The mane six devise a clever plan to steal cookies from the royal cookie jar.
{Everyone} {Comedy} {Slice of Life}
“Please, Twilight! We have to!” Pinkie pleaded. She fell to her stomach on the large purple throw pillow. The Elements of Harmony had been given a private suite at the castle for the upcoming Gala.
“Pinkie, how would we even sneak past all the cooks and guards?” Dash asked. “The royal cookie jar is too well guarded.”
“Yeah, listen to Dash. Everypony knows only Celestia and Luna may eat the royal cookies.”
“But the legend says they used magic so the jar never runs out of cookies!” Pinkie shouted, throwing her hooves in the air.
“They also say they remain as fresh as the day they were baked,” Fluttershy added. “At least, that’s what a little birdie told me.”
“Ah reckon it’s too foolish to try, but ah had a half-cousin once that claims he had one. Said he never tasted a cookie as good as it the rest of his life,” Applejack said.
“And what happened to this lovely cousin of yours?” Rarity inquired.
“Oh, Celestia caught her with a hoof in the cookie jar. She’s the royal court jester now.”
“Really?” Pinkie’s eyes lit up. “Silly Filly, the court jester, is your cousin?”
“Well, her name was Pink Lady before she got caught. Celestia doesn’t like ponies stealing her cookies.”
“I would really like to try one. . . if that’s okay with you. Surely Twilight could get some,” Fluttershy stated.
“Yeah! And Celestia loves us, we’re the Elements of Harmony! I bet even if she caught us she’d be totally cool about it,” Pinkie said.
“Well the only way we’d get by unnoticed is if we shrunk ourselves and snuck in. Even then, it’d turn a simple walk across the kitchen into an epic odyssey. I’m not sure any pony wants to go through that,” Twilight explained.
“I do!” Pinkie and Fluttershy said.
“Wait, you’re not seriously considering this, Twilight? A lady does not simply walk into the royal kitchen and steal cookies,” Rarity countered.
“Well, I am a princess now, and Celestia did once make me watch her eat a dozen of the royal cookies. She said it was punishment for not finishing all of my kale and squash casserole,” Twilight responded.
“Well, I am the fastest pony in Equestria. I bet we could steal them easy!”
“Ah ‘spose y’all are goin’ with or without me and Rares, so we might as well help ya out.” Applejack extended her hoof in front of the other ponies, who stuck theirs in as well.
“One, two, three, Elements of Harmony Cookie Raiders, yay!” they all shouted.
“Wow, that was odd,” Pinkie said. “We didn’t even rehearse! We’re gonna be the best cookie thieves in Equestria!”
“What would a cookie thieving cutie mark even look like?” Rarity asked.
“A smiley face from how tasty they are!”
“Quit arguin’ and let’s goin’, girls,” Applejack said.
Six tiny ponies hid behind a vase next to the royal kitchen. It was exceptionally busy, but Twilight’s spell was only good for an hour. They had to go in and get the cookies now.
Each of them was a few inches tall, and retained their wings, but the magic of Twilight and Rarity had been weakened to basic levitation. Fluttershy and Dash would have to act as the spotters, and keep any prying eyes away from the slower members.
“Alright, the waiter should be returning soon. Yep, here he comes. Follow him in on three. Pinkie, Rarity, and Applejack, you’ll need to go to the left where the eggs are stored. Be careful not to step on any,” Twilight explained.
“Roger!” Pinkie answered.
“Fluttershy, you’ll need to use the stare to control any ponies that notice as they go in. We’ll need Rarity to use her levitation magic to shield her party from any falling or loose objects.”
“You can, um. . . probably count on me,” Fluttershy said.
“I’m going to run in and shout, drawing all their attention to the right. I’m going to use my magic to shield myself, and Dash will make sure I don’t run out of energy.”
“. . .” Dash continued to stare blankly at the wall.
“Pinkie, what are our odds of reaching the cookie jar undetected?” Twilight asked.
“Thirty three point three three percent, repeating of course,” Pinkie replied.
“Alright, I’ve buffed us with magic and as soon as Dash gets back—”
“Raaaaiiiiiinnnnnnbboooooooooooooooow Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssshh!!!!” Dash shouted.
Before anyone could react, she flew at full speed through the door behind the waiter. It was closing rapidly.
“Did she—Dash just ran in!” Rarity shouted.
