Vinyl and Octavia need to hug for eight hours – or the building explodes.
A commission for Dakastan, edited by MrNumbers. Special thanks to him, and to Crystal Wishes for the ornithological help.
Chapters (9)
Aragon
Joined 19th Mar, 2012 ·
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YEAH. FUCK IT. I POST 90K WORDS AT ONCE.
THIS IS THE ARAGON WAY.
(Eagle-eyed readers will notice that this is clearly set before Episode 100 (so, in season 5), but Gauntlet of Fire (season 6) has already happened! This is because the timeline of the show is a bit wonky and ep100 kinda sits out of it? So I played with the chain of events a bit, since in my opinion it made for a much better story and it genuinely doesn't affect the reading experience unless you're so detail-focused you notice that tiny lil detail.
Still, transparency is a good policy! So, that's a thing. Just in case it bothered you.)
9418528
You're a madman.
How are you not dead!?
How am I not dead!?
Did you know that Aragorn's fics are a great way of taking the edge off of having your ankle in a cast?
9418545
Aragorn, son of Arathorn
9418528
MLP's timeline is "Don't think about it."
Holy carp.
Almost anybody but you doing this would get a hard pass... but... damn. Onto the kindle in the #2 slot it goes.
Now that's an A+ description if I ever did saw one.
Oh GOOD.
I can't help but feel that isn't how it works.
You're making things worse.
Can't help but feel that if you replace "word" and "mouth" by "fic" and "your account", this could be someone talking to Aragon.
That worries me even more.
That is only slightly better.
Well, this is going well.
Yeah that sounds about right.
RIDICULOUSLY so, yes.
Why?
I've been there.
Oh boy.
I beg your pardon?
"Well, they'll be very relevant soon if you keep struggling like that."
I, what?
She has.
Oh wow.
Oh. She, has a point.
So it would seem.
Oh.
...
I, what?
If you're directly responsible for it, yes.
Beg pardon?
I would say yes.
So it'd seem.
Oh.
Wait, so...this takes place before episode 100...but Lyra already knows Bon-Bon's a secret agent?
9418687
Yeah! It gets explained later, so keep reading. I'm doing A Thing with that.
Ye gods. The opening section sold me on this, and everything onwards contrived to sell me harder.
Looking forward to reading the rest of this and enthusing at length when done. This is gold.
The Bearers acting as a grease trap for the life lessons others fail to learn makes a disturbing amount of sense. And is disturbing in general.
Joy.
No.
I sincerely doubt it. Also, even if they did exist, I doubt this one is.
Of course.
I, what?
Goddammit Pinkie Pie.
Not one bit.
Technically yes.
... Huh. Interesting.
REALLY?
I, what?
... Dude, I don't know how you do it, but all your characters seem simultaneously very different, yet also the same, it's, kinda entrancing.
Brain damage sucks.
OK, you are doing this on purpose!
So it would seem.
I guess so, yes.
One a week sounds closer.
Yes, but why?
... You scare me.
Not a good one, but a plan regardless.
You're doing this on purpose.
Not at all.
Surprising nobody. ANd even if you got in, your combined weight would break it.
Oh boy.
... Get, lube?
Ah.
And out?
Oh.
Good choice.
That is a problem.
I'd have said pronks.
HAHAHAHAHA! EAT SHIT!
Sounds about right.
Quite.
It worries me that that sounds about right.
She does that.
She also does that.
Yep.
Ouch.
Oh no.
You make a good point.
Oh please.
You are enjoying this.
...What sort of a benevolent leader employs an agency that so casually deals in souls?!
I can't imagine you would.
Not sure I agree on that last one.
I am impressed and disturbed. What happens when you hit to the top of the food chain though?
Point taken.
Oh no.
*nervous laugh*
I suppose that is fair, what IS your point?
HAHAHAHAHAAA!
It'd be nice.
So what happened.
Yeah.
You are not wrong.
Hm.
That is correct.
What?
Give it a second.
That happens when you're written by Aragon.
So...this WAS Celestia's plan all along, even though she specifically said it wasn't?
Oh.
That's bad.
Ah.
I can tell.
Or in the case of mine, throw him the ball.
They are. They super are.
What else is new?
Adorable.
Nothing new in Aragon's stories.
Eh?
I'm with you.
Oh...
I can tell.
