//------------------------------//
// Episode 7: A Dog and Pony Show 
// Story: The Equestrian Wind Mage Classic: Season 1 
// by LordSiravant 
//------------------------------//

Episode Seven: A Dog and Pony Show

Rarity was busy at work in her shop, attaching various jewels to a dress she had just sewn. As she set a choice cut sapphire into the fabric, she exclaimed, "Ah, perfect!"

She didn't have long to bask in her self-praise before she heard the door open, triggering the bell that informed her of visitors. "Coming!" Rarity said, hiding the unfinished dress behind a curtain before turning to greet her visitors. "Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chique, unique, and magnifique!"

It was then that she noticed her visitor, and gasped in shock. A yellow-coated mare with a styled blue mane and tail, with heavy makeup and a truly gaudy white dress, stood before her. "S-S-Sapphire Shores!" Rarity exclaimed in disbelief. "The pony of pop!"

"Good afternoon, Miss Rarity!" Sapphire greeted, stepping by the slack-jawed fashionista.

Rarity shook profusely. "Y-You know my name," she breathed.

"Well, of course I do, darling!" Sapphire responded, investigating a row of completed dresses on hangers. "I make it a point to know the names of all the up and coming fashion designers, and Clothes Horse Magazine simply raved about you!"

As Sapphire continued investigating Rarity's dresses, Rarity nearly swooned. "Oh my stars!" she whispered to herself, trying to prevent herself from fainting. "If I'm dreaming, do not wake me up! How may I help you, Miss Shores?"

"Oh please! Call me Sapphire!"

Rarity giggled sheepishly. "H-how may I help you…Sapphire?"

"Well, as you know, I'm goin' to be touring all of Equestria for my latest concert, Sapphire Shores's Zig Filly Fally, so I need to look…" Sapphire sang the last word. "Seeensationaaaaal!"

Rarity turned around. "I have just what you need! Sapphire Shores, prepare yourself for the piece de resistance!"

Rarity flung aside the curtain, revealing the dress she had been working on. It was actually more of a bodysuit, white and studded with diamonds, rubies, and sapphires. Sapphire's eyes sparkled just as much as the dress did. "I used every last diamond I found for this one garment!" Rarity explained.

Sapphire inhaled in awe. "And it is spectacular! I'll take it!"

Rarity grinned. "Really?"

"Oh, yes! And five more, each done up with a different jewel!"

Rarity's heart nearly stopped. "Beg pardon?"

"Costume changes," Sapphire explained.

Rarity's eye twitched once before she glanced at her box of jewels, which, as luck would have it, was now empty. At that moment the designer lost all self-control and collapsed in a heap. Sapphire chuckled as she headed out of the shop. "Yes, I do have that effect on ponies."

XXXXXX

"I'll admit, I wasn't expecting you to treat me to lunch," Vaati said to Twilight, stabbing his fork into a slice of cheesecake made fresh at Sugarcube Corner.

The two of them were currently enjoying a meal at the library after picking up some food from the various cafes and Sugarcube Corner. Nigellas the Wizzrobe discreetly hung near the back of the library out of earshot, engrossed in a book about unicorn magic, while Maulgrim the Darknut was somewhere in the town, familiarizing himself with the place.

It had been a week and a half since the Palace of Winds had settled over Ponyville, and some of Vaati's monsters had been given the privilege to explore Ponyville (with Mayor Mare's blessing, of course) on their free time. The Moblins and the undead monsters were still confined to the palace, but Maulgrim and Nigellas, having been the first monsters to get a taste of what true friendship was like, were allowed to roam the surface world as long as they didn't cause trouble.

"Well, I just figured you'd like to spend a little time away from the palace," Twilight answered. "I don't get to see you as often anymore since you're up there so often."

"Ah, well," Vaati replied, pausing to take a sip of tea, "I suppose I just enjoy having my old home back so much that I haven't thought much about leaving it for a while. You raise a fine point, though; I shouldn't hole myself up there twenty-four-seven. Not very many lessons I can learn about friendship that way, is there?" The sorcerer scoffed lightly at his comment.

Twilight giggled. Vaati took this moment to glance around the library. "Now that I think about it, where is Spike?" Vaati asked. "I haven't seen him at all today."

"Rarity wanted his help in finding some gems for her dresses," Twilight explained. "Apparently the pop singer Sapphire Shores commissioned a bunch of jewel-studded dresses from Rarity for her upcoming concert tour."

Vaati rolled his eyes. "Concert tours. This world is weird."

