In the beginning, there was nothing but Cozy Glow. And then, there was light.
An entry into the Cozy Glow Short Story Contest #4 with the prompt "Of all things, it was love that Cozy needed."
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 2nd Dec, 2013
- offline last seen 49 minutes ago
Undome Tinwe
Some of them want to use you, some of them want to be used by you/Some of them want to abuse you, some of them want to be abused.
Undome Tinwe
Joined 2nd Dec, 2013 ·
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I won't lie, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and Cozy to betray Flurry. Instead, I got what might be the best religious story on the site. Incredible work, and nothing like what I expected from the discussion on Aragon's Discord server. Thank you for it.
(Though after a few minutes of thinking about it, this is more than a little disturbing...)
Get rid of the romance tag, the love here is not romantic. Other than that, this story was a work of art and expertly written.
11682014
Look, if you're not gaslighting and at times straight-up torturing someone you have a crush on, can you really call it love?
I genuinely don't know how to feel about this. On the one hand, the way Flurry tries to bring Cozy back to the Light, bit by bit through acts of kindness, is interesting. On the other, while 11682014 is right and this does have a very religious tone to it, if you take a step back some of the beats feel off. This
feels vaguely skin-crawling, less true humility (honestly appraising one's importance) than slavish obeisance.
Part of the problem is that Flurry simply doesn't come across as convincingly divine to me. Yes, she did great things - marking Cane (which, by the way, ha), destroying the Sodom expy, destroying and then remaking the world at the end - but in the magical world of Equestria, none of those things scream divinity to me the way the Resurrection here on Earth does. To put it another way, I don't know that alicorns can't unmake and remake worlds, but I do know that humans don't come back to life after dying. And if Flurry isn't divine, then her claims are hyperbolic at best and delusional at worst, the religious trappings of the story not signifiers of some greater truth but instead a cloak meant to conceal the truth of her actions.
Honestly, the vibe I get from this isn't the Bible, it's the Mandela Catalogue, a story where religious imagery is used as cover by the villains. Again, the religious tone is here, but the actual content feels just off enough to be wrong in some way. This
is fundamentally different from this
Indeed, it reminds me more of this:
Now, you write disturbing Flurry really well, so if you were intending for this story to feel off, I commend you. If you were intending it to be direct, though, a fairly straightforward story of Flurry Heart converting Cozy Glow, then I have to say that it missed the mark for me.
THIS IS A RELIGIOUS STORY!!!
Honestly, I think it is possible for a person to go too far to try to force the FlurryGlow ship into 'making sense.'
I love this. Cozy and Flurry are both different levels of disturbing egomaniacs, but Flurry's raw power wins out to the extent of persuading Cozy to replace her own egomania with Flurry-worship. The sense of crawling unease and wrongness matches perfectly with the biblical imagery. This was masterful - well done!
11682021
This tag in here is funny af, this make the story feel like a Jesus shipping fanfiction but ponified
I'm kind with the guy below here, in that I'm not quite sure how to feel about this one. It all just seemed kind of off. And I don't know how much of that is intentional.
Very good story. Very well paced, clean prose, and so against my values that I can't help but hate it (yes I'm aware that religion has been paramount for communities historically and that my values wouldn't have ever developed without it. But I don't have to like 19th century industrialism just because I'm a commie)
"Wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy"
Erm, what?
The best biblical pastiche since mother!
11682014
I didn't really pick up on any of the disturbing undercurrents when reading, but then again I just finished playing through Blasphemous 2, so my standards for divine figures are a bit skewed at the moment. Even someone like Zeus looks peachy next to the Grievous Miracle.
GREAT WORK AS ALWAYS UNDOME!!!!!!! :333 KEEP IT UP I LOVE YOUR COZYHEARTS WORK
great fic! having fun catching the subtle biblical allusions!
Honestly dude, if I didn't know for a fact that you weren't proselytizing and that you recognized that Flurry's behavior was creepy, I'd be worried about you, lol
Really well written, and good examination of Flurry.
Wow, wait until the other aicorns get a load of this lol.
But this was quite good, very very dark undercurrents (and overcurrents...).
Well, that was certainly an unexpected Biblical story. Not quite a bad thing, but I guess hard to say a good thing too. Well, despite Cozy clearly being very evil, she wasn't entirely wrong about her complaints. And I can see how this is a way to pair the two characters up without a big enough age gap to be really questionable at best.
Part of me wanted to say Flurry was really out of character, but, we don't exactly get a personality for her in the show beyond being a baby. When she was an adult in the final episode, we never actually seen her. So it ends up leading her to being very opened to where her personality can go just like so many background ponies. I'm not familiar with common fanon or headcanons for her. Which isn't to say popular fanon should determine how everyone else has to write a character.
But I will say this. The story managed to keep me hooked enough to get through the nearly 10k story in one setting which is quite hard for me to do.
This has Slaanesh written all over it. Remove the biblical stories, what remains is a huge focus on raw sensation above all else. Love, hatred, a being claiming divine Perfection with an image that is alluring and impossible to forget. An unquestioning servant that is also an absolute master, with neither of the roles the subject of their affection is to feel safe and in control. Knowledge interpreted as personal experience, with an on-brand flavour of extreme overstimulation.
This is how I imagine Slaanesh seduction would look like in-universe, particularily in WH Fantasy, performed on an intelligent, strong-willed subject not easily swayed by the mundane excesses of the flesh. Cozy's a bit too compassionate to be a champion of Tzeentch, I guess she's as close as a pony can get there, but through her we get a demonstration of how even the firm faith and logical mind can only hold out for so long.
Absolutely loved all the allegories and imagery in this. Almost enough to make me FlurryGlow believer