Sugarcube Corners was looking positively ready for Hearth’s Warming Eve. Strings of blinking lights flashed from every possible edge, each one seemingly a different color. Peppermint stripes of red and white were wrapped around the railings, with holly leaves and berries hung from evenly spaced intervals. Wind chimes made of sleigh bells were strung about the whole building, the flashing of the lights reflecting off of their silver and gold surfaces. There was even a sleigh upholstered in red and green felt sitting out in the yard.
Unfortunately, such lavish décor had a limited effect, as it was currently 11:00 AM, July 14th, and the temperature was roughly ninety-six degrees Fahrenheit. Thus, rather than the merriment associated with the winter season, Twilight looked back at her friends with a mildly concerned frown on her face.
“Do you think she’s lost it this time?” she asked quietly, knowing that Pinkie Pie could very well be standing right behind her.
“If her hair is straight, run,” Rainbow Dash whispered.
“Well, I for one am impressed with her display,” said Rarity, her eyes running up and down every nook and cranny of the bakery, “This has to be one of the finest arrangements I’ve ever seen. Just look at that mistletoe!” Dash leaned back, giving the whole set up a cynical glance.
“Yeah, I’m lookin’ at it,” she mumbled, “And I’m pretty convinced she’s flipped her lid.”
“Well, this is Pinkie we’re talkin’ ’bout,” said Applejack, “This can’t be the craziest thing she’s ever done.”
“I, um, I think it looks nice…” Fluttershy said to nopony in particular. The moments following this comment were spent waiting for Pinkie to appear, as she tended to spring up out of nowhere when things became quiet. She didn’t fail to disappoint. A pink pony dressed as Canter Claus suddenly stepped out from behind Rainbow Dash.
“Ho, ho, ho!” Pinkie chortled from behind a fake beard, “Merry Hearth Warming’s Eve!” She vigorously rung a bell she clutched in her hoof in the ears of all her friends. When she stopped, Twilight raised a concerned eyebrow. The thick red jacket and cap Pinkie wore had to have been unbearable in the summer heat, yet the pink mare didn’t seem to notice.
“Uh, Sugarcube,” murmured Applejack as she put a foreleg around Pinkie’s shoulder, “You feelin’ alright today?” Pinkie merely grinned at the farmer, her smile not at all deterred by the snow-white facial hair.
“I’m feeling fantastic!” she shouted, “I had the greatest, most stupendous idea ever! Everypony loves Hearth’s Warming, but not all of them like the cold weather! So I figured, what if we had a second Hearth’s Warming in the middle of July, just for the warm-weather ponies?!” Though this idea was outlandish and rather ridiculous, her friends were not at all surprised, as most of Pinkie’s ideas tended to be this way.
“Come on in,” continued the baker, “I’ve got everything set up! Well, almost everything…Hold on.” Her friends watched as she pulled what looked like a walkie-talkie out of her belt. “Bring on the Snow!” she called into the speaker.
“Roger!” came a familiar voice from the other end. Everypony jumped as an enormous block of ice crashed on to the lawn behind Pinkie. The pink pony whirled around and gave the small glacier a hard glare before looking up at the sky, where a walleyed Pegasus fluttered in place.
“Ditzy!” called the Canter Claus impersonator, “This isn’t snow! It’s ice!” Ditzy Doo frowned sheepishly.
“Sorry!” she shouted, “I couldn’t get the snow back without it melting!” Twilight sighed and turned to Rainbow Dash.
“Why didn’t she just get a snow cloud?” she muttered. The cyan Pegasus gave the unicorn a cynical look in response.
“Because we only get snow clouds in winter,” she said, “They have to be flown in from Snow Fall’s factory up North. Ditzy probably got it from a mountaintop or something.” Twilight shrugged and turned back to Pinkie, who was already over the problem and was intent on leading them into Sugarcube Corners.
“Oh well. It’s just for outside anyway. Come on, let’s get this party started!” She bounded up to the wreathed door, her five friends in tow. When Pinkie flung open the door, they were immediately hit with an unendurable blast of hot air. It was quite evident what the source of the heat was, as Pinkie had built a massive fire in the fireplace. In winter it would have been tolerable, even cozy. But in the heat of summer it seemed as though Pinkie was trying to get the group into a furnace.
“Just wait, I’ll get the milk and cookies!” Pinkie said excitedly as she rushed in, “Make yourselves at home!” Unable to refuse the invitation, Twilight and the others journeyed into the roasting room, which like the outside of the building had been trimmed with Hearth Warming decorations.
“This is insanity…” moaned Applejack as she flopped down in a chair, “Somepony’s gotta say somethin’ to her.”
“You can be the one to do it, ’cause I’m sure not,” grumbled Dash.
“Well I still think it’s lovely,” Rarity said, trying her best to sound like she wasn’t dying of heatstroke. As the fashion diva said this, Twilight saw Fluttershy closing the door. The unicorn’s eyes widened in dread as she rushed over to the entrance.
“Don’t!” she cried, stopping it with her magic. Fluttershy looked back at her with her usual nervousness.
“But…” began the cream-colored Pegasus.
“Just leave it open,” sighed Twilight as she returned to her seat, “We’ll die in here if you don’t.” Fluttershy gave an anxious frowned as she joined her friends by the table. Moments later, Pinkie returned to the room, carrying a large platter of cookies in one hoof, and several glasses of milk in the other.