XXXXXX

Spike carted along a red wagon as he followed Rarity down a barren dirt path. "Omigosh, Sapphire Shores, the pony of pop!" Spike cried with enthusiasm. "She is awesome! I mean she's gorgeous and talented and…" Rarity looked up from where she was magically scanning for jewels and shot him a pointed look. "…And not even half the pony you are, eh heh. You're like, ten times more gorgeous than her, and talented, and…"

"Oh, Spike," Rarity interrupted, "a lady is never jealous."

"O-of course not! But were you totally flippin' out or what?!"

"Ladies do not 'flip out', Spike. However, I was quite in awe!"

Rarity began scanning the area with her horn, pacing to and fro. "I need to find more jewels than ever before for her costumes."

Rarity suddenly stopped as she sensed a small collection of gems buried in the dirt. "Aha!"

"What, did you find some?" Spike asked eagerly.

Rarity pointed at the spot. "Right there!"

Spike immediately began tunneling into the dirt and soon revealed the sparkling gems. His mouth immediately began to water. "Oooh," he spoke, licking his lips. "You look…so…delicious."

No sooner had the baby dragon scooped them all up and opened his mouth wide that Rarity warned, "Spike!"

Spike looked guiltily up at her. "I promised you a few gems for you to snack on," Rarity said. "But we need to collect more first, or I'll never be able to finish those dresses for Sapphire!"

Sighing, Spike walked over to the wagon and looked at his haul fondly. "I will miss you…my sweets."

"Come along, Spike! We have many jewels to find!" Rarity bade as she trotted past Spike.

"At your service, milady!" Spike responded, bowing grandly before pulling the wagon again.

XXXXXX

Several hours went by as Rarity pointed out small caches of gems and Spike promptly dug them all up and tossed them on the wagon, having difficulty resisting the urge to consume them all. Finally, when the wagon was laden with gleaming gems, they paused in their work, Spike staring lustfully at their hoard. Suddenly he felt a hoof tap his head repeatedly, bringing him back to earth.

"You've been such a great help, Spike," Rarity congratulated. "And for that, you get the finest reward!"

The unicorn levitated a large sapphire out of the pile of jewels towards Spike. "This is from me to you!"

Spike suddenly clamped his mouth shut at the implications as he seized it in his claws. Speechless, Spike looked up at Rarity, overcome by her beauty and generosity. "Is something wrong, Spike?" Rarity asked, seemingly oblivious.

Spike smiled dreamily. "No…it's perfect."

Suddenly Rarity's horn spontaneously lit up, sensing another hoard of gems nearby. A big one too, if her reaction was anything to go by. "Bring the cart, Spike! There are more over here!"

Spike stared at his gift. "For me…from Rarity."

XXXXXX

Unbeknownst to the both of them, their progress did not go unnoticed. Behind a bush, a trio of dark figures observed the pair. "Yes…yes, gems! Precious gems!" one of them hissed in a high-pitched, scratchy voice, watching Spike pull the wagon. "He is the gem hunter! With him, we could have all those gems and more! Let's get the…dragon!"

The creatures began to slink away, until they heard the unicorn call out Spike's name, quickly luring them back. "Wait! Who is that?!"

"You know, it's terrible to keep a lady waiting!" Rarity off-handedly reprimanded, her horn aglow.

"Coming!" Spike called, approaching with the wagon.

Rarity pointed her horn towards a spot on the ground, prompting Spike to dig furiously. "You know, I really think we're going to strike gold with this one!" Rarity said. "So to speak."

A moment later, Spike emerged from the hole, carrying a huge deposit of brightly-colored jewels in his arms. "Jackpot!"

"Oh…it's not the dragon we want, it's the pony!" the unnoticed creature hissed.

"The pony…" its companions growled as they retreated.

"Well Spike," Rarity said as Spike placed the gems on the wagon, "I think that's all we can do for today, and these will certainly help get me well on my way with Sapphire's outfit. Why don't we start heading-!"

Suddenly Rarity's horn began to glow again, this time fierce and bright. "Oh! What's this? Another jewel!"

Rarity began to follow the tracking spell urging her towards her target and looked up in confusion. "Oh, it's…it's in the trees!"

A small yellow gem was peeking out of the shrubbery, and she touched it with her horn.

Said jewel immediately revealed itself to be a necklace belonging to a large, dog-like creature with large teeth, squinted eyes, and an open vest with jewels crammed into its pockets that emerged from the bushes, grinning nastily at a shocked Rarity. Stepping back warily, Rarity tentatively greeted, "Why, uh…hello, gentle…uh, fellow. I'm, uh, Rarity, and this is my friend, Spike."