Oh no.
I see.
Not really.
Dislocations hurt, but it can be fixed fairly easily.
I believe you.
That'd be nice.
I think she's succeeding.
So it would appear.
WHAT?!
Of course you have.
So the usual.
So the usual.
Yes.
Your hoof.
I suppose that's fair.
Perfect logic.
You're loving this.
You're enjoying this a lot.
Not today.
Thank you, Octavia.
That happens.
That happens.
Oh damn.
She is not. Not by any means.
Yes.
...
*inhales sharply*
Oh!
Quite.
Apparently.
... Yeah, sounds depressingly accurate.
She mad.
You have that bad habit.
I imagine, yes.
And, you didn't mention this earlier, why?
Aaaw.
Well, she isn't dead.
SNAPPED. Wait, so, Hydras in this universe have the head regen thing?
Apparently it doesn't matter.
I'd imagine, yes.
STILL.
You worry me.
Sounds par for the course.
... You terrify me.
You too?
Fair enough I suppose.
Isn't that Sunset's bit?
Yes.
Oh dear.
... I am stealing that line. I am actually stealing that line at some point.
Oi...
But you're not going to.
Oh joy.
I suppose that's a good point.
Monsters have no interest or appreciation for one liners.
As per usual.
Oh, she is in full terror paralysis mode.
I can't believe this is working.
Yes.
And you've been working very hard on it.
You really don't.
Huh?
To say the least.
I, beg your pardon?
I could have told you that.
Oh good, she's alive.
Oh dear.
Gonna have to disappoint you.
Wait, what?
Oh.
You magnificent BASTARD.
Aragon, you insane son of a bitch.
I'd imagine.
Oh, actually hell.
So be it.
Huh?
Few do.
*evil giggle*
Daaw.
9418740
Benevolent leader doesn't mean clean hands. It means everything they do, they do to give everyone a better life than they otherwise would have had.
9419023
Better life? They're in a dystopian autocracy with no clue how awful things really are. Also one of their supreme leaders is a terrifying sociopath.
9419035
Yeh but it's like, played for laughs. So they're all happy n shit. Look at em go all chipper and cute.
So why do you drink it?
Wise.
Why DO You drink it if it's so awful?
Eh...
Apparently.
It really is.
You're insane.
Fair.
I see.
Yes.
That hasn't stopped her before.
She is not.
I, see.
Fair.
Take it.
Probably?
NO!
I suppose that's fair.
Really?
I, that is technically correct.
Hm.
Best that can be hoped for.
I choose to believe no.
You scare me.
No.
So, nothing new.
Uncalled for, Octavia. A ruler is one who has to make hard, unkind, unfair decisions for the good of everyone - bearing the weight of those decisions is the burden that is the crown, and they're a tyrant if they don't feel it. Even at the expense of some. It would be evil if you refused to sacrifice one person to save the world, for instance.
Vinyl is wearing down Equestria's most powerful and last line of defense, at some point it's going to fail and every pony is going to die - and if whatever it is is strong enough to take down Equestria, the rest of the world is going to fall after it. If Celestia didn't make such a decision I'd have called BS. If you don't sacrifice, you're leaving it up to someone else to sacrifice for you, or someone to sacrifice you. Individual desires be damned if everything is at stake. Consent be damned if everything is at stake. Do whatever it takes and feel guilty about it afterwards. The lives and safety of everyone should not be dependent on morality, ethical considerations, and permission. Anyone feeling indignant about that has far too much unwarranted self-importance.
But, the emotions driving Octavia to say that are very strong, and very pure, so it's also understandable for someone to think that way. Also she's just adorable and this has been otherwise hilarious!
9419038
Isn't that because their souls are stripped from them to erase their memories?
I absolutely adore this story. Aragon keeps knocking them out of the park.
9419118
I don't think you're wrong, but let's remember that Vinyl is suffering from PTSD. She's honestly incapable of performing her duties adequately at this stage.
9419122
No— well, no because somepony else's soul is getting sacrificed— but also that's not the point. It's an absurdist comedy. It's like complaining about how dysfunctional Malcolm in the Middle is or getting freaked out by the M&M commercials where they eat other M&M's. If you don't like it that's fine, but it's a built-in part of the genre, not an objective problem.
9419308
Wait, M&M's eat each other?!
