• Member Since 28th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen 14 hours ago

chief maximus


Why do I write? Because I can't draw! I write mainly as an outlet, and don't take it too seriously. If you like what I write, awesome! If not, that's cool too.

E
Source

Ember's been the Dragon Lord for a few months now, and the pressures of the throne are beginning to get to her. Although she told her new (and only) pony friend Twilight that she could write to her with any questions about dragon culture, she was beginning to think that maybe she would need to send a letter the other way. After all, Ember's a young princess, just like Twilight! Surely she can give her some princess-ly advice? But Twilight may find that a dragon princess has a few problems that might be a bit different from her own.

*Mods, Ember character tag pls.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 198 )

Wow, so many fics created around this one episode since it's airing. And as long as they continue to be of this quality, who's complaining? Have a fave and a like. :twilightsmile:

Not Bad for a beginning but shouldnt you ad a Spike tag ?
Even if he isnt a main focus of the story he is still in some way Embers first friend and a little bit closer to her because he is a Dragon.
For slice of life tag i dont know we have to see if it is the right thing

Here we go! Ember is my new favorite so this looks like it might be fun

7135249 whoops! fixed that, thanks for reading!

Hmm, some interesting setup here, sir. What did Torch tell Ember about her mother? I love the way you portray Twilight and Spike. You always manage to capture Spike's "Little Boy-ness."

Can't wait to see where this goes.

Hard to judge at only the first chapter, but the writing is fine, I'll gladly wait to see where this is going.

On an unrelated note, could you please add the author of the picture to your description? Merit where is due.

7136623 I knew there was something I forgot to do. Credited, thanks for reading!

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/fa/fa/c2/fafac2ecad7a3976fb6e95ee24392170.jpg

Sorry, saw your avatar and had to post that.

As for the story. Interesting first chapter.

An excellent start. I'll be waiting for more. Tracked and upthumbed, we'll see about the fave.

Great story! I am excited to see where this all goes!

So Ember was like Twilight when she first started out in her first days as Princess.

7137065 similar, definitely. But she'll have a few different problems, as well as some familiar ones.

Lingering questions from the episode...

Why did the summons only bring the immature dragons?

How did Celestia and Luna know what the glowing meant, unless they have more knowledge about dragons than they let on?

Who made the armor for the young dragons? It's clearly custom-made, and that takes skill.

The dragon lord specifically said 'Dragons of Equestria', which implies that this was not set in the dragon lands across the sea. So we still haven't really left Equestria.

I would have liked to get a bigger feel for the previous dragon lord and his relationship to Equestria. Was he solely responsible for the relative peace between dragons and ponies? If so, how did he reach an accord with Celestia?

This episode would be great as a starting point for developing the dragons... but I fear that, like Griffinstone, it'll end up being a one-shot set-piece and STILL not tell us anything about the world outside Equestria, since the Griffon Kingdom was also within Equestria's continental boundary.

7137466
My guesses about the summons are that either the Bloodstone Sceptre doesn't have power over elder dragons, or that he only summoned young dragons because only young dragons can be Dragonlord. That would explain why Torch was being forced to step down, as he'd become too old for the position.

7137466 I don't know if this is a place to discuss it (somewhat related story) or whether you are interested in opinions of all people or just the author. But here is my opinion and if it's unwanted I'll delete.

Maybe the dragon lord summon only the young because he wanted his successor to be equivalent of human in his 20s. Someone young and vital. Maybe that's how dragons do it. The scepter seems to be made for much smaller dragon too.

Celestia and Luna sometimes act like McGuffin in the show and just tell the protagonist what needs to be done. Maybe they know more and maybe this glowing thing was the only thing they knew.

The armor, I have no clue. Maybe dragons craft stuff. Dragon lord was wearing jewelry and the scepter is a created thing.

Dragons of Equestria. OK this might be wrong and contradict the comic but I suspect that the entire place is called Equestria. Like everything that exists is Equestria. The dragons in the episode refer to a place they call pony lands and suggest that ponies live there. So this might be one of those weird name conundrums like with England, Great Britain or United Kingdom. Or like when one country in America is called America.

