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Jan
2nd
2018

The Comedy (Is Serious Business) Contest! · 2:55pm Jan 2nd, 2018

Comedy is subjective.

—Someone with no taste.

If you folks know anything about me – and you do, as I have no idea what concepts like “privacy” or “shame” are – you know I like comedy. I keep writing comedy, I keep writing about comedy, and I’ve gone out of my way to make my life a total joke just to be thematically consistent.

With this in mind, and seeing how this website could always do with more good comedies, I’m happy to introduce—

THE COMEDY (IS SERIOUS BUSINESS) CONTEST

The objective of this contest is – as you can properly guess, because it’s, like, right there in the name – to encourage the creation of good comedy fanfiction, and to make Fimfic a slightly happier place. Also to cater to my personal tastes in literary genres, but that’s beside the point. Shush. Let me have this.

In particular I want to encourage the kind of comedy that’s a story per se, not just a string of jokes. Sure, make me laugh, be entertaining – but do something more than just that. Give me plot, give me character development, give me stakes, make me care.

(“But Aragón!” you might be thinking. “Can’t I do all that, and then also just give you a neverending string of dick jokes?” To which I reply – well, shit, of course, but have in mind that a good comedy should be a good story, too. I do like dick jokes, however.)

With that objective in mind? Let’s get down to business, and tell you what you really want to know.

THE PROMPT

A contest is only as good as its prompt; too restrictive, and people won’t be able to come up with good ideas—but make it too broad, and you get a bunch of stories with no real common theme.

With this in mind, this is the prompt you’ll have to work with:

We Learned Something [x]

Notice that there’s a blank space – signified by that handy [x] – in the prompt. This is because that part of the prompt is up to you. You’ll have to add your own word: it has to be an adjective, or the name of a character from the show (OCs are also allowed!).
In other words, this is how the final prompts might look like:

We learned something, Twilight.

In this case, you’d be using the name of a character (and adding a comma!).

We learned something dark.

In this case, you’d be using an adjective (and fuck the optional comma).

(EDIT: The adjective rule is sorta flexible, to make it easier on y'all. As long as you only use one word, chances are it'll be accepted -- ask just in case, but "We Learned Something Today" was judged to follow the spirit of the prompt closely enough to pass, so yeah.)

So, yeah! You can have any option you like within these guidelines. Only one prompt per entrant, and no repetitions. This won’t be an issue if you’re choosing an adjective, but if you want ‘We learned something, Twilight’, you’ll have to act fast!

Simply leave a comment in this post (or PM me if you’re shy or want to confess your dying love for me or something) telling me what your exact prompt will be. I’ll write it down at the end of the blog, so be sure to check if the one you want is still up for grabs!

Any questions or doubts, simply ask me in here or through PM. I’ll reply immediately and probably send you a sexy picture alongside the message.

THE PRIZES

Arguably the second most important thing in any contest. By the way, MASSIVE shoutout and thanks to R5h, Oroboro, Undome Tinwe, Pearple Prose, and ThePoneDrome, who made this contest possible by generously donating all they had to the prize pool. I believe they have nothing left after this. Their sacrifice will be honored.

This is how it’ll go:

  • FIRST PLACE – 200 USD
  • SECOND PLACE – 100 USD
  • THIRD PLACE – 50 USD
  • FOURTH PLACE – $25 STEAM GIFT CARD
  • Money prizes will be sent through Paypal

Lastly, the fifth place – something like a personal pick of mine – will get steam copies of DmC: Devil May Cry and Serious Sam 2. Bit of a weird fucking swerve to the left as far as prizes go, I’m aware, but hey. It’s still a nice late Christmas present, ain’t it?

THE RULES

Aight, so, the nitty-gritty of the contest:

  • Stories must be submitted and tagged complete, before February 10TH. The prompt you’re going to use also has to be submitted before that date, through the methods described above (comment in here or PM).
  • The minimum word limit will be 1,000 words, while the maximum will be 12,000 words. EDIT: The upper limit, as you can see, has been kicked up to 12k, as a surprisingly large amount of people asked for it. I am a benevolent authority figure. Ask and you shall receive. Up to a point. Up to 12k, specifically.
  • Mature stories are allowed, but please don't enter porn. Sexual content is perfectly allowed and won't take any points from you, but if your story is obviously a literal wankfest it might suffer, scoring-wise.
  • Stories must be new to the site, and need to be tagged “Complete” to be accepted.
  • Multi-chapter stories are allowed, as long as they follow the word limit and are tagged complete by the due date.
  • Sequels to previously published fics are allowed, but they need to work by themselves as a full story, and not just a sequel; we won't be reading the prequel before we judge (and we'll judge as if the prequel didn't exist) so be careful.
  • Stories must be tagged “Comedy.” However, if you want to add more tags, feel free to do so! All genres and styles are allowed – as long as the story remains fundamentally a comedy. This includes crossovers, though have in mind that, if the judges aren't familiar with your source material, your story's score might suffer.
  • In the story’s long description, add a line explaining that it’s an entry for this contest! Just in case I miss it or something.
  • Stories must be submitted to the Comedy Contest Group – there’s a folder named ‘Contest Entries’, simply put your story there. Submissions to the group can be made after the deadline, as long as the story has been posted in Fimfiction, and has been tagged complete, before February 10TH.

