• Member Since 19th Mar, 2012
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Aragon


Quoth the raven: "CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW" (Patreon)

E
Source

The School of Friendship is burning down.

Happy holidays.


Written for GaPJaxie as part of the Jinglemas 2018 event. Edited by MrNumbers, Pearple Prose, Undome Tinwe, and R5h


Patreon. Ko-fi. Picture of me looking handsome

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 55 )

Yeah no for real, that's how I'm going to do all shout-outs from now on. Fuck it. I refuse to sell out without at least fucking it up slightly. THIS IS THE ARAGÓN WAY, BABY. YEEEEE.

Story-wise -- I had a lot of fun! I love the Young Six, though I had to sorta marathon s8 on a time limit to learn enough about them to write this. Jinglemas had a deadline and so on, right? What an adventure.

Happy holidays and yaddah yaddah have fun hope you liked it.

AHAH IT'S HERE.

I am for the thousandth time today wishing I'd not been an idiot and actually saved my comments on the collab post, but I can say some things regardless: this is great, you're great, happy new year and try not to burn down any more schools.

9375530
You marathoned the necessary episodes, which turned out to be three of them after you saw the first three s8 eps and went "Okay, let's compress this down a bit to the important stuff."

“Dunno. How do dragons deal with teenage rebellion?”

“We cheer for the teenagers and then urge them to defeat their parents in single combat.”

"Even when their parents are big enough to swallow them in a single bite?"
"What can I say? Dragons love a good underdog."
"Even when they're obviously going to lose?"
"Especially then. It's hilarious."

Twilight blinked. “Pinkie, that’s not a punishment. That’s just enslaving our students.”

Community service in a nutshell.

“Hi there, Sunny Strawberry! Do you want an apple fritter like always?”

“Mummy says you have to keep it a secret or else we’ll bring shame to our family! Also, yeah!”

I get the feeling this line is going to fly under a lot of people's radar and not get the appreciation it deserves, hence why I'm quoting it.

Magnificent work all around. Hilariously terrible in the best way possible, and infernally heartwarming. Thank you for it.

9375595
After marathoning seasons 6 and 7! Average of like, what, 5 episodes a day or so for god knows how long while on a time limit? I didn't finish s8, though, you're right in that. Edited the comment slightly so I don't imply that anymore. I ain't a LIAR.

(For the ones wondering how the fuck did Norm know this -- I made a room in the Discord server I moderate named 'Aragón Watches Shit' (then renamed by the other, more responsible mods, as 'the theatre), and I just watched everything live in there. Meaning: I watched it, and commented as I was watching it, because it helps me concentrate. It was like a zoo but there was only one animal and it was me.)

9375607
It was like a textual "Brony reacts", which can sometimes be funnier in text than in real life. Because, you know, it's Aragon.

The irreverence with which this story treats itself is as delicate and exquisite as Smolder's croissants. I imagine you sprinkling it over this story, like, just salt baeing all over it.

*kisses fingertips* Magnifique.

Bloody fantastic. Full of the festive spirit. Or some sort of spirit, at any rate.

Damn, though. Nigh-on everything here was lovely, especially the blethering between the students, and the all-consuming terror of the Fires of Friendship. A quality Jinglemas piece and then some.

9375607
This has been the best "making of" a story I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing, and the final product was even better. Totally worth making you marathon 2.5 seasons.

Also, thank you for providing more study material for getting a handle on the voicing of the Student Six. It's going to be a valuable resource.

P.S. the baby isn't mine. Majin is just that good.

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver

9375688
‘Tis both a blessing and a curse.

Oh man, this was genius. 'Too much of a good thing' in story form.

9375607 I forced myself to finish Season 8. It hurt. A lot.

9375730
I'm calling it now that if people start a fucking flamewar on if season 8 was good or not for this comment I will start blocking people because yeah no hahah nope no out with that not having it oh no.

So to finish this before it even starts: I like season eight a lot! At least from what I've seen. I had a lot of fun watching it. Some people did not like it, and did not have any fun watching it, though.

That is perfectly fine and understandable since we're all people with different tastes and we expect different things from the show and we have a different philosophy when it comes to what's good or not.

And I don't give a shit if you liked it or not, random reader looking at this comment. I super respect your opinion and understand that it can get annoying to see someone boisterously defending something you directly oppose, especially when it comes to art? But if you want to discuss if s8 has artistic merit or not, do it in a platform that doesn't fucking notify me every time you post your opinion.

Fucking end of s4 turned one of my stories into a micro flame war and I had to end up blocking people. I'm not going through that again. Cutting that before it even starts -- we're all adults and I call to our rational minds to stop pointless arguments over the internet regarding the subjective quality of cartoon horse shows and oh who am I kidding I'm gonna get PMs telling me to go stuff my ass with gasoline and swallow a lighter in like, Thirty seconds. Aren't I.