9419324
Sometimes. Ms. Brown set Red up to be eaten by a Celeb, Red threw Yellow under a bus, the Patric Warburton has them eating the non-talking varients... there's some weird stuff out there.
Stray 'y' in ponies there. Can't wait to see Vinyl as uninvolved as physically possible.
This story is spectacular thanks.
Nanomachines, son.
reads description
Well, that sounds like a nice and silly little one-shot.
goes to read it
90k story.
O.o
9419225
Was it? I might've gotten it mixed up (edited this a lot; and eventually you stop seeing mistakes, especially when it's so long) but checking the previous chapter, I see a mention of Daring Do favoring her left side, implying she's hurt on the right.
For the record, both Vinyl and Daring Do get hurt -- Vinyl on the left, Daring Do on the right. If you or anybody catches a case where I accidentally say otherwise, please tell me! I am very dumb.
9419043
Not gonna lie -- while I appreciate and admire (and fear) the way you saw a 90k words long story and went 'fuck it, I'm going to read it in one go', and then proceeded to do that and comment on every chapter, and I think that's great? Having super long comments where you literally just quote a line or two and react with 'Hm' or 'what?' or 'Yeah' or other monosyllables is...
It's very, very spammy. Like I'm glad you liked it enough to do that. but I woke up to seven super long comments that make the comment section hard to navigate, and they say absolutely nothing. Thanks for taking the time to comment, and I won't delete this because fuck having 9 deleted comments in a row, but this is super spammy, dude. Next time, quote only one or two things and try to say something, please? A simple 'I really liked this chapter! This bit was funny' or 'I didn't like this chapter as much! This bit was confusing' is much easier on everybody, including other commenters.
9419699
Ah, my bad, sorry, it's, I guess you could call it a force of habit. I'll try to stick to actual snark and commentary instead of monosyllabism (not sure if that's a word) next time.
Not gonna lie, I absolutely loved these characterizations. The story is epic and amazing and had that absolutely godawful pun in the dungeons and it's the best thing I've read for ages.
It super is.
This is made all the better/worse given how Celestia has the ability to suppress memories for decades in a recent comic.
9420095
SHE WHAT.
Dragons are easy, hydras are hard.
9420096
In a recent comic, as part of the IDW 20/20 thing, there were some feline ambassadors visiting Canterlot and Rainbow performed a Sonic Rainboom during a thunderstorm. And everyone was wearing their Elements for some reason. The girls got flung back in time and met their past selves immediately after getting their Cutie Marks. All 12 of them met up in Ponyville and searched for the Elements so they could open a portal back to the present, and along the way the kid versions of the girls all became friends. When the adult versions left, Celestia suppressed the children's memories of the adventure to avoid a paradox, and set it so they wouldn't remember until just after they got back to their own time.
Holy crap the title is a pun.
Also, you have five hundred and one individual views and over forty likes. If that's your version of a bomb then I wish I could fail like you.
Welp, that's another story on the keep forever shelf. The only thing I'm still wondering is when do they decomission the agency if this has nothing to do with it, or is bon bon just a liar in episode 100 and the agency's still going strong.
Amazing. Like one of Celestia's plans or the Can of Wyrms, it's a pile of utter nonsense until it suddenly all comes together into something incredible. Thank you for one heck of an adventure that explores an Equestria that simultaneously feels nothing like the show and yet perfectly encapsulates it.
9420424
Ah, did she? I kept thinking of the story happening during s5 so I kinda brushed that to the side. In any case, it's not really a big deal -- while I was thinking of Starlight when I wrote that, I was also thinking on the general School of Friendship thing, and how seasons 6-8 have shown Twilight moving from student to teacher?
So it was more in the sense of 'yeah she's going to start recruiting more folks', plural, than a strict particular case of 'this is about Starlight'. Trixie, the Young Six, etc? Changed the wording of that bit a little in any case, to avoid further confusion. But yeah, not as much a mistake as me wording something wrong, tbh.
For a pony, Vinyl's doing quite a good job with those weasel words.
Just so we're all clear, are you saying they were covered in saliva the first time the hydra tried to eat them? As in, before they were in its mouth?
Because if so that's... that's some mighty impressive hugging those two are doing.
Vinyl keeps dangling those tempting morsels in front of Fate's nose. It's almost like she wants to be the Big Damn Hero or something…