Neat? Neat. If you’ve got any questions or sexy pictures, the comments of this blog are your friends.

THE JUDGING

Last (and least) come the judges. They will be:

As you can see, the panel consists of well-established comedy authors, and also myself. Both because we know the deal and how this usually goes, and because that way these two assholes can’t enter the contest and blow us all out of the water. This is both a judging panel and sort of a hostage situation regarding my closest friends, not going to lie.

Now, stories will be marked on their comedy, their construction (including their use of the prompt), their writing, and the strength of their characters (and character arcs). I think these categories are pretty self-explanatory… But just in case you’re worried: don’t worry about humor being subjective, or about us “not getting” your jokes.

Because we will! And also – comedy IS about being funny, and humor IS subjective – but a well-constructed joke will always be appreciated. Don’t worry: we won’t be judging your jokes on personal biases, but on how well they’re written and delivered. Write what YOU think is fun, and what YOU think is funny. That’ll be more than enough.

(In case you’re doubtful about your comedic abilities or the judges’ understanding of your particular humoristic language, simply add a joke making fun of MrNumbers’ mother, or the size of Majin Syeekoh’s genitalia. Those always set the crowd aflame.)

PROMPTS TAKEN SO FAR

  1. "We Learned Something Subtle" -- Novel-Idea
  2. "We Learned Something Dastardly" -- AsiagoUnicorn
  3. "We Learned Something Simple" -- RB_
  4. "We Learned Something, Rarity" -- ChappedPenguinLips
  5. "We Learned Something, Sunset" -- Allykitty
  6. "We Learned Something, Raven" -- Alexander Crestfallen
  7. "We Learned Something, Darling" -- Monochromatic
  8. "We Learned Something Political" -- GaraTheAuthor
  9. "We Learned Something Obsolete" -- Lise Eclaire
  10. "We Learned Something Magical" -- Feather Note
  11. "We Learned Something Irrational" -- Corejo
  12. "We Learned Something Absurd" -- BadlyDrawnTurtle
  13. "We Learned Something Unknowable" -- Cyrano
  14. "We Learned Something, Thorax" -- Bugsydor
  15. "We Learned Something, Spitfire" -- Manaphy
  16. "We Learned Something, Zephyr" -- FanOfMostEverything
  17. "We Learned Something, Soarin" -- Oroboro
  18. "We Learned Something, Fluttershy" -- Blazeblast4
  19. "We Learned Something Today" -- Kai Creech
  20. "We Learned Something, Starlight" -- Czar_Yoshi
  21. "We Learned Something Unspeakable" -- Jade Ring
  22. "We Learned Something Partytastic" -- R5H
  23. "We Learned Something, Octavia" -- Cinder Vel
  24. "We Learned Something, Sombra" -- Kuairu
  25. "We Learned Something Elementary" -- Ceffyl Dwr
  26. "We Learned Something Cryptic" -- Thought Prism
  27. "We Learned Something, Carrot" -- horizon
  28. "We Learned Something, Maybe" -- Galaxina-the-Unicorn
  29. "We Learned Something Ontological" -- Orbitting Kettle
  30. "We Learned Something, Alright" -- itsyaboiross
  31. "We Learned Something Zest(y)" -- Marwile
  32. "We Learned Something Horrible" -- Trick Question
  33. "We Learned Something, Twilight" -- Super Trampoline
  34. "We Learned Something, Sparkle" -- Shrink Laureate
  35. "We Learned Something Archaic" -- Vertigo22
  36. "We Learned Something, Unfortunately" -- MagnetBolt
  37. "We Learned Something Late" -- SoothingCoffee
  38. "We Learned Something, Haycartes" -- Undome Tinwe
  39. "We Learned Something Inconvenient" -- MaxKodan
  40. "We Learned Something Mannerly" -- ThePonyBlues
  41. "We Learned Something Zoological" -- MythrilMoth
  42. "We Learned Something, Starswirl" -- Adorkable Moonlight
  43. "We Learned Something, Right" -- DuskPhoenix
  44. "We Learned Something, Luna" -- Skywriter
  45. "We Learned Something Ancient" -- Matthewl419
  46. "We Learned Something Splendiferous" -- Snowybee
  47. "We Learned Something Moist" -- PiercingSight
  48. "We Learned Something Historical" -- Monarch Dodora
  49. "We Learned Something, Shining" -- Flutterpriest
  50. "We Learned Something, Posthumously" -- GapJaxie
  51. "We Learned Something Parliamentary" -- Neoarcard
  52. "We Learned Something Obvious" -- Razor Blade the Unicron
  53. "We Learned Something, Theoretically" -- MadMarionette
  54. "We Learned Something Narrative" -- Oroboro
  55. "We Learned Something, Applejack" -- nwishlove
  56. "We Learned Something Illicit" -- I Thought I Was Toast
  57. "We Learned Something Unscripted" -- Aquaman
  58. "We Learned Something Together" -- Silent Whisper
  59. "We Learned Something Lawful" -- DwarvishPony
  60. "We Learned Something, Romantically" -- IvoryPiano
  61. "We Learned Something Broken" -- VinylScratched
  62. "We Learned Something Disappointing" -- JackRipper
  63. "We Learned Something Honest" -- Muggonny
  64. "We Learned Something Hot" -- Raugos
  65. "We Learned Something Stupid" -- Baal Bunny
  66. "We Learned Something Universal" -- Dreams of Ponies
  67. "We Learned Something, Probably" -- Miller Minus
  68. "We Learned Something Disturbing" -- Shallow15
  69. "We Learned Something Polite" -- Darkest Dreams
  70. "We Learned Something Unfair" -- Guy Fieri
  71. "We Learned Something Narcissistic" -- Punk Rock Prom Queen
  72. "We Learned Something Botanical" -- Maran
  73. "We Learned Something Glorious" -- Masterweaver
  74. "We Learned Something Annoying" -- Paradigm Shift
  75. "We Learned Something Jovially" -- Doctor Disco
  76. "We Learned Something, Miss Cheerilee" -- Alaborn
  77. "We Learned Something Newsworthy" -- River Road
  78. "We Learned Something Suicidal" -- Ebola-chan Ganbatte
  79. "We Learned Something Suggestive" -- TheDriderPony
  80. "We Learned Something Unexpected" -- Dreadnought
  81. "We Learned Something Whackademic" -- Posh
  82. "We Learned Something Sacred" -- Bad Horse
  83. "We Learned Something Kawaii" -- CoffeeMinion
  84. "We Learned Something, Tirek" -- Tumbleweed
  85. "We Learned Something Explosive" -- Askyflare
  86. "We Learned Something Purifying" -- An Intrincate Disguise