9375744
But my opinion about the thing is special! What is everyone supposed to do if they don't about what I think about the thing?

Comment posted by Alondro deleted Dec 30th, 2018

9375884
I mean, great rant that has nothing to do with anything I said. The nature of criticism is something absolutely fascinating to talk about; so is the nature of going completely fucking off-topic immediately in a comment section.

So like yeah, deleting this. Comments about the story or whatever is related to it are welcome (talk about how my toes are shaped like genitals! That's slightly related to the story in how it shaped my youthful mind and my artistic vision of the world), but just coming here going 'HEY HO FUCK SEASON EIGHT' and then waxing poetic about how intellectually rewarding it is to discuss the writing of a show you like is -- I'm sure it can be fun? But it's still not what this comment section is about, and it's absolutely fucking annoying for me, notification-wise.

So, yeah, deleting this.

“I mean, the invite is nice, but I don’t know how to breathe underwater, Silverstream.”

Pretty sure her magic pearl necklace can sort that out easy-peasy. I mean, if it works on dragons and ponies just as well as hippogriffs, why not griffons too?

I spent pretty much two-thirds of the story trying to figure out if there was some kind of point or moral to all of this. I thought there might have been there towards the end, but then Twilight was pretty insistent there wasn't at the close, so now I'm not so sure. :raritywink:

Not that I care either way anyway, because this was a fun read from start to finish. 10/10, would totally read again. :pinkiehappy:

This was already pretty amusing, but this

“Griffon shut up. Yona wants grandchildren.”

...was the thing that made me actually have to push my chair back and go, "Nope. I'm done. I'm so done. This one broke me and I'm... I'm done. I'm done."


...Nice job, you insane bastard.
FLASH!
Aw, s:yay:t.

9376126
Congratulations, you somehow just set the website on fire.

What a rollercoaster ride! You’d think that a Fire of Friendship would be a safety issue at a Friendship school - guess OSHA hasn’t visited in a while.

9375598
Story was filled with little bits like the Strawberry scene. Incredible.

9376275
Aw maaaan, not again! Knighty's gonna be so mad...

9376409
You should probably consider hiding.

“Is it?” Gallus was a cool dude: he sat while resting his elbow on the back of his chair. “I wouldn’t want to fight Headmare Twilight in single combat.”

“Yona would!” Yona smashed the table and made everybody flinch, a huge happy grin on her face. “Yona likes Headmare Sparkle, but Yona knows together we could probably smash her!”

“Gallus and Smolder are impossible when they get together, and they influence the others, so… Maybe if we defeated them in single combat…?”

That strongly reminds me of my first year in the university: physics was taught by professor who got extremely snippy about students doing their business during his lectures and his favourite threat was exactly that any disagreement with him can be resolved in a single combat. So, it's officially used education method, I guess :rainbowlaugh:

Oh no. We started a fire.



Let's leave and not tell anyone.

Except our friends, as a humorous anecdote.

Not enough of this comments section has been spent talking about how handsome Aragon is and I think that's really disappointing to be quite honest

This is so fucking good

It's really funny and the banter is on point and the emotional base that is integral to a meaningful comedy story is there. I love that the whole School of Friendship fits in perfect with the themes of the story.

Dude, this is great. I genuinely love this.

Set

Gallus nodded. “Right. That’s even more of a crime if anything. The fighting Twilight, not the smashing, which is a completely different topic altogether. And I think that’s all we were talking about?” Nobody else said anything, so he nodded again, and looked at Silverstream, smirk on his face. “That’s all we were talking about. You’re welcome.”

Did you imply what I think you were implying?

Set

This is probably the best Hearths Warming story on this site and it is so underrated. I had a great laugh from this and it felt so much like a real episode, that I really wish it were.

And everybody, in the distance or not, stood there, smiling. And nobody said it, but they were all thinking the same:

Happy Hearth’s Warming Eve.

And may you all have a wonderful new year.

FLASH!

And the school burst back into flames.

<Sir_David_Attenborough_Voice>

“And so began the Firestorm of Friendship of 1011 ANM. Prevailing sentiments of the holiday season quickly fanned the flames towards the nearby community of Ponyville and the Castle of Friendship, both of which instantly ignited like so much flash paper. Residents evacuated to the (relative) safety of the nearby Everfree Forest, but it was only through the deliberate separation of ponies into small, acrimonious groups to form a firebreak that the forest itself did little more than smolder at the edges. But as terrible as the conflagration was, the worst was yet to come as the flames reached the Ponyville station of the Friendship Express Railroad. The wooden ties of the railroad track became a fuse, rapidly spreading the blaze across the length and breadth of Equestria—and beyond.