Spike nervously laughed and waved.

"A-and you are?" Rarity asked.

The creature leapt out of the bushes, its large arms raised threateningly. This creature reminded Rarity somewhat of the Darknuts roaming Vaati's palace, but unlike the tall, straight-backed warriors, this creature was bow-legged with a slightly hunched back. "A Diamond Dog!" it spoke, advancing menacingly on Rarity.

Rarity and Spike nervously backed up. "Oh, really?" Rarity asked nervously. "That explains your fine taste in jewelry. I-I know that diamonds are a girl's best friend, and n-now I know that they're a dog's best friend too! Ahem, so, uh, haha, you're hunting for gems as well?"

"Yes!" the Diamond Dog sneered. "We hunt!"

"Uh, we?" Rarity repeated, eyes wide.

The Dog indicated its necklace. "We hunt for gems, but you are a better hunter! So now we hunt…for you!"

Suddenly two more Diamond Dogs, one much larger and the other much smaller than the first one, popped out of the ground right behind Rarity, knocking Spike aside. Rarity saw the larger one reaching for her and avoided its grab, screaming in terror. Spike drove his tail into the smallest Dog's tail like a jackhammer, causing it to howl in pain and jump into the air. Spike then tried to push the larger creature aside. "Run, Rarity! RUN!"

The Diamond Dog promptly smashed Spike's face into the dirt with one finger. Recovering quickly, Spike grabbed a hold of its legs before it could pounce after Rarity. Surprised, the beast fell over, its huge hand catching the smaller Dog's tail, knocking it down as well. "Come on, Spike!" Rarity yelled. "Hurry!"

She did not notice the third Dog pop up behind her until it was too late. "Gotcha!" it growled.

Rarity screamed.

Spike, still holding onto the big Dog's legs, cried, "I got 'im!"

The Dog then bucked its legs, flinging Spike into a tree as his spikes caught on a large branch. "Haha, nope!" it guffawed.

"Not sorry, scaly one!" the smallest one cackled as they fled.

"N-no, wait!" Spike yelled.

"Put me down this instant, you ruffians!" Rarity yelled as she wiggled in the lead Dog's hold. "I said, put me down!"

Ignoring her, the trio of Diamond Dogs leapt into a hole, Rarity protesting all the way. "Rarity!" Spike yelled, rushing towards the hole.

Rarity managed to pull herself halfway out. "Spike! Oh, dirt! Agh!"

Three Dog hands then pulled her back under, Rarity shrieking in fear. "Saaaaave meeeeeeeee!"

Spike fell to his knees and screamed into the heavens. "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

XXXXXX

Back at the library…

"I demand to know what asinine drivel my eyes have been enslaved by!" Nigellas demanded, unable to look away from the book he was reading.

"I see you've taken a shine to the Daring Do series," Vaati observed with a light smirk.

"It's stupid! It serves no educational purposes! And I can't stop reading it!"

"Heh, I remember when I first picked it up," Vaati reminisced. "It has its charm, does it not?"

Twilight raised an eyebrow. Fiction must not be something Wizzrobes encounter very often, she thought to herself.

Suddenly a noise shook the library as a large shape burst through the door, knocking it off its hinges and knocking off a good chunk of the wall above the door. The sound startled Twilight so badly that she fell on her back in a heap rather reminiscent of Fluttershy. Nigellas dropped his Daring Do book and reflexively fazed out of view, while Vaati already had a spell ready to cast. Shortly, however, the intruder revealed itself to be a large, hulking Darknut. Being currently off-duty, the Darknut's heavy armor was absent, instead replaced by a simple olive-green tunic and rough tan leggings and boots. Clasped around his waist was a belt bearing a Knight's Crest, the pride of every Darknut warrior. The Darknut appeared to be cradling something in his arms.

As Twilight twitched on the ground, Vaati dispersed his spell. "Maulgrim! What is the meaning of this?!"

"Forgive me, milord," Maulgrim apologized. "Perhaps I should have knocked first. Nonetheless, I believe we have a problem."

Vaati's eyes narrowed. "What kind of problem? And why the devil are you holding Spike?"

"This little one had something to say to me, but I could not make it out. All I heard was…"

Flashback…

Maulgrim had just entered the town square when he happened to notice Spike scrambling towards the library. His eyes were wide as dinner plates, and he was hyperventilating; he looked like he had just seen a ghost. Spike, in his haste to reach the library, nearly ran into him. "You there!" Maulgrim boomed. "What ails you, wyrmling?"