And that’s it. Best of lucks!

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Comments ( 178 )

Holy fuck this is like the fifth contest this month that I want to write something for what the fuck why would you do this to me

4765414
I specifically waited till today (this has been in the works since November!) because I thought 'eh, most contests will be done by Christmas'.

They weren't.

But I posted this anyway.

Because I'm not a coward. I don't play by your daddy's rules.

As with all the contests on this site, I'll promote this one on my profile site in an attempt to get you more contenders. Good luck!

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver

Oh fuck me not another—

Oh wait I'm a judge. This takes a load of my back.:twilightblush:

I. AM. IN.

LET'S FUCKING DO THIS.

4765414 Because he loves you.

Luck with the contest, i'm looking forward to seeing what comes out of it.

Oh screw it.

“We learned something Minuette”

4765414
Fifth?!!! This is only the second contest im aware of. Theres this and the "cheaters" contest. What were the others?!

Any questions or doubts, simply ask me in here or through PM. I’ll reply immediately and probably send you a sexy picture alongside the message.

I question and/or doubt the sexiness of any pics sent alongside said hypothetical messages. As a wise man once said:

Pics or it didn’t happen.

Whee, I never finish these things but let's try again anyways.

"We learned something dastardly."

4765430

This, FamousLastWords’ Adultery one, Ice Star’s Lunbra contest, Cynewulf’s Worldbuilding contest, and a fifth that I can’t even recall

Hmm... I'm going to need to think about this one. I'll get back to you.

It's fine, really. I was going to be judging you anyway. Now it's just formalized.

RB_

Well, I suppose every contest lineup needs a last place.

We learned something simple.

I don't get this contest exactly, but just in case,

We learned something, Spike.

That is one of the nicer and best organized contest announcements I've seen.

Hey, big lips, I didn't notice any rules about E,T, or M rating.

Either the gasoline at my cousin's house is scrambling my brain, or that means there is no rule about mature stories prohibited...

4765460
You're in! Also -- what do you mean, you don't get it? Was the announcement unclear? Or like, the judging or something?

