• Member Since 21st Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

R5h


"r5h, your story was also weird in that you had like some of the cleverest jokes in the contest and also some of the dumbest" -Aragon

T
Source

Pinkie has one month to throw a party that's out of this world. Which is exactly where she'll receive the training she needs.

Can she brave the trials of artistic integrity, heavy rainfall, an actual literal gun, and thinking too hard about why she went to Equestria in the first place?

Written as an entry for Aragon's Comedy (is Serious Business) contest.

Prereading and editing were done very graciously by Oroboro and Pearple Prose. Cover art by Lia Aqila.

Story is complete and will be updated daily!


UPDATE: Placed fourth in the contest!

Featured by the Royal Canterlot Library!

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 48 )

Was the cover art made by Lia?

R5h

8714524
It sure was! The link to the source was already on the image but I've added a link to the artist's DeviantArt page in the description, too.

I'm in love already. Let the shenanigans commence!

Cheese Sandwich? Discord? Somnambula?

Ohhh, dis gon b gud.

Some great lines here. :rainbowlaugh:

"But worth it! I've got muscles now—” she flexed, revealing an arm with the definition of a bent hotdog

“Clown college! But the admissions officer says I have to call it 'Princeton'.”

R5h

8715179

8715585

Glad you both enjoyed it so far! I hope you're looking forward to the daily updates!

8715651
Darn tootin' I am! The only other fic I'm following that updates daily is The Maretian.

On that note, I just published my second chapter of fanfiction ever. Feels good to get that done. Now if only I can do the same for my homework... Help me.

8715651
Daily updates, you say?!:rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy:

And you have a similar style to FanofMostEverything?!

I'm in! :pinkiehappy:

Heh, Party Favor and his balloons.

That was a fun chapter. Only one problem:
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/a/a4/Map_of_Equestria_2015.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20151205072352
Our Town is far to the northeast of Ponyville, on the other side of Foal Mountain. That's a mighty long way for a feral storm to travel from the Everfree. It might make more sense if the storm originated from the Crystal Mountains; it's already been established in the S6 premier that the weather up north is wild, similar to the Everfree. A storm could easily start out as a blizzard and change to heavy rain as it moves into warmer territory.

This isn't a huge issue, but my autism would never forgive me if I didn't point it out.

R5h

8717043
Eh, why not. Fixed it. Thanks for the suggestion!

Princeton's a party school? Why didn't someone tell me?

Well. That definitely happened.

having eaten the peel, he tossed the banana over his shoulder

Taking notes from Luna, are we?

Uh, that went dark quick.

:pinkiegasp: Pinkie, you got issues.

You'd better have a good explanation for this.

...Whoah. Nooses? Dark!

As someone who has two siblings with depression and anxiety, this chapter hit me hard. :pinkiesad2: Having just watched multiple Let's Plays of Doki Doki Literature Club just makes it even worse.

Okay, that was pretty sweet. Glad to see Pinkie and Limestone on good terms.

I wonder, should Pinkie need a license to use her powers? Think about it: a handful of sprinkles could blast a hole through a thick wall of living plants. Imagine scaling that up to a whole five-pound bag of sugar at the supermarket.

R5h

8720730
In this fictional universe, sure. Also, it's my god-given duty to take potshots at every university that's not my alma mater, and that includes Princeton.


8721491
I like to think I was alluding to it the whole time, actually.

8723569
Oof. Yeah, it was kind of personal for me too, though in a somewhat different way. It's tough to be a helper sometimes.

8723585
Where would she even sign up for that license?

Wow. I'm a sucker for technicolor humanoids in Equestrisa to begin with, but you took every character you selected and had them live up to their incredible potential. The comedy does take a bit of a backseat to Pinkie's emotional journey, but that's hardly a bad thing. Fantastic work from start to finish. Thank you for it.

R5h

8732673
Aw, thanks! The way I see it, there's a lot of comedies that benefit from getting serious eventually. Glad you liked it!

I enjoyed this fic so much I finally caved and made my own account here so I could comment. Fabulous work, R5h. We got hints here and there that something was pretty wrong, but it built to a good level of tension before letting us in on it. It's interesting to see how Two-Pie got frustrated with Pinkie Pie, too. Helps show there really are differences between them and makes me wonder how a younger Pinkie Pie would have handled the situation in inverse. I like that Pinkie Pie (both types) are not dumbed down, and that Two-Pie really has a serious role. That chapter with Luna was really intense, but also well done. Probably was my favorite chapter. In any case, right on, and fabulous job! Now I get notified whenever you post here, so watch your back.

“And no-good varmints,” he whispered. “In no-good varmint garments.”

Boss and Forsa stared, open mouthed, as the balloon saloon deflated.

Loving these rhymes.

And I see why this placed in the contest.

Nicely done.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Limestone Pie: always a good choice. :D

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I'm glad you didn't spend too much time on Discord, because that could have worn out quickly.

Okay, but when is Marble not doing a 'not talking thing'? <.<

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I was wondering why Somnambula. :)

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

This story was so good!

Aaaah the Blazing Saddles and the Dark Tower and :twilightsmile: leaving :pinkiegasp: at a loss for words for once!

I had serious trouble restraining the retard giggles.