Spike looked up at the Darknut, his eyes wild with terror as he babbled, "Rarity! Help! Jewels! Dogs! Taken! Save her!"

Maulgrim grunted in irritation. "Speak sense, wyrmling!"

Then when Spike realized he was talking to a creature that, for all intents and purposes, closely resembled a Diamond Dog, his addled mind promptly shut down, and the baby dragon fainted.

End Flashback…

Twilight, having finally recovered from her shock and stood up again, regarded the unconscious baby dragon with worry. "He said something about Rarity. A few hours ago, he and Rarity went off to find some gems for a set of dresses Rarity was going to make. Oh no! What if something's happened to her?"

"Maulgrim, lay him on the table," Vaati commanded.

The Darknut did so, and Vaati conjured a glass of water before pouring it unceremoniously all over Spike's face. The dragon immediately regained consciousness, spluttering and coughing as Twilight, Vaati, Nigellas, and Maulgrim surrounded him. "Spike," Vaati spoke, trying to get his attention. "Spike, look at me!"

Spike was breathing heavily as he looked up at the sorcerer, noticing Maulgrim looming over him from behind. "Agh!" he screamed, pointing at the Darknut. "T-t-there's a Diamond Dog right behind you, Vaati!"

"Gather your bearings, Spike!" Vaati responded. "Maulgrim's a Darknut, not a Diamond Dog. Now what happened? Where is Rarity?"

Spike was shivering profusely and still hyperventilating somewhat, but was able to respond. "R-Rarity and I w-w-were looking for gems w-when these big creepy guys called the Diamond Dogs popped up and kidnapped her!"

"Kidnapped?!" Twilight repeated, aghast.

"They did what?!" Maulgrim angrily bellowed, his thunderous voice shaking the rafters.

Spike trembled under the Black Knight's righteous fury. Vaati glanced at the Darknut and snapped, "Maulgrim, settle down! He's terrified enough as it is!"

Maulgrim quieted, but the murderous flame did not vanish from his eyes. "Alright, Spike," Vaati said. "Do you have any idea where Rarity was taken?"

Spike hastily nodded, prompting the sorcerer to turn towards Nigellas. "Get to the Palace and bring me back a small detachment of Wizzrobes. I want a pair of Aquamancers and Pyromancers, an Aeromancer, and four Geomancers. Maulgrim, go with him and suit up. Be back down here in ten minutes with the reinforcements. Now get to it!"

Nigellas nodded, teleporting himself and Maulgrim away to the Palace. "I'll get the others!" Twilight cried, galloping out the door.

XXXXXX

Thirty minutes later…

Vaati, the Mane Six, Maulgrim, Nigellas, and nine different-colored Wizzrobes ran or floated as fast as they could in the directions Spike was pointing them in. In order to match their pace, Maulgrim had opted not to don his heavier plate armor, settling for his under-armor instead, which consisted of a chainmail hauberk under a faded black tunic and leggings, as well as gauntlets and ankle guards with steel boots. Instead of the usual Darknut broadsword, he wore his secondary dueling saber at his side. He still carried his large, round shield, though. The Pyromancers wore red robes with magical flames dancing on their hats; the Aquamancers' robes were blue, with icicles hanging from the brims of their hats; the Aeromancer was clothed in grayish-white, but with no special effects in its hat; and the Geomancers wore robes colored like the brown earth, with a ring of rocks buckled around the bowl of their hats.

As Twilight ran, she glanced up at Spike, who was busy fretting. "So you said Rarity was dragged into a hole?"

"Uh huh," Spike nervously responded.

"Oh! This should be easy then! We just find the hole she was taken into and-!"

The group suddenly stopped cold as they reached the quarry. There were holes everywhere. "Holy moly, that's a lotta holeys!" Pinkie Pie cried.

The Geomancers stepped forward and cast their hands out simultaneously towards the pockmarked quarry below. "What in tarnation're they doin'?" Applejack demanded.

"Shh!" Vaati hissed. "They're using their geomancy to detect where the holes lead, and if there's anybody waiting for us down there."

The four Geomancers pooled together their strength into one spell, intensifying it to encompass the entire quarry and receive the same information feed simultaneously. After a few minutes they all lowered their arms. "Well?" Vaati asked.

"The holes all lead to different areas of an underground labyrinth," one of the earth-bending Wizzrobes explained. "There's quite a number of bio-signs within the caverns. There appears to be a massive mining operation down there."

