• Member Since 9th May, 2012
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Godzillawolf



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Featured 8/21/2017!

During the events of Somepony to Watch Over Me, Applejack acted a little strange. After reading about it in the now published Friendship Journal Pinkie Pie thinks she knows the reason. And being Pinkie Pie, she won't stop until Applejack knows the consequences of ignoring an ability that's in her blood.

Commissioned by Alexwarlorn!

My Little Pony belongs to Hasbro!

Thanks to SorcerusHorserus for the cover art!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 41 )

One question why so much enter space?

8378302
I honestly have no idea. That's some glitch that fimfiction keeps doing and I have no clue how to fix.

Hey, this was really good!

8378490
It's nice for someone to give a comment that's actually about the story instead of asking about a another story, thank you so much. :-)

Meanwhile on the other side of Sweet Apple Acres, Apple Bloom feels a shiver run down her spine as her ears twitch.

She shrugs, "Must be a muscle spasm or somethin'."

This started out funny and ended up sweet.

Wow. This story was just... wow. Have a like and a fav.:twilightsmile::pinkiehappy:

That was a cute and sweet little Story. Thank you for this :twilightsmile:

Hey Larson, come look at this!
seriously this would be a great episode.

So, most fics on this site write Maud as "deadpan and snarky/smug," or the straight man in a comedy bit. I feel that most Maud fics are an insult to her true nature: sagacious and stoic in demeanor, with a heart filled with love for her family and friends. I am pleased with your characterization of rock solid sister.

Those canyons between every other line killed me. I had a difficult time reading it. What I could get through was funny, but it was so hard to follow.

An excellent and very enjoyable read, good Sir.

8378302 8378305
I did an experiment with the reader formatting options, and double spaced appears to be quadruple spaced, while indented gives triple spaced with no indenting. This is a weird glitch, and this is the only story I've seen it happen to. :rainbowhuh:

8380913 have to admit, it was worth working through the glitch to read this.

8381082

8380913

8378302
Okay, I TRIED to fix it (which was a pain). Hope it worked. I honestly have no idea what caused this glitch.

Awwww, how sweet. The logic behind the Pie Sense doesn't quite make sense to me but okay.

My only criticism is that you need to ease back and the accent writing. Having a little is fine, but it gets irritating to read when done so much. Especially since this is a character that is well known, and the readers are aware of the accent already.

Otherwise, it's an entertaining little story, and an interesting look at the extra sense abilities shown by the Pies.

8381222
Okay, I can happily report the issue appears fixed. (at least from the pov of my tablet)

Now it seems more formal like. The fiction has lots of comedy. The part that I like is when pinkie pie is hugging her sister. It brings back memories for the moments of friendship from Castle Sweet Castle.

So, what would have happened to everyone's favorite pony if she hadn't learned to control her powers?

Dreadnought

8378732
Awww, thanks!!! :pinkiehappy:

Idea for a sequel: Applejack gets a doozy. Panic ensues.

This is a very good one-shot.

Controlling a sense? that…oh. You explained how this is a problem very well.
The bucking apples dropping into the buckets perfectly is what sealed the deal for me. Very nicely slotted into canon.

I did not experience the glitch.


Corrections offered without malice.

"talk you you.”

talk to you.

Maud had lead Applejack

had led

big sisters who's little sisters look up to us.”

whose

Very well done, made my "Best Stories" list.

“Okey dokey lokey!”

AH! Someone who knows how "okey dokey is spelled! For tht you get a point."

hmm... i'd like to see more of this...

Pinkie Pie gave a smirk. “You have all the signs! Appearing out of nowhere exactly when somepony is going to turn around! Arriving at exactly the right moment for your prophetic worry to actually happen because you showed up! Seeing every single possible bad thing that might happen to somepony and preparing in some crazy way!

Huh. When you put it like that, the Apple Sense sounds like an elevated form of anxiety. Also more relatable than it has any right to be...

Though I kinda thought her old songs were really cool though...Oh!