“Go, go, go! Stick to the plan! Stick to the plan!” Twilight yelled. All five of them scrambled into the kitchen, tripping on the door jam. Instead of splitting up, they found themselves dashing behind the nearby sink. A long flexible hose ran from the faucet to the floor, and they scrambled to climb up it.
Fluttershy had flown to the top while the others climbed. They made it up and hid behind a pot, looking around while they caught their breath.
“I don’t see Dashie!” Pinkie said.
“Where’s the royal cookie jar?” Rarity asked.
“This is bad, this is bad! I’m out of mana and can’t cast a spell to locate her,” Twilight cried.
“And there are chefs everywhere! There’s too many of them,” Pinkie stated.
There was a loud crash, and they saw a chef swinging at something in the air.
“Stupid fly!” he shouted.
“Oh no, they think Dashie is a fly!” Pinkie began to twitch nervously. “Oh, this is gonna be a doozy of a day!”
“Look, she made it.” Applejack pointed to the royal cookie jar, which Dash had dove inside. “We just need to make it over to join her.”
The pot suddenly moved, bumping all the ponies backward. Twilight fell backward into the sink, only to land in a levitating clump of spaghetti being rinsed off. She looked up at the unicorn straining the pasta and saw her distracted by her cell phone.
“So then I said oh no you didn’t! And she had the nerve—the nerve!” the unicorn said.
“Bah, I need to get out!” Twilight shouted. “Hey, I’m not spaghetti! There’s been a mistake!”
As the spaghetti was rinsed it was swirled around, and Twilight felt herself being sucked down inside it. The damp, sticky pasty covered her until she could barely keep her nose above it to breathe.
Fluttershy was in a panic, and had backed up so far that she reached the large oven and stove. When she stepped off the ledge of the table, she fell down and screamed until something soft and warm stopped her fall.
She could taste chocolate and poked around, her head finally surfacing. Fluttershy rubbed the molten chocolate out of her eyes, grateful it wasn’t actually as hot as lava. She had landed in some sort of soufflé or chocolate molten cake. All she knew was it would take forever to get out of her hair extensions.
An earth pony came over and scooped the bowls onto a tray. He didn’t even see Fluttershy due to her chocolate-stained mane. Fluttershy didn’t notice him, due to indulging on as much of the chocolatey goodness as she could.
Applejack and Rarity had made a quick decision. Rarity went after Fluttershy, while Applejack would go after Pinkie. The instant Pinkie had seen a tray of cupcakes go by, she’d sprinted off after them.
Applejack lost sight of her and had to hitch a ride on a sliding dolly that was carrying dishes full of food. By the time she got to the bakers area, flour was being thrown up in every direction by the cooks.
She began to cough and struggle to see through the dense fog. Applejack had wandered onto their table where they rolled dough flat. A large roller nearly crushed her as she jumped out of the way. Caked in flour, she blended right in and went unnoticed in the busy kitchen.
When she reached the end of this table her hoof slipped in the flour and she fell down onto a rack full of shelves. Each shelf had two apple pies cooling on it, and Applejack landed right in the vent cut into the crust.
With a wet plop she vanished into the pie, and was surprised to find the crust was just a little too tough to break her way back out. Her slimey, slick fur should have made it easier to slide through, yet she couldn’t get a grip on the crust because of it.
Rarity had lost sight of Fluttershy. She had a tough choice to make. Only a few feet away was the cookie jar. She could see Dash peek her head out occasionally, mouth full of cookie. Or, she could jump into the apron of the waiter and hope he was headed to the same dining hall as Fluttershy.
With a sigh, Rarity prepared to jump into the pocket of a passing waiter and find her friend.
“There it is!” a pony said. Rarity froze in fear that she had been discovered. Sure enough, a unicorn levitated her into the air and placed her down on the top of a large three layer cake.
Rarity risked a glance to her side and saw stallion in a tuxedo resembling Blue Blood. Fighting the urge to knock him off the top of the cake, she managed to stay still.
“Good, now you won’t fall off again.”
“Huh?” Rarity looked at the unicorn wondering what he had meant. She then tried to step off the top of the cake, only to realize her hooves had been glued to the decorative gazebo on the top of the cake.
Great, I’m glued onto a fancy cake. She looked at the clock and saw only fifteen minutes remained until the spell wore off. Alright, I just stay still for fifteen minutes, turn into a normal-sized pony, and crawl into a hole and die. This is so embarrassing!
“Tia, it was horrible!” Luna said.
“Ahuh,” Celestia replied. She took a bite of her spaghetti as she listened to her sister complain.
