• Member Since 22nd Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen Apr 28th, 2019

Summer Dancer

On Wednesdays, we wear PINK!

Comments ( 48 )

The disgruntled parent left after knowing that his daughter was screaming for a good reason this time, muttering under his breath how they would never have any more children.

This time? Oh dear.

Said girl blushed, and before she could say anything, Pinkie whipped out her phone and angled it with flair. “This is so going on MyStable!”

Yes. :rainbowlaugh:

Marble turned on the faucet and started sprayed Pinkie’s head. The ladder cried out unexpectedly, nearly making Marble jump out of her skin. “C-C-C-C-C-Cold! Cold!”

"ladder" should be latter.

Marble gave an embarrassed giggle and smoothed the long curtain of pink hair in her hands, getting it was wet as possible. Some time in, she had managed to get every part of Pinkie’s hair soaking wet, and it straightened momentarily--however, certain strands started to curl back up as soon it was halfway dry.

"getting it as wet as possible". Those are the only mistakes I see! Great job! It was really cute. :pinkiesad2:

6748143 No problem! Happy to help! :twilightsmile:

Well this was certainly adorable. Gotta love god sisterly bonding moment. Have an up vote.

That image, Pinkie doesn't seem pleased about that hair style. :rainbowlaugh:

marble didnt have to go through that much trouble all she had to do is say something hurtful to pinkie and she would had deflated her self:ajsmug:

Marble turned on the faucet and started sprayed Pinkie’s head.

It should probably be "started spraying"

“It’s just that your face was so concentrated and stoic like and I almost never see that, except when you’re painting and we almost never see you paint because you’re room’s almost always locked…”

your, not you're

The she gasped loudly, making Marble jump.

Then. Lol silly mistake but i'm feeling very correcty tonight. Hope ya don't mind.

I don't usually do this kinda stuff, but the inner critic slash, whatever they're called in me was itching for it

I loved the story very cute, and heartwarming.

I read in your foot note that you wrote this on a raining morning? Must have been really great getting all that in, in one morning to!

6748368 Thanks so much, I really appreciate it. :pinkiehappy: And yeah, on mornings like these, I like to keep myself busy :twilightsmile:

6748377 nearly forgot. Nice profile picture by the way, very merry, and Christmasy, just like mine. But mine's more of a, you either get it or you don't, kinda Christmasy, merry one.

6748390 Thanks! I kind of feel that yours involves a certain doctor who or star treck, but I'm probably wrong :twilightsheepish:

6748402 and you'd be correct about a certain Doctor. Congratulations. You win, something, I dunno yet, but something

6748409 Success :rainbowdetermined2: My friend loves Doctor Who and I tried to watch the first episode for free, but YouTube doesn't have it and it's very choppy in dailymorion :ajsleepy:

6748420 like you I had such problems for quite some time. But I have this station called PBS on my tv that airs an old episode of Doctor Who on saturday 9:00 pm I think. Of course I don't know what you have.

I actually didn't start with episode 1, because episode one was like 52 years ago. Timey wimey stuff. But I know for a fact that you can start anywhere in the show and understand the show. I think tonight they wrap up Season 8 on pbs. I'd have to be sure. But anyways yeah. If you have that channel, or BBC America, you can hop right in every day, on the weekends.

Awwww, that was cute, nice going! :yay:

6748434 Okay, thanks! I have PBS.

These are my favorite types of stories. Just family fluff and bonding. I like that you made Pinkie and Marble twins, and her motivation is nothing short of precious. Great job.

I genuinely detested this.

6749915 You know, instead of blatantly stating your opinion in a way that can come off as rude, why not explain to the author why you disliked their story with constructive criticism. I mean, you were commenting anyway so surely it isn't that hard to at least explain why you didn't like it and help them improve in the future.

As for my thoughts on the story itself, it was cute. Certainly a nice sibling moment between Marble and Pinkie and I know you weren't going for much beyond that. I do have a minor gripe though, in the fact that the beginning section prior to the first line break doesn't really add anything to the story. It could be removed altogether and everything would remain largely unchanged. Other than that, I enjoyed it.

6749915 It might be fair perhaps give a reason as to why you felt that way. The story has its flaws, (some typos, a tense shift or two, a few oddly-parsing sentences) but I wouldn't have at all expected those enough to warrant considering it 'detestable'.

Fair, fair.

I disliked it for the very reason that it was cute. You utterly dismantled the fundamental and underlying design of Marble by having her do something so assuming as cut her sisters hair to match her own. This is something that the true character would never do; Marble Pie is the sort of pony who would not force any semblance of themselves onto another.

Furthermore, you have simultaneously torn the fundament of Pinkie Pie to the extent of her hair being cut by her sister. As more than one episode shows us, Pinkie Pie's hair is only malleable as her emotions change. The very idea of her hair being cut is simply devoid of Pinkie's mane's paramount notion and design.