“Canterlot was the next to fall, for despite all the discord sown by conflicts between the nobility and general populace, the city had been the seat of a harmonious nation for centuries. Those who could not immediately flee the city for the surrounding mountainous terrain found some refuge in the city’s diplomatic quarter, where a violently escalating trade dispute between the Griffons and the Yaks offered a degree of thermal—if not necessarily physical—protection. The Castle, however, was a total loss, the great gilded marble and basalt edifice being no proof against an inferno fed by centuries of Princess Celestia’s love for her little ponies.

“The smaller communities suffered the most; like Ponyville, Appleloosa, Dodge Junction, and Hollow Shades swiftly burned to the ground. Las Pegasus and Van Hoofer were heavily damaged, though the former’s casinos remarkably were left untouched. Manehatten fire fighters fought valiantly, and after their friendly rivalry with the police department turned ugly, succeeded in limiting the worst of the damage to Grand Central Stable, the Statue of Harmony, and Rock Feller Plaza. Only Cloudsdale and Griffondale were completely spared: the former due to its fortuitous air gap and severe lack of flammable materials, the latter owing to the Blue Moon Festival occurring at that time.

“Thaumaturgists to this day debate the consequences were the firestorm to have reached the Crystal Empire and its Crystal Heart. Only the quick thinking of Princess Twilight Sparkle—at that point bunkered down beneath the ruins of the Castle of Two Sisters to protect the Tree of Harmony—to notify Princess Mi Amoré Cadenza after the Friendship Express track ties touched off prevented what otherwise could have been a global catastrophe. Upon receiving Princess Twilight Sparkle’s emergency missive, Princess Cadenza and her husband, Prince Shining Armor, immediately had the track and ties leading to the Empire torn up by a contingent of angry Yaks which then remained positioned across the track bed. They also induced their infant daughter, Princess Flurry Heart, into a temper tantrum as an additional, if questionable, measure of security.”

</Sir_David_Attenborough_Voice>

Never the Final Word…

This was glorious, and I am left wishing I could have more.

This is every kind of glorious all at once. Merry Christmas, you beautiful mad genius.

i noticed at the last possible moment that when the fire died downed flash was spelled backwards, this was absolutely glorious!

9375530
Absolutely crazy, I adore your wonderfully insane and creative mind.

And that was the origin of Ponyville Fried Chicken

You are seriously good at dialogue, dude. You've got that comedic touch that's just perfect. Got a few real laughs out of this one. I hope you do more of this style of humor, even if it's different characters

Kinda surprised this doesn’t happen more often. Also that the founders survived dealing with something that volatile.

I read this while high on acid. That was a trip.

This story is the Best Worst Thing, or possibly the Worst Best Thing. You rock, Aragon.

My favourite Young Six character is Sandbag. His special talent is flood-proofing ponies' houses.

Right after reading this, my phone lit up with:

Tinder is on fire!
Swipe now for your chance to meet new people...

which I found oddly appropriate.

“And we’re skipping class! Wooo! Wooohooo!”

It's amazing that I knew exactly who this was right away! I've honestly never given much thought to the Young6 but you nailed their voices and personalities! I haven't seen them used much in stories but this definitely has me wanting more. Thank you for this!

9375530
Never change, you wonderful Spaniard.

This is the funniest fic I have ever read and the author's note is somehow just as funny. ARE YOU EVEN HUMAN

You've gotten this a lot, but I just have to say that this is perfect or at least as close to perfect as anyone can get. The characterization was on point, the humor was expertly done, it was heartwarming, and your author's note was... well I woke my dog up laughing at that part. I could no longer contain it.

This may be my favorite one-shot of all time. It was seriously that good.

I love how the entire fandom has accepted that Sandbar is totally a stoner.

This was great! I'm pretty sure the first fanfic I've read with the Student Six, and you've got their voices down pat. I love the concepts of the Fire of Friendship growing large enough to be a threat, Ocellus tricking (maybe) Pinkie with a Hearth's Warming miracle, and griffons arguing about the politics of other nations.

That was really so great. The dialogue and the callbacks, it all worked so well. The several season binge was highly worth the result.

*non-magical finger guns*

“I know we’re friends, guys, but—can’t you see? We’re graduating!” Gallus stepped away from Sandbar, just enough to break physical contact. “And everything is going to change. Whether we like it or not!”

HSALF!

Twilight and Starlight’s ears perked up. The flames had grown considerably smaller all of a sudden.

This made me laugh. Loud and long and clear.

This was pure joy

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