• Member Since 19th Mar, 2012
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Quoth the raven: "CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW" (Patreon)


To save Equestria, all Shining Armor has to do is stand in one spot and do nothing.

A story of a pony's struggle against himself.

Written for Crystal Wishes (kind of?), the first draft being for her Super Summer Jam.

Edited by Pearple Prose and MrNumbers.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 55 )

Holy shit, almost a whole year since I posted something? Ooof. I'm working on some Big Projects in the background -- but they're not ready yet. So in the meantime, have a treat.

It's a short little something. Mr.Numbers dared me to write something in one go, with this prompt, in under 2k. I failed and made it 3k. Then a week later I expanded it into 4k.

Here's the story anyway.

Cheers, and I hope you liked it.

So... Shining Armor did a bad?

I’ll be honest, it was also too fast paced for me but considering it had been a writing challenge originally I can forgive that. It was also funny, very funny. You still have it Aragon.

Looks to me like Shining Armor did a princess.

And it's actually hilarious how nonchallantly Captain Nameless went from "the Chosen Ones" to "you Chosen Ones" with Shining Armor. Fitting, too, because Fate indeed has many rather bad things in store for him—but exponentially more good, and much longer-lasting to boot.

That's the funny thing with information loops.

Especially since, unless you independently verify looped information, you might as well be guessing...

Just a bit of history repeating...

Written for Crystal Wishes (kind of?),


<insert IOU for real comment here, to be delivered, uh, tomorrow>

Yeah, beware the hooves of fate. You never can tell what they’re going to do. Even if that means banging the princess of love in a special room while your time displaced self is nearby.

My favorite thing about this story is the whole concept of Sergeant Poke Eye being used as a time-table to predict future destiny defining events. That sort of idea is just genius!

He's the true hero of this story.

This is going to be about porn, isn't it?

EDIT: I was close.

FURTHER EDIT: That wasn't a shot.

I firmly believe Cadance is one freaky Alicorn and everything that happened was more than destiny.

Shining Armor. Fucking, with time.

I demand further exploration of the life and times of Poke Eye.

Ever hear of a causal loop? Its where traveling back in time causes the very events that made you travel back in time in the first place creating a time loop

“Yes. But also.” The captain looked at Shining Armor. “Fate is like a wave, Private. Once it comes, it comes all at once. Sergeant Poke Eye was destined to poke his eye out eventually, but he only has the two, and Fate knows this. So, every time he goes all the way—it means something big is about to happen. Something fateful . Understand?”

"Every time?" D-does he lose both eyes often? :twilightoops:

This is not a story they will tell their daughter.

I am not sure why he didn't confess the time travel thing. I mean… that would do more to absolve him of the whole thing than anything else.

“Look at my niece! Full of Destiny to the brim!”




Enjoyable, and a well done time travel story

Shiny, not only can you not fight destiny, MLP indicates it's also impossible to change time. So you had it coming and going there.

Aaand I just realised that might have not been the best choice of words in this explict circumstance.


That last sentence wasn't either, was it?


Holy shit, almost a whole year since I posted something?

Well, you posted a chaper of Sunsettle in January... And it astonished me it was that long ago when I looked at that, because it didn't feel like it was...

Huh. You know most would be able to take some comfort that this was the weirdest thing that could happen to them in the course of their life. Shame that doesn’t apply here.

Not entirely sure what I just read... but been drinking heavily so maybe it'll make sense of a second reading. Why do you and alcohol seem to go hand in hand Aragon?

“Thank you for your service. And welcome to the Royal Guard.” He smiled. “I’m afraid, it will only get worse from here.”

I get the feeling guard captains have said this to privates for generations. This may the traditional closer to the speech given to military academy graduates in Equestria.

In any case, hilarious stuff. I love both Poke Eye, the canary of Fate, and how predestination paradoxes run in the family. And given what Shining did to Cadence, it's no wonder Chrysalis was able to take out Celestia after feeding on him, even if that was considerably less fun for the alicorn. I assume.

Thank you for this.

I am. Very confused. What in the actual fuck...

I.....wait..what? Ok......think I am too sober for this. Going to go get myself a drink and try this again.

I’m calling Doctor Who shenanigans...

I remember a headcanon where the closed loop when information comes seemengly from nowhere, actually begun with a serious problem, that got solved, and the message degenerated from loop to loop until it just repeated itself.

According to Princess Cadance, he did goooooooood.

I'm so happy you're writing here again! :-D

Mmkay. That's one heck of a bootstrap paradox for the history books. :rainbowlaugh:

Additional thought: this moon crown...is it breaking in some way related to Nightmare Moon returning again, or am I just reading too much into it?

It's explicitely said that Celestia built it to detect inner turmoil, she calls it 'the moon crown', and it's set right next to a giant hourglass that's been counting down to a thousand years through generations -- the implication is that after Luna was sent to the moon, Princess Celestia created the crown to avoid another Nightmare Moon element. This is also why the whole 'Fate is hard to fight against' thing gets to her and she forgives Shining Armor; she's reminded of her sister, and how they couldn't fight Fate back then either.

Looks gay.

Should be good.

The only sure way to avoid paradoxes in past time travel is if each change does indeed create a splinter timeline and the original chugs on as if nothing happened.

Basically "Dragon Ball Z" logic.

Princess Celestia wasn’t red in the face, but she sure looked like she wanted to. “Of course, Captain,” she said. “We all make mistakes. Why. I have lost count of all the impressionable fillies I have impregnated today!”


“The single most Chosen One kid this sorry city has ever seen?”

I wonder how many chosen kids there are in Canterlot.

With Poke Eye being used as a predictor of portentous events to come, I can't help but think Celestia has a whole bunch of ponies on hoof who all have similar talents that can only occur a few times a lifetime. Poke Eye's not going to poke his other eye out just because they ran out of coffee, after all :trollestia:

(they might if they ran out of Celestia's favorite kind of tea or all her cake)

I love the coverart, and I love this fic. :rainbowlaugh:

Nah, she only has Poke Eye. And plenty of Regenerations hoof.

I wonder what good wife saw in him :trollestia:

You're good at this to an ungodly degree.

Aah, a good ol' Bootstrap paradox. Nicely done :twilightsmile:

Nothing like a hilarious story involving time travel that makes so much sense. Good on ya, Aragon :moustache:

I loved this! I got such a Terry Pratchett vibe off of this, it wasn’t even funny. . . it was hilarious! :raritywink:

Comment posted by thegamerator10 deleted Sep 13th, 2018

I guess this happened.

I like that Shining's first impulse when he panics is to seduce the mare directly in front of him.

A real Father to his Men, that old Captain of the Guard.

By teenage is it understood she's eighteen or is that some sort of european thing?

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