"Makes sense, considering Diamond Dogs' culture surrounding jewels," Twilight observed.

"Forget that!" Rainbow Dash interrupted. "Let's just get down there, rescue Rarity, and kick some flank!"

"Burn their bones black!" a Pyromancer cried.

"Freeze their souls solid!" an Aquamancer vowed.

"Blow them away!" the Aeromancer cackled.

"Bury them in their own tombs!" a Geomancer spoke.

All the ponies looked at the grinning Wizzrobes with utterly mortified expressions. Noticing this, Vaati rolled his eyes. "Gentlemen, don't kill anything unless you have no other choice."

Knowing the reason for this decision, the Wizzrobes grumbled at the Mane Six. "Pansies," one of them muttered under its breath.

"We're wasting time!" Vaati snapped, proceeding into the quarry. "Let's go!"

The group of ponies, Wizzrobes, and Darknut followed the sorcerer down, inspecting some of the holes as they passed. "We don't want to alert them to our presence," Vaati spoke in a low, quiet tone just loud enough for his companions to hear. "This is what we do. Split up. Twilight, I want each of your friends to group up with a pair of Wizzrobes. Rainbow Dash, you'll go with a Geomancer and Aquamancer. Fluttershy, you'll go with the Aeromancer, the other Aquamancer, and another Geomancer. Applejack, you go with a Pyromancer and Geomancer. Pinkie Pie, you'll join another Pyromancer and Geomancer. Nigellas, Twilight, Spike, Maulgrim, you're with me. Enter whichever hole you see fit."

Unbeknownst to the group, one of the Diamond Dogs had been observing them and retreated before they could notice him. The party split up and began picking out holes. As Pinkie's group stopped at one hole, the Pyromancer said, "I'll go first."

"Of course you'd want to go first," the Geomancer snickered.

"Stuff it," the Pyromancer snapped.

The Fire Wizzrobe then jumped in. "Oooh, that looks like fun!" Pinkie chirped.

"Guuuaaagh!"

The Pyromancer was promptly ejected from the hole by a pillar of dirt, falling flat on his back. "Stupid dog," it weakly groaned.

"What in-?!" the Geomancer exclaimed as more and more holes began to instantly fill up with dirt.

"HURRY UP, YOU FOOLS!" Vaati roared, leaping towards a nearby hole, but not before it had already filled up. "Geomancers! Make yourselves useful!"

As the others tried and failed to reach different holes before they could fill up, the Geomancers cast their hands up. Maulgrim reached one hole and braced himself against his shield as he tried to push back the mound of dirt. "You! Will! Not! Prevail!"

Unfortunately the Darknut could not hold forever and was eventually forced back. The knight cursed in his native tongue.

The Earth Wizzrobes' black hands started to sparkle as they tried to force the dirt mounds back into the depths of the earth. Apparently the Diamond Dogs hadn't expected that, because the dirt mounds around several holes immediately gave way. "GO!" Vaati commanded.

The various groups wasted no time in leaping down the holes one after the other.

XXXXXX

Vaati tumbled down the hole first, landing on his stomach with an audible grunt. Twilight and Spike came next, landing on the mage's back. And then Maulgrim's weighty form crashed on top of them, eliciting groans of pain and agony. Laughing, Nigellas came last, sliding down and landing on top of the pile of bodies on his feet with a smug, if unseen grin. "Guess who wasn't stupid and let the big guy go first, eh?"

Vaati and Maulgrim both growled irritably before managing to disentangle themselves. Once everyone was up and tidy again, they took note of their surroundings. They were in a large chamber beneath the earth, where smaller tunnels branched off in every direction. There was no sign of the others. Twilight glanced all around. "Oh, there's so many passageways! Where do we go?!"

"Bloody Dark World, we're lost," Maulgrim growled.

Spike fell on his knees once again. "NOOOOOOOO-!"

"Shut up, Spike!" Vaati hissed, sealing the baby dragon's mouth with a spell. "If they know we got in here, we'll lose time trying to fight our way through. We don't know how many of the buggers are down here. So keep quiet, you hear?"

Spike wordlessly nodded, prompting Vaati to unseal his mouth again. "Let's get a move on," Vaati said to his group. "Now the question is, which way?"

Nigellas glanced at all their possible routes. "Your guess is as good as mine, sir."

"Wait...mine! That's it!" Spike exclaimed. "The Diamond Dogs wanted Rarity to find gems for them, right? So they must have taken her down the tunnel with the most gems! So if we can copy Rarity's gem-finding spell, we can find out where they took her!"