7137568

Dragons of Equestria. OK this might be wrong and contradict the comic but I suspect that the entire place is called Equestria.

A lot of people think Equestria is the name of the planet they live on but I disagree :twilightsmile:
1) The current cannon Equestrian map has unmarked land simply known as undiscovered, so the fact that the map is titled Equestria means the Locations on the map itself is known as Equestria not the things outside of the map.
2) The map we have is not indicative of a full temperate planet
3) Celestia rules Equestria but frequently meets and greets "foreign" ambassador's from nations she doesn't control. Which contradicts her being the ruler of the world of Equestria
4) Also that specific phrase "the magical LAND of Equestria" rather than world
5) But most importantly Equestria was founded when ponies migrated from a far away land and was only named Equestria when all three races came together. This means it didn't even exist as a name Pre-Windegos time

7137466

I would have liked to get a bigger feel for the previous dragon lord and his relationship to Equestria. Was he solely responsible for the relative peace between dragons and ponies? If so, how did he reach an accord with Celestia?

Well seeing as his character believe that Strength rules above all else my guess is that Celestia made him her little bitch:trollestia:

7137551

he only summoned young dragons because only young dragons can be Dragonlord. That would explain why Torch was being forced to step down, as he'd become too old for the position.

Really good point, I agree.

7137638 Ok I know where are you coming from but consider this. The country Celestia rules is called Equestria and the continent it sits on is also called Equestria.

To put it in perspective. On Earth we have USA sometimes abbreviated as America and it sits on the continent that is also called America (North America in western culture). So when Celestia visits lets say Crystal Empire it is equivalent of American president visiting Canada. He left country America but stayed on continent America. I know it is confusing but word doesn't have to be simple. So when ponies refer to Equestria they sometimes refer to the country and sometimes to the entire world.

7137727 That would imply when Columbus sailed the ocean blue they rename the entire world North America. I understand where you're coming from but that's back to point 1, 2, and 5 The World itself can't be Equestria. It is possible that it's the continent that makes up what we see on the map.

4.bp.blogspot.com/-uj5l0C_W9Ps/Vh9gxWnaXKI/AAAAAAAAA98/kYLCGxpkHmI/s1600/eq_map.jpg

This may be Equestria but this isn't a world map it's a continental map. We know from the Hearths Warming stories the the top of the map labeled "into the unknown" is most likely the lands where ponies originated as they were escaping the Windegos (which freeze everything in their path making their northern ice cap larger than our planets) Considering a planet's climate there needs to be a southern ice cap on their planet that's not even remotely hinted at on this map. Also taking into account Celestia controls the suns path and Pegasi control the weather it's reasonable to assume the sun simply travels straight around their planet over the equator. Which is most likely somewhere in between The Macintosh Hills and somewhere off the map to the south. Basically I'm pretty sure this is close to only 25% of their world on this map. (Sorry for the rant I'm really into mapping things out and the fact that the map leaves so much out really annoys me.)

But all the evidence points to this being a continental map rather than a world map thus meaning the map name is a continent name not a world name and it would be impossible for a race to settle a new land and change the name of the world to their new lands name.

An Ember story by maximus?

Commence read!

Hmm, wonder what Ember's father told her. Garble hardly seems smart enough to stage a coup unless he's thinking Ember will be really unpopular and the other dragons will all gang up on her or something after her father dies, I don't know? I'm intrigued,i'll follow along and see where this goes.:moustache:

A solid start. A few typos in the first couple paragraphs, but otherwise I like what I'm reading. Definitely looking forward to seeing where this goes. Tracking.

Nice story so far!! Keep it up! :)

And got damn it, brain! Why do you always have a song ready when it comes to this situations? :/

[youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEjM_wF1VBA]

"Scales of Justice comics are heat resistant up to 451 degrees!"

This wouldn't happen to be measured in Fahrenheit, would it?

-Ambassador of the Changelings,
Dopple Ganger

Hmm, I'm curious about Ember's mother now.

