• Published 5th Feb 2018
  • 1,336 Views, 67 Comments

Partyquest - R5h



Pinkie has one month to throw a party that's out of this world. Which is exactly where she'll receive the training she needs.

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The Sum of our Parties

The date was August 14th.

The banner read “Pie Sisters Party-Palooza!”

The dance floor that Pinkie'd set up outside the Pie farmhouse was filled with everyone Pinkie knew, except for the ones who were getting drinks—and even they didn’t stay for long. The drinks tables, which had been formed from marble and limestone chunks, curved to form a sort of vortex around the dance floor, directing people back to the center.

Almost like someone had planned it that way.

In fact, there was only one alcove for people to stand in, and three Pie sisters were occupying it.

“Holy shit,” Limestone said, after chugging her beercan. “Maud's actually dancing.” She pointed at the floor, where Maud was nodding her head to the beat, otherwise motionless.

“Wow,” Marble agreed, and sipped her juice pouch.

“Hey, don't interrupt the story! This is the best part!” Pinkie said, draping her arms around Limestone and Marble. “I said to myself, 'Pinkie, if the other Pinkie's right about us being different, then there must be something I can do that she can't!' And I figured it out! Watch this!”

She bent down and took a hunk of rock candy, big as a softball, in her hand. “Twilight!” she yelled across the floor, and tossed the rock.

“Got it!” Twilight called from the drinks table. She concentrated, the pendant around her neck glowed, and the rock flew skyward. “And... now!

Pinkie snapped her fingers, and the rock exploded like a firework, in a burst of pink color. The crowd below looked up and gasped, then applauded.

“Ta-da!” Pinkie jumped for joy, making her own pendant bounce on her chest. “I can make sugar explode with my mind! Take that, Pinkie Sr.!” Then she looked over to see Marble cowering. “Um, was that too much?”

“No,” Marble said, lowering her arm from her face. “S'fine.”

“And the party?”

“Great.” Marble smiled. “Doctor says… should do more of this. Exposure therapy.”

“Awesome! Hey,” Pinkie said, swirling around to face Limestone, “that reminds me for no reason at all, did you get back into school yet—”

Limestone shoved a hand over her mouth. “Pinkie,” she said, eyes narrowed.

“Mmph?”

Limestone took a deep breath, chugged the last of her beer, then tossed it over her shoulder. “Thanks,” she said, looking Pinkie in the eye and releasing her hand.

“For what?”

“For the party. And....” Limestone shrugged and looked away. “For... being there.”

Pinkie squinted. “But I wasn't actually—”

“You dumbass.” Limestone groaned, and then grabbed Pinkie in a hug. “Marble, help me hug the dumbass.”

Pinkie felt another pair of arms wrap around her from the back. She tensed, then let herself relax. “Thanks for staying here for me, too.”

“Okay.” Limestone let go in a decisive movement. “Touchy-feely time over. Is this a party or what?”

Pinkie laughed, grabbed her sisters, and pulled them into the throng.

Comments ( 28 )

Okay, that was pretty sweet. Glad to see Pinkie and Limestone on good terms.

I wonder, should Pinkie need a license to use her powers? Think about it: a handful of sprinkles could blast a hole through a thick wall of living plants. Imagine scaling that up to a whole five-pound bag of sugar at the supermarket.

R5h
R5h #2 · Feb 9th, 2018 · · ·

8720730
In this fictional universe, sure. Also, it's my god-given duty to take potshots at every university that's not my alma mater, and that includes Princeton.


8721491
I like to think I was alluding to it the whole time, actually.

8723569
Oof. Yeah, it was kind of personal for me too, though in a somewhat different way. It's tough to be a helper sometimes.

8723585
Where would she even sign up for that license?

Wow. I'm a sucker for technicolor humanoids in Equestrisa to begin with, but you took every character you selected and had them live up to their incredible potential. The comedy does take a bit of a backseat to Pinkie's emotional journey, but that's hardly a bad thing. Fantastic work from start to finish. Thank you for it.

R5h

8732673
Aw, thanks! The way I see it, there's a lot of comedies that benefit from getting serious eventually. Glad you liked it!

I enjoyed this fic so much I finally caved and made my own account here so I could comment. Fabulous work, R5h. We got hints here and there that something was pretty wrong, but it built to a good level of tension before letting us in on it. It's interesting to see how Two-Pie got frustrated with Pinkie Pie, too. Helps show there really are differences between them and makes me wonder how a younger Pinkie Pie would have handled the situation in inverse. I like that Pinkie Pie (both types) are not dumbed down, and that Two-Pie really has a serious role. That chapter with Luna was really intense, but also well done. Probably was my favorite chapter. In any case, right on, and fabulous job! Now I get notified whenever you post here, so watch your back.

And I see why this placed in the contest.

Nicely done.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Damn. :D

This story was so good!

I'm shocked at how short and to-the-point this all is without feeling too...well, short. But, quite to-the-point. :D

This fic is amazing. I went in because I like human-turned-pony shenanigans, and what I got was something different, deeper, and far better than I ever expected. Halfway through I was ready to put it into my Comedy Gold list, but after finishing, I feel like that label might be doing it a disservice. The RCL feature was well-deserved. :heart:

R5h

8882926
I disagree with the idea that it would be a disservice. It's not as though comedy is somehow lesser than drama, after all, and I was trying to be funny. Regardless, I thank you for the sentiment!

