This morning, Shining Armor thought that his daughter's goth phase was his biggest worry. Now, he has to deal with a retired stage magician, a smoke monster that refuses to stay dead, the dumbest possible parallel universe, AND his daughter's goth phase.

Nothing about this makes any sense... and why does King Sombra seem oddly afraid of Trixie...?

Quite possibly the crackiest of all crack fics I have ever written for any fandom to date. I wrote this in about a week and had an absolute BLAST writing it. Contains...

• Trixie's verbal tic maxed out to the point where it becomes a plot point of sorts
• brooding goth Flurry Heart, complete with goth name
• card tricks
• the Crystal Empire having quite possibly worse security protocols than it does in canon
• nopony taking anything quite as seriously as they probably should
• Shining Armor making a few rather questionable choices involving his daughter's safety
• card tricks
• a magic mirror portal that ought to be yeeted into the sun or moved to the SCP Foundation HQ
• trace amounts of Applejack
• an homage to the best Mumbo and Grian comedy skit from the Last Life series on YouTube
• card tricks

Inspired by TWO contests!

Entering this into the Portal Transformations Contest I.

Also, after some consideration and checking with Muggonny, entering this into the Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad 2024 Competition. It blasted WAY past the max word count, but I'll just have to live with the wordcount penalty.

In an unremarkable city, in an unremarkable hospital, to two unremarkable ponies, a filly was born. A filly who was all too remarkable. A filly who radiated Destiny, and Adventure.

Her parents, however, liked their unremarkable life, in their unremarkable city, and wanted nothing more for their little filly than to have a nice, normal, unremarkable youth. So whenever Destiny or Adventure reared their heads, they made sure to nip it in the bud. Magical portals, foreign princes, time travellers and mysterious salesponies of magical musical instruments all got the same answer:

Nope.

Based on the Nope: The Anime joke (original posts) that went around on Tumblr some years ago. Expect silliness.

Covert art based on a picture by greyscale / Theponysketchguy, edited by me to change her hair and eye colour and make her look younger.

Spanish version:
Un poni llamado Nop on DeviantArt, translated by SPANIARD KIWI.

Twilight has too much time on her hooves.

Twilight has a spell that involves 'transposing male characteristics' that she hasn't tried yet.

Twilight is about to get herself into a whole world of trouble.

-
Translated into Russian(!) by the amazing repitter with editing by FoxcubRandy

Princess Twilight Sparkle wakes up early one morning, stretches, then decides to destroy Ponyville. As you do.

Featured from Jan 12- Jan 15 '19. Mucho Gracias!

The sequel is Twilight Sparkle vs Equestria

Main Course is a successful chef and restaurant owner. Or he was, anyway, until a fire tore up his life's work and left him adrift. When he visits his sister in the rural backwater town of Ponyville, he discovers an abandoned building that's perfect for a quick fix-up so he can flip it for a profit. But the building comes with an unforeseen tenant, and when he lets her stick around he discovers that maybe, just maybe, there's something out there more important than wealth and fame.

Rainbow Dash is really enjoying being an honorary big sister to Scootaloo. They hang out, she praises Rainbow's sweet moves- it's really the perfect relationship. Until Rainbow has to do boring grown-up stuff and ask to meet Scootaloo's parents. No big deal. Just in case something happens, Rainbow knows who to go to.

Except... Scootaloo keeps dodging the question. And nopony in town has a clue where she lives either.

Rainbow is getting worried while Scootaloo is getting more and more desperate to avoid an answer. Because what if that answer isn't cool enough for Rainbow Dash?

On one morning, without explanation, Princess Celestia woke up as a giant spider. Her guards, her sister, her once student Twilight and the rest of her ponies and other creatures of Equestria were rather shocked at the fact that such a transformation had taken place in her.

She didn't seem to mind it.

Audio reading by Lotus Moon.
Polish translation by Dolar84.
Russian translation by MLPMihail.

Nobles have long held sway over Equestrian culture. They are the trendsetters, the heads of the pack. Simply the way they speak can influence language. When they create compliments, similarly-phrased praise spreads throughout the nation. When they implement insults, ponies create situations for those insults to be used. One insult, in particular, has gone down in history as especially infamous.

I'm talking about butts and the photocopying thereof. This is still Equestrian nobility, after all. It's complicated. And stupid. Mostly stupid.

Has a dramatic reading done by Skijarama.

There's a new stallion in town. A new stallion who won't stop staring at Applejack's rear.

She has some opinions about that.

Sex jokes abound, but no actual sex.

Now with a Spanish translation: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/El-culo-de-Applejack-923171828

To save Equestria, all Shining Armor has to do is stand in one spot and do nothing.

A story of a pony's struggle against himself.

Written for Crystal Wishes (kind of?), the first draft being for her Super Summer Jam.

Edited by Pearple Prose and MrNumbers.