• Member Since 2nd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen November 16th


Q(^_^Q). The friendliest misanthrope you'll ever meet.



A collection of all my one-shot stories. From the comedies for everyone, dark tragedies, to sci-fi crossovers, and featuring a dozen story prompts from friends. You'll find a great collection of my short stories from 2013 onward here.

The mature volume of my one shots is called: Kaidan's One-Shot Compendium: Mature

Featuring: a short-story on a hang-over induced septuple body-swap, A Warhammer 40k crossover, Fluttershy visits an Animal Farm, Rainbow Dash makes homemade fireworks, and more!

Each story has brief tags at the top to alert you to the content, and short tags in the title:
E, T, or M for Everyone, Teen.
Genre tagged by first two lettrs. Comedy = Co
A Sex or Gore tag, if applicable.

ex: T/Co/Sex = Teen Comedy Sex.

*Formerly 'What If'? stories. Editors attributed in the A/N by chapter.

Chapters (29)
Comments ( 165 )

Preserved Pinkie-eww. Good eww though. Here are some seedlings...

What if one of the Mane 6 was a Changeling?
What if, as you said,parasprites ate ponies?
What if Celestia regularly turned ponies into stone?
What if the Changelings won?

Thanks for the ideas, the first and fourth will take some thought but I think the 2nd is one I'd like to do next. What if Twilight's spell turned the parasprites from herbivores into carnivores? I'm also liking the 3rd, because it would be the perfect 'evil Celestia' short story if she had a stone garden full of ponies. It would be up to Luna and the mane 6 to banish her to the sun.

The caverns underneath Canterlot go deeper than anypony could have ever dreamed of, the murky and oppressive depths concealing ancient nightmares and secrets long forgotten.

Wallowing in despair at being imprisoned, Cadence's despair and misery began to arouse an ancient horror from its sleep; a candle-flame in an endless night.

When Twilight Sparkle, enraged and feeling abandoned by current events, joined her, that small flicker was replaced by a raging inferno.

And in the dark, something long forgotten stirred.

Twilight's friends were worried.

Since returning from Canterlot and her brother's wedding, she had been unusually...distant with them, preferring solitude over having company; whispered and private meetings with Cadence aside, when she now-frequently visited.

Oh, she hadn't been outright rude, even if they did miss the glances of bitterness, anger, and sometimes loathing in her eyes - just polite and vague in her dealings.

Even the Princess was concerned; her letters had become unusually clinical and to the point, lacking the warm and friendly touch they once had, and were signed simply with, "Your loyal subject, Twilight Sparkle."

Likewise, the relationship she had with her niece had also degenerated into a mockery of what it once was, though she had heard from Luna that the passion in her marriage with Shining Armour had only increased.

Hoping to discover the cause of and heal the growing rift, Celestia sent the summons; Twilight, her friends, and Cadence were to attend a 'friendly' weekend visit in the capitol.

When they arrived and were being settled in to their guest suites, Celestia and Luna quickly realized that something was terribly, terribly wrong.

Were these changelings? If not, what had Cadence and Twilight encountered during their imprisonment?

What had sway over Twilight Sparkle and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza?


TL:DR; all that negativity in the Caverns woke something up from the world's ancient past and, in return for various rewards, a bitter and angry Cadence and Twilight entered into its service.


Wow that's an impressively detailed story idea Jormungandr, I'll definitely be thinking about that at work. It will be worth a story just for the obligatory scene where somepony faces the ancient evil from the deeps and shouts "you shall not pass!"

Kidding aside, i will draw up an outline for it instead of winging it like I have done with my current short stories. It sounds worth some extra effort :pinkiehappy:

That's 6 more laughing Rainbow Dash's then my previous record! :raritystarry:

Dear Princess Celestia,

Tonight I learned all about alcohol and friendship and that when you put Rainbow Dash's hoof in warm water she pees all over the floor. I also learned that when Pinkie laughs that hard she throws up, and it tastes like cupcakes. Yeah, she vomited all over me but it was so awesome!