8878559
That's wonderful! I think that splitting the story into chapters helped a lot with that.

8877389
Thanks!

8877955
That's a dust explosion. Ever heard of rock candy exploding?

8877244
Yup, those were the references - not to mention Casablanca in the previous chapter. And indeed, it's an unusual story where Twilight is the comic relief sidekick with Pinkie as the main character. It makes the dynamic super interesting!

R5h

8885375
Heck if I know. I used Somnambula for this because I figured that of all the Pillars, she'd be the most open to new stuff. So I imagine the rest aren't adjusting quite as enthusiastically.

I liked this. Plenty of funny moments, some great characterisation and world building (especially the Western chapter), and plenty more funny moments. I liked how there was darkness underneath, but did feel that that took over towards the end at the cost of some of the humour. That must have been very difficult to foreshadow, with how little we actually saw of Pinkie's sisters. I read this for Limestone, and I really liked how you wrote her. It's also got one of the most likeable Sci-Twis I've ever read. The dream with fingers is something that only works in print, rather than a visual medium :pinkiehappy: I do wish the ending had been a bit longer, though; it felt like there was more that needed wrapping up, with more payoff to Pinkie's quest.

Good story, thanks for writing!

This was fun! Limestone was the highlight for me, whether she was in the scene by being funny or by being more serious and tragic. I thought it was fairly impressive how much weight you managed to give to the feelings of two characters who are barely in the story at all for large segments of it.

Also, wow, Discord. Loved him to bits here :raritystarry:

I’m not sure how I feel about the ending, though. On paper, I like it, but it almost felt too happy when it was following the heavy, depressing moment towards the end of the second-to-last chapter. The buildup to it all, with both the party insights and the emotional journey, was all so very good that the ending, while solid, felt weak by comparison, I guess.

Still a good story, though! Made for a quite entertaining read, so thanks for writing it :twilightsmile:

R5h

9057875

9057917

That is a fantastically depressing idea, that she didn't even know which sister it was

Yeah, it was intended to demonstrate how helpless Pinkie felt to help directly.

I liked how there was darkness underneath, but did feel that that took over towards the end at the cost of some of the humour.

That was very intentional, trust me. The story is meant to kind of peel away the layers of pretense that Pinkie is putting up in an effort to keep being happy.

That must have been very difficult to foreshadow, with how little we actually saw of Pinkie's sisters.

Oddly enough, while this story was very difficult to write for many reasons, that wasn't really one of them. I figured out fairly early in the writing process how I wanted to develop and tease out the bit about Pinkie's sisters.

I do wish the ending had been a bit longer, though; it felt like there was more that needed wrapping up, with more payoff to Pinkie's quest.

That's fair. The last chapter was probably where the word count limit for the contest hit me the hardest. My thinking with writing it in a way that didn't 100% tie off everything is, there wasn't supposed to be an easy answer to her sisters' problems. Pinkie just kind of has to do her best by them, as much as she can.

I'm very glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you for your comments!

R5h

9060030

Limestone was the highlight for me, whether she was in the scene by being funny or by being more serious and tragic. I thought it was fairly impressive how much weight you managed to give to the feelings of two characters who are barely in the story at all for large segments of it.

Limestone was super fun to write. Even if she's only in the story via journal entries for the most part, I still love the way she plays off Pinkie. Marble was fun too, in a similar but different way—the idea of these incredibly different personalities as sisters in a basically supportive family was great. And part of what manages to give their feelings such weight is that Pinkie is basically thinking about them the whole time, so even though they have relatively low "screentime", their influence is felt throughout the story.

Also, wow, Discord. Loved him to bits here :raritystarry:

Glad to hear it! I tried to make each of the "party sages" fun and unique in their own ways.

I’m not sure how I feel about the ending, though. On paper, I like it, but it almost felt too happy when it was following the heavy, depressing moment towards the end of the second-to-last chapter. The buildup to it all, with both the party insights and the emotional journey, was all so very good that the ending, while solid, felt weak by comparison, I guess.

Like I said in my previous comment, I think the wordcount limit hit me the hardest when I was writing the ending. On the other hand, I'm not sure how I'd rewrite it if I had the chance, so I dunno.

Still a good story, though! Made for a quite entertaining read, so thanks for writing it :twilightsmile:

And thank you for reading it, and writing that very nice comment! Every comment is appreciated.

good story

more Limestone please

I’m not really on the up and up re EQG but you made me actually care about these characters, which is by far the most important thing. A detail I really love is that Pinkie doesn’t know who was making nooses. That’s some real shit right there.

Good story m8. Like others I feel the last few chapters were a bit rushed, but still great.

We may not have gotten to spend much time with anyone but the protags, but each person was portrayed well. Good stuff.

Marble, help me hug the dumbass.

:pinkiehappy:

R5h

9766816

9766821
Aww, thank you! Somnambula (and all the other "party sages") were really fun to write, and I'm glad that came through in making it fun to read. And I enjoyed the resolution at the end as much as y'all did.

R5h

9900401
Yeah, I guess that was probably foreshadowing. It's pretty easy to miss: I didn't remember I'd put it in there until you pointed it out.

I can't find the words.. just.. incredible. What a story.

“For the party. And....” Limestone shrugged and looked away. “For... being there.”

i like how this fic started happy, and slowly got sadder WITH pinkie, and managed to pull off a happy ending a single chapter after it's darkest moment.

I wasn't expecting a dark story without a dark tag. But it wasn't bad. The mystery, another hidden tag, going on through small giveaways are compelling.

A somewhat sweet ending

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