I soar through the massive, pegasus-maintained sky, scanning the surface for clusters of houses. I try to remember when I saw this much green on the ground that wasn’t on fire. My scales have always done a good job of camouflaging against a blue sky, but they always have this occasional glint that gives me away and drives me crazy. Since I’ve departed, I’ve landed seven times over just to find the best way to carry around the Scepter. I worry that I’m never going to get used to this thing. You know, aside from the surge of magical power and feeling the heartbeat of every dragon alive. I’m supposed to be looking for a town by the Everfree Forest with a big, crystal castle shaped like a tree. Or was it a crystal castle on top of a tree? Ugh, I should’ve brought the letter with me.
I consider flying back to Cloudsdale as a reference point, but I don’t want another lightning bolt to the face. Speaking of which, how do those ponies keep that overgrown mound of fluff from blowing away? Its clouds, for friggin’ sake.
Before my train of thought can derail any further, I spot my destination. The roof I land on is made of straw, so I have to be careful about not getting any of it snagged in my spikes.
“DRAGON!” call out some bystanding ponies, loudly and out of sync in their panic. Screams of terror are usually an awesome thing to hear, but in this case it kind of caught me off guard. Surprised, that’s the word. Yeah, like I’m going to be scared by a pony that’s already scared of me.
“No, wait, I’m not here to-” Too late. Guards are here. Well, one guard, anyway. She’s out of uniform and doesn’t have a weapon, but I can tell she’s on some oh-no-another-pony-is-in-danger first response team. Lesson one about raiding ponies: The ones that don’t run are always professionals. The colors of her mane are so bright, they almost makes me squint.
“Alright, you scrawny flying lizard,” Little Miss What the Hell Did You Put in Your Mane this Morning says, “you better go back where you came from or you’re gonna feel the Dash!”
The Dash? Seriously? Even for an inside joke, I can tell that’s terrible. She’s getting an eyeroll for that with a snort for good measure. I take the Bloodstone Scepter out, the most valuable artifact of dragonkind, and bop her over the head with it. She collapses like a ragdoll. Sheesh, I knew that ponies don’t have scales, but I thought they at least had skulls inside their heads or something.
“Sorry!” I say, even though I know that Pun Genius over here can’t hear me. It’s more to the ponies watching than to her.
Speaking of which nearby earth pony is already galloping towards me. She has a lasso, and apparently knows how to use it than I expected her to, since I’m tied down face-first on the ground before I know it.
“Rainbow! Ya feeling alright?” she calls out, trying to pin me down with a body smaller than mine. ‘Rainbow’ is currently snoring. I say something into the dirt that was probably best for anypony to miss out on. I snare the earth pony’s tail with mine and flick her off to one of the softer roofs. As my fangs bite through the rope I begin to think of the quickest way inside the walls of the castle. At this rate I’ll have to fight of at least, like, eleven ponies? That’s forgivable over self-defense, right?
“WAIT!”
Oh hi, Spike. Where were you during my flawless first impression?
The inside of the castle is nice enough. I don’t get a wide range of castles. Not very expecting of a princess, but pretty much a given for a dragon. I’m sitting at this big fancy table that doubles as a big 3D map of Equestria. The purpose of the map is a long, drawn-out explanation that I zoned out on. I take another sip of the first cup of tea I’ve ever had in my life. It’s surprisingly sweet. I conclude that putting sugar in things that taste awful is the best thing ever; royal decree right there. I start to wonder if these ponies went out of their way to make me a teacup that had small enough handles for my fingers, but then I notice that all the other teacups have the same handles size. So, in my conclusion, I guess that ponies just have teacups with handles too small for their hooves. Ponies are hitting their highs and lows all over the place today.
