• Member Since 30th Nov, 2015
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Rambling Writer

Our job is not to give readers what they want; our job is to show them things they never imagined. --Walt Williams


Nobles have long held sway over Equestrian culture. They are the trendsetters, the heads of the pack. Simply the way they speak can influence language. When they create compliments, similarly-phrased praise spreads throughout the nation. When they implement insults, ponies create situations for those insults to be used. One insult, in particular, has gone down in history as especially infamous.

I'm talking about butts and the photocopying thereof. This is still Equestrian nobility, after all. It's complicated. And stupid. Mostly stupid.

Has a dramatic reading done by Skijarama.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 83 )

That was brilliant.


Did you really just spend 2000 words for a butt joke? A play on words no less

I salute you, thank you for the smile and laugh, and declare you have to much time on your hands, in that order.

A masterpiece. This website just keeps taking Ws.

This is Amazing. :'D

Exquisite. A well-rounded story indeed.

Did you just write a fic to justify the butt dance?


Nowadays, rare indeed is the noble who, when greeting others, chooses to do a little shake, so to speak.

The primary exception was Princess Luna, who — being a Serious Pony with Serious Responsibilities — refused to take place in such whimsy. (Records of dreams of the time say you could tell when Luna had entered yours, as everything started to make a disappointing amount of sense.)

I refuse to believe Best Princess is a stick in the mud.

No, he wrote it to make a butt joke :rainbowlaugh:
Gotta respect that determination.

100000/10 best story

Let me get to the bottom of this and say this was a fun read, butt I was hoping for some Princess of Friendship shenanigans.

It was an event that could only occur once in a blue moon.

You gave us a 2,000 word history lecture on the art of sending copies of your butt, just to do this?


I think I'm done with the internet for today.

Very charming and cheeky. Are you a fan of Terry Pratchet, by chance? Reminds me of his work.

I'm probably the only person on the Internet who could say this, but no. I've read some of his works and they never really clicked for me.

I can't help but feel that the last sentence in the story came first.

Everything else was simply justification to use it in this context.



One of many favorite lines:

(Records of dreams of the time say you could tell when Luna had entered yours, as everything started to make a disappointing amount of sense.)

I said almost the exact same thing, but you did it more eloquently, well done XD

You will burn in hell for that. You will most certainly burn in hell. I myself will happily light the pilot light for your specially crafted inferno.

Damn, I am so jealous of that one...

Ha, this whole thing was brilliant.
It felt like a lecture on noble history in Cherilee's class!

Sunshine, sunshine,
Ladybugs awake!
Clap your hooves,
And do a little shake!

Speaking of things that only happen once in a blue moon, stories that address the origin of the friendship chant.

The tapestry has since become a symbol for Equestria's diplomatic excellence. It enjoys a place of honour in Equestria's Ministry of Foreign Affair and is symbolically presented at every diplomatic exchange with foreign powers. Half of the world's experts on the political sciences wonder how it is that Equestria managed to enjoy millenia of peace despite their backwards approach to diplomacy while the other laud its strategic brilliance, arguing that most sensible nations would rather avoid war with a country so obviously dinged in the head. The practice was finally consigned to history in the year 1008 C.E. when, during first contact with a race known as 'humans', the gesture was reciprocated in glorious 4K HD by the President of the [REDACTED].

It was an event that could only occur once in a blue moon.

SON OF A BITCH! I swear you wrote that whole thing just for that pun!

... No offense to Diamond Dogs.

How dare you make me read that with my own eyes, thumbs up and favorited

Well, technically they had a picture of a blue moon with them. so does that count?

What? No Twibutt? (I assumed she'd be the one doing it because of the cover art)

But he lacked unicorns that day, so to compensate, Grover simply went and literally stuck his butt in Celestia’s face.

It was a good thing I was not drinking anything. It would've ended up all over the computer if I had been drinking.

Sometimes it just has to be done. I have an unwritten idea bouncing around my head based on simple thing. So, I can appreciate it when someone writes a story just to use one line.

I'm not blaming, I'm congratulating! It's regional colloquialism. That's my story and I'm sticking to it :trollestia:

Seriously though, I've seen effort put into jokes at this level. The payoff is almost always worth it. This is definitely one of those times.

From artistic to arse-tic. I approve.

This was a great read! I really enjoy the rather well eloquently made and crafted structure for your 'story'. It felt more like an actual history lecture with some rather "cheeky" commentary. :rainbowlaugh: I hope you do more stories like this in the future. Very rare to have something like this standing amongst many other fan works here. :twilightsmile: :twilightsheepish: Well done! :pinkiehappy:

This made my entire day. :rainbowlaugh:

nobility wallowed in stuffy old pics about the buttocks

Nice Futurama reference



A short story that serves as the setup for a single pun or shaggy dog gag at the end is called a "feghoot," and alas, it's a slowly dying literary form.

your profile pic matches that so well for some reason

(Monumentality was quite common in the Classical Era.)

Do I sense a fellow Civilization fan? :moustache:

Skywriter's Shipping Sickness is a classic.

I was going to make a nasty smart flank comment but I just left saying 'I was going to make a nasty smart flank comment" comment instead .

Aaaaaaaaand there’s the punchline.


I bite my thumb at you, sir. Very well done.

It was an event that could only occur once in a blue moon.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

I don't know about this story; it seems the plot fell a bit flat :trollestia:

she was the one whole told Grover about

who had

The best kind of story is one where you just don't see it becoming the massive set up for a joke.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Ha. Feghoot.

*Clears throat*

My dear fellow noble,

I have just received your most recent missive, complete with an image of your more intelligent and articulate (if far less verbose) side. I must admit, it is truly a very impressive likeness. The artist truly captured both the signs of your excessive dietary habits, as well as the lack of physical activity, and the tendency of such to be in less than ideal locations, leaving certain skeletal structures quite prominent. Indeed, it was worth every bit that your ancestors had "attained" which you had spent on it (quite generously too, I presume). I fear I am unable to immediately respond in kind, as I am currently looking upon investments for a very modest portion of my own wealth, which I am certain will pay out near a thousand-folds, in turn placing my own financial gains all the further above your own. Fear not, however. I have already begun seeking out a talented artist of my own, and sent word to one of my textile mills. In short time, you will receive a pillow with my own backside embroidered on it. Thus, not only shall I return the favor, but will present you with a gift which shall allow you to rest your backside as it grows more prominent.

With friendly regards,
Your fellow noble.

:facehoof: Was that entire 2,251 words just written for the 5 word stinger at the end?

When a pun's wordplay is so clever it makes you angry.

This is that.

it’s ambiguous whether she got to four via 2 + 2, 2 x 2, 22 , 22, or one of the other hyperoperations.

Okay, could someone more versed in Maths explain what that last one means? Because it's really bugging me and, unlike many such things, it's impossible to google because you can't specifically search for something superscripted.

That was just ass-inine.

An eye for an eye and a pun for a pun. Good day, sir.

Story is great, capstone really makes it.

It's called a hyperoperation, specifically tetration, and is the next step above exponentiation. Just like 2 * 3 = 2 + 2 + 2 and 23 = 2 * 2 * 2, 32 = 2^2^2.

I'll save you some time:

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