“Now we’re all set for the story!” she cried as she slid each pony a glass. Twilight immediately levitated the drink to her lips, hoping for some relief from the scorching heat. Instead she found that the milk had been preheated. It was not terribly hot, but the warmness seemed extremely disappointing. Hoping to cheer herself up, she took a bite from a cookie--and promptly screamed as she burned her tongue.
“Careful, Twilight,” Pinkie said cheerily as she took a seat in a nearby rocking chair, “They’re oven fresh!” Twilight took another sip of the warm milk to try and soothe her burnt mouth, glaring at the others as they giggled at her.
“Okay everypony,” Pinkie said as she opened up a massive, dusty tome, “You’re all gonna love this story! My great-grannie Pie read it to me every Hearth’s Warming Eve before we went to bed!”
“Oh, how charming,” said Rarity, “What’s it called?”
“The Foals Who Didn’t Believe In The Krampus and Regretted It.” The five ponies that made up the audience stared silently as the costumed mare held the book so that they could see the illustrations, which were old and appeared to be woodcuts. The first picture showed two foals, one a colt, the other a filly, outside a small house during the winter.
“Once upon a time there where two foals who didn’t believe in the Krampus,” began Pinkie Pie, “They always misbehaved. They never did their chores, they lied to their parents, and all sort of nasty things.” Pinkie turned the page, which showed the foals up in a hayloft dumping a bucked of water on a colt below them.
“They always played mean tricks on other foals, and were so sneaky that they thought that they’d never get caught. And for the most part, they didn’t. That is, until Hearth Warming’s Eve.” Again, Pinkie turned the page. This showed the foals standing next to a tree festooned with crude ornaments fashioned from wood.
“That night the foals couldn’t sleep, because they wanted their presents from Canter Claus so bad. They were so excited that they forgot to put out milk and cookies for him. But instead of the tinkling of sleigh bells, they heard the rattling of rusty chains.” Pinkie flipped the page. The audience, which had been watching up until this point with only mild interest, now gazed intently at the book.
The new picture showed something that resembled a hunched, demented Minotaur, but was part goat instead of part bull. It covered in shaggy fur, with several chains wrapped around its torso. Its jaws were open to reveal a frightful number of fangs, as well as a long, pointed tongue. But most frightening of all were the massive claws that adorned the ends of its hands, in which it clutched a bundle of birch branches.
“Before they knew it, the Krampus came down the chimney and found them. Both of them were really scared, because while Canter Claus brings presents to good foals, the Krampus comes to punish them.”
The next page showed the two foals being beaten with the birch rods the Krampus held, with terrified, agonized expressions adorning their tiny faces. They were somewhat similar to the faces of the audience as they heard the narrator continue.
“And boy did they get punished!” Pinkie said, turning the page, which showed the two foals weeping next to the tree. Thankfully, the hideous creature was gone.
“When he was done, The Krampus went to look for more foals to punish. The two foals were very sad and scared. Neither of them got anything for Hearth’s Warming, and they never did anything naughty again.” Pinkie closed the book, and gave the clearly traumatized audience a smile.
“Who’s up for some eggnog?”
“Y-…your grandmother read that to you every Hearth’s Warming?” breathed Rarity.
“Great-grandmother,” corrected Pinkie, “It was the highlight of the evening!”
“That’s…uh…That’s really nice, Pinkie,” said Dash, who was trying to keep a palled Fluttershy from falling out of her seat.
Before the situation could get any more awkward, Rarity let out a bloodcurdling scream.
“KRAMPUS!” she shrieked as she pointed a hoof at the window. Immediately, all members of the party turned to see a large, hairy beast dart away from the window, heading down Mane Street. Pinkie laughed as her mortified friends began to tremble.
“That can’t be the Krampus, silly,” she giggled, “He only comes around during Hearth’s Warming.” But as usual, she had missed the entire point. Something, be it the Krampus or not, had just been standing in the window looking at them.
“Come on!” cried Twilight, who in the moment had forgotten about the sweltering heat around her. Likewise the other ponies rose up to follow her as she dashed out of the bakery in pursuit of whatever had been outside the bakery. Their hooves squelched on the water soaked lawn as they raced past the feeble remains of what had been the massive ice block Pinkie substituted for snow.
“I see it!” shouted Rainbow Dash as she pointed to a powerful shape that lumbered past Bonbon’s sweetshop. She and her friends soon caught up with it, as it paused right in front of the store. Twilight’s eyes widened as she neared the figure.
It was a pony, but unlike any other she’d ever seen. He was short and stocky, but had huge muscles bulging beneath his skin. His fur was shaggy and unkempt, and was a peculiar dark grayish-brown. Everything about his head seemed bigger than her own; the ears, nostrils, and jaws. A wild, bristly mane ran down from his forehead to his withers. The creature was soaking wet, which seemed strange as they were nowhere near a body of water. His stone-gray eyes squinted and widened as he looked into the shop through the large glass window. Twilight heard several ponies inside scream as they spotted the beast.
“Hold up there!” Applejack barked as gave a hard glare to the unkempt pony, “What in Tarnation are you doin’ peekin’ in everypony’s windows?!” The strange pony turned his large head and snorted at her, and made a series of annoyed sounds in a voice that was deep and guttural. Though it sounded like gibberish, Twilight was quick to pick up on a pattern--almost as if he were speaking some kind of language. But before she could notice anything else, the creature turned and galloped off down the street.