Twilight gasped in realization. "Spike, that's a great idea! Rarity taught me her gem-finding spell a while back. If I can just remember..."

Squeezing her eyes shut, Twilight began to focus magic through her horn. The horn then lit up with her magical aura, revealing the locations of small collections of gems throughout the expansive network of caverns. The caches seemed to be more heavily concentrated on a particular tunnel that branched off to the right. "Ya did it, Twilight!" Spike congratulated. "Now we can go save Rarity!"

"Nigellas, alert the Geomancers," Vaati curtly ordered. "Follow the tunnels where the gem deposits are most numerous."

Nigellas momentarily linked his mind with his fellow Wizzrobes' and notified them of what to do. "Don't worry, Rarity!" Spike cried as he leaped onto Twilight's back. "I'll save you!"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "I do wonder how the others are doing, though," she said to nobody in particular.

XXXXXX

Pinkie's group...

"...and then she said, 'Oatmeal? Are you crazy?!' And I was like blahblahblahblahblahcupcakesblahblahblah..."

"Good Goddesses, does she ever shut up?" the Pyromancer groaned, pressing its hands against its ears.

"I'm not even certain she breathes," the Geomancer commented, concentrating on following the vein of gems down the passageway.

"GAAAAAASP-And then I was all like, yadayadayadayada..."

"...Well then."

XXXXXX

"I'm sure they're fine," Vaati off-handedly replied. "Let's go."

XXXXXX

Applejack's group...

The farmpony admittedly felt somewhat uncomfortable being flanked by the two looming Wizzrobes, but they didn't seem to pay her much mind. Their team's Geomancer was busily leading them down the passage with the highest concentration of gems, and the Pyromancer was keeping a sharp lookout for any potential ambushes. However, she was able to appreciate the fact that they were all business, devoting themselves to their goal.

Suddenly the Fire Wizzrobe's palms ignited. "Look alive! We've got company!"

The trio turned in the direction of the sound of baying hounds. From the passageway behind them emerged a small pack of Diamond Dogs, five in number. They were built like gorillas, with faces like bulldogs, short spears clasped in their paws, and their bodies protected by crude plate armor. Seeing the pair of strange, robed creatures gave them a short moment of pause.

That was all the Wizzrobes needed. The Pyromancer cast his hands up, unleashing a great tongue of searing-hot flames at the Dogs. Yelping, they ducked under the flames, their tails taking the brunt of the heat and becoming charred to a crisp. The Dogs barely had time to register this before they were pelted with rocks, some of which felt very sharp. The rocks let up for a moment, allowing the Diamond Dogs to get a glimpse of their foes.

The Pyromancer was surrounded by swirling flames while a collection of knife-sharp rocks hovered ominously around the Geomancer, all pointed directly at the quivering Dogs. Applejack, overwhelmed by the ferocity of her protectors' powers, huddled a short distance away from them, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire. The Dogs immediately realized they were outmatched, dropped their spears, and fled back the way they came, yipping all the way. Once their terrified howls could no longer be heard, the two Wizzrobes turned back towards Applejack, who was getting to her hooves. "Boy howdy," she commented nervously. "That was really, uh...somethin'."

"We move," the Geomancer replied simply, resuming his course.

XXXXXX

Rainbow Dash's group...

"So…uh, what are Aquamancers supposed to do?" Rainbow tentatively asked the blue-clad Ice Wizzrobe, hoping to strike up a conversation with the enigmatic wizards, anything to relieve the boredom.

"This world contains magic out the wazoo and you still don't know anything about it?" the Aquamancer flatly responded.

"Hey, I'm a pegasus!" Rainbow defended herself. "All that magic mumbo-jumbo's for unicorns! I'm no egghead!"

The Aquamancer rolled his eyes. "Aquamancers possess power over the element of water. But since water isn't all that much of an offensive magic, we usually stick with ice-based attacks. Read a book about magic once in your life. You might learn something."

"Reading's for eggheads," Rainbow replied.

"Who're you calling 'egghead', eggface?!" the Geomancer snapped, looking up from where he was tracking the gem deposits.

"Eggface?!" Rainbow snarled, flying right up to the Earth Wizzrobe's face. "Wanna say that again, chump?!"

"Before you two get too involved with pounding on each other's egos, I would like to report that we are not alone," the Aquamancer interrupted as howling and barking echoed from the passageway. "They are coming."

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "Dramatic much?"

Soon a large pack of Diamond Dog guards emerged from the tunnel, brandishing their spears. "How fast are you, pegasus?" the Aquamancer asked.