7138373 She'll be talked about, I just didn't want to exposition dump the story Torch told Ember.

7137551 Weeeeeeelllll... problem with all those 'assumptions' is that a narrative is supposed to provide such details about central plot developments.

That's rather fundamental to good storytelling and script writing.

Looking good overall, but... Spike is a still a child, if not a baby dragon, isn't it too soon for him to think about a mate?

Nice Fahrenheit 451 reference. :pinkiesmile:

It appears Dear Garble has something up his metaphorical sleeve.

7138600

Weeeeeeelllll... problem with all those 'assumptions' is that a narrative is supposed to provide such details about central plot developments.
That's rather fundamental to good storytelling and script writing.

This is true.
But we also can't forget: the show is only 22 minutes, give or take. There's a LOT that never make it into the episodes that should be there--which only leaves it to us bronies to create "logical assumptions" to fill in those gaps.:facehoof:

There perhaps hasn't been as many stories popping up here related to a single episode as there were since Twilight got promoted to alicorn--and this is one that's essentially giving us a fresh introduction to the culture of an entire species. The dragon migration was only one small feature of that culture. And the ponies' other encounters don't even come close to scratching at the surface to rate a mention. THIS episode, however, is a major element to that culture. In one fell swoop, we've been introduced to not only the ruler for perhaps the past few centuries, if not a millennia or so, but how that ruler and his successor was chosen, how the rulers relate to the common dragon, how dragons relate to other species, and so on....

I'm afraid this is only the beginning.:moustache:

These chapters are too short! I just start really getting into it and it's over. If only each chapter was 5-10k words... oh, who am I kidding, it still wouldn't be enough. Great job getting me hooked on this. :pinkiehappy:

Good start to the story. I will be waiting for more.

7138788 It would have been pretty simple to fill some of them:

Celestia: "The dragons glow when the Dragon Lord calls them. The current Lord, Torch, is an old acquaintance of Luna's and mine." *establishes timeline, relative age of the current Lord, and the likelihood that he's on good terms with the ponies.

Dragon Lord Torch: "As I am quite old, I have called of the young dragons not yet with a hoard to compete." Gives the reason only the young dragons were there with a bit of nuanced detail to boot.

Those additions would have taken seconds, which could have been subtracted from minor scenes which added little to nothing to the overall story. Such as Rarity's inevitably pointless sneeze.

Keep it coming. You've got a good story.

7138840 Agreed. On the other hand, I've studied a little about what goes into shows. Yes, from our perspective, just a few seconds of dialogue could fill in SOOOOO much. I agree, her sneeze was rather contrived, but they had to have some way for the ponies to get revealed.

But consider if they DID put in those few sentences you suggested. Yes, that would fill in soooo much. But we'd STILL be looking to see what else could've been put in there...and more...and more...

Unfortunately, those seconds quickly add up--and before you'd even begin to get satisfied, we'd be looking at a 3 hour movie---AND there'd STILL BE MORE WE'D LIKE TO SEE!:twilightangry2:

Which puts us back to why all that and other things got cut in the first place: Time = $$$$. Those few seconds that didn't get cut mean less time for the commercials paying for the show to air. Also, filling in those details means less potential for future episode opportunities with those same cultures and individuals.

Look at the griffons, for instance. Would there even be the interest in them had we been introduced to the state of Griffonstone back in Season 1 when Gilda showed up? Would the appearances of griffons in the sporting games of Season 4 be looked at as intriguing characters in their own right or wouldn't we be looking at them as just "the racially token poor folk from the ghetto trying to win a medal"? Would there ever have been a point of visiting them again in Season 5?
As it sits now, however, when the show ever gets around to revisiting Gilda again, we will see if she was able to lead her nation into a new age of prosperity or her efforts to rebuild will still be at the starting gates or somewhere inbetween.

Granted, in the early seasons, the producers may never have expected the show to have lasted this long. But with the brony community bolstering their viewership, we can be sure they're already looking at scripts for Seasons 7, 8, 9,.... Which means future episodes will revisit old ideas, characters and cultures, as well as new characters and cultures will get introduced, and more gaps in their backgrounds when they are.