I'm shocked at how short and to-the-point this all is without feeling too...well, short. But, quite to-the-point. :D

This fic is amazing. I went in because I like human-turned-pony shenanigans, and what I got was something different, deeper, and far better than I ever expected. Halfway through I was ready to put it into my Comedy Gold list, but after finishing, I feel like that label might be doing it a disservice. The RCL feature was well-deserved. :heart:

R5h

8882926
I disagree with the idea that it would be a disservice. It's not as though comedy is somehow lesser than drama, after all, and I was trying to be funny. Regardless, I thank you for the sentiment!

8878559
That's wonderful! I think that splitting the story into chapters helped a lot with that.

8877389
Thanks!

8877955
That's a dust explosion. Ever heard of rock candy exploding?

8877244
Yup, those were the references - not to mention Casablanca in the previous chapter. And indeed, it's an unusual story where Twilight is the comic relief sidekick with Pinkie as the main character. It makes the dynamic super interesting!

Ri2

I like Somnambula's new pad. How are the other Pillars dealing with the new world?

R5h

8885375
Heck if I know. I used Somnambula for this because I figured that of all the Pillars, she'd be the most open to new stuff. So I imagine the rest aren't adjusting quite as enthusiastically.

That is a fantastically depressing idea, that she didn't even know which sister it was :raritystarry:

I liked this. Plenty of funny moments, some great characterisation and world building (especially the Western chapter), and plenty more funny moments. I liked how there was darkness underneath, but did feel that that took over towards the end at the cost of some of the humour. That must have been very difficult to foreshadow, with how little we actually saw of Pinkie's sisters. I read this for Limestone, and I really liked how you wrote her. It's also got one of the most likeable Sci-Twis I've ever read. The dream with fingers is something that only works in print, rather than a visual medium :pinkiehappy: I do wish the ending had been a bit longer, though; it felt like there was more that needed wrapping up, with more payoff to Pinkie's quest.

Good story, thanks for writing!

This was fun! Limestone was the highlight for me, whether she was in the scene by being funny or by being more serious and tragic. I thought it was fairly impressive how much weight you managed to give to the feelings of two characters who are barely in the story at all for large segments of it.

Also, wow, Discord. Loved him to bits here :raritystarry:

I’m not sure how I feel about the ending, though. On paper, I like it, but it almost felt too happy when it was following the heavy, depressing moment towards the end of the second-to-last chapter. The buildup to it all, with both the party insights and the emotional journey, was all so very good that the ending, while solid, felt weak by comparison, I guess.

Still a good story, though! Made for a quite entertaining read, so thanks for writing it :twilightsmile:

R5h

9057875

9057917

That is a fantastically depressing idea, that she didn't even know which sister it was

Yeah, it was intended to demonstrate how helpless Pinkie felt to help directly.

I liked how there was darkness underneath, but did feel that that took over towards the end at the cost of some of the humour.

That was very intentional, trust me. The story is meant to kind of peel away the layers of pretense that Pinkie is putting up in an effort to keep being happy.

That must have been very difficult to foreshadow, with how little we actually saw of Pinkie's sisters.

Oddly enough, while this story was very difficult to write for many reasons, that wasn't really one of them. I figured out fairly early in the writing process how I wanted to develop and tease out the bit about Pinkie's sisters.

I do wish the ending had been a bit longer, though; it felt like there was more that needed wrapping up, with more payoff to Pinkie's quest.

That's fair. The last chapter was probably where the word count limit for the contest hit me the hardest. My thinking with writing it in a way that didn't 100% tie off everything is, there wasn't supposed to be an easy answer to her sisters' problems. Pinkie just kind of has to do her best by them, as much as she can.

I'm very glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you for your comments!

R5h

9060030

Limestone was the highlight for me, whether she was in the scene by being funny or by being more serious and tragic. I thought it was fairly impressive how much weight you managed to give to the feelings of two characters who are barely in the story at all for large segments of it.

Limestone was super fun to write. Even if she's only in the story via journal entries for the most part, I still love the way she plays off Pinkie. Marble was fun too, in a similar but different way—the idea of these incredibly different personalities as sisters in a basically supportive family was great. And part of what manages to give their feelings such weight is that Pinkie is basically thinking about them the whole time, so even though they have relatively low "screentime", their influence is felt throughout the story.

Also, wow, Discord. Loved him to bits here :raritystarry:

Glad to hear it! I tried to make each of the "party sages" fun and unique in their own ways.

I’m not sure how I feel about the ending, though. On paper, I like it, but it almost felt too happy when it was following the heavy, depressing moment towards the end of the second-to-last chapter. The buildup to it all, with both the party insights and the emotional journey, was all so very good that the ending, while solid, felt weak by comparison, I guess.

Like I said in my previous comment, I think the wordcount limit hit me the hardest when I was writing the ending. On the other hand, I'm not sure how I'd rewrite it if I had the chance, so I dunno.

Still a good story, though! Made for a quite entertaining read, so thanks for writing it :twilightsmile:

And thank you for reading it, and writing that very nice comment! Every comment is appreciated.

good story

more Limestone please

I’m not really on the up and up re EQG but you made me actually care about these characters, which is by far the most important thing. A detail I really love is that Pinkie doesn’t know who was making nooses. That’s some real shit right there.

Good story m8. Like others I feel the last few chapters were a bit rushed, but still great.

This has been an absolute blast, even with the family trouble undertones. Really, those have been interesting too.

We may not have gotten to spend much time with anyone but the protags, but each person was portrayed well. Good stuff.

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