rainbowkiss:

you love comments...:rainbowhuh:
I LOVE TO COMMENT :trollestia:

Twilight just called insane.:pinkiecrazy:

i have not read a word yet but by the description alone i am certain that yes, this is the kind of shit that i very much do like

3844723
Maybe its witchcraft, paganism, or shamanism. Maybe even voodoo.
Could be they found old tech that the don't understand.

Interesting, interesting. I like this fic so far. I'll be interested what is revealed by further chapters about human civilization, such as it is. As for what's going on, I'm betting either early rifles, or repeating crossbows are being used against the griffons. Honestly, I'm hoping for an almost Genghis Khan style leader having unified humanity's tribes. Because if you want a unified band of unstoppable conquerors: You want the Mongols.

I like it.

Human enslavement is getting more common in HiE fics. I guess it makes sense, cuz the biggest society, (not most advanced, but influential) Equestria, is a quasi-fuedal society. It took all the way to the modern age for slavery to be completely abolished and disliked in the influencial countries of our world.

I guess crazy religious people exist in Equestria, too, but because Discord is kina a god in the in-verse, I guess it is justified.

Nom nom nom, story.

I like this story. I LIKE IT A LOT. :heart:
However...:facehoof:
This is only a friendly suggestion and not a criticism of your work. You right pretty well. But the grammar needs work in more than one places. I wouldn't say anything if I didn't keep noticing it. All I can say is: work on using commas, quotation marks, and apostrophes a bit. Other than that, keep on doin' whatcha do! :pinkiehappy:

3845841 Write* in more than one place*

OOOOOooOOHHHHHHHHHhhhHhHHHHhh-
*gets slapped by logical side of brain*

hehe... sorry.:twilightsheepish:

3845876 I think I need to kill myself now. I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING! :raritycry:

Irony sucks. :facehoof:

Now, from the description things look bad, i'm not a fan of misanthropy and not much fim reader are, but so far things are turning out decent.

3846081
"...i'm not a fan of misanthropy..."
Neither am I friend, that and defeatism.
Also Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :duck:

3845726
Word, and well said.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

i1330.photobucket.com/albums/w562/WolfWaffle1/Pics/Animals/1388710832178_zps88dbd492.jpg

3845585
Ah, a fan of the steppe warrior? Not a bad choice.
i1330.photobucket.com/albums/w562/WolfWaffle1/Pics/1388495214481_zps70f079a9.jpg

Personally, I prefer the cultured knights, but to each their own.

i1330.photobucket.com/albums/w562/WolfWaffle1/Pics/1373565709409_zps0240a252.png

And also Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

This chapter felt unessesary, it added a crazy amount of headcannon and showed octavio as a lunatic, but other than that, nothing.

BTW, I see you have Broncovy = Muscovy, took me a while to figure that out and get his accent right.

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