{teen}{comedy}{random}
“Lyra! Come on, we don’t have all night! The gala is in 45 minutes and you signed up to perform!” Bon Bon shouted.
“Just a minute, I’m almost done!” Lyra said.
“That’s what you said two hours ago!” she retorted.
Lyra continued to type away on the keyboard using her magic. Glowing mint green astral hands flowed over the keyboard, her magic typing at break neck speeds.
Lol, Lyra495, dunt be a newb, they’re is no such thung ask humans!
First off, HungLikeAStallion_69, your name, and your argument are an insult to all of Ponydom. Instead of responding to the clearly linked scholarly articles on humans you igno—
“Lyra!” Bon Bon shouted, pulling the plug on the computer.
“NO!” Lyra screamed in her ear, illiciting a painful squeal from her. “HE WAS WRONG! I had to prove him wrong! He’s ruining everything!”
Bon Bon sighed, speaking with the tone of voice one would use with a petulant filly. “Lyra, it’s the internet. You’re arguing with a talking head, an anonymous pony you’ll never meet, over something entirely inconsequential!”
“That’s not true Bon Bon! First off, your name is stupid and your argument is invalid! Instead of addressing my point, you insult me to distract the reader!”
“What bucking reader, Lyra? This is real life!” Bon Bon quickly slaps Lyra on the cheek. “Get ahold of yourself, Mare!”
Lyra bites back a tear and rubs her cheek. “You. . . hit me. But. . . nopony on the internet hits me. . .”
“That’s because you’re acting irrational! Just ignore whats-his-face, he’s not important, this,” she gestured to the powered-off computer, “is not important!”
Lyra began to sob. “B-but he. . . he m-mocked me on my favorite h-human fiction w-website. H-he hurt my f-feelings.”
Bon Bon hugged the mint green mare tightly. “My golden Lyra, it’s okay. It’s just a meanie on the internet. You know I love you, everypony in Ponyville thinks you’re great.”
“B-but T-twilight still s-said. . . h-humans aren’t real. . .”
“Lyra,” she lifted her chin to face her eyes. “Twilight may disagree with you, but she is a real friend, not some pony on the internet. She respects you, loves you, she doesn’t call you names to make you feel like a bad pony. Why would you want to do that back to some troll on the internet?”
“S-so t-they stop m-making f-fun of me. . .”
“Oh, Lyra, come here.” Bon Bon hugged her again and glanced at the clock. The gala began in 15 minutes, barely enough time to get to the castle on time. She patted Lyra on the back.
“Thank you,” Lyra finally said with a sniffle. “I feel better. . .”
“Good, because the Gala is beginning. Are you gonna let this go for me?”
“Y-yes.”
Bon Bon planted a light kiss on her forehead.
The gala had gone excellently. Despite being a background pony, Lyra’s music was exceptional. Whether or not the snooty nobles cared, Lyra knew her Bonnie was in the cloud just to hear her play the lyre.
Lyra headed over for punch during the intermission. “Hey, Berry.”
“Hey, Lyra. It’s lovely to see you here,” Berry said.
“Likewise, how is your vineyard?”
Berry smiled. “We’re now shipping wine to over four countries. Most recently, the Minotaurs began ordering a special vintage of Merlot. They even sent some of their white grapes so I can try creating some new wines.”
“That’s wonderful! I can’t wait for your next wine tasting,” Lyra said.
“I’d love to see you there. Just remember to keep Pinkie away from the wine caskets.”
The two mares laughed at the party pony, who like Vinyl, knew exactly how to party when alcohol was involved.
“I still can’t believe Pinkie made fun of you at the last party, Berry. I would have drank all the punch straight from the bowl too if you hadn’t beat me to it!”
Berry chuckled. “Yeah, I don’t know how she makes such damn-fine non-alcoholic fruit punch. It was funny having the pot call the kettle black though. . . at least, when she is sober she knows I only drink socially.”
Lyra chuckled, hearing a small chime from on stage. “Well, almost time for me to get back to work, see you later.”
Lyra turned around and bumped into a large white unicorn. She immediately recognized him as Blue Blood, and her smile soured.
“Oh, dear, what a lovely unicorn. Tell me, which noble family are you from?” Blue Blood asked.
“Not interested,” Lyra said. She nearly choked on the odor of bourbon on his breath.
“Now, now. Surely you want to hear my proposition to unite our noble houses in matra. . . in marr. . . in sex.”
“Nope.”
Blue Blood stuck his hoof out, blocking her path. “Aww, come on! Won’t you even tell me a little about yourself, sexy?”
Lyra bit back a cruel retort, instead opting for a more peaceful was to de-escalate the situation. “I’m Lyra, I’m a commoner from Ponyville and I play the Lyre. I’m renting a two-star motel to play at the Gala this year. I broke the motel lobby computer arguing over human fiction on my favorite websites. I enjoy long walks on the beach, and stallions with a shred of self-respect.”
She stuck her tongue out, and started to walk around him. “Lyra, I too am a fan of the um. . . human fiction! Why don’t we go back to my room and use my uh. . . computer to talk about it!”
Blue Blood was being a little too obnoxious for Lyra’s tastes. “Okay then, prove it! What’s your name?” she asked.
“HungLikeAStall—”
“Thou did well not to invite the elements, Tia,” Luna whispered.
Celestia sighed. “Don’t remind me. The gala is so much better with them here to cause a little chaos. I might have to reform Discord if I have to sit through one more boring gala.”
Luna chuckled. “We wish to see Discord arrange a gala. Do not fret, dear sister, perhaps Blue Blood will once again ‘cause a little chaos’ for us to enjoy.”
Celestia’s eyes scanned the crowd, landing on Blue Blood. Her Nephew was. . . special. . . She scowled quietly, so only Luna could hear it. “You’re right, looks like he is going to offer us a reprieve.”
Luna turned to face Blud Blood just in time. He said something to a minty green unicorn. Less than half a second later, she had grabbed his front leg and flung him over her shoulder onto the buffet table.
Blue Blood landed on the punchbowl, shattering it. A second later, the table gave beneath his weight, spilling more food, drinks, and two large ice sculptures of the royal princesses onto him.
Celestia and Luna couldn’t hide their laughter from the noble ponies. It was far too loud and unbecoming of royalty. Neither cared.
They watched the unicorn, a tan mare, and the lyre leave the building.
Celestia smiled. “At least the lyrist knows how to love and tolerate”