“All night long, all the court did was bicker over the budget bill! The Mustang party wanted the new railroad track to go to Dodge Junction and then to the Crystal Empire. The Donkey party wanted the new railroad track to go to the Crystal Empire and then to Dodge junction!”
“Yes, Lulu,” she responded. Celestia nibbled on a slice of cake. In front of her was a royal banquet fit for the increased metabolism of the Princess of the day and night.
“I told them that the railroad track had nothing to do with the budget! We’re in debt to Griffonia! We’re spending ten times more than we take in taxes! They’re destroying our nation, Tia!”
“Calm down, Luna. You forget this is a hierarchy, and it is for this reason. The squabbling politicians can’t get anything done.”
Luna huffed and took a bite out of a cupcake on her plate. She began to choke and cough, pounding against her throat until she swallowed the cupcake.
“You alright, Lulu?”
“Yes—there was something fuzzy in my cupcake, and I accidently swallowed it.”
Celestia sighed. “I’ll talk to the chef, if they let another rat in the kitchen I’ll have the whole staff fired.” She twirled the spaghetti around her fork and lifted it up to her mouth.
“Princess, don’t eat me!” Twilight shouted.
“Huh?” She looked down and saw Twilight tied to the fork by the spaghetti, and covered in tomato sauce. “What the—Twilight, how did you get in my pasta?”
“It’s a long story, involving a, uh—science experiment! But we need to recall all the food, my friends are in it!”
“What do you mea—”
There was a loud crash as Rarity reverted to normal size, quickly weighing enough to demolish the large cake. She rolled over and fell to the ground, covered in icing.
A table buckled under the weight of Fluttershy and collapsed. She had eaten the entire desert she had been swimming in, and her full tummy had expanded with her. She looked like she was about to birth several foals.
“It’s okay, Celestia, the spell is reversing!” Twilight explained. “We’re reverting to normal size, please set me down!”
Celestia put her fork down for lack of any better ideas. At the same time, Luna began to groan. “Oh, I don’t feel so good.” Luna’s stomach began to bulge out and wiggle. It appeared that something inside her was kicking around.
“Oh dear,” Celestia said. “I think you ate one of the elements, Lulu.”
“I feel so full! Quickly, teleport them out.”
“I will, but first, what were you really doing shrinking them and in our kitchen? Were you after the royal cookie jar?” Celestia asked.
Twilight looked to her left and saw the cookie car with the lid on it sitting on the table. She sighed, at least nopony had made it to the cookie jar. “No, Celestia, we weren’t trying to steal your cookies!”
Twilight turned to face her mentor when she heard something cracking. She winced and looked back at the cookie jar, which was vibrating and looked ready to shatter. The lid fell off and a tuft of rainbow mane popped out.
“Buck,” Twilight said.
A second later, Dash hit full size and shattered the vase. The uncontained cookie spell caused a geyser of delicious, moist cookies to erupt and start flooding the room. Twilight, as the last to shrink, reverted to her normal size. Covered in sauce, she stood up and shook her hair, flinging tomato sauce everywhere.
There was a wave of magic and a loud pop, and Celestia teleported the six Elements of Harmony and herself onto a castle balcony. They shrank back from the gaze of their ruler.
“I’m very disappointed in you girls. You broke my rules, and tried to eat of the royal cookies! You also ruined that cookie jar, which has been in the Celestia family line for generations!”
Twilight began to sob and look at the floor.
“But I’m not mad at you,” Celestia said.
“What?” Twilight looked up to be sure she heard correctly.
“Yes, if anypony wants some royal cookies they need only ask. They do infinitely replicate after all, so I can never run out. At least, they did until you shattered the jar. I’ll have to recast the magic.”
“So you don’t give horrible punishment to ponies that eat the cookies, like Silly Filly the court jester?” Twilight inquired.
“Silly? She’s a traveling minstrel! She isn’t under some punishment. You six however, did still destroy a priceless magical artifact.”
Twilight gulped.
“As punishment, I will be recasting your shrinking spell. I will set it to last for one week. You will spend that week in the royal daycare, playing with the fillies, colts, and foals of the castle staff.”
“Yay!” Pinkie shouted.
“Wait, you can’t be serious?” Rarity asked.
“Princess, why?!” Twilight said.
“Hush, I’m letting you off easy. You’ll be shrunk for a week with nothing to eat but royal cookies. We’ll see if you still have a taste for them after that.” Celestia laughed and smiled widely as her horn began to glow.