I also learned that Rarity always carries "emergency makeup". We drew some uh... 'colt parts' on her face and when she woke up it was a riot. We also got Fluttershy drunk and kept yelling "BOO!" at her and each time it was even funnier. Then we got Applejack and Rainbow Dash into a drinking contest, but we switched all of AJ's out with water! Pretty soon Dash was passed out cold on the floor and we took pictures of her all trussed up like a rodeo pig!

I think I threw up 3... how many times Spike? 5? WOW haha. But each time I throw up I can drink more alcohol so it's all good! We played spin the bottle, dress up, 21 gun salute, beer pong, and now we're going to play truth or dare. By the way did I ever tell you I love you? Like I just wish... we could be more then friends you know? Like me and Luna. Did I ever tell you I think Luna is prettier then you? Yes Spike, keep writing!

'Cuz Luna's mane sparkles and has stars and stuff, and your just all boring and white. And Dash says you must dye your mane 'cuz she is best pony. LOL. Maybe if you were on the moon for a thousand years you'd learn to groom yourself better :-)

No Spike, send it! SPIKE! I SAID SENT IT!

Your drunkest student, Twilight Sparkle

P.S. I am so very sorry Princess Celestia, have mercy on me. -Spike:trollestia:


My dearest Twilight Sparkle,

If I had known you were going to have that kind of party, I would have made time in my busy schedule to visit. Have you ever played truth or dare with a drunken goddess? :trollestia:

I hope when this letter appears on the front page of the Equestria Daily Newspaper, you will learn a valuable lesson about sending drunken letters at 2 in the morning. . . and friendship.

Your unamused ruler,
Princess Celestia :trollestia:

What if rainbowdash never pulled off the sonic rainboom as a filly?:rainbowderp:

2063004 I like that idea, I'll give that some thought and I think I'll write a short story about it.

Sounds about right for a 21st birthday.

You have amused me
This tale of caffeine and woe
Here have an upvote

thank you for the vote
I am glad you have enjoyed
some of my stories

Yeps sounds just like last year for me... Minus the body swap... Can't remember much bout it though...

Flippin amazing! I love WH40K. Space marine ponies FTW. I must work on a mod...

2079468 Thanks, It's my friend's favorite too. Nice to run into another WH40k fan :pinkiehappy:

"Look, Twilight." Celestia waved a hoof over the valley. "Everything the light touches will be your kingdom."
"What about that shadowy place?"

Lion King much?


Yeah, though I think the paragraph following that more than makes up for it.

Also, I'm addicted to references like that. I usually throw in an obvious one to distract people from the 2-3 subtle ones I sneak in. It's like a game, only I don't have enough readers to play it with me yet.

All of them are amazing, can't wait to see more. Also, can you put up a unscrambled version of "Typoglycemia (It will blow your mind.)"? I am sadly one of the few people unable to read it.

2114448 I hadn't thought of that, I'll post it into the story in about 30 seconds. I actually don't know what percentage of people can read it, just that it's neat when it 'works' :)

And the wiki page (linked at the start) has a nice side by side comparison. It also illustrates how if you reverse all but the first and last letter, it becomes undecipherable. So for some reason, scrambled is usually understandable, but reversed is nearly impossible to understand.

I love the brain :)

2114672 Wow that was a fast reply! Thank you!

Also, first thing I thought of at the end "Oh Twilight, Magic Kindergarten is a real place, and you will be sent there at the first sign of defiance." :D

2114823 Why do you think Twilight is such a loyal and obedient student? Threatening to send her to magic kindergarten, or to banish her, or throw her in prison, or all of the above is how Celestia keeps her on the straight and narrow. That's just basic parenting, right? Threaten the kid until they behave?

And they thought Luna was the evil one. :trollestia:

You used the term dihydrogen monoxide. And then she mixed it with potassium. Or pottysium. I was without a doubt extremely amused.