Finally, this fiction was so agonisingly feminine. Yes, more so than MLP FIM itself. Overall, in conjunction with the flawed writing techniques, it was essentially badly written. The epicurean-like manner in which it is concocted only testifies to why it is so excruciatingly feminine. Given that I was able to almost immediately form a basis of opinion for the story's writing style, and the reasons for which I would dislike it, simply by looking at your short bio, your profile picture, your story description, and the title of the one and only chapter is a clear indicator that you need to add variety to your stories in order for more individuals to enjoy them. Still, I persevered with difficulty to the end in the ever thinning hope that there would be some redeeming light for your story. I found none.
But despite my intense dislike of your story, well done for getting the views and likes from those who apparently enjoyed it.

I respect your opinion. I aknowledge that my writing needs sprucing up since I'm still learning. Though I'm not ashamed of being girly or feminine. I like being girly :rainbowkiss: I simply saw the picture, adored it, and wrote something about it. I used to be shy as Marble in one point in my life, but I used to do something like this with my cousin. Pinkie could easily change it back if she really didn't like it, but hey. Sorry this fic isn't for you, but I appretiate your honesty, despite your allergic reaction to femininity.

6750149 Boy this story just boiled your parsnips didn't it

Fact of it is we don't have a huge amount of information on any of Pinkie's siblings sans perhaps Maud. With that in mind it's kinda hard to base the entirety of a character's characterization on one single episode, and thus leaves a considerable amount of wiggle room for interpretation, especially with regards to the interactions between sisters that we didn't actually get a lot of during the episode itself.

Moreover, your arguments seem to be, respectively: Fundamental characterization problem, fundamental characterization problem, and it's too light and fluffy and feminine for me. The first two could theoretically be construed as constructive criticism if your complaints weren't terribly absolutist and framed in a deliberately confrontational manner, and the last strikes me as opinion of taste more than fact. Why chime in if you knew from the get-go you weren't going to like it? Because you forced yourself to finish it, like you're some kind of brave, noble matyr? You framed your complaints in a knowingly combative way, and that's not really a good way to get a message to be taken seriously. If you're going to pretend at an air of intellectualism you must know that.

Lastly...this is fanfiction, man. Fan-fiction. A great deal of the fun of fanfics is just writing the things that pop into our heads and sharing them with others. I think it a safe assumption that the majority of the writers here aren't award-winning caliber and that most of them are just doing this for their own personal amusement. If we adhered 100% to the hard fact canon as we did, we wouldn't have a lot of interesting stories (even discounting the sometimes inconsistent depiction of characters IN the show). Gotta diverge, reinterpret, imagine. We're writing fictional interpretations of a fictional show about a pastel rainbow of magical talking ungulates with stamps on their butts and a penchant for being nice to each other.

I'm all for helping people improve, but your comments aren't being helpful in that regard.




6750603 Don't choke, you'll die! :fluttercry:

“I find it interesting that you talk to me the most. Out of everyone else in our family, I mean.”

Pinkie’s statement surprised Marble. “Hmm. I suppose...when we’re alone...with you, I just have more to say.” Her dark hair fell over her eyes. “If that makes sense.”

I assume it's also in part due to the fact that twins have an unspoken connection with each other. :rainbowlaugh: This is a really cute story!

That cover art is so cute. :rainbowkiss:

Nice sisterly bonding Slice of Life story, of course. :twilightsmile:

Wonderful. The translations of marble-speak were cool and the dialogue between the two brought a smile to my face.

I want to be Pinkie, she got all that gossip from just sitting there listening to everything and everyone through her hair strands or some shit:pinkiecrazy:

Also Marble needs to be in more stories like this, this story was cute

Why did the episode just skim over that? I mean she has a twin! That's so much different then just having a sibling! Are they fraternal twins? Seriously! :unsuresweetie:

Also, I have an identical twin, so I was like, that's cool!:pinkiehappy:

So, um, cute story!:twilightsmile:

This is one of the cutiest fics I have read this month.

Surprisingly cute. I enjoyed it! :raritystarry:

Am I the only one who really likes Marble Pie? :pinkiehappy: Y NO MARBLE PIE EMOJIS?!

6750332 Wow. That was well written. Nice! I was going to write something more, but you kind of summed up my tho it's exactly!
As for the story, it was ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!

*squees at Marble being adorable*

Awwww! My heart just burst with happiness!

Maybe marble is secretly ultra-creative. Like all around art-master creative. I'm talking movies, books,paintings, people. The world is canvas and her inspiration both sort of thing.

Well... if cuteness could kill,this would do it. I love it.

I still come back to this story. I love it. So cute and heart-warming.

That was a pleasant little slice of life piece. The ending was sweet too. I also like the idea that Marble feels more like talking when she's around Pinkie. Thank you for sharing. :twilightsmile:

Well, it's actually never stated in canon that Pinkie and Marble are twins. I think it's just the author's personal interpretation.

God, reading my comments from when I was thirteen makes me want to die

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