....which...also means....more stories here, too:twilightsmile:

Don't you enjoy being part of that vicious cycle?:rainbowlaugh:

7138964 The problem with Rarity's initial sneeze is that it DIDN'T lead to them being revealed. It was a red herring for those who were expecting that to be the case.

World-building is a tricky thing, but when the option is there to leave out a couple pointless filler scenes and replace them with a few key details, that tends to be what great writers manage to do in what little time they have.

I would point to the hectic madness of "Animaniacs", which managed to tell entire stories in a few minutes time will every single detail relevant to those particular shorts.

Or, an even better example of stellar animation writing: "Batman: The Animated Series". That show won Emmy Awards for writing, and actually influenced the canon of the comic itself. "Heart of Ice" is one of the greatest feats of animated storytelling in television history.

Give Twilight that access and she'll never leave

7138735 that depends on how you view spike up to this point. I was using the fact that no one has called him a baby dragon in a while. Ember even called him a runt in the episode, instead of a baby, so I took that to mean that by now, maybe he's around 12/13 years old range.

Expected more of a Pinkie style "Twilight bouncing around the room" gag at the end like when she learned she was going to be an Aunt but fainting works too. :pinkiehappy:

7139712
Then I think it could be good to put it in, like "Spike was now a teenager according to the dragons' law" or point he has grown up a bit or stuff like that. Without information, one can assume he's still at the age and size he has in the show.

7135285 srsly, noob supreme rulers amiright?

7139820

Size yes. But he's CMC age in the show. As for draconic biological maturity, being a dragon makes that ambiguous at best. I mean he did hit adult hood twice before reverting, and yes it could technically be considered artificial, but for a species who uses magic for eating, growth, birth, thermal regulation / metabolism, and are highly magical creatures, it still kinda counts.

That said, with how many different types and styles of dragons there are. I hope we get Spike's dream form, rather than the fannon trope of Kaiju lizard Spike like when he hit adult hood the second time.

Interesting story. Ember is unsure about her position, and there seems to be a plot afoot. I'm definitely going to follow.

However, I strongly suggest that you get an editor. There are some errors that crept through:

Twilight hummed to herself as she glanced over the coming weeks tasks.

coming week's tasks

he had become fairly self conscious about his lack of something it seemed most if not all dragons had.

Punctuation errors. It should read thus:

he had become fairly self-conscious about his lack of something it seemed most, if not all dragons, had.

"Spike, Ember did just fine against him during the Gauntlet of Fire, and now that she's got the Bloodstone scepter, he'd be crazy to try anything! Not to mention her Dad is gigantic!"

Capitalization errors. "Scepter" should be capitalized; "Dad" shouldn't.

You're probably right, let's just get to the fort.

That comma should be either a semicolon or a period.

Within the hour, they arrived at the mouth of a massive volcano, the mountain itself seemed to be shaped like a roaring dragon, smoke billowing from it's mouth and into the sky, staining the vibrant hues of the setting sun with an ashen coat.

Multiple errors. It should read thus:

Within the hour, they arrived at the mouth of a massive volcano. The mountain itself seemed to be shaped like a roaring dragon, smoke billowing from its mouth and into the sky, staining the vibrant hues of the setting sun with an ashen coat.

"I set a room aside for you guys, ponies sleep on hay, right?" Ember asked.

That first comma should be a period or a semicolon.

"I'm sure you're both tired from the trip, they'll be time for talking tomorrow,"

First, that comma should be a semicolon. Second, I believe you meant to type, "there'll be more time"

She stopped, looking back at Spike who had turned to wait on her.

Comma needed between "Spike" and "who".

Take your time, you invited us here, and we can talk whenever you feel ready.

Punctuation errors. Consider one of these fixes:

Take your time; you invited us here. We can talk whenever you feel ready.

Take your time! You invited us here, and we can talk whenever you feel ready.

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