2143891 it was fun to recall a bit of college chemistry, even if all I remember is how to make aspirin, and put a hole in the ceiling :pinkiehappy:

dihydrogen monoxide oh no shes gonna kill us all... I mean that stuff is in everything dangerous from rat poison to anthrax... we are doomed

2160441 It does have a 100% mortality rate.

What if twilight turns evil and the other 5 have to turn her normal?:twilightangry2: derpy makes twi evil for accident :derpyderp2: I just dont know what went wrong!

You mgiht wnat to mkae the frist two and lsat two letrtes unhcganed. It smoe tmies wrkos a bit betetr.

2219355 I agree, that's what the actual study found most effective. If only I could convince one of the Doctors at work to do a case study on that. I would have so much fun doing the statistics for that.


This may sound somewhat creepy, but would it be possible for you to do more with this concept?

2281214 I was hoping someone would say that. I thought this idea might make a good grimdark, like the many where one of the mane 6 slowly kills/captures everypony in town. I figured I would post a short story here and see what people thought.

I could easily turn it into it's own story where that theme of her turning every pony into figurines is continued. It was quite fun to write, something about watching Applejack turn to plastic was just the right amount of creepy. :twilightsmile:


I know.
Usually I don't like stories like that, but you just managed to get enough of a Stephen King vibe to keep me interested.

2281289 I sent it to a couple editor friends for some feedback. Odds are I'll start writing it as it's own story soon. I have a bad tendency to just start a new story when I get stuck on an old one (*cough*Sanctuary.) The worst part is deciding whether I should do it right and let the editors take a week or two, or just rush chapters out to satisfy my own impatience.

Either way, now that someone has compared me to Stephen King I have to write something amazing. :pinkiehappy:

She opened her mouths several times, trying to form words to speak to her.

You wanted my opinion? This has the potential of something amazing. You could make a full story of how she's changing everyone, and make a second one of how she feels about it!
This feels a bit rushed, even if it is just a 'What-If'.

2283527 Agree on both points. My "What-if" stories are rush central. Usually that's because these ideas get stuck in my head and block all other ideas :pinkiehappy:

Well if two people say it has potential, then I shall make it so! All I need now is a motive. Why does Twilight want to turn every pony into dolls? :twilightsmile:

At first I was like CUPCAKES, but then :rainbowderp:. This is a gloriously creepy concept and it would be interesting to see it expanded into a full story. Like going into the psychology of why Twilight is recreating her world in the form of her Ponyville replica, etc. That has the potential to be more heartwrenching and sad than just 'Twilight is randomly a psychopath'. Maybe she loses someone she's close to, sinks into PTSD and wants to create a world where ponies never leave? Potential! :heart:

This is the kind of thing I want to see someone make a picture for
Seriously this concept way underused


Hrm.... That reminds me a lot of Yogg Saron (Old God) and his influence on many NPC's in the events of Wrath of the Lich King.

Interesting premise though.


The Stallion Who Mounts The Elements?
Sounds like something from A Game of Thrones.

2 hydrogens...1 oxygen...wait a minute, isn't that stuff just water?

homemade fireworks for dummies

"Look, Twilight." Celestia waved a hoof over the valley. "Everything the light touches will be your kingdom."
"What about that shadowy place?"

Celestia facehoofed.

My brain
Is full
Of fluff.

Omigosh. Bare with me here.
What if.
All of the ponies.
Were, like Disney princesses.
That would make a legit comedy.

That was my favorite one to write. It's tied with Body Swap for favorite to read... I mean, that ending! I loved every second of it.

Also, all mane six as disney princesses? Not sure how that would work. (humanized or pony? Like sitcom comedy?) Though I did get a nice idea involving them and the carasoul ride earlier.

:yay: hey discord I thought you were a monster

Wha... Where... Where is the counter? Where is it? WHERE IS THE F****** COUNTER? WHAT IS THIS STORY WITH NO COUNTER!?!?

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