Oh look, it's the feeling you get when you jam to a song on the radio and realize the singer might not have been in the best condition when they wrote that, and you're caught between loving the tune and hoping the musician is in a better place now. Kinda how I feel when I hear old Kesha songs.

sigawesome@equestria ~
$ sudo apt-get update headcanon
[sudo] password for sigawesome:
Hit https://www.fimfiction.net/story/383168/apple-sense
Building Package Lists... Done
Building Dependency Tree... Done

sigawesome@equestria ~
$ sudo apt-get upgrade headcanon
The following packages will be updated:
  headcanon appul-family pie-family
  applejack maud pinkie
6 upgraded, 0 newly installed, 0 to remove, and 0 not upgraded
Do you want to continue? [Y/n] y
........................ 100%
headcanon updated!

sigawesome@equestria ~
$

A sweet little story. Short, sweet, simple. Could possibly be an episode if it was fleshed out a little more. Well, half an episode -- the other half would be AJ learning to control her Pie Apple Sense.

It could've used a bit more sensory appeal, though. It's suffering a little bit from Talking Heads syndrome. But that's okay! The whole "show, don't tell," thing is surprisingly hard to get down. Anyway, what did the characters see, hear, feel, taste, and/or smell? This includes actions that they see each other do. Averting eye contact, folded ears, swallowing, quivering, and other kinds of body language. Think: If this were an actual, animated episode, what sorts of nonverbal things would be present in these conversations? It might help to just read the works of people who are good at this. It'll add to your arsenal of appropriate body language from which you can draw while writing conversations.

Once you master this art, you'll be reading your own stuff and thinking ":rainbowderp: Whoaaaaa. This is cool!"

Still, overall, it had a nice plot with some well-placed d'aww moments. Good job.

8380455
Like, no joke, this totally should be an episode. Not only would it explore new details about the Pie Sense, which is always fun to do, it teaches a touching moral while also having lots of fun with it--precisely what the show does on a regular basis. It'd be totally at home in the show. :pinkiehappy:

The only problem is that doing it would confirm Applejack and Pinkie actually are related, and apparently the show has some rule saying this can NEVER be confirmed, for reasons that will forever be a loss to me. :rainbowlaugh:

Applejack screamed and reflexively bucked again, only for the rock solid form of Maud Pie to block both her legs with one hoof. “Oh...sorry, Maud.”

How strong is Maud

“Ooga booga booga!” Pinkie Pie suddenly screamed as she jumped out of a bush with a big tiki mask on.

“Ah!” the farmer screamed, reflexively bucking the pink pony and sending her flying and landing with a crash. 

8386794
Maud is the stronkest.

8386613
I THOUGHT the reason was because they were gonna ship Big Mac and Marble... (Even if they were fifth cousins twice removed). But that ship got sunk along with nearly a dozen others I'd have preferred over a couple that was dropped on us over the space of a single episode. So yeah, it makes no sense now.

8389431
It's to my amusement then, that many of the other ships I see for Big Mac were either also introduced (or purely existed) in the space of a single episode, or never existed outside of fanon, so, perhaps not the best of track records for Big Mac there. :rainbowlaugh:

Personally, I just hope the show sticks with this ship, if only to finally be consistent on the matter.

8389963
It would have at least happened over more than ONE episode.

8390019
I'm not surprised they did it in one episode, though--the show has never really embraced storyarcing much since the beginning, and you can blame Hasbro for that, as they ruled the show couldn't do that while it was still in development, preferring the episodic approach so to keep things simple. They've been gradually easing up on that as the years go by, obviously, but the show is still very much more episodic over storyarcing still. It is, after all, still supposed to be a kids show. They may pander to the bronies now and then, but the show it still written and geared mostly for the audience of kids it was originally created for, and frankly I'm okay with that, otherwise the show would risk losing sight of what originally caught everybody's attention to it.

8390040

The point is, Cheerilee and Marble Pie would have at least had foreshadowing. Everyone hates Mysterious Mare Do Well (or Feeling Pinkie Keen), but I LOVED both those episodes? Well, imagine how those people hate that episode, and now you know how I feel about that episode.

I reviewed this story as part of Read It Now Reviews #110.

My review can be found here.

This was fun, and I really liked the canon foundations for this "Apple-sense.":pinkiesmile: Thanks for writing.

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