"r5h, your story was also weird in that you had like some of the cleverest jokes in the contest and also some of the dumbest" -Aragon
Mount Vehuvius is about to erupt for the first time in over five hundred years, bringing ruin to the town of Pommepei, and only Maud Pie can stop it.
To Applejack's bewilderment, she's not interested in doing that.
Originally written for Everfree Northwest 2023's Iron Author competition, in which it placed third. Thanks to Undome Tinwe for editing help!
Page generated in 0.138 seconds
Total duration
772 users online
937,047 hits today, 1,960,719 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
So happy to see this story up on fimfic. It was an amazing piece with some incredible character work for Maud, and an Applejack who played off her really well. Honestly, if you'd managed to get the full version out during the actual writing period, I have zero doubts you'd have at least taken the second place slot. Excellent work, and I hope to cross swords with you again at the next EFNW!
11690875
But yes, I'd love to participate in that event again.
Surely you mean 'cross words'?
Thank you for the high praise! I certainly would have liked to get it all done within the two-hour period, but judging by the 4.5k wordcount it ended up at, that wasn't going to happen. Still, I'm quite happy with the story, both in its original truncated form and this new complete version. Thanks again for looking it over!
This feels like an actual episode, even down to the child-logic version of volcanic soil, nicely done.
That was a good story.
And in an ALTERNATE ISEKAI CROSSOVER version, they get Son Goku to stop the volcano.
Goku, "Oh! That'll be a piece of cake! ... Mmmmmm...caaaaaake.."
"GOKU, FOCUS!!"
Goku, "Huh? Oh right! I'll get right on top of this, so I can get me some cake!" Powers up to SSJ3!! "Kaaaa-meee-"
"Uhm, Goku... I don't think this is probably the best-"
"HA-ME-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
"OH BUCK OH BUCK OH BUCK OH BUCK!!!"
And the whole mountain was vaporized! ... ... Along with everything for a radius of 50 miles...
"Mission accomplished! And now for that cake!"
11691057
Thanks! I certainly took liberties with how volcanoes work (I'm not confident there's any amount of earthworks you could build up in front of your town that would safely divert pyroclastic flow), but since it's Equestria I figured it should be fine.
A good map story should be perplexing in progress and obvious in hindsight. This was a very good map story. Great work all around, and I do love the extended ending. Thank you for this and congrats again.
11691290
Thanks for the comment! While that wasn't exactly my plan in writing this story, it certainly works out that way in retrospect: Maud was the only one who could work with the rock farmer and understand what needed to happen with Vehuvius, and Applejack was the only one who could earn the farmers' trust. (It actually took a little while to figure out which two characters this story should feature - I was thinking Applejack and Starlight first, then Starlight and Maud, before settling on Applejack and Maud.) I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Sadly, this is pretty accurate to how people on the spectrum get treated. People like Applejack or the mayor don’t (usually) have any bad intentions, they’re just frustrated because they don’t understand, and don’t realize how hurtful things like, say, asking Maud to meet her in the middle could be.
Said it when we were judging, will say it now. This was one of my most favorite stories from the Iron Author. The fact that less than 2 points separated 1st from 3rd says something too! Congrats, and look forward to seeing what you do next year!
11691352
I would say that Applejack and the Mayor are at two ends of a spectrum here (no pun intended). The Mayor is pretty much fed up with what he sees as Sill Crisp's nonsense, and makes no effort to accommodate or understand either him or Maud. Applejack really is trying to understand and work with Maud, though, and she's trying to do things that she thinks will be helpful. Still, her efforts are flawed - until she just asks Maud directly what would be helpful for her.
I'm glad the subtext came through so clearly to you. Thanks for commenting!
11691369
Thank you for the high ranking! I'm certainly proud of the writing I did here, and I hope to have a similarly enjoyable experience next year at Everfree!
Which was the section that was missing from the contest? The dialogue between AJ and Maud at the end?
You begin in MLP-land and then go into some pretty raw stuff, but it's very smooth. The trick is that when the "episode" is over AJ is still at a wall with Maud; their emotional tension does not resolve easily, or even completely, much in contrast to the way it would be handled on the show. It's got a bit of lemon in it.
11691561
The entire final scene was missing, in fact - I had to end it very suddenly right after the part where AJ tells everyone to fill the trenches back in, which at least resolved the literal plot but left things very unresolved between AJ and Maud. And yeah, this story deals with some kinda difficult subject matter, but I like to think I'm still staying mostly within the bounds of the show's tone. Thanks for commenting!
11691260
Canonically Rockhoof protected his village by digging a trench (growing from the runt of the village to giant size), so you are good on that part at the VERY least.
11691779
See? Totally fine!
The lesson of the story and true purpose of the map sending Maud and Applejack caught me off-guard. This was honestly fantastic. You handled a tough topic in a way that a younger audience could understand! It’s an impressive feat. Like other commenters said, this feels like an official MLP story.
11692238
I'm glad you think so, and thanks for commenting!
This is a nice story and I like how Maud is depicted especialy her struggling with the perceptions of others.
11692908
Thanks! Maud is one of my favorite characters, and I really appreciated the chance to write a story with her in a starring role.
Maud's characterization here is really interesting. It's nice to see her given some kind of interpersonal conflict with more depth than just "being emotionally absent", and exploring her dynamic with the other characters through her perspective(especially the frustration she has with it) felt relatable and cathartic. Loved it, the added final scene really brings it all together for me. Thanks for sharing with us
11695848
I'm glad you think I did a good job with Maud here! She's one of my favorite characters in the show, and I quite enjoyed the chance to write this character piece for her. Thanks for commenting!
A great drama fic with some comedy tones. O feel like it could have used an extra thousand words l, but maybe that's just a me thing.
I highly enjoyed reading it l, glad I chose to!
11715702
I'm glad you liked it! And funnily enough, it's already gotten an extra thousand words: the version I wrote for the Iron Author was about a thousand words shorter, since it was missing the last scene.
Thanks for commenting!
this has been in my RiL for a while, and im glad ive finally gotten around to it! i could picture this unfolding almost like an episode of the show, and maud especially i could hear her voice clearly, you wrote her incredibly well. even if this is the “polished” version, im still super impressed you could write such a story in a short amount of time. fantastic stuff ^^
11765512
Thanks! Maud is one of my favorite characters in the show, so I'm glad I did her justice!