Speaking of tensions between races, the rainbow-maned pony that said that I was ‘going to feel the Dash’ (full name ‘Rainbow Dash’) is BFFs with Twilight here. Of course, all ponies are BFFs in some extent. It’s kind of their thing, especially in small little towns like these. She has woken up and is giving me the stink eye, even though SHE was the one that assaulted ME. Twilight’s going on about how kicking ass first and asking questions later is Rainbow Dash’s whole deal, sprinkling in words like ‘passionate’ and ‘protective.’ Yikes, and I thought only dragons could be this reckless.
Whatever. I can live with her hating me on the down-low. I invented hating someone on the down-low. (A+ parenting, Dad.)
The one who roped me is called Applejack. She has the same job that every earth pony has: Growing food that ponies can eat, but dragons can’t. Although, I might have to do some research on that last detail, since Spike is loving his third apple turnover in one sitting.
There’s another presence in the room, but I can’t quite identify it. That is, it won’t sit still. It’s kind of like a big jittery bug, except it moves along the ground and occasionally the walls. The blur keeps making this constant sound, and if I can focus, some of it sounds like words. It’s starting to creep me out. At least the ponies acknowledge it, so that’s a sign I’m not going crazy.
They all call it ‘Pinkie.’
Next to Rarity, there’s another pegasus that I think is doing an impression of a painting. You know, the kind of optical illusion ones that make it seem like its eyes are following you around the room. She’s completely motionless. I don’t think she’s blinked since she was forced into the room. Her mouth is wide agape, letting out a whisper of a never-ending scream. I gather that her name is ‘Fluttershy’ and that she doesn’t talk much. I like her. I always admired the strong, silent type, and this is kind of like that. Right? Yeah, no. Didn’t think so. Nothing like that. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that she’s just kind of a wimp. Although, Twilight insists that Fluttershy is ‘the nicest pony in the world once you get to know her,’ and I’ve been sticking to a ‘don’t knock it till you’ve tried it’ mentality since I came here.
It’s still hard to make out, but Pinkie seems to be mentioning a certain word over and over again. I decide it’s worth investigating.
“Yo, Spike, what’s a party?”
Pinkie stops, motion-wise and sentence-wise. In that rare instance, I discover that she’s shaped like a pony. Kind of obvious, in hindsight. Also, she’s looking at me like I don’t know what gravity is.
Spike scratched his head. “It’s, uh, this thing we do to celebrate a special occasion. We all go to this one place at once to have fun. There’s usually lots of singing and cake!”
Before I have time to respond, Pinkie has recovered from her shock to launch into another spew of gibberish.
“Omigosh and there’s TONS of ways to throw one! There’s the parties I throw whenever there’s a new pony in Ponyville; cuteceañeras; there’s after parties, which are kind of like a party to cool down after you go to a bigger party so you can get ready for MORE parties, there’s dances; festivals; parades; birthday parties-”
“Birth… day? I don’t get it.”
Pinkie was now looking at me like I had just suggested that we take Princess Celestia and dump her in a vat of acid.
“You’ve never had a birthday party?” she says in the slowest manner she managed to do all afternoon.
“Um… no, I don’t think so. What is it?” I’m trying to deconstruct the phrase. “Is it like a party you ‘throw,’ as you call it, when you’re born? I don’t think I’d remember that day.”
I think I broke her now. Rainbow Dash is trying not to laugh. I think Rainbow and I are good for the time being. Spike looks worried, though.
“Hey, girls?” he pipes up. “I don’t think we should go this route. Remember the last time I had a birthday party? With the presents and the growing?”
It’s looking like a funeral all of the sudden. Guests are avoiding eye contact. I suspect it’s not my fault the tone shifted this way, but that means it’s harder for me to change it back. The awkward silence stretch out like a rubber band.
I huff, making a bit of smoke. Royal decree: Friendship is hard.
Why is this complete? That was like 1/4th done. It wasn't bad, but.
HOLY CRAP A ZOMBIE! SOMEONE GET MY SHOTGU--Oh, it's just Meme-asaurus.
Good to see you somewhat among the living, friendo.
