Twilight has been messaging Dragon Lord Ember for two weeks now, and the other ponies are wondering whom the new Princess’s pen pal is. Twilight gets a brilliant and terrible idea. Cover art by the sensational PixelKitties.
Chapters (2)
- Member Since 21st Mar, 2012
- offline last seen Feb 1st, 2023
meme-asaurus
An American who doesn't go to cons. Follow me on my Tumblr and on Fanfiction.net.
meme-asaurus
Joined 21st Mar, 2012 ·
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meme-asaurus · 1.7k words · 198 4 · 3k views
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Why is this complete? That was like 1/4th done. It wasn't bad, but.
HOLY CRAP A ZOMBIE! SOMEONE GET MY SHOTGU--Oh, it's just Meme-asaurus.
Good to see you somewhat among the living, friendo.
7132401 I was thinking the same thing. First thing I said was Holy Crap!
Good stuff, and if she think fluttershy reaction was weird, she should be glad her dad didn't arrive, his height would have made her scream hypersonic loud.
>they all call it Pinkie
…I think that's actually really accurate.
...I want more.
Hm....
Well, there's nothing really wrong with this whole thing, per-say... but it just feels like it's... incomplete, I suppose.
It's a problem I have a lot of oneshots, they don't seem to have an ending so much as they just stop. This doesn't read like a full story so much as it does a scene out of a larger story, and it's abrupt ending doesn't help matters either. The story might honestly benefit from a longer, more drawn out, style of writing. Or at least going into a bit more detail about Ember, her emotions while things are happening, and potentially adding some snark (since that's what you seem to be going for with her characterization).
Plus, and this is more a problem with first-person stories, the descriptions in the story just seem a little lacking as well. There's a way to pull it off, but I can't offer you specific advice on that front. I've never really been much for first-person stories myself.
There's an idea here, you just need to refine it a bit more.
only one major error this is marked complete, this is obviously an error. Please correct .
Wow I thought at first this wasn't going to be so great with the first person point of view and all. You hit the nail on the head perfectly though, have a like and a favorite for nailing a cute but harsh personality.
7132393
It does feel like a good start to something more. Sure it can end here and should appreciate the good writing that came up in such a short span of time between the airing of the episode and this fic. Although now I want to see Ember and other dragon's reactions to the story of Spike the Brave & Glorious (& one-time-kaiju)!
This is a great start, but it's only a start. Have the rest of it be about Ember getting a crash course in pony culture.
Something tells me that we are about to have the world's first "Ponyville welcomes the Dragon Lor(d)" party. Ember will be politely confused and end up slightly freaked by just how eager some ponies are to do the 'friendship' thing.
Assuming dragons can read, I think that Ember would benefit from Twilight's self-written manual on princesshood: "So, You Accidentally Became a God-Queen - Being A Princess for Dummies"
Seriously, old Lord Torch has likely been Dragon Lord for over 1,000 years, given that only Celestia and Luna could remember the last time a Conclave was called. So, it is unlikely that anypony or anydragon knows much about being a Dragon Lord and I suspect that he's never been the sort of dragon to bother to teach Ember anything like that - His attitude is that you're tough, strong and have a powerful will and everything else will just fall into place. If Ember really wants to be an effective ruler and perhaps destroy dragonkind's reputation for just being a barely-civilised bunch of lizards that get extra big and take serious power-naps, she's going to need some advice. Teaching her Spike's Fire-mail spell and letting her correspond with Twilight might be helpful for her.
Actually, it might be helpful for them both. After all, Twilight's been a princess for barely a year in-universe. It might be good for her to have a fellow newly-appointed ruler with whom to share her fears and frustrations (although the draconic recommendation of 'just incinerate the ingrates' may not work so well with pesky and persistent pony petitioners).
Huh. Neat.
Be nice to see it further, but I get that Ember needs some more development.
Or Mayhap the community help with that.
Congrats on getting this featured!
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Also
I feel like there should be more space between scenes, but that's just my opinion.
7132393 7132584 7132599 7132600 7132619 7133006 7133054
Oh yeah, this is the FiMFiction community I remember. God, it's just like the old days.
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Also, thanks for getting this featured, guys. I was going to work on this DiscordxTwilightxFlash Sentry fic, I've been chipping away at (4,500 words on the first chapter and counting) but I can totally slap another chapter on this. After all, I think I like writing Ember. Best cynical princess with no friends. Ten out of ten.
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Story is changed from [Complete] to [Incomplete]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMO4AWxhSRw&feature=youtu.be&t=95
Godddamit. i missing a new season again!
Am I the only one who noticed all of the dragons who attended the contest, except Torch himself, were a bunch of puny teenagers? We have already seen the real deal back on the Dragon Migration.
Seems to me that the "Dragon Lord" title is little more than glorified babysitting of the fledlings, rather than an actual position of authority. Like the kid aide of the monitor on summer camps.
7133376 Hey, dragons gotta have girl/boy scouts too! Torch probably drew the short straw in keeping the brats in line.
You have no idea...
MOAR!
I'm probably the only one who thinks this, but Ember is pretty much a crossbreed between Undyne and Cynder.
Oh, and also:
But it's so totally worth it, Ember.
I loved it. I want more. Do not deny us of this.
Well, this promises to be fantastic. I especially love Ember's perception of Pinkie. Definitely looking forward to more of this, and I'm glad to see you back.
7132401
Did Meme-asaurus die? I'm very confused...
Ember's gonna set a new record for fastest FiMFiction character tag added.
And relapse hard like a drunk who says one drink couldn't possibly ruin his new drink-free life.
Welcome back, glad I made this one my first. Though now there's a certain minimal standard you've set. Wonderful.
Welcome back. :P
This is my favourite one-shot I've read for some time. I even prefer to to the actual episode itself. My favourite part is the opening 'battle' with Applejack and Dash. Freakin' brilliant!
Other than the story being a bit cramped. ( A small bit of spacing can fix that.)
This is a very solid story.
Best. Description. Of Pinkie. Ever.
It was mostly description, but the ending was solid.
~Leonzilla
7134393 I guess it was supposed to be like a self-narration.
I love this read, would you mind if I narrated it for a video?
This is really good! Keep on going!
Not a bad idea,
Nicely done!
7134775
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*Seto Kaiba Voice* See what I told you about the writing these days?
Haha!
I get it!
Oh, sweet jesus... I only got the joke recently at BUCK's SSC...
But according to The Announcer Bashes his Sisters on Youtube, the game allows 2600 players to play simulatenously, so I can imagine how much more hectic that'd be...
Well she is different i give you that.
And i think her reacting isnt abnormal simply the mane 6 tried a little bit to hard to socialise with someone who isnt like them and has other values in her live than them
overall i like it and i see potential with your portrayal of her
Lol
Aanndd now it's a two shot. Even better. You've made me wonder now though, what dragon vomit looks like. Time to do some research... Puts safety goggles on, leaves room
I can see this going 10 more rounds.....
And I laughed! And coughed to clear out my lungs after water went down the wrong pipe... Keep up the good work!
Ember sure is a good sport. Considering this is probably the first time in Equestria that a dragon other than Spike has been to a pony party, it could probably be going much worse.
This is a really good story.