Idea is, this is a comedy contest. We're three comedy authors with wildly different senses of humor, so our total experience with this is rather broad -- but seeing how comedy's subjectiveness has been explored a million times by the fandom, we won't approach stories just for their comedic value.

I.e. -- a well-written comedy that for some weird coincidence manages to use some kind of humor that doesn't appeal to any of us will be rated lower than a badly-written comedy that appeals to my personal bias. That's why I asked two other people to help me with the judging; we'll keep each other in check.

I hope that helped a bit? If not, unno, reply or something. Just write a comedy about Spike, mate -- you'll be good. Trust me. Look at my face. Look at my beautiful face. That's a face you can trust.

Hmm. I’m going to tentatively say

“We learned something, Sunset.”

And you know why.

4765465
So write a serious comedy with an actual storyline and other stuff that a good story needs, not a silly comedy like Airplane!, Epic Movie, Spaceballs, or The Starving Games. Gotcha, thanks.

4765465
Also, Spike kissing Rarity is more appealing to my eyes than your face. :heart:

4765468

(Also, good catch with the mature thing -- edited the blog. For all y'all, Matured stories are allowed, but outright porn is not. Sexual porn by itself is not forbidden; just don't submit something that is CLEARLY trying to make me jack off.)

4765472
So write sad but funny porn, not FUN porn, gotcha thanks.

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver

4765472
So no pictures of Numbers.

Gotcha.

Let's play language roulette. I'm in but I dunno what word I'm pickin' yet.

"We learned something, Raven."

We learned something, Rarity.

We learned something political.

Sounds interesting. I'll definitely come back once I have an actual idea:twilightsheepish:
And what about crossovers?

4765495
Crossovers are allowed, as well as any other genre -- added this explicitely to the blog post to make it clearer -- though have in mind that we judges might not be familiar with the source material. You're risking sacrificing accessibility there, so keep that in mind.

Put me down tentatively for "We learned something useless." A question, though: If I change my mind, am I allowed to change that prompt, or am I stuck with it now?

4765513
Changing or modifying prompts is allowed, yeah. Don't worry 'bout that.

Here I go throwing my hat into the ring:

We Learned Something Irrational

4765459
No you don't, that's my spot!

My entry:
“We learned something absurd”

Let's see, comedy isn't my strong suit, but that's all the more reason to try, right?

We Learned Something Unknowable.

My entry, should I find time to complete it:

We learned something, Thorax

Lord Moosebug should be sufficiently curious and clueless (to start with) for me to make something of this within the month.

(Please don't send me sexy pictures.)

While I'm unsure whether I'll enter, I'm tempted to write:

We learned something, Spitfire.

Always struggled when it comes to writing comedy, which means I cannot promise I'll have something for the contest, but I'll give the prompt a try and see whether I can write something. Chances are I'll have to ask a few people unaffiliated with the contest for advice on writing comedy and to bounce ideas, but I guess it'll be helpful for my future writing attempts.

Right, I have a plan.

We Learned Something, Zephyr

Going for the hat trick.

We've learned something, Soarin

Someone beat me to Spike, so I’ll take We Learned Something, Fluttershy. If she’s already taken, I’ll go with Angel Bunny.

Is "Can I learn something already?" acceptable? If not, I'm prepared to cheat and claim "I learned something today."

we learned something today

4765656

4765671

Ah, bit of a situation. You sorta said the same prompt, so in this case, Kai Creech would get it, as he said it first.

I'm... not sure if 'today' counts for the prompt. Originally it was supposed to be only adjectives or names -- but the other two judges are okay with it, so I suppose I'll accept it. It does follow the spirit of the prompt, after all.

Itsyaboiross, I'm sorry, but you'll have to come up with something else. You got sniped, man.

"We learned something, Starlight."

By the way, is double-dipping with other contests allowed, or do entries have to be written specifically for this one?

4765678
Perfectly allowed. I've been joking around with the judges of FamousLastWord's contest, on how we're probably going to see at least a couple cheating comedies -- and Oroboro up there is at least picking up the glove.

Go bonkers, y'all. Just keep in mind that we'll judge every story by itself, without taking this kind of thing into account.

Whelp, maybe this is just the thing I need to kick my ass back into writing full-time.

"We Learned Something Unspeakable"

4765679 Oh boy. I'm definitely in, then. Here goes nothing.

Hm...I would like to try this...okay. I'll see what I can do. Also, what about:

"We Learned Something...I Think"

4765685
Sorry! Has to be one word, and it's better if it's an adjective. That one sadly doesn't fly. (Perhaps you can use 'We Learned Something, Maybe"?)

Ah well, who wants to live forever? Gonna proudly make an utter fool of myself. And I'll make senpai notice me.

I'll take "We Learned Something, Octavia".

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