"The fastest in Equestria!" Rainbow boasted before blinking. "Wait, why do you ask?"

"See if you can't distract them long enough for us to immobilize them."

Rainbow grinned and saluted. "You can count on me!"

The rainbow-maned pegasus zipped towards the line of Diamond Dogs, spinning around the group to disorient them and occasionally diving in to throw punches and kicks. She was way too fast for the Dogs to hit. "Well I'll be a Moblin's uncle," the Aquamancer observed. "This pony can fight."

One of the Dogs managed to notice the two Wizzrobes readying spells and bounded towards them, growling fiercely. Before it could reach them, however, the brown one threw its hands down. Suddenly a slab of rock shot up from beneath the Dog and knocked it senseless. Meanwhile, Rainbow, having gotten caught up in the heat of the moment, had touched down in the center of the group of disoriented Diamond Dogs and begun kicking them left and right. One of them managed to recover and jumped onto her back, wrapping a rope and harness around her. "Oh no you just didn't!" she roared, slamming it against a wall and knocking it off her.

"Hey, pegasus! Get out of there!" the Aquamancer yelled, ice energy swirling around its hands.

Seeing what was about to happen, Rainbow zoomed over to the two Wizzrobes and got behind them. With her out of the line of fire, the Ice Wizzrobe finally released the ice energy it had been stockpiling. An all-encompassing blizzard of snow and ice engulfed the entire group of Diamond Dogs, freezing them solid. When the blizzard died down, the passageway ahead was covered as far as they could see with snow, and the Dogs were trapped in ice, unable to move.

"I don't think they'll be getting out of that for a while," the Geomancer said. "Now let's be off."

As they passed the frozen ape-hounds, Rainbow gulped. "That was…really disturbing…and really cool at the same time."

"I hate being an Aquamancer. The puns never stop coming."

"Huh?" Rainbow asked, confused.

"Ah come on, chill out," the Geomancer snickered.

"Don't you even start," the Aquamancer growled.

XXXXXX

Spike was busy fantasizing how he was going to single-handedly rescue Rarity as he sat on Twilight's back. He was roughly shaken from his reverie when Vaati suddenly cried, "Look out! Here they come!"

Eight Diamond Dogs came barreling out of the tunnel ahead of them. Before anyone could even blink, Maulgrim let out a thunderous war cry and unsheathed his sword. "Lowly vermin! Feel the sting of my blade as I cut you all low!"

The Diamond Dogs scattered before the ferocity of the enraged Darknut's attack, yipping in fright and confusion. His tempered blade easily cut through the crude spears of the Diamond Dogs, leaving them virtually defenseless. Those that still chose to fight without a weapon attempted to dog pile their foe, but their efforts were in vain. Maulgrim easily shook them off before following up with brutal punches and kicks, made more devastating due to his armor.

"Shouldn't we do something?!" Twilight cried, fidgeting.

"No, let Maulgrim have his fun," Vaati coolly replied, leaning against the wall.

"He's got this completely under control," Nigellas observed, watching the curbstomp battle with a look of amusement.

The Diamond Dogs had no chance from the start. Maulgrim's skill and superior weaponry easily dominated the Dogs' crude attacks, and his furious determination overwhelmed their innate cowardice. His blade swung again and again, only ever leaving small cuts, never enough to truly kill or maim. The Dogs were bruised and scarred all over, and Maulgrim was barely breaking a sweat.

Soon the real fighting was over, and all the Diamond Dogs were huddling close to each other on the ground like frightened puppies. Maulgrim stood over them, his eyes ablaze with anger. "Who wants to get put down first?" he growled, pointing his longsword at the cowering Dogs.

The Diamond Dogs collectively whimpered in terror, and Twilight couldn't help but feel sorry for them. She could tell that they weren't just terrified; they were in fear for their lives. "No one?" Maulgrim spoke. "Then tell me where Lady Rarity is being held, and I will spare your cowardly hides."

"R-r-right down t-t-there," one of them whimpered, pointing down the tunnel they had appeared from.

"Good. Now off with you before I change my mind!"

The Diamond Dogs immediately scurried away, yipping in frightened relief. After they were gone, Maulgrim sheathed his sword as the rest of the group approached him. "Excellent work, Maulgrim," Vaati commended. "We're almost there. Rarity should be right at the end of this tunnel."

"Then what are we waiting for?!" Spike yelled, picking up the business end of half a spear. "Let's go!"

The little dragon ran down the passageway. "Spike, wait!" Twilight cried, galloping after him.

