//------------------------------// // 26. An Unfortunate Swap :: E/Sa // Story: Kaidan's Short Stories: Vol. 1 - Teen // by Kaidan //------------------------------// A human stranded in Equestria has one last chance to prove his innocence and escape. {Everyone}{Comedy}{HiE} Kaidan crawled through the bushes of the park, his target in sight. He had woken up as Twilight Sparkle, and things had taken a turn for the worse. First he had panicked and caused a small fire in the library that turned into a big fire. To be fair, he was not used to having control of a magical superweapon that show canon often wrote off as a simple “horn.” Next, he had decided it was all just a dream, and decided to fly around for a bit until he woke up. All of the ponies were running away from the fire and few paid him any notice. After all, he looked like Twilight. Only a single pony seemed to chase after him as he fled from the fire. It was a tan Earth pony he recognized from the show as Bon-Bon. Surely she wanted to punish him for starting a fire or some nonsense. That was two days ago. When he had tried to tell Rainbow Dash what had happened, she accused him of being a changeling. Dash had nearly succeeded in dragging her off to see her friends, whom Dash said would use the Elements to fix everything. He had been so frightened that his magic activated without warning, teleporting him into the Everfree. The nearest he had gotten to anypony since then was when he tried talking to Fluttershy. Her response was to pass out—go figure. When she awoke with the “imposter Twilight” still sitting there, staring, she flew off before he could explain. So as he laid in the mud, scraped by the bushes and his mane knotted up with twigs in it, he had one chance left. Princess Celestia. She had come with her royal guard and the whole town had gone out searching for Twilight, changelings, or anything else out of the ordinary. It had taken a cardboard box and all his sneaking skills to make it into town undetected. Now he could explain, surely Celestia would understand. Kaidan jumped out of the bushes. “Princess Celestia, you have to help me!” Celestia turned and gasped, before hoisting him into the air with her magic. “You! Where is the real Twilight?” “This is all a misunderstanding. Please! I don’t know how I got here!” he pleaded. “I can’t control my magic and it started a fire, then Dash got mad and—” “Silence! Spike, the one being that might have witnessed what really happened, is in a coma from the fire. How convenient that the only one who could back up your claims is in the hospital.” He struggled uselessly against her magic. “No! I didn’t mean to hurt Spike, it was an accident. I can’t control it!” He felt magic starting to surge through his body as he panicked. The purple horn began to glow and weaken Celestia’s magic, almost to the point of freeing himself. Celestia slammed some sort of ring device onto the horn, causing the magic to get bottled up. With no place to go, the spell fed back into his brain, causing a great deal of pain. “Guards!” “Gah, stop, it hurts!” he shouted. “Yes, Princess?” a guard said. “If she tries to run when I set her down, stop her,” she ordered. Kaidan was sat on the ground as Celestia probed him with her magic. He stayed frozen in fear. This wasn’t going anything like the T.V. show led him to believe. “Well, you’re not a changeling, but you are still an alien, and have stolen the body of my prized pupil,” Celestia stated. “No! I didn’t steal it, I was put here! Please, everything that’s happened has been an accident! You’re not supposed to be this mean in the cartoon!” “Cartoon?” she asked. “Yes! I’m a human and I watched this show every week! I was just in bed with my stuffed doll of Twilight and I woke up and I was Twilight!” Celestia frowned and he felt cold iron clasp his legs above the hooves. Kaidan stumbled back in fear, but the chains only allowed him to step a few inches in any direction at a time. “My pupil Twilight will be rescued. It would seem you have taken over her body or driven her insane. You will speak no further ill against her or me.” Kaidan went to scream as a muzzle was fastened to his face and tightened harshly, cutting off all noise. “Mmph mmmph!” “Perhaps a month in the dungeons of Canterlot will loosen your tongue. Guards, take this thing away. See to it a solitary cell is provided, and it is to be fed three times a day but otherwise kept muzzled and in the dark for a month. It will confess what it has done to my prized pupil.” Hooves lifted up Kaidan and carried him away. He struggled, but he was trapped in the messy and powerless body of Twilight Sparkle. Meanwhile on Earth. . . “Wow, Lyra, you’re right! This is the most incredible thing ever,” Twilight said. Lyra stood on her feet, a stunningly gorgeous five-foot-seven brunette with an ample bosom. “Yep! Fingers, toes, shiny noses! The whole shebang.” “I still can’t believe you discovered this magic. No wonder you always talk about humans.” “And that’s not even the best part!” Twilight looked down at the body she had borrowed. Who ever owned it, she had traded places with them and was now a middle-aged man with a beer belly. “What’s better than opposable thumbs?” “Merchandising!” Lyra shouted. She pulled out a Twilight Sparkle plushie she had been hiding. “I sold the rights to our lives and made a fortune! I found this totally awesome human and we have a timeshare. I get her body every other weekend and one week a year!” “Wow, you’re really quite an act. So, what should we do until the spell reverses in three days?” Lyra smiled. “I’ve always wanted to try sex with a human.” Twilight blushed. “I, uh. . . I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” “Come on, they aren’t our bodies! They’ll never know!” “Wait, so right now some human is parading around Ponyville as me? This is bad!” “Don’t worry, I sent Bon-Bon to explain things and restrain you—if necessary, at the library.” “Whew, for a second there I thought there would be repercussions to my hasty decision to visit Earth,” Twilight stated. “Hah! What’s the worst that can happen? Celestia banishes you to the moon or locks you in a dark, creepy dungeon?” Lyra laughed and began taking off her clothing. “What—why are you doing that? You look. . . wonderful.” “Come on, we’ve got three days to have fun before it’s back to that stuffy, old library!”