7132401 I was thinking the same thing. First thing I said was Holy Crap!
Awkward
Good stuff, and if she think fluttershy reaction was weird, she should be glad her dad didn't arrive, his height would have made her scream hypersonic loud.
>they all call it Pinkie
…I think that's actually really accurate.
...I want more.
Hm....
Well, there's nothing really wrong with this whole thing, per-say... but it just feels like it's... incomplete, I suppose.
It's a problem I have a lot of oneshots, they don't seem to have an ending so much as they just stop. This doesn't read like a full story so much as it does a scene out of a larger story, and it's abrupt ending doesn't help matters either. The story might honestly benefit from a longer, more drawn out, style of writing. Or at least going into a bit more detail about Ember, her emotions while things are happening, and potentially adding some snark (since that's what you seem to be going for with her characterization).
Plus, and this is more a problem with first-person stories, the descriptions in the story just seem a little lacking as well. There's a way to pull it off, but I can't offer you specific advice on that front. I've never really been much for first-person stories myself.
There's an idea here, you just need to refine it a bit more.
only one major error this is marked complete, this is obviously an error. Please correct .
Wow I thought at first this wasn't going to be so great with the first person point of view and all. You hit the nail on the head perfectly though, have a like and a favorite for nailing a cute but harsh personality.
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It does feel like a good start to something more. Sure it can end here and should appreciate the good writing that came up in such a short span of time between the airing of the episode and this fic. Although now I want to see Ember and other dragon's reactions to the story of Spike the Brave & Glorious (& one-time-kaiju)!
This is a great start, but it's only a start. Have the rest of it be about Ember getting a crash course in pony culture.
Something tells me that we are about to have the world's first "Ponyville welcomes the Dragon Lor(d)" party. Ember will be politely confused and end up slightly freaked by just how eager some ponies are to do the 'friendship' thing.
Assuming dragons can read, I think that Ember would benefit from Twilight's self-written manual on princesshood: "So, You Accidentally Became a God-Queen - Being A Princess for Dummies"
Seriously, old Lord Torch has likely been Dragon Lord for over 1,000 years, given that only Celestia and Luna could remember the last time a Conclave was called. So, it is unlikely that anypony or anydragon knows much about being a Dragon Lord and I suspect that he's never been the sort of dragon to bother to teach Ember anything like that - His attitude is that you're tough, strong and have a powerful will and everything else will just fall into place. If Ember really wants to be an effective ruler and perhaps destroy dragonkind's reputation for just being a barely-civilised bunch of lizards that get extra big and take serious power-naps, she's going to need some advice. Teaching her Spike's Fire-mail spell and letting her correspond with Twilight might be helpful for her.
Actually, it might be helpful for them both. After all, Twilight's been a princess for barely a year in-universe. It might be good for her to have a fellow newly-appointed ruler with whom to share her fears and frustrations (although the draconic recommendation of 'just incinerate the ingrates' may not work so well with pesky and persistent pony petitioners).
Huh. Neat.
Be nice to see it further, but I get that Ember needs some more development.
Or Mayhap the community help with that.
Congrats on getting this featured!
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Also
I feel like there should be more space between scenes, but that's just my opinion.
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Oh yeah, this is the FiMFiction community I remember. God, it's just like the old days.
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Also, thanks for getting this featured, guys. I was going to work on this DiscordxTwilightxFlash Sentry fic, I've been chipping away at (4,500 words on the first chapter and counting) but I can totally slap another chapter on this. After all, I think I like writing Ember. Best cynical princess with no friends. Ten out of ten.
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Story is changed from [Complete] to [Incomplete]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMO4AWxhSRw&feature=youtu.be&t=95
Godddamit. i missing a new season again!
Am I the only one who noticed all of the dragons who attended the contest, except Torch himself, were a bunch of puny teenagers? We have already seen the real deal back on the Dragon Migration.