"Spike, you idiot!" Vaati yelled, following Twilight. "Stay with the group!"

Nigellas and Maulgrim wordlessly brought up the rear. After a few minutes of chasing after the eager dragon, they finally arrived at a wide chamber with dozens of other tunnels branching out from it. Spike skidded to a halt at the head of the group and struck a valiant pose. "Fear not, Rarity!" he cried. "Your knight in shining armor has come to rescue…"

Spike then took notice of the scene, and his jaw dropped in bafflement. At this moment, the various other groups appeared as well throughout the chamber, all staring agape at the unexpected scene.

Several banners of various colors were hung up along the cavernous walls. The three Diamond Dog leaders that had kidnapped Rarity before were now currently slaving away with hauling large carts piled high with gems, while many other Dog guards hastily dug away at the walls, searching frantically for more gems. And sitting on a makeshift throne, flanked by two guards fanning her with palm leaves, was Rarity, calmly sipping from a golden goblet. Vaati's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. Maulgrim looked utterly baffled. The Mane Six and Spike regarded the scene with bewilderment. The Wizzrobes just stared emptily, their minds trying and failing to process what they were seeing.

The Aeromancer summed up what was on everyone's minds: "Uh…I'm confused."

Seeing the would-be rescuers gawking, the three head Diamond Dogs wearily dragged their carts over to them. "P-p-please…make her stop," the leader begged.

"I…what?" Vaati responded, his expression one of a broken mind.

"She won't stop talking!" the small one whined. "The whining…it hurts us!"

"Please, take her back!" the big one pleaded, clutching his ears. "We can't stand it!"

Noticing her rescuers, Rarity finished her drink and calmly trotted over to them, the Dogs trembling in her presence. "Why hello, girls!" she greeted. "Vaati, Maulgrim, how lovely to see you again!"

"Rarity!" Spike exclaimed, hugging his long-time crush. "I'm so glad you're safe!"

"Well, why wouldn't I be?" Rarity answered. "Just because I'm a lady doesn't mean I can't handle myself, after all! You arrived just in time, though."

"Uh…just in time for what?" Applejack asked.

"Why, to help me carry these gems, of course!" Rarity answered, pointing towards several carts laden with sparkling gemstones.

"You're letting her leave…with all these jewels?" Spike marveled.

"Y-y-yes, take the gems!" the lead Dog whimpered. "Take them all…and her with them! We'll do anything!"

The other two Dogs yelped. "Remember how we got into this mess in the first place?!" the small one cried.

Vaati's grin was terrifying. "Anything, you say?"

"Uh…uh…" the Dogs answered, shivering.

"Well, as Rarity said, we're going to need some help carrying these jewels back to Ponyville," Vaati replied. "And since I have no intention of carrying them myself, and I'm certain my Wizzrobes are in agreement with that statement, you will all carry these jewels for us to Ponyville. And then, Maulgrim here is going to teach you a little lesson about why it is unwise to anger a Darknut. And as of this day forth, your entire pack now works for me.You will continue mining as you are, but a 20% cut of your gems will be supplied to Rarity here every week for her dresses, and another 20% sent to me as tribute. Your progress shall be constantly monitored by a detachment of Darknuts who will keep very close tabs on all of you. Oh, and expect Maulgrim to teach you all proper conduct for treating ladies as well as basic hygiene. You stink like a dead Octorok. Have I made myself perfectly clear?"

The Diamond Dogs collectively gulped.

XXXXXX

Dear Princess Celestia,

A series of events today have culminated in a most fortunate event for me. I have secured the, shall we say "services" of a local Diamond Dog pack who shall be providing Rarity and myself with a supply of gems for our usage. Rarity will use hers for her dresses, and I will exchange mine for your country's currency. I love how things work out in the end.

As for the subject of Rarity, I find that my earliest assessments of her were wrong. She may fancy herself an aristocratic lady, (whom, in my experiences, have proven to be quite fragile and soft) but she has proven that she is more than capable of taking care of herself and is a conniving manipulator after my own heart. I should not have judged the book by its cover, even though, in an ironic twist of fate, this is exactly what I berated Twilight for a few months back. Sometimes, though, we need to be reminded of the lessons we have learned, none more so than I.

Signed,

Vaati Picoru, Sorcerer of Winds

After Princess Celestia finished reading Vaati's letter, her expression was unreadable. Luna, on the other hand, found this quite hilarious as she rolled on her throne with laughter. Wordlessly, Celestia summoned a wine bottle and a glass out of nowhere. She needed a freaking drink.