Seems to me that the "Dragon Lord" title is little more than glorified babysitting of the fledlings, rather than an actual position of authority. Like the kid aide of the monitor on summer camps.
7133376 Hey, dragons gotta have girl/boy scouts too! Torch probably drew the short straw in keeping the brats in line.
You have no idea...
MOAR!
I'm probably the only one who thinks this, but Ember is pretty much a crossbreed between Undyne and Cynder.
Oh, and also:
But it's so totally worth it, Ember.
I loved it. I want more. Do not deny us of this.
Well, this promises to be fantastic. I especially love Ember's perception of Pinkie. Definitely looking forward to more of this, and I'm glad to see you back.
7132401
Did Meme-asaurus die? I'm very confused...
Ember's gonna set a new record for fastest FiMFiction character tag added.
And relapse hard like a drunk who says one drink couldn't possibly ruin his new drink-free life.
Welcome back, glad I made this one my first. Though now there's a certain minimal standard you've set. Wonderful.
Welcome back. :P
This is my favourite one-shot I've read for some time. I even prefer to to the actual episode itself. My favourite part is the opening 'battle' with Applejack and Dash. Freakin' brilliant!
Other than the story being a bit cramped. ( A small bit of spacing can fix that.)
This is a very solid story.
Best. Description. Of Pinkie. Ever.
It was mostly description, but the ending was solid.
~Leonzilla
7134393 I guess it was supposed to be like a self-narration.
I love this read, would you mind if I narrated it for a video?
This is really good! Keep on going!
Not a bad idea,
Nicely done!
Huh. Pegasi must’ve invented them (pinions to “grab” the handles?). I mean, how else would the handles come to be?
Great start. Looking forward to more—oh wait, there is more!
Edit: Completed already?
Ah, I'm loving Ember so far. Decent and civil, but has the base dragon culture worked into her personality. At the same time, she has the warrior princess (Now Dragon Lord) thing going for her.
7134345
I've said it once, and I'll say it again:
Pinkie Pie is a changeling.
It all makes sense.
The insane sugar intake, the skittering around, the whole "breaking physics" thing (flying and using magic, even though you can't see her wings or horn when she does it so it looks like she's defying the laws of reality*), and the fact that she's the only brilliantly colored member of the Pie family (the rest have the colors of ~and are named after~ rocks).
The Pie family adopted a changeling, and it must have gotten stuck in it's "pink filly" disguise, so they named her Pinkamena.
*They're changelings. Infiltration is a requirement for them to even get a meal, so it would make sense that they can use magic without unicorns or any other ponies sensing said magic use. Changeling magic would make sense as being a stealthy form of magic.
Though it can't be detected, they can no doubt mimic pony magic when they want a spell or bit of magic to be sensed by ponies (so as not to be revealed when they're in their disguise by casing a spell and the ponies around them seeing the spell's effect, but not able to sense the use of magic).
7138417 Amazing. I love it.
Fascinating. I like Ember's observations of ponies.
It strikes me that dragons, because of their solitary, harsh natures, don't seem to have any kind of culture.
You mean like a dragon's stomach?
There's a vore for that...
Finally found time to come off of my profile page to read what's on the front page and ain't I happy my young age didn't meddle with my sight because I found a story that's just right.
That is to say, I thoroughly enjoyed this and I will proceed to read and comment on the second chapter.
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I SECOND THIS!!
Would you like some pepper with that saltiness?
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That makes a whole lot of sense actually! (There are quite a few "Pinkie is a Changling" storys out there), one of my other ideas is that Pinkie is a minor Chaos being.. of some sort.
7134345
I agree! That really sums her up
7138980
*blinks* There seems to be vore for everything... I never got the point of it..
7210981
I think a Ghost Chili would make more sense.. she wouldn't even feel that peper XD
.......
Oh on the topic of salt wonder what salt tastes like to dragons, and what it's effects would be...
OH YOUR GOD YES